by Kat Mizera
He cursed himself for letting her go, for not trying harder to keep her with him. Safe. Comfortable. Why was he so damn stubborn? Over the course of two months he’d fallen deeply in love with her and even if he hadn’t, he knew how much danger she was in. If her stepfather found her, he would kill her, and Phantom would lose his fucking mind if anyone laid a finger on her.
The lyrics from the song “Kentucky Rain” flitted through his mind as he showed her picture to a group of older gentlemen sitting on folding chairs in front of a neighborhood convenience store. They all shook their heads, saying they hadn’t seen her, and Phantom stomped off in frustration. He didn’t know what he would do if he didn’t find her. Or worse, if he didn’t find her in time.
“Hey, mister.” A kid of about nine or ten was calling to him and Phantom stopped, turning with narrowed eyes.
“You looking for the girl with the purple streaks in her hair?”
Phantom nodded. “Did you see her?”
“She was at the homeless shelter last night, but when I woke up this morning she was gone. She left her stuff behind so I hung on to it for her. Otherwise, it would be gone.” He proffered the familiar purple backpack.
Phantom reached for it slowly and dug some money out of his wallet, handing it to him. “Can you show me where the shelter is?”
“You’re not gonna hurt her, are you? She told my mom she was runnin’ from somebody.”
Phantom knelt in front of him. “You think I’m the guy who wants to hurt her?”
“You’re not.” The kid gave him a gap-toothed smile. “You’re wearing an Army Golden Knights hoodie. My dad was a Golden Knight. Before he died. And he was a good guy…” A frown crossed his little face. “You’re a good guy, right, mister?”
Phantom smiled. “Yeah, kid. I’m a good guy.”
Jared had just gotten back to his room a few nights later when Connor’s name flashed on the screen of his phone. He grimaced, unsure of what to expect, and he answered reluctantly.
“Hey, Connor.”
“You sitting down?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. What’s going on?”
“I’m serious. You might want to sit down.”
“Stop being such a drama queen. What did she do?”
“We can’t be sure, of course, until we do some tests but…”
“Connor. What. The. Fuck. Just say it already.”
“You have a kid.”
Jared burst out laughing. “Yeah, okay. Shut the fuck up. What really happened?”
“We can’t be sure without a DNA test, but according to her husband, her father, and her lawyer, she had your kid six months after she left you.”
Jared sank onto the bed and tried to breathe. “You’re serious?”
“Yeah.”
“Bitch. That fucking bitch.” Jared released a slew of insults, clenching his fists in unbridled fury. What the hell had she done? He wasn’t just mad, he was livid. She’d been flighty and self-absorbed while they were together, but she’d been faithful, beautiful, and fun. She hadn’t wanted kids either at first, but about six months before his accident she had started making noises about having “just one.” He’d put her off, saying he wasn’t interested, but she hadn’t let up. He’d said they would talk about it after hockey season was over, and of course, the car accident happened the night after they’d won the championship.
If she had a kid six months after they separated, that meant she’d gotten pregnant just before the accident, because she’d left not too long after.
“Jared?”
Shit. He’d forgotten Connor was still on the phone.
“I’m too mad to talk right now,” he hissed through clenched teeth.
“The stepdad doesn’t want him and her dad says he’s too much of a handful for someone his age. They already had DNA done so we just have to have a comparison done.”
“We need to do our own test. I can overnight you a swab of my saliva and then I want you to find a lab that can do a rush job. I don’t care what it costs. I’m not doing shit until we have proof.” He paused. “I’m assuming the kid is in no immediate danger?”
“No, he’s staying at the house with the stepfather, but he and Elsa had two other kids and Roger is pretty grief-stricken. They found out she had cancer about four months ago and she’s already gone. Breast cancer. I guess it had spread. It wasn’t until she’d stopped breastfeeding the baby about six months ago that she’d noticed something was wrong.”
“Jesus.” Jared let out a breath. “Look, I’ll overnight you a package tomorrow. If we can get results in two or three days, that would be optimum.”
“There are places that do it in twenty-four hours.”
“Perfect.”
“What happens if he’s really your kid?”
Jared blew out a breath. “I have no fucking idea.”
19
Renee and Daisy had changed their itinerary after her impromptu trip to Montreux, so they headed to Paris when they left Athens. Sitting in her hotel room, Renee realized she hadn’t heard from Jared in two days, which was odd for them. They normally talked all day long via text and called each other in the evening before bed. She’d known he would be busy with the hockey clinic but this was kind of strange.
“Hey, Mom, did you know Jared is on his way back to the U.S.?” Daisy asked her as they got ready for bed.
“What?” Renee turned in surprise.
“Zio said Jared’s lawyer called him with some news and he booked a flight out right away. He hasn’t even landed yet.”
Well, that explained today’s silence, but why hadn’t he called her last night? Or from the airport? Renee itched to send him a text, but refrained, an uncomfortable feeling settling in her chest. What could have happened? Her gut told her it was those unanswered calls from his ex-wife. What else could it be that would make him leave without even calling her?
“Are you sad, Mom?” Daisy asked.
“What?” She looked up in surprise, having forgotten Daisy was there. “No, not sad, just worried. It must have been pretty serious for him to just jump on a plane like that.”
“Aren’t you going to call him?”
“He’s still on the plane, so not yet. But I will in the morning when I get up, since it’ll still be nighttime in the U.S.”
“Relationships are hard, aren’t they?” Daisy asked quietly.
Renee glanced at her. “Yes, sometimes. Why? Is something going on with you and Zio?”
“No.” Daisy shook her head but was twirling a lock of her hair around her finger, a sure sign she was nervous.
“But?”
“I heard from Ben today.”
“Ben? From high school?”
She nodded. “He’s in Paris and saw that I was here and wants to see me.”
“How is this world so small?” Renee muttered. “Honey, if you’re in a relationship with Zio, I don’t think you should see Ben. He tends to mess with your head and that’s not fair to you or to Zio.”
“So I can’t be friends with a guy because of Zio?”
“Not at all, but Ben isn’t just a friend. You’ve slept with him, had a relationship with him, and up until recently, still harbored feelings for him. How would you feel if Zio was hanging out with one of his old girlfriends while you’re away?”
Daisy sighed. “I know, but…it’s Ben. I mean, I’ve loved him since I was fifteen.”
Renee chose her words carefully. “But I don’t think he loves you, honey.”
“What if he does?”
“You’re an adult and you can do what you want. I’m discouraging it, but I certainly can’t stop you. The only thing I’ll say is, if he tries to get in your pants, it’s a booty call and you’re better than that. Do not be the kind of woman that cheats.”
“No, I wouldn’t do that.”
“Call Zio right now and break things off if you think you’re going to sleep with Ben.”
Daisy’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”
&n
bsp; “Absolutely. I think it would be a mistake, but don’t make it two mistakes by cheapening yourself. Sex is easy. Relationships, as you said, are much harder.”
“You’re right.” She lifted her chin. “I’m going to tell him I can’t, that you and I have plans.”
“Which we do. We’re spending tomorrow at the Louvre.”
“Yup, we sure are.” Daisy pulled out her phone and started typing something. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, kiddo.”
Renee didn’t sleep, tossing and turning, dozing for about two hours and finally sitting up at five in the morning. Her insomnia was back in all its glory and she was going to be exhausted the rest of the day, but she’d been thinking about Jared all night and desperately wanted to find out what was going on. Quickly getting dressed and grabbing her purse, she slipped out of the room so she wouldn’t wake Daisy and walked out of the hotel, onto the street. She dialed his number and waited. He picked up on the fourth ring.
“Hey, Renee.”
Yikes. His voice sounded raspy, tired, like he had a cold.
“Where are you?” she asked.
“Augusta, Georgia.”
“Augusta… Why on earth are you in Georgia?”
“It’s a really long story and one I don’t even know how to tell at this point.”
“Are you okay?”
“Not even a little bit.”
“Talk to me.”
“You sitting down?”
“No, I’m taking a walk. It’s only five thirty here so Daisy’s asleep but I couldn’t sleep so I called you.”
“Insomnia back now that I’m not beside you?”
“Yeah.” She sighed.
“I’m sorry, babe.”
“It’s okay. Tell me what’s happened.”
“Elsa and I…had a kid.”
“A kid?” She stopped walking and stared at the phone as if it would tell her something.
“A little boy. He’s nine.”
“Holy shit.”
“Apparently, she was pregnant when she left me and that was why. She knew I didn’t want kids so she decided to raise him on her own.”
“Oh. My. God.”
“Exactly.”
“Wasn’t she remarried?”
“Yup, with two more kids in addition to Braden.”
“What… I don’t even know what to ask.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Have you met him?”
“No, I got here about an hour ago and I’m going to bed. I’m meeting him in the morning.”
“What about his stepfather?”
“From what Connor, my attorney, told me, the boy’s a serious handful and the stepdad can’t handle his own two kids, much less mine. And I’m quoting.”
“Are you going to do a paternity test?”
“Connor did that before I even considered coming to meet him. But now that it’s confirmed… What the hell am I going to do, Renee?” He sounded exhausted.
“I don’t know, but it’s going to be okay. I mean, he’s your kid. You can’t just walk away. Can you?”
“Not if his stepdad doesn’t want him and his grandfather can’t handle him. This is a clusterfuck. I start my new job in a few weeks and I don’t even own a bed, much less a home of some kind for a kid.”
“You know you’re welcome to stay at my house, but I’m not due back to the U.S. for two more weeks and then I’m gone almost the whole month of September.”
“I may not have a choice but to stay with you for a few days, until I can find an apartment, but with this new development, I don’t think I can just move in with you.”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “It’s not something I’ve given any thought to at all.”
“And you don’t like kids any more than I do.”
“I never said I didn’t like them, I just said I don’t want to raise any more. I love kids. I love talking to them, playing a game or two, feeding them and then giving them back to their parents.”
He chuckled but it didn’t seem funny at this point. “You and me both.”
“Do you want me to come home? Give you a hand getting settled?”
He hesitated. “I don’t want to ruin your summer, babe. You and Daisy have plans and stuff.”
“I know, but if you want me to come, I will. I bet if I offer to pay for Zio’s flight and let him stay with us, Daisy won’t mind at all.”
“Could you?” His voice was so quiet she barely heard him.
“I can’t come immediately, but I can be home within a week or so. Will that work?”
“Absolutely. I plan to spend several days here trying to get a feel for everything and getting to know him before I drag him across the country to live in a strange city, with a man he doesn’t know.”
“Then get some rest and call me later, okay?”
“I will. I’m sorry you’re not sleeping, beautiful.”
“Story of my life; don’t worry about it.”
“I’ll see you soon.”
“Night.”
“Night, babe.”
Renee disconnected and kept walking, away from the hotel, not towards anything in particular. She couldn’t sit in that little room with Daisy right now. She needed air, needed to breathe. How had this happened? She finally met a great guy who was everything she could possibly want and…he had a secret kid. A nine-year-old. Which meant at least a decade of parenting, something she really didn’t want to do again at this stage of her life.
Guilt washed over her as she thought about a sad, scared little boy that nobody wanted, who’d just lost his mother. Jared was all he had and she was being selfish by wishing this hadn’t happened. She desperately wanted to talk to someone but the person she wanted most was Jared, and he wasn’t the one she could express her true feelings to right now. Jesus, he was right. This was an epic clusterfuck and she was right smack in the middle of it.
What the hell had she been thinking, inviting them to stay at the house? It was only six in the morning, but she needed a drink. And chocolate. And a friend. She really needed a friend.
Andra.
Fumbling with her phone, she called her.
20
Jared’s first glimpse of his son was shockingly emotional. It was like looking in a mirror at nine years old. Big, long-lashed dark eyes, a shock of short, straight dark hair that stood up on top, and a shy, sad smile that melted his heart. The kid looked terrified, and as much of a shit as Jared could be, he simply couldn’t dig up any snark towards his kid.
He’d read the letter Elsa left for him a dozen times last night and had practically memorized it.
Dear Jared,
I’m sure you’re furious with me right now, and you have every right to be, but please, please don’t take it out on Braden. He’s innocent in all this and I probably won’t be around to protect him. You’re all he has now. Roger isn’t the best guy and he was always jealous that you and I had a son but he and I had two daughters.
I would have preferred to tell you in person, but you didn’t pick up the phone, and I don’t have any fight left in me. I’m so tired and sad and scared for my girls. I know Braden will have everything he needs, but Roger isn’t like you. He doesn’t have your drive or determination and he’s happy barely making ends meet. We blew through all the money I got in the divorce before we had our first kid and we don’t have anything. Please take Braden, give him the life he deserves. It’s okay if you hate me, just don’t hate him.
If I could do things over, I would do everything differently. I never imagined missing one pill would leave me pregnant, but that’s what happened and you were so angry after the accident… I was afraid to go and afraid to stay. Don’t think too harshly of me, Jared. I loved you, I just didn’t know what to do.
Always,
Elsa
He’d teared up the first time he read it, and then he got angry. Now he was just resigned. And really nervous about meeting his son.
“Stand up, boy.�
� Roger nudged Braden a little more firmly than Jared would have liked and he scowled at the man.
“It’s all right, Braden. I can get on your level.” He knelt down, forcing a smile. “How are you?”
“Okay.” The boy just stared, as if confused. “Who are you?”
“I told you who he is!” Roger grunted, nudging him again.
“Would you stop doing that?” Jared frowned at him this time, a clear warning that Roger seemed to miss.
“He’s your father.”
“I thought you were my dad?” Now Braden was the one scowling.
“I married your mom, but she had you with this guy, before we met.”
“Oh.” Braden seemed confused. “When is Mommy coming home?”
“She’s not, buddy.” Jared didn’t know what the hell to say about all this. “She’s in heaven. You went to the funeral, right?”
He nodded.
“So she went to heaven and—”
“Probably in hell,” Roger muttered.
Jared’s head snapped up and he narrowed his eyes. “How about you zip it?”
Roger appeared ready to argue but when Jared stood up to his full height, the other man backed down.
“Grandpa?” Braden turned to Elsa’s father. “Can I go home with you?”
“Sure, kiddo, but you know, Grandpa doesn’t feel that good. I think you might want to spend time with your dad.” His grandfather looked exhausted.
“I don’t wanna.”
“I know, buddy.” Jared didn’t know much of anything right now, but he understood how scared a nine-year-old had to be in this situation. “How about we go out for some ice cream? You want to do that?”
“You’re gonna need his booster seat,” Roger said, motioning with his head. “I took it out of the van and left it on the porch.”
“Thanks.” Jared glanced down at Braden. “What’s your favorite flavor?”
“Chocolate.”
“Okay. Let’s go get some chocolate ice cream.”
“Can Grandpa come?”