“Thanks, Pop.” I give him a hug before he goes upstairs. Guilt is setting in, so I pull out my phone to text Charlie, and I run smack into someone. Crap, I’m not even supposed to be down here.
I look up, and it’s Arianna. Her face is puffy, and her eyes are red. She looks like hell. From the sobs I heard earlier, I’m guessing she feels like hell. Fuck. Something must be seriously wrong. “Ari, I—” I want to pull her to me. I want to take her into my arms and find a way to fix whatever’s wrong.
She doesn’t give me a chance. She keeps on walking to the players’ exit.
“There’ll be press out there,” I call.
She pauses at the door.
I point down the tunnel in the opposite direction. “If you turn around and follow this down, there’s a fire exit. No one will see you. It says an alarm will sound, but it won’t. I’ve used it a bunch.”
She turns around and walks back toward me. “Thanks for the tip.”
I watch her until she disappears down the dark hallway, then I go find Aiden. He’s sitting off to the side in the bullpen, which is unlike him. He’s usually in the mix with the guys, seeing who can spit sunflower seeds the farthest or some shit like that. We watch the game together in comfortable silence. I know he was just with Ari and that something is up with her, but I won’t ask. If he wanted to tell me, he would. I don’t need to pressure him.
At the end of the ninth, the players file out, but Aid shows no sign that he’s ready to leave. Once the bullpen is empty, he breaks the silence. “Do you ever worry you made the wrong choice?” Aiden has always been full of confidence and certainty, bursting with life. But I look at him now and I see doubt and confusion. Whatever is going on between him and Ari must be weighing heavily on him. “What are you talking about?” I ask. “Which choice?”
“Any of them. All of them.” He nudges me with his elbow. “How ‘bout baseball versus football? You were a hell of a shortstop. You would have made the pros easy. You ever worry you chose the wrong path?”
His tone and questions set me ill at ease. I don’t know where he’s going with this. “I’m a QB, Aid. You know that better than anyone. It’s what I was made to do. I’ll never doubt that choice. Other choices in my life, hell yes, I worry about them. But not that one.”
He looks me in the eye. “Life’s short, Chase. If you think you chose the wrong path, get on the right one quick.”
“You trying to tell me something?” Why is everyone so convinced my life is off track?
“No, son. Just thinking about life is all. Trying to impart some wisdom to you.” He pats my shoulder, then heads out.
This is seriously going down as one of the weirdest days ever.
I take a cab back to Charlie and Spencer’s to pick up my truck. Traffic is a slow crawl from Presidio to Atherton, but it gives me time to think. I just can’t make heads or tails of anything. When I walk in the door at my house, I grab a beer and collapse on the sofa. The local sports’ guys are doing the post-show wrap-up, showing the highlight reel from the game. I don’t remember any of them. Damn, my head was in the clouds tonight.
“We had San Francisco sports royalty in the house tonight. Here’s Arianna and Aiden Aldrich, getting some quality family time…”
Mute. I don’t need to hear any more about Ari tonight. Aiden looks off though. He acted off. I’ve never seen him so morose. I’ll have to have lunch with him later this week. Damn, she looks beautiful. She’s smiling at something, and when she smiles… No. Stop. I can’t do this. I can’t go there.
My phone ringing snaps me out of it. Jenna. Fabulous. Just what I need right now. Ignore. Whatever drama she has can wait for tomorrow.
Chapter Seventeen
Arianna
I’d sworn I’d never return to Pebble Beach. It used to be one of my favorite places on the planet. Definitely one of my favorite golf courses. Until Chase ruined it for me. Now I feel as if I’m approaching the gates of hell. If I didn’t love Charlie and Spencer as much as I do, I’d be at home in a bath trying to block out all the memories this place conjures up.
I have to hand it to Spencer—he’s the world’s most perfect husband. Another month went by, and Charlie’s still not pregnant. Today is their two-year anniversary, and he’s throwing her a surprise party to cheer her up. Only Spencer Fairchild could pull together this event with less than two weeks’ notice. It will be nothing as grand as their actual wedding, but that’s not saying much. State dinners aren’t as grand as her wedding was. The guest list tonight is pared down to close friends and family, which will probably be around two hundred. Including Chase. I overheard that his fiancée won’t be joining him due to the last minute notice. I suppose I should be thankful.
I’ve been in self-condemned seclusion for the past month. I was scheduled to commentate for the French Open at the end of May. When the Tennis Network called and asked me to fly to Europe early and work the Madrid Open and the Portugal Open, I couldn’t say no. After fighting with Charlie and Daddy at the Giants game, I was in desperate need of some distance.
I canceled my visits with Dr. Clawson since I haven’t been in town, and I haven’t yet decided if that’s a good thing or not. As painful as it was rehashing things, it forced me to look at myself honestly. I was always good at that as an athlete, but I fail at it as a person. Maybe when things settle down, I’ll try to get back to her. I’ve signed on for a busy summer though.
The family should all be here already. They arrived last night and plan on spending the weekend. My plan is to arrive late and leave early, so I drive myself. Upon arriving, I valet my Spyder and very slowly make my way to the door. I may not want to be here, but at least I look amazing. Since this was last minute, I had to power shop in Europe, and I found an amazing Jenny Packman cocktail dress. It’s form fitting with black sequins, it plunges in the front and the back, and it has beaded fringe along the hem of the skirt. The dress has a flapper feel, sparking just enough glam and flare to motivate me to get out of the car. It was absurdly expensive, but judging from the looks I’m getting from the group of men waiting at the valet stand, it was totally worth every penny.
I’d like to say Chase had nothing to do with my selection, but even I’m not that much in denial. When we ran into each other at the baseball game, I looked disastrous after my horrible conversation with Daddy. If I’m forced to be in the same room with him, I want to look so good it hurts. Petty? Yes. Do I care? No.
Walking down the hall, I’m reminded of Charlie’s wedding. It was the last time Chase and I were together. I’d thought we were happy, but that just shows what a fool I was. It was all an illusion that went up in smoke.
Chase decimated my heart at the wedding. The only way I’ve been able to keep getting up in the morning was by telling myself I didn’t have to see anything that reminded me of him. I was traveling, and my life was completely sterilized of all things Chase. Since coming back, I’ve been brutalized by memories of us, but this, by far, is the most agonizing. Time to suck it up and put on a good show though.
I walk into the beautifully decorated room and quickly scan it, devising a route that will help me see those I’d like to see and avoid those that I don’t. I run into countless old family friends. Each asks about my knee, and Henrik, and my life after retirement. I provide them each the same sound bite and move on.
Along the back wall, Spencer displays a multimedia presentation of what he and Charlie have been up to since the wedding. He has several iPads with captioned pictures, and playing on the wall is a slideshow. I pick up one of the iPads and go through the first bunch of photos. Not only am I not in any of them, but I have no idea what’s going on in them. Trips I didn’t know she’d gone on, parties I didn’t know she’d had.
“You missed a lot while you were gone,” Spencer says. He pulls me in for a light hug and kisses my cheek. “No more running away, okay? We’ve missed you so much. It was never the same without you.” He looks me up and down. “Damn. Revenge is best served
in a sparkly dress and five-inch heels. I may have to send you home to change. My beautiful bride is supposed to be the center of attention tonight, and you’re stealing her spotlight.”
“It’s just a dress. No hidden agenda,” I lie. “I’m sure I won’t be stealing the spotlight from anyone. But thank you for the ego boost. I kind of needed it.”
I go back through the pictures, and Spencer points out various details. I stop when I get to pictures of them at Disneyland. We used to go every year when we were kids. Spencer’s parents had to take us because Daddy and Pat drew too much attention. The Fairchilds stopped taking Chase and me when we were twelve and got thrown out of the park for getting into a massive fight while waiting in line for the Matterhorn. After that, only Spencer and Charlie went. The summer before I went pro, the four of us went one last time, and it was one of the best times we’ve ever had. It seems they’ve been going without me for years.
I see a bunch of pictures from a Jimmy Buffett concert. Another of my favorite family activities that I’ve missed while I’ve been gone. Those were the only days when Chase and I actually got along the whole time. As I skim through the pictures, I come to one of Chase, and I almost drop the iPad. He brought Jenna. There are pictures of her with my best friend and my father. They never once asked me to come back. They simply replaced me.
I missed so much when I was on tour, but they all came to see me. We still did stuff together. We were still part of each other’s lives. But that all changed after my injury. I went into hiding. Now I feel like an outsider. Jenna’s now in the center of my family.
Chase and I never told anyone about us because we didn’t want to create a chasm if we broke up. I was protecting them, but I should have worried about protecting myself. I haven’t just lost him—I’ve lost everyone.
I kiss Spencer’s cheek and place the iPad on the table. “It looks like you’ve had a wonderful two years together. I couldn’t be happier for you.” I hear him call after me as I walk away, but I can’t talk more right now.
I make my way through the crowd until Katie catches my arm. “I’m so happy you’re here, sweetheart. You look stunning. Come with me to say hello to the Commissioner of Baseball. He and I don’t have the best relationship, so I need you to be a buffer. Hell, in that dress, he may not even remember I’m here.”
She drags me over to Mr. Klein, who talks directly to my chest. Such a charmer. We proceed to visit all the other baseball people she doesn’t want to talk to. I’m chatting with a few baseball commentators when I’m tapped on the shoulder.
“Excuse me, I’d like to dance with the most beautiful woman in the room.” Daddy takes my hand and pulls me onto the dance floor. The band is in the midst of a Sinatra set. He twirls me to face him. “You couldn’t have chosen a dress with more fabric? You know you’re in a room full of perverted jocks. Perhaps you should put on my jacket so I don’t end up in a fight.”
“Maybe you should take that as a sign you need new friends who don’t ogle your daughter. And quite frankly, it’s about time the shoe is on the other foot. Do you know how awful it was to have women throwing themselves at your feet everywhere we went?”
He chuckles. “Snickerdoodle, I’ve been dealing with men ogling you for longer than I’d care to admit. I had the same problem with your mother. No matter where we went, she was the center of attention. I’m amazed I didn’t wind up in jail.”
I lean my head on his shoulder. “You’re sweet, but I’m not Mom.”
He kisses the side of my head. “You’re even more beautiful and more talented. I wish she were here to see you. She would be in awe of you.”
Oh, how I wish that were true. “She’d be pissed off at you.”
The song changes, but Daddy doesn’t let go. “I know. I heard everything you said and everything the doctor said. I won’t let myself go down that easy. I promise I’ll try harder.”
I squeeze him tighter. “You’d better. You can’t leave me here all alone.”
“Like I’m going to let a little thing like a pesky heart keep me down. Do you know who I am?” He twirls me a few times. My father is an outstanding dancer.
“Just because you were made into an action figure does not make you superhuman.” I look at him. “I mean it, Daddy. I realize I missed so much over the two years I was gone. So much has happened that I wasn’t a part of. It feels like it’s too late to catch up, like we’re on borrowed time.”
He cups my face. “Hush. I know what the doctor said scared you, but we won’t live in fear. We will make the most of each day. Is that clear?” He kisses my nose and pulls me back into our dance. “Speaking of going away, I take it you won’t be taking any more trips to South Africa?”
“No, not likely.”
The song ends, and Daddy pulls me in for a hug. “It’s for the best. You’ll see. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some elbows to rub.”
“No drinking,” I call after him. Fat chance of that happening.
I look at my watch and realize I’ve been here far longer than I expected. I’ve made a few rounds and even danced. It’s time to say hello to Charlie and hit the road. But I can’t find Charlie. I start searching all the places she may be hiding. I find her sitting on the floor in the back of a small conference room with a bottle of champagne that she’s drinking sans glass.
“You found me.” She pats the floor next to her. “Come sit.”
“What are you doing in here, party girl? Your big fancy bash is in the other room.” I hold my hand out to help her up. “Let me help you up.”
Shaking her head, she tucks her hands under her. “I’m not going back. I had a mental baby punch card. When the tenth person asked me when we were going to have a baby, I punched out and hid in here.”
I sit on the floor next to her. “If I had one more person ask me about my knee, I was going to kick them in theirs.”
She puts her head on my shoulder. “You forgive me for trying to push you and my asshole brother together?”
I lean my head against hers. “Of course. Things not going well between the two of you?”
She sniffles. “He was a complete asshole to me, and he still hasn’t apologized. We’ve never gone this long without talking. I feel like I’m losing him. To that bitch.” She picks up the bottle to take another drink, but I take it from her.
“You aren’t losing him. He can’t live without you. You’re just going through a strange time.”
Spencer pops his head in. “Oh, there you are!” He walks over to Charlie. “Come on, they’re about to bring out the cake.”
Charlie looks at him with pleading eyes. “Don’t make me go back in there.”
Spencer crouches in front of her. Smiling, he looks in her eyes. “Not even for cake. It’s crème brulee cake with caramel buttercream. From that bakery you love.” He tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. “I’ll protect you. You won’t have to answer another baby question for the rest of the night.”
Watching the two of them makes my heart swell and ache all at the same time. They are the perfect example of what love is supposed to be. Two parts of a whole, they’re best friends. There is nothing in the world they would not do to make the other happy. Their strengths and weaknesses complement each other. Despite the fact that they’ve known each other their whole lives, there’s still a spark in the air when they’re together. Over the years, they’ve seen each other’s worst moments and poorest behavior, and they still love each other without reservation. I’m so happy my best friend has that kind of love in her life, but I can’t help but take pause and wonder if I’ll ever find that.
She takes his hand. “With you by my side, I can do it. Just don’t leave me, okay?”
He pulls her to her feet. “Never.” Wrapping his arms around her, he pulls her in for a kiss.
I clear my throat. “Enough, you two. I’m going into sugar shock. You should get back to your party before people start to think you left to have a quickie.”
Spencer waggles his eyebrows
. “Not a bad idea, Aldrich. Don’t mind if I do.” He pulls Charlie in for another kiss.
Charlie giggles. “We should get back. Cake, then quickie.”
I roll my eyes. “You two are nauseating.”
Charlie hooks her arm through mine. “I know. Isn’t it wonderful?”
I sigh. “Yeah, it is.”
Spencer opens the door. “After you, ladies.”
On the way back to the party, we take a wrong turn and end up by the elevators that lead to the guest suites. “I think if we go this way, it’ll circle around,” Spencer says pointing to the left.
As we turn the corner, we hear quiet moaning and giggling. I’m stunned when I see Chase against the wall, kissing the wench who has weaseled her way into my family. I tug on Charlie’s arm. “I think we needed to go right instead of left. Let’s head back.”
Spencer clears his throat. Chase and Jenna pull apart. Teetering on her heels, Jenna struggles to stay upright. Obviously drunk, she snorts, then giggles. She covers her mouth. “Don’t mind us.”
Chase gives me an evil death glare. I flash the same expression back to him. If he wanted privacy, he should have taken his sexcapade to his room. But he seems to have a thing about kissing skanks in this hallway. Unwilling to stand here with him a second longer, I turn to Spencer and Charlie. “Great party, guys. I love you.” I kiss them both and walk away without acknowledging Chase or his date.
Charlie grabs my arm. “Don’t go. Stay, please.”
I smile. “It’s time to go.” I give her hand a squeeze, then walk away.
I hear Jenna ask, “Who was that?”
“That was my best friend,” Charlie answers. “I don’t think you’ve met.”
“She seems like a bitch,” Jenna replies “Who shoved the stick up her ass?”
“That would be Chase,” Charlie replies, then laughs at her joke
“Screw you, Charlie,” Chase slurs. I’ve never heard Chase speak to Charlie like that. What the hell is going on with him? He’s obviously drunk, but that’s no excuse. It’s just not like him at all. But then again, it’s been two years. Can I really say I know him anymore?
Hate to Love You Page 14