by S. Nelson
“Today, I find out if I’m going to be a daddy or not.” He has a cocky grin spread wide across his face and he’s doing a great job of not portraying his actual emotions. Does he want to be a father? Or is he hoping he isn’t? I can’t tell and I’m not about to ask him because he’ll never answer me truthfully. I just know it.
My focus is now on the good doctor. “Is this going to hurt?” I simply don’t know what to expect, and I’m a little afraid.
“I hope so,” I hear Drayden mumble from where he’s standing.
“Oh, go to Hell!” I yell over at him, not caring that we’re acting very inappropriate in front of Dr. Higgins.
“What is wrong with the both of you?” He raises his hand before either one of us can respond. “Never mind; don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.” He turns his body so he’s fully facing me. “No Essie, this is not going to hurt. It’s a simple blood test. That’s all.”
I physically relax. This is the first time I’m going through all of this, so I’m nervous about everything: about the changes my body is going to go through but worst of all, I’m petrified of actually having this baby. I’ve seen movies and heard my share of horror stories from girls I’d known who grew up in foster care with me. They said it was the worst pain they had ever experienced. It hurt so bad they were surprised the pain alone didn’t kill them. So, yeah, I’m a bit scared to say the least. And the fact I don’t have anyone to confide in about any of this is unnerving.
I can only hope Drayden will change his tune and come around more once he finds out this baby is actually his. That’s if he even wants it to be his.
Once Dr. Higgins is done drawing blood, he gathers up his stuff and makes his way toward the door. “The results will be back in a few days.” Making eye contact with Drayden, he says, “I’ll put a rush on it for you.”
“Thanks, Doc.”
“I’ll see myself out.” He turns back around toward me for a second. “I’ll see you in a couple weeks.”
I just nod.
Once he’s gone, Drayden stays planted right where he is. He doesn’t move. He doesn’t say anything; he just keeps staring at me. His face is devoid of any emotion. After about five minutes of him leering at me, I can’t take it anymore.
“What?” I grit out through clenched teeth. “Why are you still here? Do you want to ask me something?”
My little outrage snaps him out of whatever state he was just in, prompting him to walk over toward the edge of the bed where I’m sitting. “What are the test results going to reveal, Essie? Tell me.”
“You already know what the results are going to be, you ass. I already told you you’re the father.” I look away from him, trying to focus on the dumb reality show playing in the background. “And in a few days, you’ll realize I was telling the truth all along, and you kept the mother of your unborn child locked up like some kind of criminal.”
He steps closer, his legs practically brushing my own. “Ahhhh, but you are a criminal because you tried to—”
I cut him off before he attempts to beat a dead horse. “Blah, blah, blah, Drayden. I know! I tried to trick you. I tried to extort money from you. You think I tried to trap you with a baby, which by the way is not true at all.” I look up at his face, not afraid to speak my mind. “I get it already.” Looking back toward the television, I say, “But the great and powerful Drayden Warner played me at my own game. You didn’t let me get away with it, so let it go already.”
There are a few minutes of silence. I can see him out of my peripheral vision. He isn’t moving; he’s just staring at me, hands stuck in the pockets of his grey dress pants. When I do finally work up the courage to look at him, I can see his eyes are wide and his breathing has increased, causing his chest to rise and fall in short spurts.
He is beyond upset right now.
I laugh inwardly to myself, making sure not to smile. It’s taking all of my resolve not to bust out and laugh at him. I got to him. I angered him yet again. Good.
After another intensity-filled minute, he spins around on his heel and makes sure to slam the door on his way out.
Well, I guess he’s not going to let me out of here today, but I’m okay with that. The mere fact I was able to upset him that much does wonders for my spirit.
I can’t get the Cheshire smile off my face.
~~~~
Two days after Dr. Higgins drew my blood, the results are back. I am indeed pregnant with Drayden’s child. I knew it all along and now he knows it, too. He tells me the breaking news when he drops off my supper that evening. He acts as if it’s no big deal, as if he is merely discussing the weather or something, but I see it. I see the look in his eyes when he looks over at me. I’m not arrogant enough to say I know exactly what is running through his mind, because I don’t, but he looks like a man who has a tiny bit of pleasure and hope tightly restrained inside him.
{ Chapter 17 }
One evening, shortly after the test results came back, I find myself sitting alone in the library. Drayden isn’t home from work yet and to be honest, I don’t know exactly what time he will be. He doesn’t keep me up to date on anything he does or where he goes. For all I know, he’s out there sleeping with every woman he encounters. He hasn’t been to my room in that way since well over a month ago.
I’m so ensconced in the book I’m reading, I don’t even hear anyone enter the room.
“Well, who do we have here?” a booming voice rings out.
I’m so startled, my heart lurches into my throat. I drop the book on the ground, the thunderous sound echoing around the massive room. I look up to find there’s a stranger standing in the entryway of the library. His eyes are piercing me with wonderment as I sit here and stare at him, dumbfounded. There’s something about him so familiar, yet I have never laid eyes on him before. I’m instantly put on alert. I have no idea what his intentions are. Why is he here? Does he know Drayden? I’m not used to seeing anyone but the staff, and of course the man who keeps me hostage.
Once I get my wits back, I speak up, making sure not to show any weakness. Thank goodness I had the sense to actually get dressed this time. “Who are you? How did you get in here? What do you want?” Real smooth, Essie.
“Whoa. One question at a time, honey,” he says as he makes his way toward the other end of the couch I’m lounging on. I move my feet so he can sit down. This guy apparently has no issues interacting with complete strangers. He leans forward and extends his hand to me. “I’m Elvis Warner, but you can call me Eli.”
“How do you get Eli out of Elvis?” Yeah, out of all the questions I should ask him, that’s the one which comes out of my mouth.
He laughs.
“Well, I guess I picked the shortened version myself when I was growing up. I mean, come on, there was only one true Elvis.”
“I’m assuming you’re referring to Presley?” He nods. “What about Elvis Costello?”
“All right, all right. So there were two.”
I like him. He seems nice enough. He’s personable and engaging, something I’m not used to. Wait a minute. What did he say his last name is? Warner?
“Are you Drayden’s brother?”
“One of them, yeah. Actually, I’m his older brother; the oldest out of the family, in fact.” He looks me up and down, assessing my person, but not in a creepy way. It’s in a curious way. “You never told me your name, sweetheart.”
“Oh, sorry.” It’s at that moment I realize we’re still holding hands from his introduction. “My name is Essie. Essie Horton.”
“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Essie Horton. What are you doing here in my little brother’s house? He doesn’t bring anyone here. Hell, I’m lucky I can get in, and I’m family.”
I look away from his intense gaze, lowering my head until I’m staring at the pattern on my black and white sundress. “It’s complicated,” is all I can think to say.
He takes the hint and doesn’t pry any further. We sit for another hour or so
talking about books, movies and music. He’s so easy to talk to the time just flies by. I haven’t had this easy of a conversation with another person in I don’t know how long. Years? Ever?
Eli and I are sitting very close to one another, his arm resting on the back of the couch, just above my shoulders. To anyone else, we look like we’re in a relationship, or at the very least, interested in one other. But that isn’t the case; not from my perspective, anyway. Don’t get me wrong; Eli is extremely handsome. He’s well-spoken, has a really nice body-from what I can see tucked away underneath his suit-and seems to be a genuinely nice person. But dealing with one Warner brother is more than enough for me.
There’s a short, awkward silence which falls between us. When I try to speak to dissolve it and get back into the natural flow of our conversation, his words break it first. “So, Essie, do you think I can take you out sometime?”
Oh, no. I should have known this is where our little interaction was heading. I’m used to guys hitting on me, but I’m still surprised a bit just the same. I have to let him down easy without spoiling everything. Or maybe I should take him up on his offer. Yeah, it might actually piss off Drayden and I’m always all about doing that. Maybe I’ll skirt around the question, buying myself some time to figure out exactly what I want to do.
I’m good at playing every bit the part of the innocent, flattered girl, smiling at him and batting my eyelashes, even touching his shoulder. “Don’t you have a girlfriend, Eli?”
“No.” His answer is short and sweet. His sincere, green eyes are trying to read me, but I have my walls up. Maybe in another life, we could have started something, but I’m stuck in this life, and in this life there is no chance of ever going there. Not with him. Not with the brother of the man whose child I carry. But then again, I don’t want anyone else. I want Drayden, even though my logic screams at me how absurd that is.
“I’m sure you’re dating someone, aren’t you?” I don’t take him as a blatant cheater but then again, I hardly know him. And if he’s anything like his younger brother, he’s probably quite the womanizer.
“No one special at the moment.” He inches closer to me so his thigh brushes against mine, sending a shock through me. I’m physically attracted to him, of course. Any woman would be, but my mind is consumed by someone else. An arrogant, pain-in-the-ass someone else.
“You know,” I say, pushing his shoulder back with my hand in a playful way, “we girls are kind of fickle. When we’re getting dick on a regular basis from the same man, we kind of think we mean something to said man.” I look at him again, eyebrow arched. “Does she know you don’t feel the same way about her as she does about you?”
His eyes go big but he’s smiling. I press him again because he doesn’t answer me the first time. “Yes, she knows I’m not into getting serious with her.” Shaking his head and laughing, he gets up from the couch and makes his way over to the liquor bottles organized on the small corner bar. “I like you, Essie.”
“I like you, too, Eli. I haven’t had this much fun hanging out with someone in I don’t know how long.” We’re both lost in the rhythm of our innocent dance when we’re suddenly interrupted by a looming force standing just outside the door.
“What the hell is going on in here?” Drayden grits out between clenched teeth. He takes a few controlled steps inside the room, never taking his gaze away from me. He’s sneering and throwing daggers at me, as if it’s my fault his brother stopped by unannounced.
Eli catches the tension brewing between us and interjects, more so on my behalf, I’m sure. “Hey, little brother. What’s going on?” He walks toward Drayden, blocking his view of me for the moment. I breathe a sigh of relief. I don’t feel like dealing with his attitude right now. I was having an honest-to-goodness real conversation with his brother, and I’m upset he’s broken the playful banter between us.
Drayden doesn’t even bother answering his brother. Instead, he walks around him, reaches down and grabs my hand, pulling me up from the couch. He leans in close and whispers in my ear, “So help me God, if you don’t go to your room right now, you won’t come out for the next month.” I don’t respond. I don’t move. He’s actually freaking me out right now. I know he can be mean and a downright-arrogant ass, but there is something else laced in his words. There’s another kind of tension built up in his form, standing rigid before me. I can’t put my finger on it, but I know enough about this man not to push him right now.
“Fine,” I say back, more under my breath than anything. But before I leave, I make my way over to Eli and give him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. “It was a true pleasure meeting you tonight, Eli. And who knows, maybe I’ll take you up on that offer.”
“The pleasure was all mine, Essie. See you soon.”
I leave the library without so much as looking back at Drayden. I can hear him breathing hard, letting me know he’s really angry. I’m not sure why exactly, though. Maybe it has something to do with the fact I had been talking to one of his brothers, someone I could have told our secret to. Or is it the fact that someone else is paying me some attention? No, that can’t be it. He couldn’t care less about me; he wouldn’t care if another man was hitting on me. Maybe he’s protecting his brother, thinking I’ll try and pull the same stunt on him.
But little does he know, I’ve learned my lesson. My blackmailing days are over.
It’s only about a half hour later when my bedroom door comes flying open, hitting the wall behind it with a thunderous crash before it stops.
“What the hell was that all about, Essie? Huh? Tell me right now or so help me God…” He stalks toward me, a fire lit in his eyes. He is beyond livid, and I don’t even have a chance to ask him why before he pins me against the wall.
His mouth is so close to mine, his lips are almost brushing against my own. He smells of whiskey but it isn’t overpowering, so I know he probably either had a quick drink with his brother or had one right after he most likely kicked him out.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dray.”
“Don’t fucking call me that. Don’t act like we’re old friends. You are nothing but a conniving bitch who tricked me and is now carrying my child.” He wrestles with my chin so I have to look at him. “Now, tell me what that was down there with Eli.”
“I didn’t tell him anything. He just showed up all of a sudden. He was waiting for you so we started talking, waiting for you to come home.”
“He told me he asked you out. Is that the offer you think you’ll take him up on? Because I can tell you right now, there is no way in Hell you’re going anywhere with him, or anyone else for that matter. Ever!” He releases his hold on me, obviously satisfied he had his say.
But I’m not done yet. He isn’t going to continue to push me around forever.
“I’ll do whatever I damn well please, with whomever I please. You don’t own me, Drayden.” I make sure to say his full name this time.
I’m far enough away from him that he isn’t breathing down my neck, but my last statement earned me some more up-close-and-personal time. Grabbing me closer to his body, his heat mixing with my own, he really lets me have it.
Verbally, that is.
“You’re mine, Essie. Mine to do with as I see fit. My child grows in your belly, and I’ll be damned if someone else is going to fuck you with my son inside you.”
Son? What makes him so sure it isn’t a girl? Wait. I’m getting off topic. One situation at a time.
“Well, after the baby is born,” I stutter, “I can fuck whoever I want, as you so eloquently put it.” There, what is he going to say now? He most certainly can’t have any further claim over me once I give birth.
“That’s what you think. You belong to me now, Essie. Your life is mine. End of discussion.”
He walks away from me and is almost out the door when I fling a book through the air and catch him in the back with it before he can leave.
He stops short and whips around, looking at the
offensive item laying strewn on the floor. He’s surprised, but I don’t know why. I’ve smacked this man, even spit in his face, which I still regret. Why would he think I wouldn’t throw something at him in anger? I’m kind of disappointed he doesn’t know me a little better by now.
“Did you just throw that at me?” he asks in utter disbelief.
“No, the book flung itself off the table, hurdled through the air and made contact with your back all on its own. There must be a ghost in this room with me.” I’m shaking my head in annoyance because he asked me such a stupid question.
“Well, guess who’s not coming out of here for the next two days?” And with that, he slams my door and locks me in. I should be used to the sound of the deafening click by now, but it still makes me shudder each and every time.
I make a promise to myself right then and there that once I have this baby, I’m not going to stand for this type of behavior any more. Right now, there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. I have to do whatever he says. He has the upper hand and he knows it.
I lay down for the night, counting the days until I will be free again. Praying he’ll let me go after I give him the only thing he wants right now.
His child.
{ Chapter 18 }
I start to witness small changes in Drayden’s demeanor toward me when he’s dealing with my outbursts or breakdowns. He seems to be more patient and not so quick to lash out at me. A couple weeks have gone by since the night his brother came to visit--a night I’m sure etched in his mind as the start of his family finding out what was really going on behind closed doors. No, they won’t know the full story; that tidbit of information is to be kept between us. I’m not stupid enough to try and get his family on my side, a stranger’s side. I know enough about this man to know even though he is younger by society’s standards, he possesses enough wealth and power to get whatever he wants, hiding any and all secrets, even from his own family.
The thing I think changes some of his actions toward me is the fact that I’m starting to show. I have a small bump appear on an otherwise very flat and toned belly. He sees it one day when he comes into my room unannounced, as usual, and I’m walking out of the bathroom. Naked. I’m comfortable with my body, even with all the changes, so I don’t rush to cover up, always trying to entice him to take me again. I’m pathetic. I know. But I crave his touch and his attention, in any form apparently.