by S. Nelson
“Yes. Of course.” He senses my hesitation, but little does he know it has nothing to do with his proposal. Instead, it has everything to do with the results from the pregnancy test I took earlier today. All sorts of thoughts ran through my head when that line turned positive. I was baffled, really thrown for a loop. I really thought fate wouldn’t do this to me again. Do this to us again. I was angry at first, but after a couple hours of incessant thinking I was able to change my position, looking at the positive. For someone who wasn’t ever supposed to have children, he’s being given a second chance at this. We both are. But what if something happens? I don’t think I’ll be able to survive it again. I barely survived the first time. But as much as I’m worried about my own well-being, I’m worried about him even more. After everything I put him through, I think another devastation will crush him.
“Essie? Talk to me, honey. What are you thinking?” He forces me out of my own head for a brief moment.
I move away from him and rise to my knees, running my hands up and down my thighs in nervousness. He shifts as well, surely to brace himself for whatever is about to fly out of my mouth. I wish there was nothing else to discuss in this wonderful moment, other than him asking me to marry him. I long for that to be the only thing running through my mind, but it isn’t. It’s actually second-rate to what I’m about to tell him.
{ Chapter 42 }
Without even realizing it, I start to cry. At first, there are only a few stray tears of uncertainty dancing down my cheeks, but they are soon followed with many, many more. I believe Drayden thinks at first they’re tears of happiness, but he soon figures out that isn’t the case. The look in my eyes, one of pain and hesitation, wins out. He instantly rises from where he’s lying, reaches for me and draws me back down onto the bed. On top of his body.
“Baby, don’t cry. What’s the matter? Why are you so upset?” He’s running his hands all over my body and kissing the top of my head as I nestle into him. “Is it because you don’t want to give up your apartment?”
“Oh, my God, Dray, I wish that was the reason I’m so upset. It would make this so much easier to tell you.” I try to lift myself but he only tightens his hold. I let him comfort me for another minute before I break free of his persistent grasp.
“Okay, you’re starting to freak me out, Essie. What the hell is going on with you?” He runs his hand through his hair, making a few of the strands stick out in frustration. “Tell me now before I start to think the worst.” His voice deepens in his nervousness.
“I don’t know any other way to say this except to just blurt it out.” I lock eyes with him, waiting for something. Anything. A sign I shouldn’t be doing this right here and now. A hope that this is all a dream and I’ll wake up before the words leave my mouth.
But nothing comes. Nothing comes because this is my reality.
Our reality.
“I’m pregnant.”
Our eyes are still locked, but there is so much emotion passing between us, all without a flicker of a movement from either one of us.
It seems like forever passes before he says anything. I remain quiet because there is nothing else for me to utter which will top those two monumental words.
“Are you sure? How do you know?” He’s mirroring my stance now, sitting back on the heels of his feet, running his own hands up and down his strained muscular thighs. “But you’re on the pill. How is it even possible?”
“We didn’t use any protection the first time. You know, after we went to dinner and went back to my place.” Beads of sweat are forming at my temple.
His brows knit together, trying to remember exactly when I’m talking about. Then it dawns on him. “I remember.” His eyes lock on mine after a few minutes of looking everywhere else. “How long have you known about this?” he asks, waving at my stomach. Before I can answer him, he jumps off the bed and starts pacing back and forth right in front of me. “How far along are you? I still don’t know how this is possible, do you? How do you feel about all this?”
He peppers me with his incessant questions, unrelenting to the fact he’s making me upset all over again. His nervousness and uncertainty is stressing me out even more because nothing I can do or say in this moment will calm him down. I scramble off the bed and move toward him, but as soon as I make contact, he flinches away from me.
A look of anger and fear passes over him before he collects himself.
“Drayden,” I gasp before I start to cry all over again. Sobbing in front of him like this is one of the most humbling experiences of my life. Neither one of us knows how to help the other.
“Baby,” he soothes as he draws me into is body. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. Please, forgive me. I’m just…shocked. That’s all.” He reaches down and lifts my face toward his, wiping away as many tears as he can before kissing me tenderly. When he breaks the kiss he hugs me close again, whispering soothing and hopeful words into the air. “This is a good thing, Essie. It has to be.”
We retire to bed that night full of hope and fear, love and doubt. The last time this happened was because of a forced situation, but this time is so different. We both fear the worst possible outcome.
Will we lose this baby like we did Ethan?
~~~~
The next morning is a whirlwind of activity, mostly on Drayden’s part. He lets me sleep in a bit before waking me up. At first, I’m panicked because I slept right through my alarm and I’m late for work. But as soon as I calm down enough from my initial panic, he tells me he called Dela to let her know I won’t be in for the rest of the week because I’m resting.
He didn’t tell her about the pregnancy, thank God. I’m not ready to share the news with anyone yet; anyone other than Drayden, of course. And I was even hesitant about that in the beginning.
A lot of my fears are settled down from his reassuring words about this baby. He’s very happy about it and is comforting me at every turn, telling me how lucky we both are and that we should be nothing but over-the-moon happy.
It’s not until the middle of the day that I remember he proposed to me the night before, and I still haven’t given him an answer. I was so wrapped up in my own head with everything I totally dismissed his entire proposal.
Walking up behind him in the kitchen, I wrap my arms around his waist and kiss his shoulder blade. He turns his head to the side to look into my eyes. “Hey, baby,” he says before he twists a bit more and kisses my lips. When my tongue flicks out to run over his bottom lip, he drops the knife he’s making sandwiches with on the counter and turns completely around so I’m now pressed against his bare chest.
“Hi,” I say in response, my desire already set in motion. My hands make their way up and wrap around the back of his neck, pulling him in closer to me. I can’t get enough of his taste. Oh, I remember these hormones. The only difference this time is I’m sure Drayden will let me get my fill, over and over and over.
“Does someone want some lovin’ right now?” He laughs as he reaches down and grips my ass in his strong hands, pushing his very-erect arousal into me.
“I’m in desperate need for some lovin’; thank you for asking.” He grips me tighter and picks me up so I can wrap myself around him. He places me on top of the counter, pulling my night shirt up so it’s bunched around my waist. I’m not wearing any panties, so there is nothing standing in the way of this love fest happening right here and now.
“You drive me wild, woman,” he growls in my ear as he nips at my throat. “Do you know that?”
“Yes.” I put my hands on his chest and push him back so I can look deep into his blue eyes. He hasn’t shaved in a couple days and has quite the sexy scruff going on. I cup his beautiful face in my hands and run my fingertips over his jaw. “Yes,” I say again, causing him to knit his eyebrows in confusion.
“What are you saying yes to, Essie?”
“I’m saying yes to being your wife, Drayden. Yes…I will marry you.” The look which overtakes his features i
s so glorious it makes me smile just as wide, because I’m the person who makes it happen. He lifts me off the counter and twirls me around, causing me to cry out in surprise. But after the second time around, he quickly puts me on my feet, reaching down and running his hand over my belly.
“Are you okay?” He switches from ecstatic to concerned in the matter of seconds.
“Yes, silly. I’m fine. Maybe a little dizzy is all.” His face relaxes and he goes back to being happy, grinning from ear to ear.
“You have just made me the luckiest and happiest man in the entire universe, Essie.” He pulls me back toward him, linking his hands behind my back to secure me to him. “What did I do to deserve you?”
“Ask me that question when I’m as big as a house and hormonal as hell,” I laugh, holding on to his strong body.
As I’m about to say something else, he releases me, reaches over and grabs his phone. He dials the number so quick I can’t stop him. I think for sure he’s going to call someone from his family and tell them the news, but I’m wrong.
“Dr. Higgins. It’s me, Drayden. Listen, I need a huge favor. I need an appointment ASAP. Today.” He looks down at me and I break out in a smile. Leave it to him to not waste one precious second. “Okay, see you then. Thanks.” He hangs up the phone, leans down and kisses me again.
“Can I assume I have an appointment today?”
“You can assume right, my love. Two o’clock.”
I look over at the clock hanging on the wall above the sink. “Drayden!” I cry out. “That’s in like forty-five minutes.” I try to break free from his hold but he is unwavering. “Babe…please,” I plead. “I have to jump in the shower.”
“But I kind of like my scent all over you,” he says, pushing me back toward the counter again.
“Well, you can mark me when we get home. Fair enough?”
“I guess so,” he grumbles as he finally releases me. I start to make a mad dash for the bathroom when I hear him call out from behind me. “Don’t run.”
Oh, no. He’s going to be unbearable this time around. But after giving it a second thought, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
{ Chapter 43 }
The next two weeks fly by in the blink of an eye. The doctor confirmed I’m three months along, something which is an utter shock to me, since I thought I would have had some symptoms long before I actually did. But Dr. Higgins informs me each pregnancy is different; I can’t expect the same exact things to happen as last time. Just the mere mention of Ethan causes a few hidden tears to escape but I wipe them away quickly, knowing he’s looking down over his new brother or sister.
Drayden’s family is all over the wedding plans, too. He told me he wanted to marry me as soon as humanly possible and by his terms, that means in two weeks. I think he’s nuts. I mean, I don’t know the first thing about planning a wedding or how long stuff like this takes, but I know enough to know two weeks is impossible. But as soon as he enlists the help of his mother, Dela and Bridgette, I know it’s definitely going to take place as planned.
All three of them go with me to pick out the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen. The bodice is fitted then flared out at the waist, layers of white lace flowing all around me. His mother Vivian lends me the same pair of pearl earrings she wore, as well as Dela and Bridgette at their own weddings. It’s a tradition and one I’m only too happy to keep up.
We are to be married at Drayden’s house. His grounds are expansive, and they’re transformed into what I can only describe as a dream. There are tents set up to accommodate a very intimate guest list. I have no family or friends other than the Warners; they’re my new family, even before I’m officially welcomed in. Dela and Bridgette have really become like the sisters I’ve never had, and Vivian has taken on the role of not only my future mother-in-law, but my mother, in every sense of the word. She’s embracing and loving, showing me compassion and strength when I need it most. I really couldn’t have asked for a better family to marry into.
Drayden is only involved in the wedding plans when asked his opinion, which he gives readily. He knows better than to interfere with the likes of his mother and two sisters-in-law, so he keeps his mouth shut and offers a choice when asked. He knows I don’t have a clue about any of this stuff, but he wholeheartedly trusts his family, as do I.
~~~~
It’s turning out to be a beautiful Saturday, the glorious California day people always talk about. The sun is shining and there isn’t a cloud in the sky. The temperature is only supposed to reach a high of eighty-five, so it isn’t going to be too hot. It’s going to be perfect.
A perfect day for our wedding.
I’m in the back bedroom, the one I used when I stayed here originally, putting on the finishing touches when Vivian comes strolling into the room. She stops a few feet away and locks eyes with me, a look of love and concern plastered on her face. She’s making me a little nervous so I turn away from her as Dela finishes my hair. I decided to go with a classic up-do style, my chestnut hair wrapped up in all curls. Once my veil is adjusted, I’m ready to go, which is great since the ceremony starts in like twenty minutes.
My nerves were already misfiring all over the place, and Vivian is only making it worse by just standing there and not saying anything. As I’m about to ask her what’s wrong, she speaks up.
“Dela, Bridgette, can you please give me a moment alone with Essie?” They nod in her direction and immediately leave the room, leaving us alone together.
I turn, my hands folded in front of me, and stare back at her. For some reason, I feel like I’m about to get scolded or something.
“When were you going to tell me?” she asks as she moves toward me.
“Tell you what?” There is no way Drayden would break my trust and tell his mother about the baby. He promised we could wait until I feel more comfortable. When that will be, I’m not quite sure yet.
“Honey,” she says as she finally reaches me, placing her hand on my belly. “When were you going to tell me about my newest grandchild?”
I’m shocked. How does she know? Surprisingly, I’m not showing but for the faintest bump, but in this dress there is no way anyone will notice. The look on my face is what clinches it for me, telling all my secrets.
“How did you know?”
“A mother’s intuition. Trust me; you’ll have it, as well,” she says as she smiles, causing me to relax some.
“We weren’t going to tell anyone until…well, I’m not sure exactly when. I’m just so terrified something will happen again.” There are tears building behind my eyes as I speak to her, and I’m doing my best to hold them at bay. I don’t think it will ever become easier for me to talk about what happened with Ethan, without me getting all emotional and upset.
“Essie, you have to have faith that you and Drayden deserve this happiness. You cannot live in fear because if you do, you’ll miss out on all of life’s little treasures.” She gives me a quick hug but before she releases me, she says, “I won’t tell anyone. It’s not my place. But please know you are not alone in this, neither one of you.” And with that, she breaks our embrace and walks back out the door.
So much for my makeup staying in place.
Dela comes rushing into the room, knowing whatever conversation Vivian had with me was an emotional one. Little does she know it had nothing to do with my wedding jitters or being welcomed into their wonderful family.
“That woman sure knows how to make a girl cry, doesn’t she?” she asks as she reaches for a tissue from a nearby table, wiping the remnants of my emotions away. Thankfully, she fixes my makeup for me just in time.
“Essie, you ready?” Bridgette calls from outside the bedroom.
“Well, it’s now or never. How do you feel? Because you look like you are about to toss your cookies. Trust me, as soon as you get up there with him, everything will fade away and you’ll feel right at home.”
For once, I know my nausea isn’t being caused from the life growing ins
ide me.
I’m soon standing at the edge of the pathway, looking ahead at my future husband. Eli stands next to me, extending his arm for me to take. We both agreed it would be touching if Eli walked me down the aisle. He offered as soon as he heard, and even though it took a bit of convincing, Drayden relented and gave in. He’s still crazy possessive over me, but he knows his brother only cares for me as he does for Dela and Bridgette. And I’ve come to call him a good friend over the time I’ve gotten to know him. I wish he would find someone of his own, and do it soon; he’s too great of a guy to be all alone. Although, he’ll argue he’s hardly alone, something to which I’ll reply endless one-night stands don’t count.
“If you want to run, just let me know and we can high-tail it out of here, sweetheart.” He smiles at me as I turn toward him, trying to decide if he’s serious or just pulling my leg. He gives me a wink before tightening his hold on my hand.
“I think I’ll go ahead with marrying your brother,” I say as I smile back at him.
“Well, he’s one lucky bastard; I’ll tell you that much.”
We both chuckle, and it only intensifies when we glance at Drayden’s face which is now set in a grim expression. He’s watching the interaction going back and forth between us, and it’s clearly bothering him. If it wasn’t our wedding day, I would encourage Eli to continue with the banter, if only for the sole reason to drive home how ridiculous Dray’s reaction is to us. There is nothing for him to be jealous of, ever. He’s the only man who holds my attention.
He’s the only man who holds my heart.
Once we reach our destination, Drayden quickly takes my hand, pulling me away from his older brother. “Don’t make me regret this, man,” he says to Eli, shaking his head, all the while having a half-smirk on his face. Maybe he is getting better with his cave-man attitude.
We turn toward each other as the minister begins the ceremony, but I don’t hear anything he spews out. Instead, I’m all too consumed with the beautiful, intoxicating man who is standing directly in front of me. He’s quite the sight in his crisp, black tux, his hair styled in a sexy, tousled but controlled way. He’s clean-shaven for the occasion, a look which makes him seem a couple years younger than he actually is. And even though I’m getting used to him having a bit of scruff, this look is just as sexy.