by Lia Black
Kaidos heard them long before he saw them. Although they were not rabble-rousing, just the number of men and their equipment made enough noise for the soldiers' campsite to be easily found.
It appeared that they had set up camp quite a bit earlier, and Kaidos wondered just how long they had been here. Obviously not long enough to have seen him and Veyl ride past to Nesmithe, or else it might have been he who had been found hacked to bits instead of Lirin.
There were smaller tents for the soldiers and one central pavilion, all decorated with the distinctive gold and orange of Aaullsworthe. Torches illuminated the common area where a large bonfire was burning. The clearing wasn't very wide and so the undergrowth came up against the back of the campsite. Kaidos tied his horse a safe distance away and found a spot where he could listen to their conversations both in and outside of the tents.
Judging by the number of horses, there were at least seven men, including the guard captain, and those Kaidos had earlier seen were in full military dress as if they were going to war. Although that struck him as odd, he assumed it was either something done in an official capacity for show, or else they'd believed that Veyl had been captured by a small army.
There were two soldiers talking outside of a tent nearby, so Kaidos crept closer to listen to their conversation.
"How long is it going to take us?" The solder on the left asked.
The one on the right shrugged, "I suppose an extra day. Captain says he wants to be sure his charge is ready for the journey."
"Does anyone know what this is about?"
The man on the right shrugged again, "Captain just said we had to find this man—Veyl—and kill his captor. I would have thought it odd that he'd be given no trial, but after seeing…well, you saw it."
The one on the left had been wearing his helmet and he removed it, scratching his closely cropped hair. "Veyl...wasn't that the one from the Silver Tree Manor?"
Kaidos saw the other man give a nod of his head.
"Well, he's probably used to that kind of treatment," the soldier muttered, turning his helmet in his hands.
The one on the right sent a small hiss of air thought his teeth, "that don't make it hurt any less!"
His companion looked sheepishly down at his feet, kicking at something in the dirt with the toe of his boot. "Think he'll remember what happened? I mean he was drugged, right?"
"I don't know. I'm going to bed, thinking about him is making my ass hurt."
Kaidos felt a stone drop into his belly. Drugged? What in the name of the gods had Lirin done to him?
A soft moan from the pavilion drew his attention. It was the sound of someone in pain, and Kaidos knew without a doubt that it was Veyl. It was maddening, knowing that he was unable to see Veyl even when he was so nearby. Kaidos' chest ached and he fought back the lump rising in his throat.
"Shh," a second voice answered Veyl's desperate moan. Kaidos gritted his teeth, assuming it was Guard Captain Engel.
Another whimper from Veyl, then a sob. The sound lanced through Kaidos, aching to his bones. He would have given nearly anything to be able to hold Veyl and offer comfort.
"It's going to be all right, Veyl. That man who took you and hurt you is dead. Kaidos Vailinn is dead."
"Dead?" Veyl's voice was only a weak rasp. "Kai...No..." he began to sob softly.
"Do you have anything you can give him to help him sleep?" Engel asked someone else in the tent.
The voice that answered him was graveled by age, "I would hesitate to give him anything. With the amount of that poison in his system, he's lucky he isn't dead already. Why hadn't we been told about this earlier?"
Engel hushed the man and Kaidos heard the quiet swoosh and rustle of tent fabric as the men lifted the flap and left.
Kaidos moved closer to the tent and heard Veyl still sobbing softly.
"No...Kai...no...it's my fault..."
From the beginning, Veyl had never really wept for himself or his situation. Yet Kaidos felt his heart stagger when he realized Veyl was crying for him. So they must have known he'd been the one to kidnap Veyl somehow. He'd blame Lirin for telling Engel just like he'd told Adria's father, but Lirin was dead—obviously they had mistaken Kaidos' brother for him.
"I'll come for you." Kaidos whispered. Then he kissed his fingers and pressed them to the fabric of the tent, slipping away so he could get some rest and think about what he could possibly do to make things right.
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
Betrayal
Veyl had lost track of the last several days. Most of it had seemed like a nightmare, though his body told a different and much more troubling tale. Every joint ached, and everything between his knees and his waist had the lingering dull throb and sharp twinge that came from traumatic injuries trying to mend. Lirin had known better than to damage the merchandise to the point of destroying it--on the outside at least. Veyl had felt the stitches go in down below, but by that time the pain was almost welcome. It meant that the drug was finally leaving his system, and that someone was trying to put him back together. It meant that he was safe, and that he was going home. All of that should have filled him with joy, as should have seeing Ahrn Engel's handsome face, expressing concern at his bedside. But Veyl was numb. It was all he could be right now.
He didn't want Kaidos dead; Kaidos shouldn't be dead...Veyl had kept hoping that Kaidos would come after him. He'd kept thinking to himself, if Kaidos really loves me, he'll find me. Sadly, it seemed that he had, and he'd been killed when Ahrn came upon them. Kaidos must have found him and rescued him from Lirin, and because Veyl was not conscious, he couldn't tell Ahrn that Kaidos hadn't done this to him, that Kaidos would never hurt him. Ahrn was a reasonable man--he would have listened to Veyl and let Kaidos go. But that hadn't happened.
At one point--somewhere between his horrific nightmares and his waking pain--he'd thought he'd heard Kaidos' voice. He'd heard his spirit on the wind, or maybe it had all been a trick of his guilty mind.
"Awake finally. Can I get you something?"
A cool breeze came in as Ahrn entered the pavilion. Veyl tried out his voice to see if he still had one. "No. Not just yet." It was raspy and his throat felt raw. "How did you find me?"
Engel shifted uncomfortably where he stood and cleared his throat before answering.
"We were heading north on the main road. We heard you scream."
Veyl nodded. So he had screamed. He knew just when he'd screamed too, what Lirin was doing to him...Veyl squeezed his eyes shut and fought back the memory.
Engel took a step forward. "If only we'd gotten there sooner--"
"Don't. Please, Ahrn. It's over. Leave it be," Veyl took in a shuddering breath. His nightmares would serve him right after getting Kaidos killed. He swallowed back a sob, trying to turn his face into the pillow to hide his tears.
The guard captain nodded and came over to sit in the chair by his cot, waiting until Veyl could compose himself again. "I've been so worried about you." Engel lifted Veyl's hand and kissed the back of it lightly.
Veyl noticed abstractly that his own knuckles were raw and bruised. He looked away. "Will we be leaving soon?"
"Yes, as soon as you feel ready. I've brought you some clothes; I hope you'll forgive me that they're black." Ahrn chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood.
Veyl didn't respond.
Ahrn's smile faded and he rose from the chair, "I'll give you some time, please let me know when you're ready."
Veyl thought that he wouldn't be ready. Not for a long time. Maybe not ever.
He didn't think he could do it anymore. He couldn't smile at men whom he found repulsive. He couldn't laugh at the jokes that weren't funny or wink when men pawed him in the lounge. And he certainly couldn't let them use his body for their pleasure. Veyl sighed. He'd been a fool to leave Kaidos. Although it had been only a handful of days, in his lifetime Veyl could not remember spending so much time with the same person.
Veyl missed Kai, and knowing that he wa
s dead because of his actions made him feel nauseous. He stared up at the ceiling, his throat tightening until he could barely breathe, and let the hot tears burn tracks down his face. He fought back noisy sobs because he didn't want to be comforted by someone who couldn't understand just what a horrible thing he'd done. What he wouldn't give to see Kaidos here and alive; what he wouldn't give to be able to tell him he was sorry, over and over again.
After a few minutes of silent self-loathing, Veyl took a deep breath and stretched his aching limbs. It was impractical to stay here much longer. He had to go home to Aaullsworthe and convalesce. Talia and the others would understand that he'd be out of commission for some time while his body healed, and during that time, Veyl would figure out what he was going to do with what remained of his miserable life. Right now he didn't see very much in it that was worth sticking around for.
With another deep breath, Veyl raised his back, resting on his elbows. Sitting would be an adventure. Sitting on the back of a galloping horse would be even more so.
Black spots danced at the corners of his vision as he became light-headed from the exertion. He did need something to eat after all. The only issue now was how to get it; his voice was too weak and ravaged to call out to anyone. Then he noticed the bell on the small table near his head.
Ahrn and the physic came in when they heard it ringing, the former meeting Veyl with a smile.
"Hungry," Veyl said and let himself slide down onto his back again.
"That's very good," the physic said to Engel. "I'll have someone bring in something appropriate for him to eat."
Engel nodded to him in thanks then strode over to Veyl.
"Are you certain you're up to this? We can delay our leaving for a while yet."
"Ahrn, kiss me," Veyl said as Engel slid into the chair at his bedside. He was desperate to see just how much he meant to this man—he needed the reassurance as much as he knew he would receive none.
Engel's smile faded and his eyes shifted before returning to Veyl's face. "Veyl, you know that I want to, but I can't--not here."
"Afraid someone will see?" Veyl couldn't put on his coy, flirtatious smile as he usually would. It was another form of self-flagellation—punishing himself by asking the impossible from others. Still, it stung. Veyl covered the hurt with a layer of ice and arrogance.
"Veyl... Please. I know you understand. I do love you..."
"Just not where anyone might walk in and notice. Yes, I understand completely," Veyl responded evenly.
Had it been Kaidos there, the man would have shut him up and kissed him out of spite. But Engel just sat there looking tense and helpless. Something had changed, and Veyl was certain that it had been him--not Ahrn--who had been most affected by his abduction.
"You can at least help me sit up then, can't you?" Veyl huffed, piling on more haughtiness as he dug a trench around his heart.
"Of course." Engel helped Veyl sit up so that he was leaning on one side, putting the weight onto his hip rather than his bottom.
Veyl refrained from looking at his body. He didn't want to see indisputable evidence of what Lirin had done to him. Despite his promise to keep the damage hidden, there were bites that Veyl had felt like fiery claws tearing out hunks of flesh. The aphrodisiac Lirin had used was the type that intensified every sensation to the point that pain and pleasure became one in the same while it was active. Now that it had leached from his system, there was only pain.
"Would you mind getting me that clothing you brought?"
Engel nodded and rose from the seat at the same time the physic returned with a young soldier bearing food. The man appeared surprised to see Veyl sitting up as he approached him with a bowl of some sort of broth and a cup of water.
"You'll want to avoid solid foods for as long as you can." The physic said.
Veyl rolled his eyes. "Yes, I know the drill."
The soldier was still standing over him, holding the bowl and cup.
"Renswell, just set it on the chair, then you're dismissed." Engel said a bit harshly as he returned with the clothes.
"Sir, y-yes sir." The young soldier quickly set down his burdens and turned to give Engel a salute before exiting.
The physic came over with Engel, intent on giving Veyl an examination as he began to press and poke against various areas of Veyl's exposed skin.
"You've had plenty of time to do that while I was sleeping. Now, if you don't mind, I would like to eat. Otherwise, you're going to have to pay me like everyone else."
The physic drew back and looked at Engel who offered a shrug, "I think he's fine for now."
Over the rim of the bowl, Veyl's eyes followed the older man until he disappeared beyond the tent flap. Then he looked up at Ahrn. There was that damn apprehensive smile again. He was used to Ahrn being cautious in Aaullsworthe, but this was downright tentative and it annoyed him to no end.
"Will you at least help me dress?" Veyl sighed, setting down his empty bowl.
"Yes." Ahrn shook out the garments he was carrying--black robes and a gray hood and cloak.
Veyl's frown set a deep vee into his forehead, "You weren't kidding about them being black. Am I in practice to be a monk?"
Ahrn chuckled, "Sorry, it was the best that I could do... I was in a bit of a hurry to see you safe."
Veyl's features softened for a moment, then he reminded himself where they were and what Ahrn thought any sign of affection between them would do to his career.
"Thank you." For what he was thanking Ahrn, he wasn't sure. He should have been grateful for being rescued, but he couldn't get over the fact that Kaidos had been killed. He didn't think that Kaidos would try to fight--a small group of motley bandits was one thing, but Kaidos was smarter than to take on a military unit. And Ahrn was not the kind of man to kill without provocation or a direct order from a very high authority.
Veyl raised his arms as high as he could until the muscles protested and his ribs balked. It wasn't very high, his hands only just cleared his head, but Engel rolled the robe so that he could easily feed everything through the right holes.
"You said you killed Kaidos?" Veyl asked softly.
"Yes."
"Why?" He felt no blame, just a genuine curiosity.
Engel pulled down the body of the robe so it pooled in Veyl's lap. His face was a mask of concentration as he did so, but he looked into Veyl's face as though surprised by the question. "Because it had to be done."
Veyl nodded. He'd find no real answers here, and wasn't certain he wanted to hear about the final moments of the life of Kaidos Vailinn.
*~*~*
It was beginning to rain when they left the campsite. The sky was so gray that there was not even a hint of the sunrise. Veyl was now happy for the hood to keep the rain off of his face as he made his way outside. While he'd dressed, he'd still refrained from looking at his body. The pain was reminder enough.
He would be riding sidesaddle in front of Ahrn, allowing him to rest on one hip and lean into him if needed. Veyl wondered if this was Ahrn's way of stealing some affection. While the notion was sweet, the reality kept creeping in. Ahrn didn't want him and Kaidos was dead. And having Ahrn treat him like he was a piece of expensive pottery wasn't helping, either. Veyl understood that Ahrn was concerned about his health and comfort, but he would have preferred actual compassion to this coddling.
Ahrn mounted his horse first, and two men easily lifted Veyl to settle in front of the guard captain. He found it odd that they were leaving with two soldiers, while the others remained behind, not making a move to break camp.
Veyl quirked his mouth as they left the campsite behind, perplexed. He looked up from beneath his hood at Ahrn, who was staring solidly straight ahead.
"Ahrn, why are they staying behind?"
"We'll be meeting up again later." Arhn said without looking at Veyl.
It was as oddly uninformative as the answer he'd given about Kaidos' death, and none of it was sitting well with Veyl. There was something else g
oing on; something else that was happening to make a man who'd often sworn love to him suddenly grow so cold.
"This damnable rain," Ahrn muttered, perhaps as an attempt at conversation.
Veyl giggled nervously, a tremble to his voice, "Ah, the first sign and last resort of a dying love: talking about the weather."
Engel looked stricken beneath the brim of his helmet. His eyes darted to the left and right at the backs of the two solders ahead of them.
"Oh Ahrn, they're not going to hear you breaking up with me," Veyl sighed and rolled his eyes. He was playing up the arrogance because it was his only viable defense at the moment. Inside he felt pieces of himself breaking away; Lirin's torture, Kaidos' death, and Ahrn's indifference were creating huge cracks in his once solid ivory tower. It was something he'd built over the years to contain his heart and rise above it all. But it was coming down, and Veyl didn't know how much more it would take until it was just a pile of rubble.
*~*~*
They'd been riding for a little over two hours when Veyl saw them coming up on a familiar little village. It was Nesmithe, the place where he'd run away from Kaidos.
"You call yourself a guard captain," Veyl laughed, "and you don't even know that you're heading in the wrong direction!"
Ahrn looked down at him briefly, on his face an apology, and Veyl understood that it was no accident. The blood drained from his face and pooled as a burning mass in his stomach. This couldn't be happening. Ahrn was not taking him home, but taking him on to Dandre.
"Men, we're going around!" Engel called to his soldiers. They made a wide arc around the walls of the village rather than riding through it. A village full of curious residents would seriously hamper their journey as Veyl made his displeasure of the situation plainly and violently known.