by Rhian Cahill
Damn. Z was right. She’d used their past behavior to change the topic. Rand couldn’t blame her. They were all treading on some dangerous ground. He figured the best thing to do now would be to let it lie for a while. Let Sunnie stew on it for a few days before bringing it up again.
“Look, forget I said anything. Let’s just watch the movie and enjoy a couple of beers.” He stood up and stretched. “I’ll grab us all a refill. Z, you clear away the boxes.”
“But…” Sunnie stood still as they moved around her.
“Relax, Sunshine. It’s just three friends spending Friday night watching some daggy old movie,” Rand said.
Rand collected their empties and Sunnie’s half full one. He left the room with Z right behind him. Neither of them spoke until they were in the kitchen, out of Sunnie’s hearing.
They spoke in unison.
“What brought that on?”
“I kissed her.”
There was a heartbeat of silence.
“Wait. You kissed Sunnie? When?” Z asked.
“When you left the room to take your call.”
“Why?”
“Why?” Rand shook his head as he tipped the rest of Sunnie’s beer down the sink. “I can’t believe you asked that. I don’t know how it happened. One second we were talking about her crummy date and the next my hand was cupping her face and my mouth was on hers.” He tossed the bottles in the recycle bin.
“Good?”
“What do you think?”
“I think it smashed the wall holding you back and that’s why you brought up sex. I’ve been feeling my own wall beginning to crumble recently, too.”
“No. The wall—the pact—still stands. I was suggesting a loophole.”
“A threesome?”
Rand stared at his best friend in disbelief. “What did you think I was talking about?”
“Sex.” Z rubbed a hand over his chin. “Then again, now that I think about it with a little more blood in my brain, you can’t be talking about much else, can you?”
“No.”
“Were you serious?”
“About sharing her? Yes.” Rand pulled open the fridge and grabbed three beers. “I’ve never thought about it before tonight. Don’t really know why I’m thinking that way now. Other than that strange sharing comment she made earlier, none of us have ever voiced our interest in a physical relationship, but the more the idea circles in my head the more I want to make it happen.”
“We’re walking on quicksand.”
“I know, but I can’t say I’m sorry I brought it up.” He passed a bottle to Z.
“Thanks.” Z cracked the top open. “What now?”
“Leave it. You know what she’s like. She’ll mull it over for a while before she decides anything.”
“Yeah, but she’s never dated anyone who hasn’t badgered her into it. You think this will be different?”
Rand thought about it for a moment. “Yeah, I do.”
“Why?” Z asked. “How can you be sure she won’t just forget about it like every other guy who’s asked her out once?”
“Because we’re different.”
Z couldn’t concentrate on the movie. Not when the conversation with Rand was stuck on continuous replay in his head. As much as he tried he couldn’t help but wonder: were they different? They’d never treated Sunnie as anything other than a friend and housemate. Even gone out of their way to be sure there was no hint of sexual attraction between them, the risk of complicating—or worse—destroying their friendship always hanging over their heads. He and Rand had always been on the same page where Sunnie was concerned. Nothing and no one should be allowed to hurt her—including them.
For as long as he’d known her, one thing had been crystal clear. Sunnie wanted the whole happy ever after deal, complete with Prince Charming, white picket fence and two kids, preferably a boy and girl. He couldn’t blame her. No child grew up with three fathers and an indifferent mother without scars, and Sunnie’s were in her obsession to be normal. But over the years Sunnie had proven her propensity for dating assholes—as if she subconsciously chose them on purpose. Her mother’s eccentric life and sporadic interest had scarred Sunnie deeply, and Z often got the impression Sunnie felt herself unworthy of love.
It wasn’t until he’d taken a psychology class at university that he really began to understand what motivated her. She never dated anyone who didn’t put in a huge effort to gain her attention only to turn the tables and suffocate the guy once she accepted his interest. Z couldn’t count the number of times he and Rand had propped her up after another loser had broken her heart.
Or more accurately, shattered her dream of falling in love and living the perfect life.
With Sunnie’s unusual parentage you would expect her to be more unconventional in her attitude, but she never did anything that could be considered risqué. She almost hadn’t moved in with them because sharing a house with two guys bordered on out of the ordinary in her eyes. He smiled at the memory. It had taken weeks to talk her into it. Weeks of bribing and begging, but finally she’d caved. Of course it had helped that her flatmate at the time had moved out and Sunnie couldn’t afford the rent on their inner-city apartment on her own. And it didn’t hurt that they promised to let her redecorate the place.
In five years there hadn’t been a serious argument between them. The occasional squabble over who left the wet towel on the bathroom floor didn’t count. Except there was that small thing of them taking advantage of her. When the last woman Rand had broken up with had pointed out neither of them needed a woman when they already had a wife in such a nasty way, Z had at first taken offense, but then he’d really thought about it and hadn’t liked what he’d discovered about the way he treated Sunnie at all.
Weeks of mulling over the issue had brought him to the conclusion that he needed to not only pull his weight around the house, but also do things for Sunnie like she did for him. Rand had agreed with him when Z had brought the subject up and, rather than say anything to Sunnie, they simply became better housemates. Of course Sunnie knew them too well and smelled a rat. At least she hadn’t dug too deep into the reason for the change. She didn’t need to know the full details of Melody’s accusations. Staring sightlessly at the television, Z swallowed the last of his beer.
“Anyone want another one?” he asked as he got to his feet.
“Sure. I’m almost done.” Rand tipped his bottle to his mouth.
Z looked at Sunnie and tried not to laugh, but he was fighting a losing battle. She’d fallen asleep, her head at a weird angle and the beer in her hand in danger of spilling in her lap. He reached over and plucked the bottle from her hand. She didn’t stir.
“She’s out cold,” he said.
Rand glanced over at her. “I knew I shouldn’t have let her open that last one.”
“Oh come on, she hasn’t had that many.” Z placed his and Sunnie’s bottles on the table.
“Four is too many for Sunnie and you know it.” Rand stood. “Better get her into bed.”
“I’ll do it. You took care of her last time.”
“That’s because you were just as shit-faced.”
“Hey, we were celebrating.” Z recalled they’d polished off a whole bottle of tequila that night.
“Dumping your latest bimbo isn’t cause for celebration, Z.”
“It most certainly is when the woman was out picking rings without my knowledge.” He leaned over to slide one arm under Sunnie’s legs and the other under her shoulders. “Escaping hell is always worth a party.”
Rand laughed. “You weren’t thinking that way before she went jewelry shopping.”
Z shrugged. “What can I say? She was good in the sack.”
Sunnie mumbled as he lifted her off the couch. He shushed her with nonsense words whispered into her hair. Z nodded in the direction of her room and waited for Rand to go first. Careful not to bash her head or feet into any walls, he followed his friend down the hall to Sunnie’s room. A
fter Rand pulled back the quilt on her perfectly made bed, Z placed her on the clean sheet.
“Should we take her dress off?” Rand asked. It wouldn’t be the first time they’d stripped a drunk Sunnie of her clothes and put her to bed, but after their earlier conversation Z didn’t think it’d go down too well with her this time.
“You want to explain in the morning if we do?”
“Ah, no. Guess we’ll just cover her up then.”
“Yep.” Z grabbed the bedding and gently covered Sunnie.
“Still up for another beer?” Rand asked as they walked out of the room.
“Sure.” Z glanced at his watch and laughed. “It’s not even ten o’clock.”
“I know. That’s our Sunshine, the last of the party animals.” Rand headed for the kitchen. “Are you really going to drag her out of bed in the morning?” he asked as he pulled two beers from the fridge.
“She agreed to come with us.” Z took the beer his mate offered.
“Yeah, but she was onto the fourth beer by then.”
“A promise is a promise,” Z said with a smile as he walked to the lounge room.
“Shit. I hope the waves are good ’cause she’s gonna kill us.”
“By the time she’s awake enough to do that we’ll be in the water far out of reach.” He cracked the top on his beer and took a swig.
“I bags not getting her up then.”
“Fine, you load the boards in my truck and I’ll drag Sunshine out of bed.” Z propped his feet up on the coffee table. “What time do you want to leave?”
“Sunrise is five thirty-nine. If we leave here at five we’ll be in the water by five thirty.”
“What’s the swell?”
“Four foot.” Rand took a sip of his beer. “But that’s only if the storm moving up the coast continues at the same speed. If the winds pick up we’ll get about six before the bad weather hits.”
“Nice either way.” Z took another mouthful of beer. “So, Sunnie.”
“Mm, what about her?”
“We’re going to do this?”
“If it’s what she wants.” Rand tapped the bottle against his chin. “I still think we should let her stew on it a few days, possibly even weeks before mentioning it again.”
“I don’t think we should wait that long. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think we should push it either, but I think we need to keep it at the forefront of her mind.”
“We are not going to be like all those SOBs that couldn’t take no for an answer,” Rand said.
“No, we’re not. But we’re also not going to be like all those saps that got knocked back once and tucked tail.”
“It’s a fine line.”
Z grinned. “Yeah, but we’ve both got excellent balance.”
Rand laughed. “That we do, that we do.”
“It probably helps that we’ve both got thick heads too.”
Rand looked at him. “Why?”
“So it won’t hurt as much when she bashes them together.”
Chapter Three
The sun, barely over the horizon, lacked heat but Sunnie had no doubt it would be a regular summer scorcher before midday. Luckily she’d be long gone before it got too hot or the crowds arrived to fill Sydney’s most famous beach. She couldn’t believe Rand and Z had talked her into joining them for their early morning surf. Not that she planned to catch any waves—she’d leave that to them—she was more than happy to lie back on her towel and enjoy the sight of all the die-hard surfers riding the waves in their clingy board shorts and bare chests. Not to mention Bondi’s yummy surf lifesavers.
“Hey stranger.”
Lifting her eyelids Sunnie glanced up the beach and saw her friend Piper coming toward her. “Hey, been a while.”
“It has. And imagine my surprise to find you gracing the sand this early in the day.” Piper spread her towel out beside Sunnie and sprawled on top.
Sunnie grinned. “Yeah, I know. But they caught me at a weak moment.”
Piper glanced her way, one delicate eyebrow arched.
“Rand and Z took advantage of my drunken state last night.”
Her friend sat bolt upright. “Really?” Pip’s smile spread from ear to ear, almost splitting her face in two. “Do tell.”
Sunnie laughed and pushed herself up to sit. “Not that kind of advantage.”
Piper sighed. “Shame. Getting caught between those two would be…” She shuddered.
“Piper!”
“What?”
“You’re living with not one, but two gorgeous guys, and you’re thinking of Rand and Z that way.”
Piper laughed. “Don’t worry, it’s my boys I’m picturing not yours.” She eyed Sunnie. “You know I can’t believe you’ve never thought of going there.”
Sunnie turned to look at the shore. “They’re not mine. They’re my best friends. I’ve never thought about them that way before.”
“Before?” Piper asked.
“You know what I mean.”
“No, no, I don’t think I do. There was something different in the tone of your voice this time. Every other time you’ve used the best friends protest I believed you.” Pip placed her hand on Sunnie’s arm. “What gives, Sunnie?”
With a sigh, Sunnie pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around her shins. Staring at the waves rolling in, she tried to figure out what to say.
“Did something happen?” Piper asked.
“No. Yes. But not what you’re thinking or hoping for.” Sunnie tried to sort her thoughts into order. “Let’s see. My date was a rat bastard. Rand checked out my boobs and got a boner when he hugged me. I nearly kissed Z. Rand kissed me then suggested we’d all click when it came to sex. They finally both admitted to wanting to get in my pants since high school.”
“Whoa. Wait. Slow the fuck down.” Piper shook her head. “Let’s start with the perving and boner. We’ll ignore the rat bastard. They’re never worth rehashing.”
“You said it. But then it was the rehashing of the rat bastard that led to the other two.”
“Interesting segue.”
Sunnie shrugged. “Not really. I was wearing a dress that emphasized the girls, so the perving was more a guy reflex I think. And the boner came when Rand tried to stop me from crying over my disastrous love life.”
“The only disaster is your choice in dates, Sunnie. You’re looking everywhere but right under your nose. But let’s get back to the good stuff.” Piper leaned closer. “What happened with the almost-kiss with Z?”
“I don’t know how to explain it. There was this charged moment and I realized I wanted to kiss him.”
“How’d you get to the charged moment?”
“We were wrestling for the TV remote.”
“Ah, body contact. What about the actual kiss with Rand?”
“That came later. We were talking one minute and then he was kissing me. It was over before it really started, but…”
“But what?”
“I don’t know.” Sunnie shrugged. “I don’t understand any of it.”
“So how did the subject of sex come up? That’s a big leap from a quick kiss to sex.”
“Again I’m at a loss. I can’t seem to get my head around it, never mind explain it to you.”
“Okay, let’s try it this way. How did the kiss make you feel?”
Sunnie tried to remember all the emotions that had churned inside her after Rand’s kiss. “Disappointed. Aroused. Scared.”
“And the idea of the three of you having sex?”
One thing Sunnie had always admired about Piper was her honesty and fearlessness. She just wished she had a smidgen of either—she might not feel so uncomfortable talking about last night if she did. Then again, it all came down to choices, didn’t it? If she chose to be honest and brave, she would be. “Terrified and excited.”
“But not disgusted?”
“What?” Sunnie whipped her gaze away from the water to meet Piper’s. “No. Never. God. I have thought of them
and sex before. Shit, you’d have to be dead not to notice how hot they are. But I’ve never gone there for more than a second. And I’ve never thought of them…together.”
Once she started Sunnie couldn’t stop the flow of words.
“I’ve wished on more than one occasion that I could fall for one of them, but they’re my best friends. I can’t think of one without the other, so how could I ever choose between them?”
“Who said you have to choose one over the other?”
Sunnie laughed, a sharp bark of sound that held no real mirth. “Piper, living in a three-way relationship may work for you, but it’s definitely not the norm.”
“Neither was being gay a few years ago. Now look how far the world has come.”
Mouth gaping, Sunnie stared at her friend.
“Oh come on, do you really think we’d be where we are today if everyone followed what was acceptable? Think of all those explorers who sailed off in search of new lands that others said didn’t exist. And what about the astronauts determined to walk on the moon.” Piper placed her hand on Sunnie’s shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. “The sky’s the limit and the sky is endless, Sunnie.”
“But—”
“No buts. Go for what you want.”
“I don’t know what I want,” Sunnie moaned.
Piper pulled her into a brief hug. “Yes you do. You just have to be honest and admit it.”
“I’ve spent my whole life trying to live down my parents and the whole three-fathers-one-mother thing. Done everything, including changing my name, to be normal, and now I’m going to throw all that away by pursuing my two best friends.” Sunnie pulled her knees tighter against her chest and rested her forehead on top. “God. I just basically admitted I want to do this.”
Piper chuckled and patted Sunnie’s back. “Yes you did, and you can bet your next paycheck I’m not going to let you forget it.”
“Some friend you are.”
“Let’s see if you still feel that way after the dust settles.”
Sunnie lifted her head and laid her chin on her knees. She watched as Rand and Z waded out of the surf. Their bodies glistened in the morning light, their leg muscles flexing with each step. Rand’s height and bigger build moved with purpose, while Z’s slightly smaller frame had a relaxed, almost lazy motion. Warmth pooled in her lower belly, her nipples hardened, and her sex clenched. Damn. Now that she’d let herself think about them in a sexual way her body was raring to go. Taking a shuddering breath, she turned to Piper.