by Rhian Cahill
Pushing up on shaky limbs, Z pulled from Sunnie’s still pulsing body and fell to the side. His chest heaved and his lungs stung as he gasped for air. He turned to look at Sunnie. Rand lay on her other side, his head propped on one hand while the other hand glided up and down her spine in sweeping caresses. She faced Z, eyes closed, with lashes spiked with moisture. He reached over and ran his fingertip through the wetness.
“Sunshine?” Z traced his finger over the bridge of her nose to her other eye.
“Mmm…” Her eyelids fluttered open to reveal pools of swimming blue.
“You’re crying?” he asked.
“What?” Rand leaned over to see her better.
She smiled the most serene smile Z had ever seen. “Don’t panic. I’m not crying.”
“But?” Z swiped at the liquid beneath her eye.
“Did we hurt you?” Rand asked as he gripped her chin and tipped her face up.
“No.” She licked her lips. “Neither of you hurt me.”
“Then why are you crying?” Z asked.
“It’s a physical reaction to the mind-blowing orgasms you both gave me.” She cupped his jaw in her hand. “I can’t explain it. It’s never happened to me before, but I’m not in pain or sad. Far from it.”
Z searched her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief when he realized she was telling the truth. The thought of hurting her tore into his heart. He’d never forgive himself if he caused her pain—physical or emotional. “You’d tell us if we did hurt you, right?”
Sunnie ran her thumb along his bottom lip, causing a tremor to roll down his spine. “You’ll be the first to know.”
“So are they happy tears?” Rand asked.
Her gaze left Z and moved to Rand. “Mmm, yeah, that’s probably the best way to describe them.”
“You don’t sound convinced.” Z said.
She brought her gaze back to his. “That’s because I’ve never felt like this before. Happy doesn’t even begin to cover it.”
Z’s chest puffed up at her comment.
Sunnie yawned. “Jeez, you guys wore me out. I’m just gonna lie here a while.”
He leaned forward and brushed his lips on hers before pulling back. “Take a nap. I’ll go down and get dinner started.”
Her hand snapped out and grabbed his wrist. “No. Don’t go. Stay with me.”
“It’s getting late. We should start getting dinner organized,” Rand said.
“Not hungry.” Sunnie yawned.
Z laughed. “You will be when you wake up.”
“Don’t care. Stay.” Another yawn. “Both of you.”
He combed the hair from her face with his fingers. “Okay, for a little while.”
“No. Not a little while.” She moved into Z’s touch, wiggled backward until she pressed her body into Rand’s and murmured, “Forever.”
Chapter Seven
Z picked up the first steak and placed it on the hot grill. He couldn’t get Sunnie’s plea out of his head. Forever. That one word had choked him up good. He’d love nothing more than spending forever with her and Rand, but he wasn’t sure she even knew she’d let the request slip. She’d come downstairs about ten minutes ago, dressed in the sweatpants and top he’d packed for her. It wasn’t cold, so he couldn’t help thinking she felt the need to cover up—hide.
During their lovemaking—and it was making love, no matter how raw and primal the encounter had been—emotions had played a major part in every move, and the whole thing had been overwhelming. The blind rush of desperate need to have a woman, the need to take all she was, had never been a part of sex before. Not for him. Not even with the women he thought he’d loved. Nothing compared to the depth of feeling Z had for Sunnie.
She remained quiet, sitting in a deck chair with her legs tucked up underneath her, staring out at the water. The predicted storm hadn’t arrived yet, but Z noticed dark clouds moving in from the south as he turned the steaks. In another few minutes the meat would be ready to come off the barbecue. Rand walked over and offered him a beer. They sipped and watched as the day dulled with the setting sun and the coming storm.
“Should we be worried?” Rand murmured, tilting his head in Sunnie’s direction.
Z glanced over at her. “I’m not sure.”
“She hasn’t said a word since she declined a drink.”
“I know.” Z brought his gaze back to his friend. “But I can’t think of anything to say that won’t send her screaming from the house.”
Rand looked at him. “What do you want to say?”
He sighed. “That I love her.”
“Jesus, thank God.” Rand dropped his head and stared at the timber decking. “I thought it was just me.”
“No.” Z smiled ruefully. “There’s definitely two of us feeling it. But I don’t know about Sunnie.”
Raising his head, Rand looked Z in the eye. “Do you honestly think she would have agreed to any of this if she didn’t love us?”
Z shook his head. “No. But she’s always loved us, Rand. The question is will she risk being in love with us.”
Rand blew a breath out through his lips. “Damn. This isn’t going to be easy, is it?”
“The best things are worth fighting for.”
“We’ll never win if she fights against us.”
“Sure we will.” Z smiled as he moved the meat from the grill onto a plate. “It’s two against one.”
Rand’s bark of laughter had Sunnie looking in their direction. Z held the plate of meat as he switched off the burners then headed inside.
“Dinner’s ready,” he said on his way through the door.
Z placed the steaks on the table as he passed on his way to the kitchen. He pulled the salad from the fridge and grabbed the bottle of red wine he’d left breathing on the counter. Returning to the dining area he found Rand helping Sunnie into a chair. She picked the smallest piece of meat and put it on her plate before drowning it in ketchup.
“Jeez, Sunnie, do you have to ruin a good piece of steak like that?” Rand asked as he sat.
She shrugged but didn’t utter a word. Instead she sliced into the meat and popped a bite into her mouth. Z watched with amusement as she proceeded to cut her steak into bite-size portions. Smiling, he focused his attention on his own meal and tried to come up with a neutral topic of conversation. But nothing broke through the swirl of thoughts currently spinning in his mind. The main dilemma was convincing Sunnie that what they offered could fit the happy-ever-after mold, even if it was a misshapen one.
He continued to mull over ideas as he ate. Bite after bite went in his mouth and down his throat, but he tasted none of it. And the wine was nothing more than a way to wash down the food. Rand tried to get Sunnie talking, but her answers remained minimal. Z wondered if she regretted going to bed with them. When she placed her knife and fork together on her plate that was over half full, he really began to worry.
“Are you okay, Sunshine? You’ve hardly eaten a thing,” Z said.
“Not really hungry.” She pushed her chair back, picking up her dish and glass as she stood. “I’ll start washing up.”
Z watched her walk away, the sway of her hips drawing his gaze. When she reached the kitchen he turned to Rand. “I don’t know how to snap her out of the daze she seems to have fallen in. Do you think she regrets what happened?”
“I’m leaning more toward kicking herself for enjoying it so much.” Rand shrugged. “She’s a little embarrassed by it, I think. She hasn’t looked either of us in the eye.”
“Hmm, I guess we could give her some space.” Z glanced over at Sunnie. “But she’s not going to be happy when we all pile in the same bed tonight.”
“Maybe we can pull her out of her funk before then.”
“Any idea how?”
“How ’bout we find something funny to watch from Gabe’s collection? Lighten the mood a bit.”
“Good idea. You help her with the dishes, and I’ll set up a movie.”
“Oh no, your
movie choices are shit. You do the dishes. I’ll get the movie ready.” Rand stood. “Do you think Gabe has any microwave popcorn in the cupboard?”
“Don’t know. I’ll check. He usually has the place pretty well stocked.”
Z stacked the plates and took them to the kitchen. He scraped and rinsed before handing them to Sunnie to load in the machine.
“Rand’s picking a movie for us to watch.” He tried to engage her, but she wasn’t having any of it.
“Okay.”
He sighed. It was going to be one long-ass night if they couldn’t snap her out of this weird mood. Heading back to the table for the wineglasses, he prayed they’d find a way but he wasn’t averse to using their sexual chemistry and trying to seduce her out it. The thought sent a tingle down his spine and tightened his balls. Regardless of this setback, Z was still optimistic they could make this three-way relationship work. They just needed time to adjust to the newness of their physical connection.
Sunnie knew she was behaving strangely, but she couldn’t help it. They’d given her more than great sex. The physical side of their encounter was the easiest part to understand and get her head around. Both of them were skilled lovers and weren’t afraid to use their knowledge, but neither of them had held back their emotions while sending her through the roof with pleasure. That was the bit she couldn’t wrap her mind around. While they’d each taken her with a feral need she’d never experienced before, she hadn’t felt used. Just the opposite. She’d felt loved—cherished. And now she was awash with conflicting emotions.
The whole shift in their relationship overwhelmed her. No one loved her unconditionally except her fathers, and that was such a tangled web of emotions that even at twenty-seven Sunnie hadn’t come to terms with having the three men in her life. Her mother, on the other hand, had taught her that everything, including love, came at a price. One of Phoebe’s favorite nuggets of wisdom was nothing is ever free. With Phoebe everything came with strings and expectations—conditions.
Why couldn’t she be normal? Why couldn’t she accept what Rand and Z offered without all the doubt and fear? She’d grown up with three doting fathers, so surely that would lead her to believe two men could love her equally, and that she could love them equally in return. But the relationship between her fathers and Phoebe was anything but loving. The battleground that had been Sunnie’s childhood frightened and upset her as though she were still that little girl caught in the tug-of-war her mother enjoyed. Phoebe had thrived on the drama and used Sunnie at every opportunity to get at her fathers.
Sunnie sighed and curled her legs tighter to her chest. She’d sunk down in one of the soft armchairs while Rand and Z sat on the big couch. Neither of them had commented when she hadn’t joined them on the couch to watch the movie. Rand had picked a comedy, although none of them had found it all that funny. Then again, Sunnie wasn’t really watching—more like staring off into space. Her mind wouldn’t stop spinning with thought after thought. Nothing made sense. Not her fear, her excitement, or the bone-deep emotion she knew was love for the two men across the room. She’d always loved them, but this was different—deeper—an all-consuming feeling that threatened to drown her.
“Sunshine?”
Z’s raised voice snapped Sunnie out of her daze. She blinked rapidly. The TV screen was blank. When had the movie finished? Rand’s hand waved back and forth in front of her face.
“Earth to Sunnie. Earth to Sunnie.”
She sucked in a breath at their nearness. They were standing right in front of her chair and she hadn’t even seen them move.
“You asleep with your eyes open?” Z asked as he reached down and grabbed her hand. “Come on. Time for bed, I think.”
Sunnie froze, her gaze darting between the two of them. “But…but I’m not tired.” She punctuated the lie with a yawn.
Rand laughed. “Oh yeah, we see that.” He bent forward and placed his hand under her chin, tipped her head up, and held her firmly so she couldn’t turn away. “Relax, Sunshine. Nothing happens without your consent. Ever.”
He waited for her to nod before he leaned over and brushed his lips across hers, a light peck that had her hormones dancing with glee. Sunnie squashed them as best she could. She wasn’t ready to go there again, not by a long shot. Her confusion cast a dark cloud over the three of them and she wished with all her heart that it didn’t have to be that way. But there was no controlling the emotions besieging her and, until she could clear her mind, she’d have to ignore any demands her body made.
“Come on.” Z pulled her to her feet. “Nothing more than three people sharing the same bed to sleep in.”
Sunnie shivered. The last time the three of them had crawled into bed together they’d done many things. Sleep wasn’t one of them. But the looks on their faces convinced her they would honor their words. There’d be no sex without her asking for it. And why did that thought send a curl of disappointment through her? She really did need to make up her mind about what she wanted. Or maybe she just needed to tell her head to shut up and listen to her heart and body, because those two were in perfect agreement.
Rand’s hand pressed against her back, guiding her as Z pulled her behind him, his grip on her hand gentle but firm. They switched off lights as they made their way upstairs. She’d obviously been zoned out completely because she’d missed them locking up downstairs. With nerves skittering like a plague of mice, Sunnie found it hard to catch her breath. The closer they got to the bedroom the more anxious she became. She knew what she’d see when they entered the room. A king-size bed with sex-rumpled sheets. A shiver ran down her spine.
“Cold?” Rand asked.
“What?” She glanced over her shoulder. “No, not really.”
His gaze softened and he slid his hand up along her spine until his palm cupped her nape. “Relax, Sunshine. You’re safe with us, no matter what happens.”
She knew that. Knew they’d protect her as best they could. But how would they stop her from hurting herself? From hurting them? Sunnie might not know how she felt about everything that was happening between them, but she was sure none of them would get out of this unscathed. With a slight nod she turned her gaze away and stared at Z’s back as they walked along the short hallway. A few steps away from the door, Sunnie sucked in a breath and held it. Her fingers trembled in Z’s, and she hoped he couldn’t feel them or hear her pounding heart.
Rand’s hand disappeared from her back a second before both his hands curled over her shoulders and he leaned forward. “Sunshine, if you keep holding your breath like that you’re gonna pass out. Breathe.” He gave her a gentle squeeze before letting go.
The room was dark when they entered, but Z didn’t bother with the light switch. Instead, he tugged her across the room to the bed, pulled her around in front of him and guided her onto the mattress.
“Scoot over to the middle.” Z followed her, stretching out on his side.
Rand walked to the foot of the bed and grabbed the covers they’d kicked off earlier. With a flick of his wrists he spread the blanket over her and Z. A flash of light lit the room as Rand crawled onto the bed beside her. Sunnie’s gaze darted to the wall of windows the bed faced as a clap of thunder shook the house and scared the shit out of her.
Sunnie slapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her scream.
Z laughed. “Looks like the storm finally hit. We’re in for an amazing show.”
“What?” Sunnie removed her trembling hand and burrowed farther under the covers as if they could offer protection from the fury being unleashed outside.
“Here.” Z fluffed up her pillow. “Lean up against the headboard and relax. Watching Mother Nature let loose is one of the best sights in the world.”
“You’re kidding?” Sunnie wanted to pull the blanket over her head and not come out until the storm had passed. “I’d prefer to close the blinds.”
Rand finish propping up his pillow and settled next to her. “Z’s right. There’s nothing more th
rilling than watching a lightning storm.”
“I can think of plenty,” she mumbled under her breath as she wiggled a little lower on the bed.
“Come here.” Z wrapped his arm around her shoulders and tugged her closer. “Honestly, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s not like you haven’t seen a storm before.”
“I’ve never seem one from inside a goldfish bowl.”
“A goldfish bowl?” Rand chuckled.
“Hey, that whole wall is windows. You can’t tell me it doesn’t remind you of a goldfish bowl,” she argued, waving her hand at the offending glass.
“Think of it more like a real-life Imax theatre. You loved it when we went to that showing of the arctic animals last month,” Z reminded her.
“Yes, but that was from the safety of a well-cushioned chair with an exit door to the right.” Sunnie squirmed as another flash of light flooded the room.
“Here’s a thought,” Rand said. “This is a well-padded mattress and the exit door is still just to your right.” He patted the bed between them and pointed to the bedroom door.
Rand was right; she knew that, but she hated lightning storms. She’d had an irrational fear of them her whole life and without fail, whenever one occurred, she would instantly find somewhere that allowed her to remain oblivious to the flashes of electricity. Growing up, her safe haven had been the closet in her room. She would drag her toys in with her and play in the dark for hours. As she’d gotten older—and wiser—she’d managed to convince herself that closing the blinds or curtains on all the windows was enough protection. Sunnie figured if she was ever going to outgrow the terror it would have happened by now.
“Snuggle in closer.” Z tightened his hold. “You’re shaking. Are you cold?”
Sunnie edged as close as she could without crawling on top of Z, and when Rand’s warm body pressed into her other side she felt marginally better. Surrounded with their warmth, she found the courage to admit her fear.
“I’m terrified of lightning.”
“Really? How do we not know this?” Rand asked as he moved closer and curled his fingers around hers where they gripped the blanket in a stranglehold.