"Take a nap, sis. We’ll come and check on you later." Kade gave me a kiss on my nose, causing me to laugh.
"Eww. Why my nose?" I complained.
"Because it's fun. And you loved it when you were little," Kade reminded, sliding off the bed. He quickly checked the charts on the counter, signing a few things before he joined Mother and Father who were taking turns petting Nightmare who was quietly staring at them.
"You'll be back...right? This isn't a dream where if I wake up, you guys will be gone, right?" I whispered.
Mother gave me a sad smile, walking back to my side before sitting on the bed. "It's not a dream, sweetheart. We aren't going to disappear when you wake up. How about I stay with you till you sleep?" she whispered.
I nodded. "I'd like that. Just until I fall asleep," I confirmed. I knew they had many things to do and we'd stayed up all night and this morning. They all deserved rest.
"Yes. Now, lay back and relax," Mother encouraged.
I waved goodbye to Kade and Father who smiled at me and reassured they would be back later. I took one more look at the new royalty mark, my eyes lingering on the different vines until they stopped on the red line. Where are you my red star knight?
"There's one more missing, isn't there?" Mother whispered.
I turned my head to face her gentle expression. I nodded, frowning. "I don't know where he is. I feel like he needs me? But...how will I possibly find him?" I pondered.
"The Starlight gods brought the others to you. Maybe, they'll bring you to him?" she replied.
"I hope so. I love the others...but sometimes, I feel something is missing and no matter how much love and affection they give me, I don't feel..." I trailed off, trying to find the word.
"Whole. You don't feel complete, which makes sense. The Starlight gods will reunite you when the time is right. Don't stress about it." Mother pulled me into her arms, allowing me to rest my head on her chest.
"Okay," I replied, already beginning to feel the exhaustion from the initiation of the royalty bond take effect.
Mother began to hum softly, the sweet melody already having an effect in calming me down.
It wasn't long till I began to drift, my conscious slowly being engulfed by the darkness. I wasn't afraid of going back to the deep section of myself, but I now didn't have to. I wasn't going to run away anymore.
My family accepted me; something I'd waited for cycles to feel and enjoy the happiness of having a group of people who loved me unconditionally. Not only did it make me thankful to the Starlight gods for helping me reach this moment, it made me yearn to have a family one day. And I'd vow to bring peace to all realms, so no shifter would have to experience the loss of their child from Aspen's hands again.
In stars we trust.
"Kai-mhm," I countered, but was interrupted by his soft lips pressing against mine. I moaned into his mouth, kissing him passionately.
Kai came by in the late evening to wake me up for physiotherapy, my family informing Kai and the other knights that the old loyalty mark had been removed and how I'd created my own.
Apparently, making my own royalty mark confirmed I'd be the Queen of Heila in the future— the Starlight gods approving and allowing my symbol that represented me to manifest on my chest.
Now that the magic had dimmed, it was like any other marking, but instead of being just black, it held its color, which was bold and eye-catching.
Kade said he'd be first in command and Xavier would be the second, which was common practice until I get married and choose a King to rule alongside me. That was something that was tricky in itself, unsure how it would work when I was in love with not one, but five loyal star knights who were all Future Heirs of their designated realms.
Kai was here to help me with my leg exercises, but we'd gotten distracted with other things and I was now pinned to the bed with Kai above me, kissing me like it was our last moments on Heila.
He finally pulled away, allowing both of us to catch our breaths.
"Sorry, I couldn't help it," he whispered. His amber eyes twinkled in the soft light of the nightstand, but I could see the exhaustion in the lines of his face and the black circles under his eyes.
"You look like a bear shifter tackled you," I commented, lifting my hand up to brush his cheek and leaving it there. I enjoyed feeling his warmth, but even for me, he felt warmer than usual.
"I've had better days. I'll sleep later," he reassured me.
"Did you sleep at all?" I questioned.
"All day and night apparently. Ryder had to wake me up, but told me to go back to sleep when Kade came by and told me you were still resting," he explained.
"Ah. Father and Mother had explained that it takes a strenuous amount of energy," I mumbled.
"Yes, it does. I'm impressed you're awake. Those who get sworn in and create their own marks are usually out for days," Kai revealed.
"Days?" I repeated.
Kai nodded. "Father explained to me that he was out for three days straight when he became King. It's very energy taxing, so your parents thought you'd be out for a while," Kai confirmed.
"Oh. Interesting," I replied, still frowning at Kai's tired appearance.
"You should lay down with me," I proposed.
"We're supposed to be doing exercises," he countered.
"Five minutes."
"Fine." He sighed, giving up.
I knew he didn't want to argue with me, either because he didn't want me getting upset or because of the simple fact I was stubborn.
He helped me so I could lay on my side facing him.
"Have you been eating?" I questioned.
"What's with all these questions, Princess?" he whispered, his lazy eyes showed a hint of amusement while his hand brushed against my cheek.
"I'm worried about you. You don't look well, Kai," I replied. I seriously didn't like the way he looked and how warm he'd felt earlier.
"He should rest."
I flinched at the voice in my mind, completely forgetting about my spirits. LILY!
"Hello, Makoto. Welcome back, we missed you dearly," Lily whispered. She sounded tired but her chirpy voice was filled with happiness.
"Mako?" Kai questioned.
"Oh. Sorry, Lily woke up. I haven't heard from anyone else but Midnight so far. I was just taken aback that's all," I reassured Kai.
He nodded, pulling me into an embrace before he relaxed.
"Three minutes, then physio," he reminded.
"Uh huh," I replied, noticing from the deepness in his voice he was on the verge of sleep.
"Give him one minute, he'll be gone," Lily suggested.
We both waited.
Sure enough, Kai was asleep within a minute.
"Kai?" I whispered.
He didn't budge, his inhales and exhales were slow and even.
I frowned, rubbing his cheek. Why is he so tired? Is he sick?
"His flame is low."
Flame? You mean his phoenix energy? Like the energy usually reserved for when we completely shift? I questioned.
"Yes. Every Phoenix has energy reserved just for shifting. It's what helps us summon our flames with ease in battle. When that energy is low, we get sick. We've never experienced it because we've never used energy to that extent," Lily explained.
Is it because he teleported us here when we...uh died? I didn't like how weak Kai was looking and would rather he rest than spend time helping me.
"Hmm...more than that. I'll ask Hinotori the next time I get a chance," Lily assured me.
Have you talked at all since Earthala?
"Briefly when I woke up to ask what happened and where you were, but I couldn't stay awake. I tried, but was just too tired. Hinotori reassured me he was working with Daniel and the others to help heal our legs and then I went back to sleep," Lily explained.
Ah. I closed my eyes, wondering about the others, especially Daniel. I felt Midnight nudge into my mind, making her presence known first rather than her usual random appearances
.
"Mako. Are you angry at Daniel?" Midnight questioned.
I didn't answer, unsure how to even answer. It wasn't that I was mad at him. Kai and Kade explained he'd been working nonstop to help us with our current situation. It was even thanks to him that the hole in my chest had healed. Thankfully, the new royalty mark hid the large scar left behind after healing.
I just didn't know how to face him. Daniel loved perfection; from the way his clothes fit on his body to his meticulous ash blond strands. If his glasses had even a hint of dust on them, he had to clean them.
How can he love me now? I’m not like the woman he loved before the exam. I am damaged...broken. He can't love me like the others...right?
"The angel still loves you, Mako," Midnight whispered.
Lily mentally nodded. "He wouldn't work so diligently if he didn't love you, Makoto," Lily stressed.
I sighed, nestling myself in Kai's arms as I took in his pumpkin spice scent, his sweet, addictive aroma always being able to help calm me.
I don't know. I just don't know if I want to keep fighting to learn more. I'm exhausted as is.
"Then let him fight for you? Didn't Scarlet say something like that?" Lily questioned.
"She did. Down on Earthala. On the beach," Midnight confirmed.
I pondered that thought, remembering Scarlet's discussion from Earthala:
"Is Ryder the only one you've been sexual with?" she asked.
"Ya. I'm kinda struggling to be honest," I admitted.
"Why?" Scarlet asked.
I gulped, feeling nervous.
She tightened her hold. "Makoto. We're friends. I know, it's kinda hard since we've just met, and I'm not used to having a friend to consult with besides Cece, but I want you to know I'm here to help if you're in a pinch," she comforted.
"Well...I'm just having difficulty juggling myself between all of them. Ryder and I have always been close because I remember him from my childhood. I'm fine with Marcus and Elias, and even though I just met Kai, it seems our relationship is pretty solid. But, I'm struggling with Daniel and feel he's pushing me away," I vented.
"Why do you think Daniel's pushing you away? He seemed pretty defensive in making sure you were his this morning," she replied.
"He's dealing with his inner demons I guess?" I mumbled, looking down to the ground. I was trying my best not to show how much it bothered me. I cared about Daniel and wanted to know where we stood. All the tension growing between us and Midnight was getting to me, and I didn't know how to handle it.
Scarlet turned to face me, placing her hand under my chin and lifting my head up to face her.
"You love him just like the others, right?" she asked.
"Yes," I replied.
"Then have some alone time with him. Maybe he thinks you love the others and not him? If he's dealing with whatever has happened in his past, give him the reassurance that you aren't going to leave him behind. Some guys are just like that. I noticed the way he looks at you. There's love there. I think he just needs to get over whatever he's dealing with," Scarlet stated.
I took a moment to digest her words; Midnight lingered in my mind to listen in.
Scarlet gave me a light smile. "Trust your instincts and if all else fails, be stern with him and tell it as it is. If you get tired of chasing, change roles. Give him space and let him decide. If he truly wants to be with you, he'll move mountains to reach you," she encouraged.
That makes sense.
"I like her," Midnight admitted, sounding pleased.
"Thank you, Scarlet. That helped a lot." I smiled back.
"Let him chase me..." I whispered, allowing my eyes to close.
I felt something brush my hair and I began to stir awake. I turned my head to look over my shoulder, tyrian purple eyes meeting mine.
"Hey, baby. You okay?" he whispered.
I blinked, feeling confused as I turned back to see Kai who was still asleep. "Sleepy?" I mumbled. I gently pulled myself out of Kai's embrace, he mumbled something before turning over, falling back to sleep.
Ryder helped me sit up and repositioned my legs so they dangled off the bed. I rubbed my eyes before yawning.
"What time is it?" I asked.
Ryder knelt down, beginning to massage my legs, which I couldn't feel. Kai said it would ensure my blood wouldn't just pool to my feet, the massage techniques aiding in blood circulation.
"Ten at night," he replied, looking up at my confused expression while he continued the massage on my right leg.
"We slept all evening? Oops," I mumbled.
Ryder looked past me to Kai, frowning. "Kai's exhaustion is worrying me," Ryder confessed.
"He looked like he got hit by a bear shifter," I explained.
Ryder nodded. "He's been like that since yesterday," Ryder mentioned.
"Lily said it has something to do with his phoenix flame? She said she'll look into it," I noted.
"Okay. I'll tell him to take tomorrow off."
"He won't and you know it."
"I can try?"
"And deal with stubborn Kai? I don't see that going well," I countered.
Even though Kai and I hadn't gotten a lot of time to learn about one another, I knew he was stubborn. Maybe even more stubborn than me.
"We’ll see," he whispered. He paused the massage, standing up before his hands slipped across my cheeks. He lifted my head, his soft tender lips landing on mine.
I relaxed, having missed his rose scent that surrounded me as he kissed me. He was hesitant at first, but those soft kisses grew deeper while his hand slid through my black locks.
"I missed you, baby," he whispered. His voice was filled with so many emotions that it hurt my heart to have left him and the others.
"I'm sorry. I just...couldn’t face you all. Not after what I did to Nightmare and trying...to..." I trailed off, unable to state the words.
He shook his head, his arms wrapped around me.
"Firefly, we wouldn't judge you. I'm so sorry. We should have done our part too. We didn't know about everything that had happened at the facility. We should have. It was our duty to review the files, but we were so caught up in the sheer joy of having you back we totally forgot about it. Regardless, we wouldn't have judged you. We love you wholeheartedly no matter what happens. This is just a body, remember? It doesn't determine the beautiful woman you've become and the princess we love," he whispered, claiming my lips once more.
I kissed him back, a tear rolling down my cheek as we deepened the kiss. I'd missed Ryder just like the others, and now that he stood before me, kissing me with such affection, made me happy to be back.
"Make out later..."
We pulled away to stare at Kai, who'd mumbled something. We waited for him to continue, but he fell back asleep.
"Ya. I'm totally going to try and make him have tomorrow off. Maybe I can get Arthur to force him," Ryder suggested.
"Or you can let me try?" I whispered, grinning.
He raised an eyebrow at me, but grinned. "You're just going to blink your eyes or seduce him, aren't you?"
"Never. I, the Princess of Heila wouldn't dare use such tactics."
He chuckled, shaking his head before his eyes lingered on my chest. "The royalty mark..." He trailed off, focusing harder on the colorful masterpiece.
"Father initiated it earlier with Mother and Kade present. Apparently, this means I'm going to be Queen one day," I disclosed.
Ryder nodded. "Yes. I'm surprised you're awake. Father said he was out for a week," Ryder pointed out.
"Kai said something similar, but his father was out for three days," I replied.
"Yeah. Everyone had a different recovery time. I'm glad you're awake, but please make sure you get enough rest. Now, let me help you with the stretches." Ryder gave me one final kiss before letting his arms return to his side as he lowered to his knees and focused on massaging my left leg.
"Ryder."
He looked up to meet my gaze. "Yes, Makoto?"
&nb
sp; "Do you think...I'll be able to walk again? And...if there's a chance I don't, do you think the people of Heila will accept me? I don't want to be seen as a burden or a hindrance. I know how to operate a wheelchair and function in battle without the use of my legs if necessary. I don't want people looking down on me because...I'm uh...disabled," I mumbled, lowering my head while I struggled to accept my fate if we couldn't fix the damage in my legs.
"Makoto, lift your head," he ordered his voice low.
I swallowed, lifting my head up to face his stern look.
"No one will dare think such a thing, and if they do, I'll make sure they regret it. Your magic is your strength. Not just the body that hosts it. Same as how your soul is what makes a difference in someone's life. Not just your looks. If it helps, we've had an Heir in similar circumstances and her realm never looked down upon her. An opposing realm member challenged them to a duel to the death. Long story short, his grave is a reminder that no one should judge a book by its cover," Ryder explained.
I absorbed his words, wondering who could have endured something similar to myself. If they could overcome this, maybe I could too?
"Okay. I'll give it a shot. I'll lift my head proudly and if there are negative responses to my current condition I'll just let you and the others beat them up," I cheered.
He snickered at my change in expression. "Oh, Mako. I've missed you," he whispered, giving me a wide smile.
"I've missed you more," I whispered, leaning forward to kiss him.
"MEW."
We pulled apart in time to miss Nightmare's attempt to crash into us.
"Hyper," I mumbled, staring at Nightmare who'd recovered from her jump and had crawled into my lap. Her tails waved wildly back and forth with a vibrant pink glow.
Ryder sighed, moving back so her tails wouldn't hit his face. "She's super excited," Ryder pointed out.
"Yeah. She hasn't left my side since I woke up." I lifted my hand to pet her.
She purred, relaxing on my lap before she curled up, her tails still waving back and forth, but at a slower rate.
"She really missed you. She would take turns sleeping in here or with Marcus or Elias," Ryder explained.
Poisonous Dream (The Starlight Gods Series Book 5) Page 15