Forever in Hollywood

by Jovana Rodolakis

  “Oh really, I didn’t notice.” I tried to act nonchalant since Jocelyn was studying my reaction. She pursed her lips momentarily before letting the subject die.

  “Jocelyn, your things?” Waving Andrew in my face like a shiny new penny only distracted me for so long. I was back on track. She made the mistake of not pushing the issue further.

  She hung her head low. Watching her shoes as if they were going to jump off her feet and run away she finally responded in a small voice. “This is all I have.”

  My eyes narrowed, but she continued before I could say anything.

  “He never.” She bit her lip. “He told me I was too pretty to ruin my looks with makeup. So he tossed it all out, even my lip-gloss. He said I needed to be more confident in my own beauty and not some store bought products.” She peered up then and balked when she saw my face. I must have looked as horrified as I felt. “I guess at the time I thought it was a compliment, so I went along with what he was saying.”

  “And your jewelry as well?”

  She nodded.

  “Jocelyn, all that stuff is like frosting on a cake. It’s delicious without the frosting, but when you put a nice homemade frosting over that fresh baked cake, it’s irresistible.”

  “I don’t think I remember how to be irresistible.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ve got lots of frosting to help you out.”

  She smiled brightly, and we linked arms and left.

  ****

  In the studio parking lot, a group of people gathered to wait for the birthday girl. Andrew was there, reclined against a light pole. My heart skittered at the sight of him in a plain white button-down shirt and five o’clock shadow across his strong jawline.

  Billy was in the group as well. I felt bad for neglecting him the past couple of days. He had been my first friend and the sweetest man to me when I arrived, scared and new to the set. I smiled at him and waved a friendly greeting as Jocelyn and I pulled up. He strode over to talk with us.

  Andrew followed. For some ridiculous reason, he seemed to take Billy as a threat. He moved between Billy and myself, shoulders squared.

  “Hey Billy, you’re coming tonight?” I diverted my attention to Billy.

  “I wouldn’t miss a chance to celebrate our little Anne’s birthday. Not to mention a chance to beat your ass at the craps table.”

  Anne arrived, interrupting him and looked stunning in her new Armani dress. She called for everyone’s attention. “I think everyone is here. We can leave now.”

  I was glad I’d gone with a slinky royal blue dress with leather trim that I bought for this past New Year’s Eve. It made me feel less self-conscious, as if I fit in with the crowd.

  “Do you need a ride to the airport?” Billy eyed Andrew’s threatening posture.

  “No, they’re riding with me,” Andrew snapped and pressed his hand against my back, urging me to move forward.

  Billy raised a questioning eyebrow. “Are you sure you want to ride with him? That’s not going to help things, Marissa.” He directed his response solely to me. Andrew and Jocelyn didn’t stop; they passed Billy on the way to his car expecting me to follow, but I paused to speak briefly to my friend.

  “It’s okay, nothing is going to stop the rumors, so why bother?” I grimaced, partially because I knew the rumors were all true.

  “He’s going to try something on you. I can see it in his eyes,” he practically snarled. “Don’t hate me for saying this but, please don’t be stupid and ruin your marriage over that man-whore. No matter what lies he tells you, men are ruthless. I don’t want to have to give him a beating for you.”

  It was clear Billy had drawn the same conclusions about Andrew that I did before I truly got to know him.

  “Thanks for looking out for me, Billy. I’ve got it under control,” I lied smoothly. “I’ve got to go, but I’ll see you at the craps table. You still owe me an explanation on how it’s played.” I smiled, changing the subject before hurrying to catch up with Andrew and Jocelyn.

  Why couldn’t I stop myself from being around this man? I truly didn’t understand it, and if I was totally honest with myself, I wasn’t sure I wanted to. I slid into the passenger seat of the two-door sports car and pulled the heavy door shut.

  “Are you ready to lose your shirt?” Andrew teased.

  “Always baby,” I shot back at him. At the same time I felt a hard nudge in the back of my seat. I looked thru the rearview mirror to see my friend shaking her head ever so slightly at me.

  The road was in serious need of maintenance. As we bumped along, the old suspension in the Firebird accentuated each pothole. I watched row after row of empty strip malls with gated windows pass us by.

  I thought for sure we’d be on the road for a good hour, but it only took about ten minutes to reach the small executive airport in the valley. It was surprising that anyone would want to house a multimillion-dollar plane in such a rough neighborhood.

  Sitting on the tarmac was a sleek Gulfstream jet, stairs already lowered and waiting for the group. We piled in and were off. The celebration started immediately with bottles of champagne being popped. It was obvious these guys were old pros at this. Jocelyn and I sat in silence, taking everything in.

  When we arrived at McCarran Airport, we were greeted by a stretch limo.

  “Okay, Anne, this is insane,” I blurted.

  “Just go with it, darling.” Andrew winked.

  He was no longer trying to hide our friendship. At the barbeque restaurant, he sat next to me on the long wooden booth. Jocelyn sat on my other side across from John. There was a constant chatter around us at the table, but oftentimes Andrew and I found ourselves lost in private conversation. So much so that I was surprised when she blurted out, “Hello. Remember me? You know you’re not helping things.”

  Startled, I turned to her and frowned. “What?”

  “You two look like a couple. How else are people supposed to think when you won’t stop flirting like that long enough to join in on other conversations?” she hissed in my ear.

  Heat rose in my cheeks as I glanced around the table. Several eyes were trained upon us and a knowing smile lit up Anne’s face. She was right, on several levels. First, I was being rude to her. I was being a terrible friend when I’m sure she had to feel pretty lost and scared. She needed my attention more than my hormones did. Second, my behavior was only feeding the rumor mill.

  “I’m sorry.” I gave Andrew one last apologetic glance before turning my attention to her.

  Chapter Seventeen

  John took it upon himself to explain the rules of several casino games to Jocelyn, from slot machines to poker. He continued his lessons in the casino making her his apprentice. I was more than happy to relinquish my chips to her, feigning that I had horrible luck and with beginner’s luck on her side she would do better with my chips.

  I made a conscious effort to keep my distance from Andrew. When he joined his friends, I politely excused myself from the table and went to find Billy for my Craps lesson.

  He was seated at a full table with a neat little stack of chips in front of him. I wedged myself into a small opening on his left. Billy smiled a wide toothy grin at me. “Glad you found me. I need some luck right now.”

  “I told you I’m not that lucky.” There was a loud cheer from around the table, and Billy pounded his hand on the railing in applause.

  “So, are you going to tell me what’s going on here, or am I going to stand around like an imbecile all night?” I chided him.

  “New shooter,” Billy yelled as an elderly lady standing next to me took the dice. He placed several blue chips on the table and turned to me. “Of course, this lady here will throw the dice once all bets are made. If she throws a seven or eleven, I lose.”

  “You lose, why?”

  “Because I placed a ‘don’t pass line’ bet. If I placed a pass line I would win automatically. If she rolls a two, three, or twelve that’s called craps and the ‘don’t pass line’ bets win
.”

  “What about the rest of the numbers?” I asked as the lady tossed the dice onto the table. The little red squares bounced off the far wall and landed on six.

  “That is a point. She rolls again,” he stated, eyes fixed on the table. Chips were being placed all over the felt table right before the slender white hand tossed the dice again.

  Cheers went up, and more chips were passed out and collected. The game was fast paced. Before I knew it, Billy handed me two dice and told me to roll.

  “But I’m not playing,” I sputtered in horror.

  “I am and I want my lady luck to roll for me. I bet pass line, don’t argue with me, just roll before the table gets angry with you.”

  I did as he asked and the dice made a bumpy landing on a four and a three. Billy made a whooping sound and gave my shoulders a squeeze.

  “Not bad, my little lady luck.” His blue eyes sparkled. “Let’s get you a drink,”

  A small glass full of amber liquid was placed in front of me, and I sipped slowly watching the game. “What about all those other bets people are calling out?”

  “Let’s keep it simple for now, huh? That’ll be lesson two.”

  I smiled sheepishly and buried my nose in the glass. Time must have escaped me because I was startled when a hand came to rest on my forearm. I turned to see Jocelyn and majority of our group.

  “John wants to know if we can go to this bar,” Jocelyn asked.

  “What?” I was caught up in the action and hadn’t been listening.

  “Most of the guys are leaving. They’re going to a bar now. John is rounding everyone up and wants to know if we’ll come, too.”

  “Oh, sure.”

  “That’s a good idea. I should quit while I still have chips,” Billy said. “Let me go cash these out, and I’ll be right with you ladies.”

  “Are you having fun tonight?” I asked.

  “I’m having a blast. John taught me how to play poker, and I was doing really well for a while.” She frowned. “Oh, but I sort of lost all your money on a rather foolish bet. Please don’t be mad at me. I’ll pay you back.”

  “Nonsense, Jocelyn, I would have lost that money anyway. It’s just for fun.”

  ****

  The bar was a block down the street from the casino. My feet didn’t even have a chance to protest the walk in high heels before we entered the building. I wouldn’t have called it a bar per se. The dark walls were filled corner-to-corner with swaying bodies. There was a wet T-shirt contest on the front stage with a middle-aged man holding a bottle of some electric pink alcohol above each of the contestant’s heads. They would tilt back, and he would pour. I wasn’t sure if he was actually getting any in their mouths or if it was all running down their already-wet chests.

  “Well, this is going to be interesting.” Andrew coughed and rubbed a hand over his growing five o’clock shadow. “I should probably go see what the boys are up to.”

  I raised a questioning eyebrow and then shrugged.

  “Last time we danced together...” He let the sentence trail as his gaze lingered on my mouth.

  I understood what he meant. My body tingled with the memory. “Oh.” The electric shock attacked my nerves the moment we stepped into the dark room. Andrew was far too close and far too dressed for the darkness. “Yeah, there are a lot more cast members here tonight,” I murmured.

  “I’ll go bugger all over there.” He strode off toward the far end of the bar. Jocelyn and Anne were already headed to the bar to grab some drinks and mingle with the local crowd. Making a conscious effort to widen the distance between Andrew and myself, I followed them.

  John and one of the tech guys seemed to take an interest in Jocelyn, and she was enjoying the attention. She was eagerly flirting and dancing with the men and paid less and less attention to me.

  It wasn’t long before Andrew showed up next to me. “She seems to be having fun,” he commented with a smile and nod toward the dance floor.

  “Yes, I’m glad.” I couldn’t have been happier for my friend.

  When John first started talking to her, she seemed confused. But his friendly manner set her at ease, and it wasn’t long before she picked up on the flirting. His dark Italian looks contrasted well with her fair tones and pale blue eyes.

  “Fancy another drink?” The British accent rang out.

  “Sure, I’ll go with you,” I said slyly, hoping to have a little time alone with Andrew.

  He reached behind me and grazed his hand down my back to escort me to the bar. My breathing hitched. What is wrong with me? Can’t the man even touch me in a friendly manner that doesn’t make me start panting like a dog?

  Andrew must have heard the change in my breathing because his fingers dug into my waist. We didn’t make it to the bar. Instead he backed me into a floating wall meant to conceal a booth. There, pressed against the wall, Andrew moved his lips over mine, eagerly nipping and sucking at my skin. I pawed at his hair and pressed my body against him in answer becoming exceedingly aroused.

  “Oh my God! Marissa, what are you doing?” Jocelyn shrieked at me over the bass. Why had I neglected to assure no one was around before giving into temptation? I ducked my head into Andrew’s shoulder to hide my blushing face.

  “Oh hell,” Andrew murmured into my ear as he wrapped his arms around my head in a protective manner.

  Standing beside Jocelyn were her two admirers and Anne who had a hyena-like smile plastered over her face. “Oh, this is the best birthday present, ever!”

  I cringed at the glee in her voice.

  I was on display for everyone, cue the spotlight please. Heads turned in our direction, their attention drawn by Jocelyn’s outburst. My hand flew over my mouth in shock. I ran past the onlookers, elbowing and pushing my way out of the crowded room and onto a side street.

  Once outside, I slumped against the wall of the building and buried my head into my hands. What was I doing?

  “Marissa?” Jocelyn called. “What’s going on? I thought you said the rumors were lies.”

  “I never specifically said that, I kind of dodged the issue when you asked,” I mumbled through my hands.

  “Oh, Mari.” She bent to hug me. “You have to stop this nonsense. If Dan finds out, he’ll use it against you. You have to finalize your divorce—get that fixed.”

  “I can’t,” I said weakly.

  “Yes you can. Repeat after me. I will stop being stupid. Andrew means nothing to me. I need to go home and fix things,” she chanted.

  I sighed. “You don’t understand, I’m sorry, I can’t.”

  “What?” She rubbed my back in soothing circles.

  I knew she wouldn’t give up till I said what she wanted. “I’ll stop being stupid, Andrew means nothing to me. I need to go home and fix things,” I repeated. In the distance the door to the club slammed shut and I jumped. “It’s not true though, Jocelyn, I tried to avoid it, but I’m crazy about him.” My voice cracked as I tried to contain my pent-up emotions.

  “Oh, Mari, I’m so sorry. Is this why you and Dan are getting a divorce?”

  “No, I don’t want to talk about it here in the street. Can we talk about it at the hotel?”

  “Sure.”

  “I’m sorry, Joce.”

  Jocelyn helped me to my feet, and we climbed in an idle taxi waiting at the corner of the street.

  The ride back to the hotel was eerily silent. I stared out the window at the passing neon lights. Once the hotel door closed behind me, she began questioning right away.

  “What the hell are you doing, Mari? You’re going through a divorce, and here I find you with your tongue down another man’s throat.” Her eyes were crinkled and full of concern, but there was a slight air of scolding laced in her voice.

  “I’m getting a divorce. What does it matter who I’m with now?” Suddenly the air conditioner hanging under the window seemed very interesting. I tried memorizing the dials and their positions on the panel, anything to keep from looking Jocelyn in t
he eyes.

  “Do you not see what you’re doing?” Her hands perched above her hips. “You’re jumping in bed with the first hot guy that comes along after Dan hurt you. That’s not healthy, Mari. Not to mention you chose a very well known guy as your rebound. What if someone photographs you two together?”

  I cut her off. “I did nothing with Andrew until after Dan sent me the divorce papers. We’re getting a divorce because he cheated on me. I know I shouldn’t be complicating things, I should be dealing with Dan, but it happened. Andrew was there when I needed someone.”

  “But, if he gets hold of pictures he could use that against you in the divorce. Who’s going to have more proof of cheating, the emails you have from him to her, or photos of you all over another man? He’s already claiming you abandoned the house.”

  Fear tightened the lump in my throat, I tried to swallow and speak. “I never thought of that, but it’s more my house. My savings paid half of the deposit, and our wedding money paid the rest.”

  “And right now Dan wants to hurt you. He will try to twist things to get what he wants. It’s not worth it, even if Andrew is a hot Brit.” She winked. “Get through your divorce first.” She sat beside me and gave my shoulders a squeeze.

  I was searching for the things to say, trying to make sense of my jumbled thoughts and feelings all the while Jocelyn sat quietly by my side. “It’s just that when Dan cheated, I stayed, I wanted him to find a way to show me I could trust him again, but I never felt the same way toward him after that. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me. Dan tore my soul apart, and all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put it back together again, but somehow, Andrew did.”

  “Are you trying to tell me Andrew is your soul mate?”

  “No, that’s not what I’m saying, it’s just…Andrew is—”

  “New?” she said. “There are always fresh sparks with someone new, Mari. What happens when those sparks are gone and Dan gets awarded the house?”

  “Dan isn’t going to get the house. I paid for it, and he can’t afford the mortgage alone. I’ll do the right thing with Andrew, but I’m very tired.” I yawned and sank down onto the bed. “I promise you Joce, I will not keep secrets from you any further. We’ll be okay no matter what happens between Dan and me.”