by Lisa Shelby
Not cute…fucking adorable.
“I didn’t take it that way at all,” I reassure her. “You’re lucky to have a sibling that you’re so close to.”
“So, you’re an only child?”
“Yep, just me and my mom,” I answer back.
“I’m sure it’s hard to be away. I know how hard it is for me and I am just one state away while I’m at school. But you’re going half way across the world into a dangerous situation. It has to be even harder on her,” she says without meaning any disrespect and without me taking any.
“It is hard on her, but luckily now there’s Skype and other ways to stay in touch when we can so, that helps. Man, I miss her cooking when I’m gone. I mean she is really an amazing cook. I just left home and I already can’t wait to go back and eat my mom’s lasagna again!” I’m trying to lighten the conversation, but Emily doesn’t have that in the cards at the moment.
“So, were you close with your dad when he passed away?”
“I was. I mean I was five so I thought my dad was the coolest thing there was. He loved motorcycles and my mom hated them, but she didn’t want to tell him ‘no’ to something he loved so much. I know she wishes every day, that just once, she had been that overbearing wife that put her foot down and said no to him getting a motorcycle. But that just wasn’t her style and it wasn’t her fault. Everything happens for a reason and I have to believe that there was a reason for my dad being taken so soon.” It hits me in this moment that I never talk about this with anybody. It feels kinda good to get some of this out so I keep going. “My parent’s best friends, Robert and Fiona, lived close by and Robert tried really hard to always be there and fill the dad roll as best he could. He could never replace my dad, but I’m lucky to have both of them in my life. Their son, Liam, is my best friend. We were born just a few weeks apart and have been best friends our entire lives. He has a sister, Kate, so where I was an only child at home with just me and my mom, I was fortunate to have the Fanuas to call family as well. I always sorta felt like their middle child. My parents were a little older when they had me and my mom’s parents had already passed. My dad’s parents were in Ireland and I never really new them so, besides my mom, the Fanuas are my family.”
She reaches up and rubs my back a few times while I tell my story but doesn’t say anything. So, I continue, much to my own surprise. “I really am lucky, because I have the best mom in the world. I’m not sure how she did it alone. She never made it seem like I was a burden or like raising me alone was too much for her. She did what she had to do and was there for me every step of the way. I feel like I owe her everything. That’s why I joined the Corps. I was in community college just barely getting by and I realized that I needed something more. The way I was going wasn’t really going to get me anywhere and I thought some structure and discipline would be something to help me get where I needed to be. I was kinda hoping I might find myself along the way so, I joined. Trust me, leaving her was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but for the last three years I have been saving my money. I want to make my mom proud, and I want to buy her the house she has always dreamed of. I want to take care of her like she took care of me. She deserves that and that’s what I am hoping to do.”
I realize what a mama’s boy I probably sound like and decide it’s time to get the subject off of me. Just as she is about to ask another question I see her eyes practically jump out of her head and she lets out a blood curdling scream!
“Snake! Snake!” she screams and in a move I don’t even see coming she jumps on my back and I’m suddenly giving her a piggy back ride.
Laughing while looping my arms under her legs I stop and look around and see a small gopher snake slinking off into the tall grass on the side of the trail.
“The coast is clear. It was just a gopher snake, nothing to worry about,” I tell her as I feel her forehead rest on my shoulder.
“I am so embarrassed. I cannot believe I screamed like a little girl and jumped on you like this. I. Am. So. Sorry. You can put me down now,” she says but I’m not ready to let go just yet.
“No, better safe than sorry,” I say and continue on our hike with her on my back. She feels too good pressed against me to let go just yet.
“So, you don’t say much about your dad. Was he not in the picture?”
Because I’m carrying her and her lips are right near my ear she doesn’t have to speak loudly to answer me. The sigh that she exhales right before she does sends a chill down my spine. Combine that exhale with her breasts pressed against my back and her legs wrapped around my waist and it is taking everything I have to stay focused on this conversation. Thank God I had just taken the ruck sack off to grab some water and am able to feel all of her against me while the backpack hags off my arm. The thing is I really do want to know all about her. So, I push my desire for her aside while I wait for her to answer.
Quietly she says in my ear, “My dad was around until he moved out when I was in the 8th grade. He left my mom for another woman.”
I’m about to reply when she continues, “He had been having an affair with another woman and she got pregnant. He chose to leave the three of us to start another family with another woman. After that, he wasn’t really around. He tried, but on the weekends my brother and I would have to spend with him it was pretty clear that we didn’t want to be there. Rather than make his new family uncomfortable, he said that my brother and I didn’t need to visit any more if we didn’t want to and that he would stop by and see us. Of course he didn’t. He would stop by on birthdays and holidays but that was really it.”
I see a bench up ahead and decide to reluctantly put her on her feet and guide her to the bench with my hand on her back. I pull a bottle of water out of my bag and hand it to her. “I feel so bad for your dad.” She looks at me as though I disgust her, but I finish my sentence anyway. “Because he’s the one that is missing out. I don’t know your brother but to have you in his life and then to choose not to spend every possible moment with you is definitely his loss, Emily.”
So quietly that I almost can’t hear her, she says, “Thank you,” and then after taking a drink of water and staring out at the ocean for a moment lifts her chin to look me in the eyes as she continues on.
“The sad thing is I didn’t know until he left us that he had been cheating on my mom their entire marriage. My dad is a cop and never could resist a Badge Bunny, so I hear. She knew though. My mom knew and she let him walk all over her for the sake of her family and to keep us all together. I hate to admit it but when I first found out I was really angry at her. I just couldn’t imagine that what I thought was my parent’s perfect marriage was all lies. I also couldn’t wrap my brain around the fact that my strong willed—you can do anything you put your mind to mother—had let a man walk all over her for her entire adult life. It broke my heart and at twenty-one I already feel more bitter than I should.”
She brings one of her legs up to the bench and hugs it to her chest and turns her head to look at me. “Mix my parent’s relationship with my atrocious luck at choosing the right guys and the mystery of why I don’t date or do relationships is pretty plain to see.”
“You don’t have to be bitter though,” I say as I look into her sad eyes. “You have a choice. You can be bitter or you can be better. You can learn from your parent’s mistakes and even your own, and you can do better than they did or than you have in the past. I understand why you were angry at your mom, but growing up with a mom who had to do it all alone with only one kid, I can’t imagine how scared your mom was to have to do it alone with two. I get it though, Em. I do. You’ve been hurt by those you trusted the most. You don’t want to put yourself in that place to be hurt again. But not every guy is a bad guy and one day when you find The One you’ll see that letting somebody in isn’t such a bad thing. There are happily ever afters out there, Emily.”
“You’re right and I know that. My mom really did struggle but my brother and I both worked as much as possible
to help out. I did my best to get good grades so that I could earn scholarships to help get me to school. I understand where she was coming from now, trust me I do, it was just hard for a while and I was a stupid kid who was mad at the world.”
She stands and drinks some more of her water and then says, “As for your idea of a happily ever after…I am not so sure I can agree with you on that one. I love a good romance novel, especially the ones where they ride off into the sunset together, but I know that it’s only fiction. It isn’t real life. It sure is nice to think it could happen to us all one day, but I’ve been through too much already to know that’s probably just not true.”
With her words bouncing around my head I stand and put my empty water bottle in my bag, and we start walking again. Before I realize what I’m doing I reach over and pull her shoulder into my side and proclaim, “I would love to be the one to change your mind on that happily ever after, Gracie,” I kiss the top of her head and release her. I walk ahead a few feet to give her some space and to think about what I just said. I have never laid down the gauntlet before, but I think that’s what I just did. The thing is, I feel good about it, and most of all…I meant it. I would be lucky to have a happily ever after with a girl like Emily. If there were ever a time to have the luck of the Irish, this would be it.
Once we’re up Patriots Hill the payoff for the trek we just made is waiting for us. The 360 degree view is amazing, but nothing compared to the view of Emily as she joins me up at the flagpole. She’s sweaty, her chest is heaving and she quite frankly looks pissed.
“I thought you said the hills weren’t that bad on this trail. Are you trying to kill me?” she says with a little bit of a screech to her voice.
After I left her with my proclamation—about happily ever afters and me wanting to give her one—and a few minutes of space she joined me and we did most of the hike side by side but in silence. Until it started getting steep. At first, she was keeping up with me just fine, but the tougher it got the filthier that sweet little mouth of hers got. Every few steps I would hear. “This is bullshit,” or “I can’t believe I am spending my fucking vacation getting up at the God damned butt crack of dawn so I could come sweat my ass off!” Or my favorite, “Fuck this hill. No seriously, Jonathan, this hill can fuck right off!”
She. Is. Fucking. Adorable.
“Hey you did it though and now you get the reward of this amazing view and …wait for it…another bottle of water!” I say as I pull out said bottle of water from my bag like I’ve just performed some amazing magic trick. I am such a dork.
I toss her the bottle and she catches it and says, “You’re right. I did make it and lucky for you. If I had died on this trail you would have Cami after your ass and I don’t wish that on anybody,” she says with a giggle.
“I wouldn’t let anything happen to you,” I say as I lift my hand to my heart, then in my best southern drawl say, “I must say ma’am, I am a bit hurt and offended that you would insinuate that I could play a part in your demise after my heroic efforts to save you from that deadly snake early this morning.”
“Nice try, Georgia, but that funny little accent of yours isn’t going to work on me. I will admit that the view from behind is pretty nice and did help keep me going. The view up here isn’t too bad either,” she says as she turns away to admire the view of San Clemente. I know it’s so she can hide the familiar blush that’s now creeping up her neck and to that gorgeous face of hers.
I walk up behind her, bend down so that my chin is resting on her shoulder and my arms go around her waist to pull her back closer to my front. Her hand not holding her water bottle instantly comes up to mine and she rests it there as I whisper into her ear. “Sorry for the work out, but if this is what it took for you to admit you think I have a nice ass…then it was worth it.”
I feel her giggle and then she says, “Don’t press your luck, Georgia.”
We stand there for a few minutes in silence and I take the time to enjoy every piece of her that is pressed against me. I can’t get enough of that smell of hers that fills my head, and my heart for that matter. She is contently swaying to her own music as we stand there together and she draws circles with her finger on my forearm. I don’t ever want to let her go. The moment is perfect and I feel like we’re making progress. She may not date, but there is no denying she feels something. It’s been there since the first moment I saw her at Ole’s and I know she feels it too.
Our moment is over with the sound of a whining child approaching behind us. Still holding tight to me, Emily looks around me for the child making the offending noise that is quickly ruining our tranquility. When she spots her she lets go of me and I release her even though it’s the last thing I want to do.
“Hey there, did you just walk up that hill?” Emily says to the annoying, whining, little girl.
“Yes, and now I’s hot and firsty!” the little girl whines.
“You are one tough cookie then, because I barely made it up that hill. Give me some knuckles,” and the little girl does just that and without coaching from Emily they both blow it up after bumping their knuckles together. The girl chuckles and just like that snaps out of her funk.
Watching her talk to this little girl, who must only be three or four, and then go over and talk to the mom who has an infant attached to her chest, is a sight. She’s not afraid to talk to anybody and is always so concerned with making everybody else feel comfortable. She’s now fussing over the baby and the mother couldn’t be happier to show off her little bundle of joy.
After the little toddler climbs into her stroller—that looks like it’s made for hiking—with juice box in hand, the mom and her two little one’s head back down the trail and out of sight. That mom is a stud to have hiked these hills with a baby strapped to her front while pushing that stroller.
Emily comes back my way and says, “Hi.”
“Hi back,” I say.
“Sorry about that, I get distracted sometimes. It’s a bad habit I have.”
“What’s that? Helping strangers and making everybody you talk to feel special? Not sure that’s a bad habit or something to be sorry for. If anything, it just draws me to you more,” I notice a piece of renegade hair that’s fallen from her bun and push it behind her ear. Leaving my hand on the back of her nape and stroking the side of her neck with my thumb, I continue putting it all out there, because this girl has me hook, line and sinker. I haven’t even kissed her yet but she is totally reeling me in. “Every minute I spend with you pulls me closer to your flame, Emily. I feel like a moth being drawn in to you. I know that sounds cheesy, but it’s the only way I can describe to you how I feel. I know it’s dangerous for my heart, because you don’t do relationships, but I can’t stay away. You have a light in you that makes everybody feel special, including me. You are an amazing, adorable, foul mouthed, breathtakingly beautiful woman. Thank you for giving up time from your vacation to spend it with a stupid jarhead like me.”
“Thank you, Jonathan, but if you knew what was going on in my world right now, you wouldn’t be saying these things—in fact you would be running back down that hill and as far away from me as you could get.”
“Why don’t you tell me what’s going on in your world and let me decide if I want to run or not?”
I can feel her shaking as she steps away from me and turns toward the view. I can tell she needs a moment and if that’s what I have to give her to think this through and realize we actually have something here, then so be it. She turns back around and exhales a deep breath before she says, “I don’t want to tell you, Jonathan. I just want to enjoy this week before we both leave and not worry about the reality that lies ahead for either one of us. Do you think we can do that? With no expectations?”
“If this week is all that I get of you, Emily, then yes, I can do that. Let’s enjoy every moment we can. It’s Monday. When do you guys leave?”
“We head back on Memorial Day, so a week from today.”
“That�
�s perfect because we report back on Tuesday morning. Let’s just have our own little adventure. You and me…one week…no expectations. What do you say?”
“Sounds good,” she says meekly.
Trying to lighten the mood I take a note from Emily’s book and put my hand up and say, “Don’t leave me hanging, Em.”
With a roll of her eyes she plays along and gives me the high five I’m waiting for. As her hand hits mine I grab it and pull her to me and into a hug where I smell her hair again. I know I’m lame, but I only get a week and I am taking advantage of every second.
As she looks over my shoulder she asks, “Uh, Jonathan, why is there a random mailbox up here?”
Releasing her I walk over to the mailbox that sits up here with the flagpole and open it.
“I wish I knew the real answer to that but I do know that people leave little flags in here and there is always a journal and a pen so people can record that they were here,” I say as I pull out the journal and a pen. “Hey, we should commemorate our time here today by signing the journal.”
I open the journal and write in the first empty spot I see. When I finish I put the pen in the book so the page is marked for Emily.
She takes the journal from me and I see her read the words that I wrote…
Jonathan Kelly of Savannah, GA – May24th 2010 - I am here with the most beautiful girl I have ever met, and I am hoping she kisses me back when I kiss her in just a minute. Wish me luck, J
Without writing her message in the journal, Emily places the pen back inside and puts the journal back in the mail box and closes it. She turns around to me and whispers, “Give it a shot and let’s see what happens.”
Not waiting another second for her to change her mind, I step forward and grab her face with both hands and stare into those beautiful blue eyes of hers. I take one of my thumbs and brush it over her bottom lip as the pace of her breathing starts to pick up. I softly bring my lips to hers and she instantly parts for me and kisses me right back. And there it is…that electricity…that connection. It’s that electricity that I feel every time I touch her, only this is about to burn a hole right through me. I close my eyes and hope that if this is a dream it never ends. Our kiss is soft and gentle and even though I want to rip her clothes off and explore every inch of her, I also want to take my time and enjoy what I’ve been waiting to do for two days now.