by Lisa Shelby
Not only did he make this gift for her, but he took the night off of work so he could spend the evening with us. Now the poor man sits in the living room with my annoying big brother while he endures a five-year old’s fashion show.
It's really his fault though.
He did all of this.
He had to know what he was getting himself into.
Ireland walks back into her room after showing her last dress off to the boys, and she makes a point of shutting her door.
She climbs up into my lap and says, "Momma, can I tell you what I wished for when I blowed out my candles?"
Chapter 46
Jonathan
Mick goes to grab us each a beer, and I hear a light knocking. Then I hear Ireland say, "Momma?"
My heart instantly starts to pound in my chest because Ireland doesn't sound happy, and she was just beaming with pride in her last princess dress. What could have happened between now and then?
As I approach her in the hallway I squat down to her level. "What's goin' on, Princess?"
"I made momma cry." She’s calling Emily momma and not mommy. That’s a sign that something’s wrong.
"Why do you think you made her cry?"
"Well, I know I wasn't supposed to but I told her my birfday wish. I thought it would make her happy, and if she knew I was wishing for it she could wish for it too," she says so low that I can barely hear her.
She suddenly seems shy. Her tiny hands are clasped in front of her and she’s looking down at them. She doesn’t seem to want to look me in the eye. What in the world did she wish for that would have Emily in tears, and Ireland seem so shy?
"What did you wish for, sweetie?"
She lifts those big warm eyes up to mine. She takes a breath and blows it out so she can get one of her wild curls out of her face. She starts to speak, but stops and looks down again before she softly says, "I wished that you, me, mommy and Frances could all be a family together."
I can’t breathe.
This little girl has brought me to my knees figuratively and quite literally. I’ve fallen forward out of my squatting position and on to my knees. I instinctively pull Ireland in for a hug, and silently thank her for what she’s just given me.
I feel like Superman right now. I honestly feel like I could stop a speeding train or fly into the night’s sky. It’s as though Ireland’s belief in me is all I need to do any of those things. My moment of elation ebbs as I remember this wish has Emily hiding in her room crying. I’m not sure how I should be taking that, but I suddenly feel a little less like I could fly.
"You aren't mad?" She asks with sad eyes and I realize I haven’t verbally replied to her statement. I hate to see her looking so sad when she’s made me so happy.
"No, Princess, not at all. In fact, I think that is the best wish I have ever heard. I hope you know how important you are to me Ireland. Thank you for your wish and I hope one day both of our wishes come true. Now let me go check on your momma, and you go show Uncle Mick your dress again. It's very pretty by the way," I say as I give her a kiss on the top of her head.
“Em…” I say as I gently knock on her bedroom door. “Can I come in?”
“Yes,” I hear her sniff out behind the door.
I cautiously open the door and poke my head in, unsure of what I might find. I’m a combination of nerves right now. I’m still riding high from Ireland’s confession, but I’m afraid my heart is about to be trampled on by the love of my life.
I see her sitting in the middle of her bed with her back against the headboard and her knees pulled up to her chest. There is still a steady stream of tears cascading down her face. I close the door behind me. I take a seat next to her and hand her the box of tissues that I grabbed from the bathroom before I came in. Just like her, I sit against the headboard with my legs pulled into my chest and my eyes straight ahead and give her a minute before I speak.
“You okay, baby?”
“I don’t know,” she sniffs reaching for another tissue.
I inhale and exhale out as calmly as I can so that she can’t see that I am petrified to have this conversation with her. Things have been perfect the last month and a half, but her behavior has me rattled and I’m not sure how to handle the situation. I’m the guy that always wears his heart on his sleeve though, so I can’t let it linger and I just dive right in. Might as well rip off the band-aid.
“Ireland told me what she wished for and…” Emily cuts me off before I can continue as she gasps and puts her hand over her mouth.
“I am so sorry,” she sobs out after removing her hand from her mouth and taking both of her hands to cover her face.
“Sorry? Why are you sorry? Because that was one of the best birthday wishes I have ever heard. Are you sorry because you don’t feel the same way that Ireland does?” I don’t mean to sound cold, but I can hear the sharpness to my tone as I ask the question.
Emily turns her body towards me and tucks her legs underneath herself and kneels on her knees and waits for me to turn and meet her eyes with mine.
“No, it’s not that Georgia. I swear! Hearing her wish made me feel so sorry for her. I feel horrible that my little girl has grown up without a father and has to wish for a family. That nearly did me in. It reminded me that no matter how hard I try, my daughter still feels like she’s missing something, and she’s only five. A five-year-old shouldn’t have to make those wishes, Jonathan.”
This I get. But why do I feel like there’s more to it?
“I also don’t want you to feel any pressure from either one of us. I especially don’t want you to want to take that next step because my daughter has you wrapped around her little finger. If we take that next step, I want it to be for the right reasons. I also don’t want to get her hopes up for something that may not be in her future,” I start to protest but Emily lifts her finger to my lips and continues to explain.
“I don’t mean that because I have doubts about you, Jonathan. It’s myself I worry about. I have never even been in a long term relationship let alone talked about the ‘M’ word. What if I mess this up? What if I am just no good at this and it doesn’t work out? I have no idea what I’m doing, Jonathan. I know I love you and I don’t want to be with anybody else. I also know that I am in this for as long as you’ll have me.” She takes a breath and says, “When I look at my future, it’s you I see. I’m just so scared that I am going to mess us up.”
“Well, I guess it’s my job to find a way to prove to you that I’m not going anywhere no matter what happens. Neither one of us are perfect, and we’re both going to make mistakes. As long as we’re both faithful and honest with each other, we aren’t going to be able to mess us up bad enough for me to walk away from you. I would ‘M’ word you tonight if I thought you were ready, but you aren’t and I’m okay with that. Please just remember that you can talk to me about anything. If something’s bothering you or you’re scared, don’t hide it from me. No secrets, no lies. Just truth between us…always. Let’s start with that. What do ya say?”
She nods her head and says, “I love you, Georgia. Thanks for being so patient with me.”
“Whatever you need, baby. You and me. We’re in this together.”
Chapter 47
Emily
“Merry Christmas Eve, baby,” Jonathan says as he sits across from me on the floor in front of the Christmas tree; the tree that the three of us decorated together. Jonathan and I are getting some alone time as Mick takes Ireland to afternoon holiday tea at the Heathman. He really is the best brother ever. Tea was his idea, and Ireland couldn’t have been more excited to get dressed up and have a date with her uncle.
“Merry Christmas Eve, handsome,” I reply back playfully. “So what are we going to do with hours alone with just the two of us?” I ask as I lean forward and try to devour him with my lips.
He kisses me back, but I can tell his whole heart isn’t into it. “What’s wrong, Georgia?”
“Uh…nothing…nothing’s wrong
, Em. I just wanted to give you one of your presents now while it’s just you and me.”
“I thought we were doing presents in the morning with Ireland?”
“We are, it’s just for this one…for this one I wanted it to be just us,” he says as he reaches up into the tree and pulls a thin foot long box out from its hiding place amongst the branches. “Here you go, baby.”
I swear I see him shaking as he hands it to me. I take it out of his hands as quick as I can just to end his misery. He’s clearly on edge about this gift, and frankly I’m starting to feel edgy myself.
“Open it,” he says impatiently.
Under the ribbon in the center of the box is a card that says, ‘Gracie’ on it. I look up at him and give him a little smile, but his face remains serious. I open the little envelope and as I start to read the card Jonathan speaks the words aloud for me.
“No regrets, Gracie. Live today like it’s your last and along the way kick some ass,” he leans in and whispers in my ear the next line written on the card. “I’ll love you always and forever and wherever I may be. Love, Your Georgia.”
I love him so much, but I’m incredibly confused and he can tell by the look on my face.
“Before you opened this, I wanted you to hear the words that you live by to remind you to live life to the fullest. I also wanted you to hear words that I live by so that you know that no matter what you say after you open this gift, I’m still here and I still love you. I’m not going anywhere, Em.”
Now even more confused I just stare at the flat, thin, foot long box in my hand. It’s clearly not a ring box, and he isn’t down on one knee so I couldn’t be more confused.
“Just open it,” he prompts me. He seems a bit more at ease, and there’s finally a smile on his gorgeous face.
I wish I felt more at ease because I am scared to death.
I untie the ribbon and slide the lid off the box. Thank God there isn’t any wrapping paper on it to draw this whole thing out any longer. Once the lid is off, I open the tissue paper inside and see a key and a pink dog leash. I’m not sure exactly what I am looking at, and I just keep staring at it not believing that he is asking what I think he is. He doesn’t give me too long to think about the items in the box when he hops up and holds a hand out to me. He helps me to my feet, but doesn’t let go of my hand.
“Before you say anything, I have a few things to show you.”
He guides me to the hallway that leads to his bedroom, but he stops in front of the office door next to it. He opens the door and I cannot believe the transformation in this room. It went from a dark, messy catch all to a soft, light, comfortable living space complete with a beautiful white desk, shelves and book cases.
“I thought this would be a nice place for you to study and grade papers.”
I walk into the middle of the room and cannot believe what I’m seeing. The shelves are partially filled with some of my favorite books, as well as framed pictures of Ireland, Jonathan and I. It finally hits me that he hasn’t really let me over here much the last two or three weeks.
“Is this why you’ve kept me away lately? You were making me an office?”
“Shhh…there’s more,” he says as he takes my hand and leads me across the hall to the spare bedroom aka his home gym.
He opens the door, flips on the light and steps aside. “What do you think? Do you think she’ll like it?”
If I thought the office was amazing, then I was mistaken because this room…this room is fit for a princess.
“Oh my God! Jonathan! What have you done? Did you do all this yourself?” I practically screech as I turn and take in the dreamiest room that any little girl could ever hope for.
“I did, but I got some advice from your mom, Cami, Alex and Gabby when it came to some of the decorations. But I did do it all myself.”
I am so gobsmacked that I let the fact that all the girls knew about this go by. I can’t take my eyes off every little detail of this room. The walls are painted a light pale green and there are light pink accents everywhere. The bed in the center of the room is what little girl’s dreams are made of. It’s white and covered in pink, fluffy bedding with throw pillows galore. To top it all off it has sheer white netting that hangs down on the sides of the headboard and looks like it can be pulled around the bed. There are adorable white curtains and a little white sofa with a fluffy pink rug in front of it. He also remembered to include a bean bag chair similar to the one at Mick’s. There are so many other decorations and little details that I know I’m not taking it all in right now. There is just too much to look at.
My vision starts to blur from the tears pooling in my eyes. He is asking me what I thought he was. I turn to him to answer him, but I am shushed by the shake of his head and the kiss he places on my lips.
“One more room,” he says taking my hand yet again and opening the French doors to his bedroom.
The changes to this room, are a bit more subtle, but still they make such a difference. The room is still masculine yet soft at the same time. He’s added throw pillows and blankets to the bed in feminine colors that blend perfectly with his beige bedding. On the wall above the fireplace is a large, framed, black and white picture of me and Ireland from our day at the zoo back in October. We aren’t looking at the camera, but at each other, and we both have the biggest smiles on our faces. At first glance I already know it’s my new favorite picture. On the dresser there is a framed picture of just me and one of Jonathan and I together in Savannah. To say I am overwhelmed with love would be an understatement.
Still holding my hand, he guides me into the master bathroom where I see my favorite lotion on the counter.
“Open the first drawer on your right.”
I follow his instructions and inside are several of my favorite products, as well as hair ties like I use at home. For kicks, I open the next drawer down and find an assortment of sticky notes along with a blue and a black pen. I look at him like he is a crazy person and he just chuckles. “There’s more.”
“How can there be more Jonathan? You’ve done so much.”
“Almost done, baby,” he says with a subtle smile.
I walk around the huge bathroom and notice that next to the shower there is a new, big, white, fuzzy robe hanging off of a brushed pewter dragonfly hook. Below the robe are matching slippers. The robe is hanging next to the shower. A shower that is already supplied with my shampoo, conditioner and body wash as well as a new pink loofa.
I remember in this moment that I still have my key and my leash in my hand. “Is this my key? Are you asking me what I think you are?”
“Well, if you think that I am asking you to make my house a home then yes, you would be right. That’s not just a key, Emily, I want this to be your home and Ireland’s too. I want this to be our home.”
“And the leash?” I ask as I dangle it from my fingers. For some reason all of this has me feeling confident and loved. Surprisingly I’m calm and a bit horny. It doesn’t feel rushed, it just feels right.
“Well, Frances just wanted you to know that she was on board, and that she wants you two to move in as well. She wanted both of us to have a leash, just in case,” he shrugs.
“That was awfully sweet of Frances. Tell her thank you for her thoughtfulness,” I say with a bit of a Southern drawl. I’m feeling playful and confident after receiving my gifts.
I can tell he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop; for me to protest and say it’s too soon.
Just as I’m about to accept his proposal—that’s not a proposal—he rushes to speak before I get a chance.
With his arms wrapped around my waist and my hands around his neck he says, “Gracie, I want all of you and I want it for a lifetime. I know you may not be ready for the that big final step, but I do want you…all of you. I want to wake up to your big messed up hair and that dreamy, sleepy smile you get when you say good morning to me. As far as your smiles go, baby, I want them all. I want your giggles and your snores,” I start
to protest but he covers my mouth with his hand and continues. “because you do snore. Your high fives and your freckles. I want your past and your future, your fears and your dreams. I want to make you laugh until you cry, and I want to call you mine. Forever and always, baby. I will want all of you forever and always, and I would love it if you and Ireland would make my house a home. What do you say?”
“Of course,” is all I say as I take his hand and lead him out of the room. “We’ll have to talk to Ireland first, but it’s a yes from me, Georgia.”
“Do you think she’ll like her room?” he says sounding worried.
“I’m sure she will, but we’ll worry about her room another time.”
I step into the office and pull my dress over my head. Revealing his early Christmas gift, I stand in front of him in my red and white lingerie that leaves little to the imagination. “We’ll save the bed for later when we have more time. Right now I want to christen my new desk.”
I barely get my last word out when his lips crash into mine, and he kisses me harder than he ever has before. While his lips bruise mine, and his tongue invades my mouth, his hands roam all over my body. When he reaches my ass, he finally pulls away, and turns me around to find the big red bow that is tied on the back to make me look like a present. A present that is all for him.
“Good God, woman, you are perfect! I love you so much, and I can’t wait to make you happy every day for the rest of your life.”
He stops talking and brings his lips to my ear. He takes a little nibble before he whispers, “You look so fucking hot, baby. I can’t wait to get you on top of this desk and inside of you. I am so fucking hard.”
His words trigger a reaction in me that I can’t control as I turn around and practically rip his shirt off of him when I pull it over his head. The moment his shirt is gone, his lips are leaving a hot trail down my neck and to my chest. I’m tearing open his pants in an almost panic to get him naked. He suddenly lifts me by the hips and places me on top of the beautiful white desk. He leaves me on display and he takes a step back to take off the rest of his clothes when I hear him moan. It’s a moan that almost sounds like a growl, and I see why when I notice where his eyes are. I don’t have any panties on, and he is going to have easy access. I think he approves.