by Lisa Shelby
I knew I was going to see her tonight at the reception and I couldn’t wait. To say it took me by surprise that as soon as I saw her she gave me a hug and then told me how excited she was to introduce me to her friend, Amber, would be an understatement. I know it shouldn’t—because we aren’t together—but it felt like she had just sucker punched me. I was excited to see her and she was excited to set me up with somebody. I guess she didn’t miss me as much as I missed her. And, well…that fucking sucks.
Nope, she didn’t seem to miss me at all. She took me by the hand and walked me over to Amber who was helping set up the buffet. The moment she laid her bloodthirsty eyes on me she seemed to follow me around like a freaking puppy. She was cute enough. Short, blonde hair and a banging body, but I couldn’t have been less interested. And Alex, well she was gone the moment she introduced us. She couldn’t leave us alone fast enough. I don’t think I could feel any shittier.
For the moment, I’ve managed to shake the Amber chick and am sharing a drink with my fellow groomsman when I look out on the dance floor. The moment my eyes land on my baby sister I can feel myself turning red. Red with uncontrollable rage.
What. The. Fuck.
Why is my sister grinding all over Jonathan Kelly? Did I miss something? Since when does Emily bump and grind? In front of a crowd no less? Kelly really should remove his fucking hands from my sister’s fucking body if he wants to live to see another fucking day.
I left him to watch over her, and it seems he’s taking that job pretty damn seriously.
Is this really fucking happening?
Does he not realize that I’m going to fucking kill him? Right here. Right now.
The God-forsaken song they are getting nasty to finally ends. I turn to bitch to Martinez and he’s not there. I didn’t even notice that everybody had left my table, and I’m standing here alone with my arms crossed over my chest seething. I see the moment Emily catches my eye and realizes that I just caught the show she and Kelly put on for the entire place to see. She’s hauling ass over to me because she knows she has some damage control to do.
By the time she’s standing in front of my table, worrying her necklace like she does, looking nervous as hell, I can’t wait to bust her balls. I’ll deal with Kelly later.
“So, Emmers…is there something you want to tell me?” I can hear the venom spewing from my grinding teeth, but I can’t help it. I cannot fucking believe Kelly and my little sister were practically having sex on the dance floor.
“Mick, we were just dancing. Not sure what you mean?”
Let the lying commence. This is un-fucking-believable.
“I’m not stupid, Em, and if that was a just a dance…in public…at a wedding…then I am going to kill Kelly right here and now! But I think there was more to it than that. Are you guys together, Em?” Just as I finish asking the question Kelly reaches us and is standing right behind Emily.
“What? No Mick! You know I don’t do relationships. He’s just some fun for now. He’s a really nice guy and I deserve some fun, don’t I?”
I look over her head and see the genuine hurt that crosses Kelly’s face and realize this whole thing is a much bigger deal than I could have ever imagined. “Fuck this,” Jonathan says as he turns and takes off out of the grand ballroom. Emily’s face falls. There is clearly much more going on here than just a dirty dance at a wedding.
“I think somebody else may have had a different answer to my question, Emmers,” I can’t help but feel kinda bad for her. But what the hell is going on here?
Emily turns and runs after him. Clearly big brother is being left in the dark. Since when do Emily and Kelly have a thing so serious that he would be this upset and she would run after him? I was only gone a week, right?
Just as Emily runs out the door Alex walks in. Bam! She is a fucking sight. I was so upset that she wanted to hook me up with her friend that I didn’t even notice how great she looked tonight. She always looks great, but shit, she is killing it in a green dress that seems to wrap and gather at one side. It clings to her body and shows everything she has to offer without being slutty. She looks totally professional yet sexy all at once. God, this woman is killing me. Her legs…her legs in those heels are simply…perfection.
I don’t even realize that I’m staring until she’s standing right in front of me.
“Mick, what’s going on? Why did Emily just run out of here crying?” She asks breaking the spell I was under while I watched her cross the room.
“To be honest, Alex, I have no idea. Em and Jonathan were just out on the dance floor bumping and grinding and putting on a show for the whole place. As if that weren’t enough when I asked her what was going on, she lied and said she was just having some fun. But the way he stormed out of here after hearing her say that leads me to believe there’s more to the story.”
I can tell by the look on her face that there most certainly is more to the story and Alex knows all about it.
“You have got to be kidding me! You know? How have you known this and not told me? I tell you everything, Alex. How could you keep something about my sister from me?”
She puts her hand on my arm to calm me, and as much as I want to push her off of me, I don’t. She does calm me. Just being in her presence calms me, but when she touches me, all my anxiety seems to melt away and something different takes hold. I’m not sure exactly what it is but it’s different and fierce and it takes a hold of me. All of me.
“Mick, it’s not my story to tell. There’s a history there and I do know all about it, but it’s not my place to tell you.” As she talks her hand slides down my arm and she takes my hand in hers. “You and I are friends and we do share things, but it doesn’t mean I can break your sister’s confidence. I know you’re upset right now. I also know you love Emily enough to realize her happiness is what’s important.”
I don’t know how she does it, but I’m no longer seething. I’m more pissed that other people seem to know what’s going on and I don’t!
“Am I that much of an ass that she couldn’t tell me about him?”
“No, but you are her big brother. You also happen to think that nobody will ever be good enough for her, especially a cop. Not just any cop, but a cop that works in your department and that you call friend.” I hate that she’s making sense. “You also have been known to get into a fight or two in your day, Mick. Why would she want to put him in that position?” What is it about this woman? I was good and pissed and she has just sucked all the fun out of my current mood. I was ready to brawl, and now all that pent-up aggression is fading away.
“I guess you’re right. But why does she have to date a friend? A friend who’s a cop on top of that? She knows what this life can be like, Alex.” Saying what is really at the crux of the matter, I realize it’s this life and what it can do to a person. I don’t want Emily to have any more stress and worry than she already has. The life of a police officer can be scary at times and I want so much more for her and Ireland. If he weren’t a cop—and my friend—Kelly is exactly the kind of guy I would want Emily to be with.
“He’s a really good guy, Mick. You need to let her tell you her story and maybe you’ll feel differently.”
Her phone pings letting her know that she has an incoming text.
“Shoot, sorry Mick, but I have to go deal with the DJ. Listen, it’s all gonna be okay and I think when you hear her story you might feel differently about all this.” She lets go of my hand and starts to dash away. About ten steps away she looks over her shoulder and says, “Text or call me tomorrow and let me know how things go with Amber.”
And just like that she deals me another blow.
I have no interest in this Amber chick. Come to think of it…I haven’t had an interest in anybody in weeks. The only woman I think about is the one in the green dress currently walking away from me. The view is fan-fucking-tastic, but I feel an instant loneliness when she leaves. I’m really not sure how much more of this I can take.
&n
bsp; How did this night go from great to miserable?
I feel so far removed from my own life and those I care about. I would never set Alex up with somebody else. How does that seem okay to her? Does that mean that she wouldn’t mind if I was going out and hooking up with randoms like I used to? My ass hits the nearest chair, and I rub my hands over my face trying to shake my disbelief. I just don’t get how we could feel so differently about each other. I mean I know we aren’t ‘together’ but there is still something there. Isn’t there?
My situation with Alex is at least something that is somewhat familiar to me. I have always felt as though I was floundering when it comes to this woman. But not my little sister! Emily and I have always been close. How is it that I have no idea that she has a thing with my co-worker? A thing that apparently goes back further than this past week. What the hell? What’s next? Is my mom going to tell me she ran off and eloped with somebody I’ve never met? I mean seriously, what is going on with the women in my life?
The reception is starting to wind down and Wesley and Tricia are preparing to leave. Just as we’re all about to gather by the ballroom doors to send them off with bubbles as they make their way out of the hotel, Emily walks back in. She looks lost. I leave the line of guests to help her find her way. Right now, that way is to me, her big brother. I’m tired of being out of the loop and I need to get to the bottom of all of this. When I reach her she looks up at me while her blue eyes sparkle with tears.
“Come here, Emmers.” I can tell that she’s worried that I’m still upset, but how can I be. She’s my baby sister and she’s clearly in pain. I take her into my arms, rub her back and tell her it’s going to be okay. Because my sister is one tough cookie, she inhales a deep breath and blows out a shaky one. She wipes her face and stands tall. I keep my arm around her shoulders and we join the other guests to watch the bride and groom leave.
After we cheer on the happy couple and watch everybody blow bubbles in their direction, I keep my arm around Emily and guide her back to her table. There we find Cami and Emily’s purse.
“Hey Cam, I’m gonna give you and Emily a lift home.”
I can see the confusion cross Cami’s face. She didn’t see what went down with Emily and Jonathan, but as soon as Emily looks at her friend her eyes start to well with more tears.
“Oh, chica. What happened?”
“Cami, I messed it all up again. I don’t want to talk about it here though. I just want to go home.” Emily turns her gaze to me and pleads with me. “Can we please leave?”
“Of course. Cami, you ready?”
Cami walks over to my heartbroken little sister and links arms with her. “Let’s get our girl home, Mick.”
I let the girls walk at their own pace and I walk ahead of them so that they can talk. I have the truck ready and waiting for them when they get there.
“Mick, your truck is dumb!” Cami says as she struggles to climb into the cab of my lifted 2500 in her dress and heels.
“Hey, didn’t your mother teach you that if you didn’t have anything nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all? Besides, I’m not a short stack like you and I have no problem getting into my truck. Here, let me give you a boost.”
“Mickey Jacobs, if you cop a feel helping me into this god-forsaken truck, you will be sorry.”
“Only in your wildest dreams, Cameron Holsted.” I say as I grab her by the waist to lift her into the back of the cab. Before she can sit down, I can’t help myself and I give her a little slap on her ass.
“Mickey! Damn you! Keep your hands to yourself!”
I chuckle as I hop into the driver’s seat. That is until I look at Emily in the passenger seat back to looking lost. She looks like the love of her life has just left her, and I cannot for the life of me figure out how she can look like she does. I was only gone a week. I reach over and tug on one of her long curls but she doesn’t even turn to look at me.
I catch Cami’s eye in the rearview mirror and she just shakes her head back and forth.
The drive to Cami’s is a quiet one. Once we get to her place, I help her out and shut the door. “Cami, what is going on with Emmers and Jonathan?”
“Mick, you need to let her tell you. She told me what happened tonight and she feels horrible. She’s ready to tell you. You just have to give her a minute to breathe. Just continue being that amazing brother that you are and support her, Mick. Remember that her happiness is what’s important. She deserves to be happy more than any of us.”
“I agree, Cam. I promise to hear her out and I won’t push. I’ve just never seen her look so lost.”
“I have. She’ll get through this and they’ll figure it out. You may not realize how important your role in her life is though, Mick. What you think means the world to her, so please be cool.” She beckons me with her finger and I bend down to get closer to her level. She places a kiss on my cheek and says, “Take good care of our girl. She needs you tonight.”
I wait until Cami’s inside and then I jump back into the truck. “Emmers, you wanna talk about it?”
That was all it took. I hadn’t even started the engine yet. Once she started her story that started just over five years ago in San Clemente, she didn’t stop. I’m turned in my seat staring at my sister in disbelief. Disbelief that my friend and co-worker turns out to be the love of her life and that she met him years ago. Hearing that she met him the week after she found out she was pregnant with my niece and that she was too afraid to tell him or try to be with him after that week; my heart breaks for her, and quite frankly for him too. To hear how badly our father’s treatment of our mother has affected her isn’t a surprise to me, but I am a little stunned that it could stop her from being in a relationship with somebody that meant so much to her.
To know what was happening at Kells that night while I was preoccupied with Alex blows my mind. So much was happening right under my nose and I missed it all. When she tells me that she finally told Jonathan about Ireland and that he still wanted to try and to get to know her, but she let Courtney and her own insecurities get in the way, I’m suddenly frustrated. I keep my mouth shut and let her carry on with her story.
To find out that in a way it’s because of me that Jonathan ended up spending the week with Emmers, and that this gave them another shot at getting to know each other, makes me want to give my sister one of her famous high fives. At the same time, knowing her fear that I wouldn’t approve or that I would want to kick Jonathan’s ass is what caused her current state of heartbreak makes me feel like a dick.
She assures me that it’s not my fault, and that it’s really more about her fear of relationships and her own insecurities, yet I know that a small piece of this is because she was worried about my reaction. She finishes her story by telling me about their one-sided fight in the parking garage and how hurt and betrayed Jonathan felt. I have to say, I get it. He has really put himself out there, is willing to give her a chance at something real, and knows that Ireland is part of the package. I don’t say it out loud but, I am leaning towards Team Kelly right about now.
On a heavy puff of air, my heartbroken sister, who has been staring out the windshield, turns to face me. She’s waiting for me to react, but I only have one question.
“Do you love him? Right now, sitting in this truck, after hearing the things he said to you tonight before he took off. After everything, do you love him?”
“He’s the love of my life, Mick.”
That’s all I need to hear. “Well, then what are you going to do to make this right?”
“You’re okay with this?”
“It’ll take some time to get used to but he’s a good man, Em. I knew he had been through a lot but now knowing that he lost you along with everything else…I don’t know how he’s kept it together. I know what it’s like to have you in my life, and I can’t imagine if you just disappeared on me. Jonathan’s willing to give you a chance. He’s ready to take on a single mom and her daughter. I love you, little sist
er, but I get why he’s so pissed. You need to give him some time to cool off, but I know he’ll come around.”
“You think so?”
“Of course he will. You and Ireland are hard to resist. He would be crazy to walk away from the two of you. You need to tell him how you feel though. Stop being afraid to share yourself with him. You both deserve to be happy. Stop getting in your own way.”
“Wow.” She seems surprised and shocked by my reaction. “Thanks for being so supportive, Mick. It really means a lot.”
I start the engine and set us in the direction of home. All this talk of finding the love of your life has my mind spinning. Of course, Alex is all that I can think of. I’ve never thought of what I feel for her as the L-word but I know that I feel strongly for her. I know that tonight, when she tried to set me up with that Amber chick, it hurt. It hurt bad. I can’t imagine how bad it would hurt to be in the situation that Emily and Jonathan are in.
To think that my dad had love like this and threw it all away is truly mind boggling. I’m so pissed at him right now. I wish he knew what he’s done to Emily. Not that he would care. All he cares about is himself.
I’m starting to think that all of my dad’s talk about men not being made for monogamy is a bunch of bull shit. I always looked up to him, but the older I get the more I realize he really messed up, and what he’s done to our family is unforgivable. Yet, I forgave him. I feel like such an idiot.
Out of the corner of my eye I can see Emily watching her phone. She must have texted him and he’s not replying. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long night.
Chapter 8
Alex
Setting Mick up with Amber and acting like I thought it was the best idea in the world was enough to make me want to throw up. Telling him to call me and let me know how it went with Amber nearly gutted me. I just had to keep walking without looking back. The tears that were pooling in my eyes weren’t for him to see, and they weren’t for me to shed. I gathered myself as I approached the DJ booth and did what I always do. Put on my mask and act like my life was perfect.