by Lisa Shelby
“Mick?”
“Alex?”
“Thank you.”
“Once again, it was my pleasure.”
“As long as we’re on the same page. You think you got all of this? You need anything else while I’m here?”
I don’t want to leave. Playing house with her these last couple of days was better than I could have dreamed it would be. Everything with her is so easy. Her presence makes me feel lighter in some strange way. Having Emily, Ireland and Alex under my roof at the same time reminds me that there is still good in this world. At work, I deal with that 1% of people that aren’t good, but when that becomes your norm it’s hard to remember that not everybody is that fucked up.
“We’re on the same page and I don’t need anything else.”
She gives my hand a squeeze and goes to let go, but I pull her into a hug. “You call me or text me or FaceTime or carrier pigeon me if you need anything at all.”
“Mick, go. Go be Mickey Jacobs and rule the world. I’ll see you at your place on Friday night to ring in the New Year. If you change your mind and I can bring anything just let me know. And don’t forget I’m gonna be late because I have to work the first half of Olivia’s party that night. I’ll be there before midnight though.”
“All you need to bring is yourself. Make sure you come straight from work so you don’t miss the countdown.”
“Will do. Now get out of here.”
I pull her into a hug and find my spot in the curve of her neck and take a big inhale. I let her go and let myself out. The entire drive home I’m on autopilot. I don’t even know which route I took to get there.
When I enter the house, the cloud of loneliness that I feel looming over me as I walk through all of the empty rooms of my home is immense. All of my girls are gone, and I’m back to life with Frank. I don’t want my old life back. I want a house full of noise and important people.
It’s in this moment that I realize that it’s been months since I’ve had sex. Since the night that Alex climbed into my lap at Riley’s I haven’t been interested in anybody else. How do I make her see that I can change? I’m not my father. I refuse to be him.
There’s a reason I don’t go by Michael, Mike or Junior. I don’t want to be associated with his reputation. He’s an alcoholic womanizer. I watched him break my mom’s heart, and in the process, my baby sister’s. I may have gone into his line of work but I will never be him.
Walking through the house I’m surrounded by reminders of my girls, thanks to Alex. I’m not sure if she realizes how much her Christmas gift meant to me. Well, it was more than one gift but the way she packaged them together as one was pretty great.
“What the hell is that?” I ask as Alex brings a huge stack of wrapped packages out of her room.
“It’s your Christmas present,” she says with a silly grin. Oh, this woman and her face. Every expression she makes fills me with a new emotion. I don’t do emotions, so it’s getting a bit exhausting to keep up with myself, but I don’t ever want it to stop.
“What in the world is it?”
“Well, that would ruin all the fun, now wouldn’t it? Good thing you have a big truck and plenty of room. Now let’s get back to your place so you can open it!”
Once we’re back at my house, the girls and Jonathan are back too. Alex, insists on carrying the gift inside herself so I take her big, pink girly bag that she’s packed. With the bag thrown over my shoulder she gives me a little smile and I say, “Oh, I know I make this shit look good, girl.” I blow her a little kiss and then open the door for her.
Once we’ve said our hello’s Alex and I are back in front of the tree, only this time Ireland sits in Alex’s lap while her mom and Jonathan watch from the couch.
The gift is a stack of different sized flat packages. Each is individually wrapped and then tied all together with twine. It looks too cool to unwrap but with four sets of eyes on me I don’t think I have a choice.
“Come on, Uncle Mickey! Open! Open!”
“Hold your horses, Ireland. I was just admiring the nice wrap job Alex did here. Besides, I have to read the card first.”
Mick,
Thank you so much for always being there for me and everybody else.
Your new home is beautiful, but it needs a little something.
Hoping these make your house more of a home.
Merry Christmas,
Alex
As I read her card, I can’t help but think to myself that having the girls and Alex in my house did make it feel like a home.
I take the smallest item from the top of the pile and unwrap the red paper to reveal a framed 5x7 picture of me holding Ireland in my arms while she laughs hysterically from the tickle attack I’m giving her. The picture is black and white and perfect. I pull my gaze from the picture and look into her warm, dark eyes. Beautiful eyes that take my breath away every time I find them staring back at me. She’s smiling a shy, almost embarrassed smile. Holding Ireland in her lap…She. Is. Perfect.
“Uncle Mickey, show us!” Ireland begs as she bounces up and down in Alex’s lap. I turn the picture around so that she can see it and she beams ear to ear. “It’s you and me! And a tickle attack!” Looking over her shoulder at Alex, she says, “I love it, Auntie Alex!”
“Ah, thanks sweetheart. You’re the perfect model! Now, your uncle has lots more to open so why don’t you pass that over to your mommy so she can see it.”
Next, I open an 8x10 of Ireland, in one of her favorite princess dresses, blowing out her birthday candles. The way the picture blurs out the background and only focuses on Ireland’s angelic little face and the glowing candles in front of her is extraordinary. After that I unwrap another 8x10 but this one is of Emily. She’s laughing and has no idea that the camera is focused on her. Again, her work is extraordinary. The third 8x10 has two different pictures in it. One is of a Portland Police car and the other a Portland Police badge. Two words come to mind. Pride and cool.
“Alex, these are amazing,” I tell her and I mean every word of it. These aren’t just snapshots. These pictures are pure art. I may be biased because of the subject matter, but the way she captures the most endearing qualities of the girls is something pretty special.
“Thank you, but keep going!” She says, excitedly.
The next red package is even larger and contains an 11x14 of my man, Frank.
“Frank, looking good buddy!” I say as I turn the picture in his direction to show him just how much of a stud he truly is. As if that weren’t enough, next is another big 11x14 that I unwrap to find a picture of Emily hugging Ireland from behind and kissing her on the cheek. Ireland has the biggest smile on her face and her nose is all scrunched up. Perfection.
Before I can even comment, Jonathan says, “Alex, I will pay you any amount of money you want for a copy of all of these but that one right there…I think I need a poster sized copy of that one.”
Emily chimes in as well. “Alex, they are beautiful. We have to have copies!”
“I’ll see what I can do,” Alex replies with sass.
She’s no longer looking shy and embarrassed. She looks proud. And she should be. Her work is exceptional and looks extremely professional. She should have her own gallery.
“Alex, they aren’t kidding. You’re a genius. To get these two to look this good…well, you are quite the artist,” I say with a wink to Ireland, and I make sure to stick my tongue out and direct it to my little sister.
“Thank you, but you aren’t even done yet! Keep going!” She says. This time she’s the one bouncing Ireland up and down in her lap.
There is another 11x14 on the stack. This one is a black and white photo of downtown Portland but with some of the famous landmarks of the city in color. I freaking love it!
“Alex…where in the world have you been hiding this talent of yours? How have I never seen any of your work before?”
She shrugs and says, “I don’t know. It’s always been something that I do for myself,
but seeing all of your blank walls…well, it inspired me to share some of my work. Your walls are sad and need some love, Mick. Enough about me though, open your last one,” she says looking a little timid again.
This last one is even bigger and as I pick it up I hear Emily say under her breath. “There better not be a picture of me in that huge ass frame. Just sayin’.”
Emily doesn’t have to worry about seeing her face in the large frame because what is in this frame is so unique. I don’t know when she did it but in my hands I hold a massively cool picture of my house, including the front yard. Not only is it a picture of my house but in the middle of this giant black and white photo the only spot of color is Ireland with her arm around Frank as they sit on the top step of the front porch.
“Oh, Alex. It’s so perfect,” Emily says from the couch. Jonathan agrees with Emily and Ireland tells Frank how great they look together.
I haven’t said anything yet. I feel like I’ve already used every complimentary word that I can to describe to her how great her work is. As I look at all the of the black frames filled with the things that mean the most to me, I…Michael Jacobs Jr….am speechless.
Alex interrupts my thoughts of her and how well she knows me when she says, “Now, you don’t have to put this here, but this is sort of what I envisioned when I made the one of the house so big.” She picks up the picture and then sets in on the fireplace mantel and leans it against the wall.
She steps back and we stand shoulder to shoulder as we look at the picture in its new home. I put my arm around her and pull her into my side placing a kiss to her temple. “Alex, it’s absolutely perfect.” Next I whisper into her ear. “You. Are. Perfect. Thank you.”
With tears pooling in her eyes she mouths the words thank you to me. She rests her head on my shoulder and puts her arm around my waist. Our moment is brief but powerful.
Ireland pulls on her free hand and says, “Auntie Alex?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“I really love your pictures.”
“Thank you, Ireland.”
“Do you think you could take pictures of my Frank and Savannah in my new bedroom at my new house?”
Alex bends down so she’s eye level with my niece and the light of my life and says, “I would love to, Ireland. Once you’re settled into your new place we’ll set it all up. Then we can frame the pictures and put them on your new bedroom wall. If that’s okay with Jonathan and your mommy?”
“Oh, thank you, Auntie Alex! I’m so excited!”
She told me to get on with my life. She acted like having her around the last three days was an inconvenience, but she couldn’t be more wrong. I hate the reason we were together, but I loved every second that she spent in my house and in my bed.
I haven’t hidden how I feel about her, but clearly I haven’t fought hard enough to prove to her just how serious I am. I know that my past is something that is going to be hard to overcome. I know that I have been a bit of a man whore throughout my life, and I’ve never been in a committed relationship, but I know that I can be faithful. It’s always been Alex. That’s why I haven’t been able to commit to anybody else. The One has always been out there. Not only was she out there, but she was always around in some way. She was younger and my little sister’s friend. She wasn’t an option, but that didn’t stop me from comparing every other female to her. Nobody else stood a chance with Alexandra Stotts in the world.
It’s time to fight for what I want.
Chapter 16
Alex ~ January
Tapping the toe of my black high-heel I wait, not so patiently, to be given the all clear that I can leave for the night. I promised Olivia I would come in and help her get her client’s New Year’s Eve party set up and make sure that things started off okay. Now it’s 9:30 pm and I’m still here.
I’m itching to get out of here so that I can get to Mick’s.
I don’t know why I’m so excited. It’s only been a couple of days since I last saw him. We text or talk every day, but I just can’t get to his place fast enough. As per usual, when I know I’m going to see Mick, I made sure that I took special care with what I was wearing tonight. Not only did I need to wear something that worked for the party here at the hotel but I wanted to dress to impress for after work too.
I ended up going with a little Alfred Sung Fit and Flare wrap dress. It’s black, sleeveless, V-neck and has a scooped back. The front of the dress is modest with the V-neck and the little sash tied into a small bow on my left side. It’s the scooped back that makes me feel a little sexy. My long hair covers most of my back but I still love it. Because of my height the hem of the flared skirt is about six inches above my knee. But the best part…the best part are the pockets! What is it about a dress with pockets?
I finally get Olivia’s attention and when she sees me still standing over by the DJ—that is now spinning the party tunes that will be playing all over the world at every other New Year’s Eve party—she checks her watch and her eyes open wide when she realizes how late it is and that I’m still here.
She skirts around the dance floor and makes her way to me. “Alex, I am so sorry. I completely lost track of time and the fact that you were still here. You look too damn good to be wasting your New Year’s Eve here at work. Thank you so much for all of your help! I owe you one. Now, get out of here!”
“Thanks, Olivia. You did a great job with the event and I’m sure the rest of the night will go great. If you really are okay, I’m gonna go,” I say already walking backward towards the exit.
“Go! And thanks again!”
I run back to the office and grab my purse. I check my phone and see that I have one text and one voicemail. The text is from Cami.
Cami: Chica! Your pictures are amazeballs! Mick’s place looks so great! Hope you get to leave work soon! See you when you get here.
I can feel my face light up seeing her compliment. I can’t wait to see where he put them all.
Just as I start to leave my office my phone chimes and this time it’s Mick. It’s like he knew I was thinking of him. After the first chime, more chimes alert me to two more messages from him.
Sexy Beast: WHERE ARE YOU?!
Sexy Beast: It’s 9:30 already! :(
Sexy Beast: Hope you get to leave soon. Please drive safe! See you when you get here. I saved you a spot in the driveway.
I throw my coat on and text him that I’m on my way and scurry down to the parking garage. I know it’s silly, but after what almost happened with Kevin I feel a sense of dread when I’m alone. Being in a big, quiet parking garage like this brings on an intense paranoia every time I have to go to my car after work. I don’t know if I jog to my car because I’m scared or because I’m excited to get to Mick’s. I know once I get to Mick’s I’ll be safe. My closest friends are waiting for me, and with this knowledge I feel a rush of exhilaration pulse through my veins. I weave my way in-between cars, trucks, vans and motorcycles and finally reach the safety of my car. Once I’m in, I lock the doors, start the engine and make way towards freedom.
On my way, I listen to the voicemail on my phone. And I light up once again. Just hearing his voice—even if it is whiny—lights me up like a freaking Christmas tree.
“I can’t wait to see you tonight, Sweet Thing. Hurry up and get that fine little ass over here. But drive safe! Can’t wait to count down the year with you…anyway, see you when you get here. Please hurry.”
It’s clear there was something else that he wanted to say but didn’t. I don’t know what it is but hearing his words echo in my ears makes my night, my week, my year. He didn’t confess his undying love for me, but it was enough.
Pulling into his neighborhood I can see why Mickey put letters in all of his neighbor’s mailboxes. The street is packed with vehicles, and I’m thankful that Mick was thoughtful enough to save a spot for me in the driveway. I would have had to park blocks away otherwise, and with my newfound paranoia that would have been a horrible walk in these ki
ck ass heels. I can’t help but chuckle when I pull into the driveway and I see a sign on the garage door in front of my saved parking spot. It says…SWEET THING PARKING ONLY. IF YOU AREN’T SURE IF THIS MEANS YOU…THEN IT DOESN’T!
I park my car and as soon as I open my door I can hear the music. Mick is a fan of hip-hop old and new and it doesn’t surprise me to hear Flo Rida pulsating from the house as I make my way up the front steps. Every time I walk through this front door I feel safe. And happy. I never would have imagined that I would be spending my New Year's Eve at Mick’s house. I especially wouldn’t have dreamed that he would be waiting for me to catch up. Me. Alexandra Stotts. How did this happen? The elation at just the thought of this makes me giddy as I walk in the front door.
The giddiness melts away the moment I enter the entryway. I don’t know what I expected. Did I expect him to be sitting in the corner by himself waiting patiently for my arrival? No, that wouldn’t be Mick. I know this is his party. I know that even though he isn’t a big drinker, Mick is always the life of whatever party he’s at. It still hurts to walk into my safe place and discover him in the middle of the room surrounded by dancing women. He’s in his element. This element does not include me and reminds me exactly why I can’t give him more.
I close the door behind me, even though I really want to walk back through. I know that Mick is the ultimate party boy and ladies man but I’m not sure that I can stand watching it all night. I force myself to take a fortifying breath and look away from the scene in front of me. Cami and Emily are still here, and my new focus is finding my girls and getting through the night in a completely different room that does not have a view to the make-shift dance floor in front of me.
As I take my first step into the belly of the beast I hear his voice bellow over the noise of the music and the crowd.
“SWEET THING! YOU MADE IT!”
He pushes his way through the sea of bimbos that surround him, and before I know what’s happening he’s wrapped me in his arms and my feet are off the ground. He spins me around, places me back on my feet and then places a sweet kiss on my cheek.