"I just wish there was something I could do for Karen."
Toweling myself off in front of the mirror, I sighed again at my reflection. "Maybe I should just summon her a hellhound."
Dry enough, I shut off the bathroom light and went into my bedroom, slipping under the fluffy comforter and turning off the small lamp beside the bed. "I wish I could just get rid of some of her fucking inhibitions…" My voice trailed off as a stroke of brilliance hit like a Christmas star in the desert night.
"I'm a fucking genius. And a succubus." Chuckling evilly, I closed my eyes and slipped into the world of dreams. Not mine, but Karen's.
Chapter 4
She looked so peaceful sleeping, not a single vision of PTA meetings, Starbucks triple foam lattés, or White Claws dancing in her chicken butt haircut head. Glancing down at my ephemeral hand, I reached out and caressed her face, getting sucked into her dream.
She was still sleeping in her dream, but she wasn't in her bed. If she actually had a pink sheeted princess bed in the real world, I never would have let her live it down. That, and she was alone. No snoring Rick beside her. In fact, we weren't in her house, either. Guess her house wasn't really her dream home, even though she made it out to be whenever she gave me the tour.
No. Dream Karen lived in a castle. The pink stone walls and floor were enough to make me gag, but what the hell. It was her dream, not mine. I usually had a dungeon in my dreams. Only it wasn't usually me shackled to the wall.
First thing first, I needed to disguise myself. That was the greatest thing about the world of dreams. You could literally be anything you wanted. Right then, I wanted to be a little scary. Touching her head again, I shuffled through her memories and found exactly what I was looking for. Shifting, I leaned over and shook her shoulder. "Wake up, Abbysneezer Splooge."
Karen snorted herself awake and blinked rapidly, her mouth opening and closing in fear. I was a ghost. Her older sister, Carol, had passed away in a bus accident five years ago. Karen idolized the woman, but hated her at the same time. Not that I could blame her. Carol hadn't exactly made life easy on Karen. Karen was a prude by nature. Carol had been a fucking nun. Literally. Want to talk about a sister with a holier than thou attitude? Hallowed be thy name, Carol. "C-c-c-carol?"
"In the flesh. Ha! See what I did there? Cuz I'm a ghost! Booooo," I groaned an unearthly howl and rattled some conjured chains for effect.
Karen shivered visibly in her bed and scooted away from me unconsciously, gathering the comforter around her. "W-w-what are you doing here?"
"I am here for your immortal soul!" Wait. Shit. Wrong story. "Just kidding." I plopped down on the side of the bed and hiked up my habit, crossing my mangled legs and putting my hands behind my head as I leaned back against the fluffy down pillows. "Came to visit my favorite little sister."
"I'm your only sister."
"Exactly. Got any grub in this place? I'm starving."
"Uh… I'm not sure?"
Conjuring a shrimp cocktail out of thin air, I proceeded to plop one in my mouth and toss the shell on the floor, chewing loudly. "I'm actually here to pass along a warning."
"A warning? You're going to tell me to repent?" Her bottom lip started quivering.
"Hell naw. I done fucked up, Little Sis. Horribly."
"Huh?" She dropped the comforter in shock.
Huh. Guess Karen isn't as inhibited in her dreams. Sleepin' nekkid and shit. Nice rack. "Yep. I wasted my life."
"But you served the Lord!"
Ooops. Don't want to get in trouble with the celestial powers. "Well, yes, but I never made time for myself. Serving a greater power is a great honor, but it wasn't my calling. I just used it as an outlet for my vast superiority complex. I didn't serve anyone. I used it as an excuse to belittle those around me. Including you, Little Sister. And for that, I am truly sorry." I hung my head in shame, hoping she bought my story.
"Seriously?"
I nodded, barely glancing up to meet her eyes.
"I can't believe it took you dying to realize what I knew all along! Nobody believed me, of course. Especially Mom and Dad. But you could never do anything wrong in their eyes. Sheesh. Know what it was like growing up in the shadow of Saint Carol? I hated you for that, you know."
"I know. Don't hold back. Let it all out."
"I mean, seriously. I couldn't even date until I was in my twenties because of you."
"Yep, I suck."
"And that time you caught me playing with myself and told everyone? Jesus Christ, Carol! I was eighteen for Christ's sake. How could you do that to me?" She started bawling, sobbing into her hands as I tried to ignore her jiggling tatas.
"My bad. But listen, Little Sis. I don't have a lot of time. I'm here to deliver a warning, remember? I don't want you ending up like me!" I rattled the chains for emphasis. "Don't be chained by your inhibitions!"
"What are you saying?"
"More than I should! Tonight, you will be visited by three ghosts. Of the past, the present, and the future. They will show you the errors of your ways and how to live life to its fullest!"
"And I am to heed these ghosts?" She knitted her eyebrows in confusion.
"With every fiber of your being. For it is only they who can keep you from the chains that you are forging! Wooooo ooooooo," I groaned as I faded from view.
"No! Wait, Carol! I have one more question!"
"What?" I coalesced once more.
"Did you tell Bobby Benson I had herpes?"
"Uh. No. I told him you were unclean. Big difference."
"He said he heard I had herpes." She narrowed her eyes and frowned at me.
"Nope. Twasn't me. Goodbye, Little Sis."
"Bye, Carol. I hope you find peace."
"If you find peace, then I will." I ruffled her hair with a mangled hand and faded from view.
Invisible, I watched her sigh and curl back up in her comforter. Once she started snoring again, I sifted once again through the silky strands of her memories until I found one I could work with. Smiling, I shifted into an awkward, but mildly attractive, teenage boy. He wasn't dead, as far as I knew, but Karen didn't know that, having lost touch fifteen years ago when her parents sold their house and moved to Massachusetts. Karen was lucky, she had a surprising streak of luck when it came to not losing people to death. Her sister was the only tragedy she had ever had to suffer through. Even her parents were still alive, living happily in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Enjoying sunshine, warm beaches, and Mai Tais.
She opened her eyes as I sat down on the bed next to her once more.
"Timmy Johnson?" She gasped in surprise.
I was still in his eighteen-year-old form. The only image she had of him in her memories. It was no wonder she recognized him instantly.
"Yes, Karen…"
"You're dead?"
"Unfortunately."
"How?"
"Broken heart. I withered away when you moved."
"Are you serious?" She gave a short sob until I started laughing.
"No. I got drunk and drove my car off Waukegan Pier."
"Seriously?"
"Unfortunately." I sighed and shook my head.
"I am so sorry to hear that. You were a really great guy." She smiled sadly.
"Then why did you shut me out, Karen?"
"What?"
Instead of answering, I grabbed her hand and created the illusion of whisking her away, when in fact, I just shifted the image of her dream castle.
"Remember this place?"
She pulled away, twirling in place and smiling awkwardly as she took in her surroundings. "This is your basement."
"More importantly, this is the night of my eighteenth birthday. Do you remember that?"
She blushed furiously. "Yes. But why did you bring me here?"
"Watch."
Teenagers started clopping down the wooden stairs noisily. Karen came into view, but it was the most shocking sight I ever did see. Karen was thin, but still stacked. But her bosom w
asn't nearly as impressive as her hair, carefully coifed and Aquanetted into an impressive mound just above her forehead as the rest cascaded down her shoulders and back. She had just come from a Tiffany Concert. I giggled when she started singing, "I think we're alone now…"
"Shut up. That was a good song. Wait! Can they hear us," she whispered.
"No. Can't see us, either."
Karen moved closer to herself as the rest of the group shuffled down the stairs and filled the room. "I can't believe I was ever that skinny."
"You still look fantastic, Karen."
"You always said the sweetest things to me."
It was time to ham it up. "Because I loved you."
She gasped. "You did?"
"What? Did you think I just wanted to get in your pants to lose my virginity?"
"Yes?"
"Well, yes. Kind of. But because you are hot as fuck. And I really do love you."
"I am? You do?" She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.
I replied with a nod and a smile, then motioned to the teenagers gathering around a circle and pulling out a few joints.
"Guys! You can't smoke that in here! My parents will smell it and I'll get grounded!" A younger version of the guy I was pretending to be hissed in admonishment.
"Relax, Timmy," one of the other girls with hair bigger than Karen's giggled and lit it, anyway. "We'll get high as fuck and play spin the bottle…"
"Okay," he answered immediately, blushing uncontrollably.
Bigger Hair chuckled and passed the joint to Karen. Surprisingly, she hit it like a pro, coughed once, and passed it to Timmy.
He took a hit, coughed uncontrollably, and bent over with his head between his knees as Karen smacked him on the back in what I can only assume was an attempt to help.
"Here's a bottle," one of the guys said and picked up an empty beer bottle from beside the couch. "Strohs, Timmy?"
"It's my dad's," he managed to answer between hacks.
"Guess I'll go first." He put the bottle on its side on the worn coffee table, giving it a spin. Of course, it stopped on Timmy.
The girls all immediately started laughing. "Oh, hell no. Do over!"
"No, no, no! You can't expect us girls to kiss each other if you won't do it, too!" A petite Asian girl took a hit of the joint between laughter.
"Can we play a different game?"
"Not until the pot kicks in. If you kiss Timmy, we might play truth or dare after…"
"Damnit." The guy, to his credit, got up and circled the table, planting a quick kiss on Timmy's lips before sputtering and wiping his lips on his sleeve as the real Karen laughed beside me.
"I remember this!" Karen grinned madly.
"But do you remember what happened after?"
"What?"
I started making circles in the air with my finger, speeding up time as the kids smoked and kissed. Finally, we got to the game of truth or dare.
I watched slowly as Karen's smile faded as her eyes glued to the situation.
"Karen, I dare you to spend five minutes in the closet with Timmy. Naked," the petite Asian girl grinned unmercifully.
"What? Truth instead."
"Too late, Karen!" She started laughing.
Timmy shifted uncontrollably beside Karen. "You don't have to," he whined nasally.
"Yes, she does. Rules is rules. Start stripping!"
It might have ended there until the entire circle started chanting, "Strip! Strip! Strip!"
Karen must not have been feeling any pain from the joint and immediately stood, dropped her leather skirt and panties, pulling off her shirt and bra as she headed to the closet and opened the door. She stood there waiting impatiently for Timmy as he struggled with the situation.
"You better go, Tim. You've been waiting for this your entire life," one of the guys whispered beside him. "That's the girl of your dreams right there. Don't let this pass you by." He nodded for emphasis.
"You're right," Timmy answered as if he didn't realize all that from the start. He got up and practically ripped the buttons off his flannel shirt, shucking his jeans and tightey whiteys as he scrambled toward the closet and Karen.
"Holy shit. Timmy's got a huge cock," Bigger Hair than Karen whispered appreciatively as she watched him run toward heaven.
"You really did," Real Karen winked at me.
"And yet you let it pass you by," I said sadly and pushed her toward the closet.
Waving my hand, the door faded away until we saw the two awkward teenagers kissing deeply in the small closet filled with coats and boots.
Karen of the past reached down and lightly stroked Timmy's cock. I stifled a gasp as it grew in her hand. They weren't lying. Timmy had a trouser monster. A lean jean peen machine. A shplack hammer. It kind of made me want to look Timmy up on the Facebook.
My eyes widened in shock as Karen dropped to her knees and pulled Timmy to her mouth. Just as the tip was about to touch her tongue, she shook her head and stood up. "I can't," she whispered and exited the closet, grabbed her clothes from the couch and put them on as fast as she could. Without a word to the others, she ran up the stairs. But Karen wasn't watching any of that. She was staring at Timmy who had slunk to the floor and was crying silently.
"I'm sorry," she whispered to him.
"You never spoke another word to me after that."
"No. I was too embarrassed. I felt so dirty. I wanted you so much."
I played along. I had seen most of the memory in her mind. How Timmy's schlong had escaped my notice, I'll never know. "I spent years thinking it was me. That you were afraid of me, you know. That I was this three-legged freak that no girl would want to be with."
"What? No! Your…um…thing was amazing. I just felt slutty."
"Which is absolutely the farthest thing from the truth. But it was your choice. But it was cruel not to tell me why. I didn't care that you said you couldn't. It just would have been nice to know it wasn't me." I said sadly.
"I wish I could go back for real and do things differently."
"How? Would you have told me the truth?"
"No. I would have let you fuck me from behind while I held onto the coat rack. Jesus. I had that in my hand, and I let it go." She chuckled ironically.
"Are you happy, Karen? That's all I've ever hoped for."
"Most of the time." She turned and smiled. "I'm sorry, Timmy. Mostly, I'm sorry you're gone. You deserved happiness much more than I do. You were such a sweetheart." She leaned in and kissed me. We were ethereal, but not to each other. I gasped as she grasped my crotch. I'd forgotten to give myself a penis. I probably wouldn't have done Little Timmy justice anyway. Instead, I let myself and the scene fade away, leaving Karen alone in her castle room.
Chapter 5
Invisible, I watched Karen reflect on the past before crawling back into bed. I waited until she fell back asleep in her dream before reappearing and looking at her thoughtfully. I couldn’t pull a memory from her head if we were dealing with the present. I didn't need to, anyway. She believed what was happening to her was real. The memory of Timmy was proof enough. Now, I could just make shit up off the cuff to get my point across.
"Karen. Wake up."
I probably should have still rifled through her memories for someone from her past to transform into, just to keep up some semblance of reality. Shrugging, I shifted into someone from my past, instead. Sinnamon, the Stripper. If I was going to teach Karen to be a little sluttier, there was no better teacher than Ms. Snail Trail herself.
"Who are you?"
"I am the Ghost of Xmas Present."
"Did you really just call it X-mas?"
"Yep."
"Do I know you?"
"Nope. But you will! Come on. I've got lots to show you."
"Like what?" She was putting up a good front but took my outstretched hand. The room swirled around us as we appeared in the middle of the Candy Shoppe. The local strip club owned by a very tasty looking vampire…
"Um.
Why are we at a strip club?" She looked around nervously.
"Because this is where dreams are made," I answered cryptically and pulled toward the stage. "See anybody you know?"
"No! Why the hell would I know anybody at a strip club? I've even petitioned to get this place shut down."
I'm sure you have. "Are you suuure? Look again."
She sighed and scanned the crowd, her face twisting in anger as her eyes settled on someone very familiar. "Is that my fucking husband?"
Maybe I went a little far…
Oh, well. I'm sure it will all turn out okay in the end. "Yes." I giggled and pulled her closer.
When she was close enough, she took a swing at him, twisting in the air as her hand passed right through his head, and dumping Karen unceremoniously on the floor beside him.
"Ew. Yeah. You might want to get up off the floor. Michel keeps the place pretty clean, but accidents happen…"
A horrified look on her face, she scrambled off the polished concrete and pulled herself into one of the white leather chairs beside Rick. "Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why would he be in a place like this?"
"Uh, pretty sure it's to look at naked women, Karen."
She stared at her husband whose eyes were transfixed on the girl in the G-string bending over in front of him. I couldn't blame him. I was staring at her, too.
"But why? He could look at me whenever he wants…"
"But would you wear a purple thong, bend over in front of him, and rub your finger through the wet spot on your panties?"
"What the hell? No! That's just…"
"Nasty?"
She blushed. "Slutty."
"So? He's your husband, Karen. When was the last time your husband saw you completely naked?"
"On the toilet two weeks ago."
"Gosh. That sounds sexy." I rolled my eyes and sat down at the table on the other side of Rick. "Look at her, Karen. She's beautiful. Can you blame him for looking at her?"
To my surprise, Karen actually did look up at the stripper. "No. She is beautiful. But Rick is mine!"
"I could go in on a rant on how you should show him that. But he's just as guilty. Neither of you do anything to excite the other. Can you honestly tell me that you think that's healthy? You're comfortable, not exciting."
Let's Scrooge Page 10