The upside was that my testosterone and adrenaline levels were through the roof. I was fighting better than I ever had before. But when this was all over, and we were finally together, I was gonna have to jack off like fifteen times to makes sure I didn’t split her in half. Funny thing was, after years of being a manwhore, I couldn’t even get a twitch from looking at other girls. Irish was my drug of choice, and I was addicted. I was gutted that I wouldn’t be seeing her tonight, but I called her every night when she went to bed. We’d talk for hours. She had the most beautiful voice and was kind of quiet, but when we were alone, she would tell me everything—stories about her family, plans for the future, all her hopes and dreams. I lived for those calls, and for the day that she’d be in my bed every night, having these conversations in person.
By four, when I was getting ready to do my last round of circuits, it occurred to me that I hadn’t seen Liam for a couple of days. He came to the gym for at least an hour or two after work every night, so it must have been something serious for him to miss it.
“Hey, Con, you spoken to Liam at all?” I asked.
“Nah. I called him a couple of times, but he hasn’t called back. I was thinking about paying him a visit after we’ve finished later actually. Albie’s complaining to Em that he’s becoming more and more distant. Cancelling dates and shit and not rearranging. Albie thinks Liam’s getting ready to break things off with him.”
“No way,” I argued. “Shit, he looks at Albie like he hung the moon. There’s no way he’s calling that off. My money’s on his piece of shit da making trouble somehow.”
Just at that moment, the man himself walked into the gym. Hood pulled over his head and shoulders hunched, the guy looked defeated.
“Well, speak his name and he shall appear. How’s things going, big guy?” I asked.
“What’s up, Kier?” Liam said, acknowledging me with a nod, while avoiding showing me his face.
Con followed Liam into the locker room, and I wasn’t far behind. From the look on Con’s face, I knew this was serious.
“What’s going on, mate?” I heard Con ask. Liam pushed his hood back, and his face was just fucked up. Bruised and battered, even cut in places, it looked like someone had given him a right going over.
“It's my own fault. I had it coming,” Liam said.
“Son, you wanna explain to me how any of this is your feckin’ fault? ’Cause this is a story I really need to hear,” Danny said, having followed us all.
Liam sat down dejectedly on the bench and hung his head.
“I kissed Albie on the stage in front of a club full of people I forgot about everything and just kissed him. Up until that point, I’d kept us pretty private,” he said.
“That was weeks ago,” I pointed out.
“It took a while for the news to filter through, but someone filmed Kier’s performance and caught the kiss at the end. The film made the rounds, and someone showed my da a couple of days ago,” he said.
“He did this to you?” Con asked, his fists clenching and unclenching, a tell-tale sign that he was close to losing his shit.
“He and my brothers took turns. Said they were gonna beat the gay out of me,” he admitted.
“How many of ’em did you put in the hospital?” I asked, knowing full well just how powerfully he could hit. He clasped his hands together and looked down.
“You didn’t raise your hand to one of them, did you, son?” Danny asked. Liam shook his head slowly.
“Why the fuck not?” I asked him.
“Albie,” Con said, knowing it was the only reason he wouldn’t defend himself.
“They know who he is and where he lives. They gave me a choice. Either give him up, cut all ties, and take a beating, or they’ll find him and kill him. They don’t give a shit about me. They’ve kicked my arse out. But they don’t want a ‘gay boy’ associated with the family,” he said bitterly.
“What did Albie say to all this?” Danny asked.
Liam looked up at him and his expression was one of pure agony. “I can’t do it, Danny. I haven’t told him, because there’s no way he’d stay away from me. I know I need to hurt him bad to make him leave for good. I just haven’t got the fuckin’ stones to do it. I can’t be with him and keep him safe, but I can’t let him go either.” He ran his hands over his head and just looked fucking broken.
Knowing exactly what to do, I left Con and Danny to talk things over with Liam while I made a couple of calls. Ten minutes later, I came back to learn that Liam had been sofa surfing with a guy from his construction site.
“Why didn’t you come to us first? Any of us would’ve had your back,” Con said.
“I wanted Albie to have you guys. I knew he’d need you, and if I can’t be there for him, then I needed to know you would be. He wouldn’t have been able to come to you if I’d been there,” he replied.
“That is the single stupidest thing I think I’ve ever heard you say. As if there’s anywhere else I’d ever go but straight to you,” Albie said. He stood in the doorway, his hands buried deep in his pockets.
“That was fast,” I said.
“I was already on the way when you called,” he replied. “I wanted to talk to you about this dumb-arse.”
Liam was staring at him longingly.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Albie asked Liam gently.
Liam swallowed hard before answering. “I needed to protect you. Alb, I can take a beating all day, every day. It’s what I grew up with it. But if you got hurt because of me, it would kill me.” Liam’s voice cracked at the end.
“If you let the fear of something that might never happen destroy something great, then they’ve already won. You can’t control people filled with hate, Liam. Who knows why they are the way they are. All you can do is find your own happiness and leave them to their own misery,” Albie told him.
“And if you get hurt?” Liam asked him. “I know my family, and this ain’t no hollow threat.”
“Brother, they ain’t your family. We are. Blood doesn’t make a family. Love and loyalty does. And nobody fucks with our family. Right?” Con said.
“Right,” Albie replied.
“Right,” added Tommy and Heath. They moved passed Albie into the locker room, and I guessed they’d heard what was going down.
“Right,” I added, and we all looked towards Liam, who hadn’t taken his eyes off Albie.
Eventually, he stood up, and I swore to God the tank was near to tears. “Right,” he said, making us all smile. Con was right, we were a family, and the fuckers who were lucky enough to share blood with Liam were about to lose some of it. There ain’t no fighter more lethal than the one protecting his family.
“Right then, boys. This shite ends now. We ain’t the animals they are, so we’re going to give these feckers a chance to walk away, but they keep threatening my boys, they’re gonna wish we brought Father Pat for the last rites,” Danny said. “Tommy!” he called out. “Bring that truck of yours round. I’m too old to put my wrinkly arse on the back of a bike. Con, Heath, Kieran, you follow us.”
“You’re not going without me,” Albie said. “There’s no way I’m not standing up for you after what they’ve done.”
“Albie,” Liam said, his voice cracking again.
“Do you want Liam there for the shitstorm that’s coming?” Danny asked him.
“Of course not,” Albie replied, red faced.
“Then how d’you think he’d feel knowing you were that close to the people who threatened you without being able to do anything about it?” Danny asked, reasonably. Liam stood up and looked straight at Albie.
“They’ll make you fuckin’ hate me. They’ll tell you all sorts of shit about me. And you won’t want to believe it, but then you’ll see the arsehole stock I come from and you’ll know I’m not worth the trouble. Besides, there’s no fuckin’ way I’m letting you get anywhere near them. If a single one of them laid a finger on you, I’d kill them all,” Liam said.
&
nbsp; “Your job is to take care of Liam. Let us take care of the rest,” Danny assured Albie. He looked frustrated, but nodded briefly, acknowledging that he would stay.
“When we get back, I’ll move your stuff over to me Ma’s. Since I got my own place she’s got room to spare, and you know she’d love the company,” I said. She’d known Liam practically all his life. When we were kids, he ate at our house more than at his own.
“Thanks for the offer, Kieran, but he’s staying with me,” Albie said, not taking his eyes of Liam.
“It’s cool, Albie,” Liam said. “You have a box room in a house share and a single bed. Even if it was cool with your housemates, there’s no way both of us could stay in that room.”
“Then we’ll find a new place together. I would have asked you to move in with me months ago if I didn’t think you’d turn me down,” Albie replied. For the first time in weeks, I saw Liam break a smile, and it was beautiful.
“You sure?” he asked Albie.
“Positive,” he replied with an answering smile.
“Is it cool with you if I take up your offer for a couple of weeks, until we can find a place? You know, if it’s okay with your ma,” Liam said.
“I’ve already asked her, mate. She’s probably making your bed and cooking your dinner as we speak. I told her to expect Albie for dinner too,” I replied.
“Cheers, Kier,” he said, still grinning.
“Right, ladies, now the dinner arrangements are sorted, let’s get a feckin’ move on. The Antiques Roadshow is on tonight, and I don’t plan on missing it,” Danny said, breaking the tension. We waited until Liam and Albie were both on their way to Ma’s before putting on wraps. It was far from our first street fight, but splitting your knuckles got old fuckin’ fast. Danny had me running back and forth to training every day, so we took Con’s car. As we pulled up outside, I was pleased to see the driveway of the Murphy household full of cars. Liam told us they went to the Holy Cross Sports and Social Club after dinner every night, so it looked like we’d caught them just in time.
Danny led the way, and though I instinctively wanted to protect him, there was no telling him what to do. Walking purposefully up to the house, he knocked sharply, then crossed his arms while he waited for a reply. The door opened, and there stood Stuart Murphy. Though shorter, it was clear that he’d once been built like his son, but where Liam was pure muscle, Stuart had a significant middle-aged spread, another side effect of a lifelong drink habit.
“I see the spineless little poofter sent the old fart and his little arse kissers to fight his battles for him. Should’ve known the useless little queer wouldn’t resist running his mouth off.”
“Murphy,” Danny replied. “I see ya manners haven’t improved any since the last time I saw ya.”
“Cut the shite, Danny. I said everything I needed to say last time was spoke. So tell me what the fuck you want and get the fuck off my doorstep,” Stuart said.
“Very well. If ya going to be like that about it. I want you to leave Liam and Albie be. You’ve cut Liam off from the family for good, and while I think you’re making a mistake, he’s better off without ya. But I don’t like this threat you’ve left hanging over them. I don’t like it one little bit. So this ends now. They’ll live their life, and you’ll live yours and let that be an end to it.”
“Who the fuck d’you think you are to be telling me what to do with my boy? I don’t want any feckin’ queers in this family. It’s ungodly and it ain’t feckin’ natural. I should’ve hit him harder when he was a kid and beaten the soft outta him,” Stuart replied.
“Since when do you give a fuck about God, you selfish bastard?” Danny barked.
“Problem, Da?” came a voice behind Stuart. His three other sons shared their father’s beer belly and looked just as smug and in need of a fuckin’ pasting as he did.
“Nothin’ I can’t handle, boys. Driscoll here was just leaving and so were the pissants with him,” Stuart said. “Now you tell Liam he can do whatever the fuck he wants for all I care. But he so much as looks at a boy again, and me and the family will make ’em both wish they’d never been born.” With that, he spat at Danny’s feet.
I didn’t see it coming, and I didn’t think anyone else did either. With speed and skill that belied his age, Danny drew back his fist and gave Stuart a right hook to the jaw. I learned more in that moment about his former skill as a boxer than he’d ever let on to us. The punch wasn’t powerful enough to knock out a man like Stuart Murphy, but it sure was enough to put him on his arse. Stepping forward to stand over him, Danny looked down at the piece of shit.
“Don’t you ever threaten one of my boys again, Murphy. I’ve let too much slide over the years because your boy begged me to. Why he showed you any loyalty, I don’t know, ’cause you certainly never showed him any, but this ends now. After today, the boy is free to be whoever he wants and see whoever he wants. He’s gay. Live with it. Or don’t, I don’t really give a fuck. But you stay away from him and his. ‘Course, if you ain’t happy with that arrangement, then perhaps I need to speak to one of them ‘cold case’ coppers. Ya’ see, boyo, I know what went down all them years ago,” Danny said, leaning in closer to deliver the last part of his message.
“No one’s gonna believe some crazy old fecker’s word after all these years,” Stuart said smugly.
“Well, that depend, don’t it?” Danny replied.
“On what?” Stuart asked mockingly.
“On whether I’ve still got the feckin’ gun,” Danny said quietly.
“That ain’t possible,” Stuart whispered, turning completely white.
“Well, why don’t ya test me and find out?” Danny replied. “As long as you leave ’em alone, I’ll let things stay buried. You decide you want to continue this conversation, you know how it’ll end.”
“Fuck this. I don’t know what you’re talking about, Driscoll, but no one threatens my old man. I’m going to fucking nail you for this,” one of Stuart’s kids said. I forgot his name. They all looked the same to me. Con took a step forward and cracked the knuckles on each hand before rolling his shoulders, looking like the meanest fucker Hell ever spat out.
“Enough!” Stuart said, halting his son in his tracks. “You keep your end of the bargain, Driscoll, and I’ll keep mine.”
“Done,” Danny replied. “And don’t get up, Murphy. We’ll see ourselves out.” With that, he adjusted his flat cap, turned on his heels, and headed back to the truck. The boys and I looked at each other in shock, but followed behind him.
“What the fuck was that all about, Danny?” I asked, desperate to know what the hell kind of secrets he’d been keeping.
“Mind your own business, boys. What’s done is done. Liam needs to get back on his feet again, and you have a fight to focus on. Now get me home, lads. Antiques Roadshow starts in fifteen minutes,” he replied.
Chapter Ten
Marie
Like every night for the last month, I’d gone to bed with a smile on my face. Although we didn’t see each other nearly as much as we’d like, it only heightened the anticipation. Kieran was in my every thought. When I ate breakfast, I wondered what he ate. When I slipped on a lacy camisole, I imagined that it was Kieran’s hands ghosting over my skin. The electricity forming between us was a beautiful seduction, and the most delicious of procrastinations. Even in the dark of night, when his voice on the phone hinted at the pleasure he would one day introduce me to, I couldn’t bring myself to ease my own agony. Kieran had kindled a fire inside this body, and only he could put it out.
Restless and needy, I drifted into a fitful sleep, only to be woken by a tapping against the window. Although startled and a tiny bit freaked out, I rationalised that murderers and rapists were unlikely to scale two floors of my building to get to me. Besides, I was pretty sure they didn’t knock. When I finally plucked up a bit of courage, I peeped out of the curtains to see Kieran throwing stones at the window.
“Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let do
wn your hair,” he mock shouted, when he caught my eye. I opened the window to whisper loudly back at him.
“Are you high?” I asked. “Why didn’t you just ring the doorbell or call me?”
“I thought this would be more romantic,” he said.
“If I ignore the fact that my nipples probably have frostbite, I am feeling romanced,” I replied. He looked pained. “What’s wrong?” I asked.
“You said ‘nipples’ and now I can’t think of anything else,” he replied, making me smile.
“Now I’m down here, what’s the chances of seeing an accidental nip slip?” he asked.
“Depends,” I replied.
“On what?” he asked.
“What’s in the bag?” I said.
“Hot chocolate and warm doughnuts,” he said, holding up the bag as if to barter.
“Well, I would have said slim to none, but fresh doughnuts might have just tipped the odds in your favour,” I replied.
“Yesss!” he said, fist bumping the air in victory.
I closed the window and ran to buzz him in. He bounded up the stairwell, his heavy footsteps echoing loudly in the hallway. When he got to my door, he looked me up and down, taking in my short royal blue, silk pyjamas. Dropping the sack, he speared his hands into my hair and pulled me into a kiss that had me melting. Kier didn’t kiss with just his lips; he did it with his whole body. Without shoes on, I was tiny in comparison, but inside of the cage of his huge arms, I felt protected and safe. Despite his size, his lips were so gentle. He didn’t treat me like I was fragile, but like I was precious, as though every touch was one that he was experiencing for the first time and memorizing for later.
Feeling bold, I traced the seam of his mouth with my tongue, and when he parted his lips and touched his tongue against mine, I groaned. Every sensation was too much, and not enough. Breathless, he pulled away from me to nuzzle his face in the crook of my neck. I reached up and gently stroked the short hair at the back of his neck, making him sigh.
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