by Lynn Wolfe
Henry knew Chester had no feelings of remorse for his treacherous behavior. He’d surmised early on that Chester wasn’t right in the head and was relieved he wasn’t like Chester, without feelings. He did feel remorse, because he’d nearly fallen apart when he lost his beloved, Jane. No, he wasn’t like Chester at all. Besides, any life he took was because they were people who’d done him wrong. They’d deserved their fate. Chester killed for the mere pleasure of it. That alone assured Henry there was a big difference in their make-up. He never killed for pleasure alone.
Henry was smug with satisfaction on his excellent ability to plan a murder. America was truly a land full of opportunity he’d not expected or counted on. Truly, no one was more of a genius than the great, Henry Ball.
He headed for his favorite pub to go over his plan once again with Chester. Their timing must be perfect. A couple of drinks were needed to celebrate his upcoming victory. Soon, he would only have Thomas and Mary to finish off.
Chapter Forty-Six
Baltimore
After James left for his meeting with his father, Susannah waited a short time and then she left to meet with Dr. Morris, also in Baltimore. She’d not wanted to worry James, but the persistent cough she’d dealt with for the last few weeks, gave her an uneasy feeling. She’d arranged for the children to stay with the neighbors.
She was relieved there were not many people in the waiting room when she arrived at the Doctor’s office. The fewer people who saw her there, the less likely James would find out about her visit. As she waited her turn, Susannah watched as a little boy with a head full of red curly hair exited from his visit with Dr. Morris. He looked to be about the age of four and was carrying a lollipop in his slightly grubby hand. Susannah noticed he’d been crying and saw he had a bandage on his leg. She listened as Dr. Morris was explaining to his mother that she needed to clean the wound and change the bandage daily. Dr. Morris smiled and ruffled the boy’s hair as he suggested he might be more careful the next time he was climbing trees. The little boy only nodded as he continued to lick his lollipop.
When Dr. Morris saw Susannah, he frowned, and then motioned for her to come into his office next. As Susannah entered the room, she couldn’t help but notice the strong smell of antiseptic.
“Have a seat, Susannah,” Dr. Morris said kindly and concerned as he sat behind his desk.
“Thank you for taking me right away. I know you took me before it was my turn.” Susannah spoke as she took the seat across from Dr. Morris and tried to blink back the tears that were now falling non-stop. “I’m so grateful you did.”
“I knew your visit must be important, for you to come without an appointment. What on earth is happening, Susannah, for you to visit me alone and so upset? I’ve known you since you were a young girl, and I’ve never seen you under such duress.”
“Dr. Morris, I’ve not been feeling well for some time. No matter how much sleep I have, I can’t seem to right myself. I’m not only extremely tired, I can’t get rid of this cough I’ve had for several weeks.
“James and the others have asked me several times about my cough, but I’ve managed to deceive them by saying it’s not as bad as it sounds. Yet, I know in my heart, that I’m getting sicker as each week passes. Sometimes, I think I might have a slight temperature. Then a couple of days ago, I coughed up some pink mucus. My mother’s sister had these very same symptoms and she died of consumption, and I fear, I’ve the same ailment.
“I was hoping you might be able to find another diagnosis. One that would allow me to realize I’ve been worried for no reason. Hopefully, you’ll be able to give me something to cure me of this cough, and alleviate my fears.” Susannah dabbed her tears with her lace hanky and then went into a terrible coughing spell.
Dr. Morris saw the fear in Susannah’s eyes. He knew she’d already accepted the illness he was sure she was carrying, and he knew she was hoping, as anyone would, that he’d find another illness that mimicked consumption. If only he had that power.
Dr. Morris stood and ran his hand through his silver hair. He walked over and sat on the edge of his desk as he carefully held onto Susannah’s hands. He’d treated the Webb family for nearly twenty years. He wanted to tell her this wasn’t serious, but they both knew differently.
“Let me listen to your lungs, and then I might be able to diagnose what ails you.” Dr. Morris tried hard not to change his expression as he listened to the terrible congestion in Susannah’s lungs. He knew he had to be direct; Susannah wasn’t one to be fooled by untrue words.
“Susannah, I’m sorry to tell you this and I think you already know the words I must say, I believe you do have consumption after hearing the racket in your lungs and by everything you’ve told me. Now, the only question is what can be done? First, I need to know if you’ve confided to anyone about your fears.”
“No, I wanted to speak to you first. I knew in my heart I was being foolish searching for another outcome. Inside me, I’ve known the truth. Now, I need to find out how much time you think I might have. I can’t keep this hidden much longer.
“This news will devastate, James. The children are still young and they’ll have lots of love to see them through, but James, he’ll be angry that he can’t control the outcome of my fate. He has always had the ability to make things right so many times. I fear this is one battle I’m must face alone.”
“Susannah, first off, when you arrive back home you’ll have to have help with running your household and the children. You’re right about not hiding your illness much longer. I can’t believe you’ve been able to fool everyone for this long. Let me listen to your lungs once again, so I can make a determination as to how far this has progressed.”
Dr. Morris fought his own emotions as he listened to Susannah’s lungs. There was no mistaking the sound of consumption.
“You must tell James and your family immediately about this visit. How you’ve managed to come this far with your secret is beyond me. I’m so sorry, Susannah. As you know, this will not be easy on you or your family. I can give you some syrup that might ease your cough, some. However, you’ll only continue to get worse as the weeks go on. I don’t want you coming to town alone. You’re not outright contagious, but you should be very careful being around others who might carry an illness that could be fatal to you. Would you like me to tell your folks?”
“Actually, I was planning on stopping at their place on my way home. I thought I’d tell them first. James is out of town for a few days, but I’ll share this news the minute he returns. I know mother will come home with me and stay as long as necessary.
“You know, my father would say you must live with the hand God dealt you, and that’s exactly what I plan to do. I shall live each day I have left to the fullest.”
Dr. Morris nodded in agreement. “Susannah, you’re one of the strongest women I know. If and when the time comes, and you can no longer travel, I’ll gladly come to see you. In the mean time, get plenty of rest. You need to return in another week so I can check on your condition.”
“I’m truly sorry I broke down. I’d wanted to stay strong. Do you have any estimate of how much time is left?”
Dr. Morris took a long time to reply. He was looking deep into her eyes and wondering how she’d handle the news that she was looking at a few months, at best.
“Well, we’re never sure of the answer, for every case is different. I’d say you have a year at best. But Susannah, I fear the real truth is you’ll have less than a year before the consumption takes you.”
Susannah nodded but looked away. She’d known the answer before he said the words. She had felt her body losing strength daily. She again was trying to blink back her tears.
“Thank you for your honesty. I’ll try to be brave through this. I don’t want the children or James to ever think of me as weak.”
“Susannah, no one would ever say a Webb was weak. Never.”
As Susannah arose from her chair, Dr. Morris walked her to the door and g
ave her a fatherly hug. “Send for me anytime, Susannah, and I shall plan to see you next week.”
Dr. Morris watched as Susannah left. She never looked back. Her death would not be easy. This news would certainly devastate the entire Webb family. He nodded to the next patient to come into his office. He prayed he didn’t have to deliver any more terrible news this day. He hadn’t had a case of consumption for some time and wished it hadn’t hit the Webb family.
*****
Susannah was relieved when she saw no one she knew on the street as she left the Doctor’s office. She did her crying on her way to her parent’s home. She knew how much this news would hurt them and James. But it was Anna who she had the most concern for. They were as close as two sisters could be. She knew Anna would have great difficulty accepting her fate.
In many ways her death would be easiest for her. Once she was gone, she’d no longer be in pain. Yet, the rest of the family would have to live every day with their memories.
Once again, Susannah had a terrible coughing spell and spit up the pink tinge mucus she was now accustomed to seeing. She’d been right to see Dr. Morris today. In a few minutes, she was about to tell the secret that would affect all those she loved.
Chapter Forty-Seven
The Webb Farm
Susannah tied the horse and carriage to the hitching post and entered her parent’s home with dread. It was such a lovely day, with the sun shining brightly and a mild breeze to keep things pleasant.
“Hello, is anyone around?” Susannah tried to call out cheerfully.
“Susannah, what a lovely surprise,” Constance Webb remarked as she walked to the foyer from the back of the house, to greet Susannah. “What brings you here for this surprise visit? Are the children with you?”
Then Constance Webb looked upon her daughter’s face. She thought her heart might stop beating. She recognized only sadness in Susannah’s eyes. “What’s happened? Please, come into the parlor so we can discuss whatever it is that you are troubled by.”
Constance knew whatever Susannah was about to tell her, the news had affected her daughter very much. She prayed nothing had happened to one of the children.
Susannah sat by her mother on the settee and began sobbing. She allowed all her built up emotions to finally be released from her trembling body. Finally, she was able to find her voice, after she finished another coughing spell.
“Mother, remember when I was little girl and you’d tell me that no matter what happened, there was always a solution to any problem?” Susannah saw the fear in her mother’s eyes.
Constance was waiting to hear the news she already suspected. “I remember, darling, and most things can be corrected.”
“Yes, most things.” Susannah’s coughing spell lasted only a short time. “I’m sorry. I have trouble containing my cough. “Anyway, I went to see Dr. Morris today. I went for confirmation of what I’d already suspected. He also came to the same conclusion, Mother, I have consumption.”
A few years back, she’d watched helplessly as her sister, Amy, battle this illness at the age of thirty. She’d died within two years of contracting the disease. “I’m so sorry, Susannah. This isn’t fair; it should never be allowed to happen to two people in the same family. I’d give anything to have this deadly disease rather than you. What exactly did Dr. Morris tell you? How much time do we have?”
“There’s no miracle awaiting me. He feels I have a few months to less than a year. James will be home in a few days from his trip to Baltimore, but Dr. Morris feels I need someone to stay with me, now. I know this is very short notice, but could you possibly return home with me until James arrives?”
“Of course! I wouldn’t have it any other way. I shall pack immediately. Why don’t we have lunch here and you can rest a bit before we leave. Your father should be coming in for lunch soon, and then we can let him know what has transpired.”
Constance was trying very hard to put on a brave front. Why Susannah, she thought. She’d been living a wonderful life up until now. But one never knows the reason why or when tragedy will strike.
Susannah tried to smile at her mother as she was speaking to her. She wanted to show her she could manage through this. She could be brave.
“Mother, I’ve adjusted to my situation as much as one can. I know what the future holds for me. Telling James is what I find most difficult to do, and telling the children, when necessary, of course. But I fear Anna will be equally as hurt.”
“Of course, this sharing of your illness will be difficult, Susannah.”
Before Constance could say anything further, John Webb entered the parlor. Neither woman had heard him come in. He had at first entered with a big smile on his face, for he knew Susannah, and maybe the children, were visiting once he saw her carriage. But now, seeing her and Constance on the settee, both obviously in tears, he knew something was very wrong. “What the hell’s going on?”
Susannah rose and ran into her father’s open arms. She again sobbed until she could cry no more. She finally stepped back from his powerful but loving hug, and spoke softly and quickly. She hoped her words would not falter.
“I’ve been diagnosed with consumption.”
John Webb kept a straight but stern face. He nodded but said nothing. He walked to the window as Susannah went to sit next to her mother. He looked out but saw nothing.
Susannah watched him come to terms with the news she’d given him. He was taking slow even breaths. She and her mother waited for him to speak.
“There are many things one can hear that will give you a shock in this life, but knowing your daughter has been given a death sentence is hard to comprehend and accept. How much time do you have, Susannah?”
Susannah smiled. Typical of her father to stay strong and be honest and she knew this news was tearing him apart.
“Maybe six months to less than a year, Father. I shall have plenty of time to make arrangements for the children and this will give time for everyone else to come to terms with my illness.”
Knowing her husband was unable to speak at the moment, Constance spoke to ease the silence, “John, I’m going to stay with Susannah until James gets back from his trip to Baltimore. I know you can manage without me.”
John pulled Susannah back into his arms, “I love you more than life itself, as does your mother. We’ll do anything and everything we can to make this as easy as possible for you. If only I could trade places with you.”
“I know how much you love me, Father. I couldn’t have had better parents, a better sister, a better husband or better children than I’ve been blessed with. I wish, too, that things would have turned out differently. I’ve accepted this as being my fate, and I hope you’ll accept what you cannot change. Now that this is in the open, I think I shall lie down, if you don’t mind. I find myself very tired.”
Susannah was exhausted. Then, she had another one of her coughing spells. Again, she spit up some pink tinged mucus. When she looked to her parents, she saw the sadness overtake them. “Please, don’t feel sorry for me. I truly have come to terms with this and you must also.”
Her father nodded as he watched his wife continue to rub her hands together. “Of course, we know we must stay strong, Susannah, but at the moment, that’s difficult to do. We’ll do whatever you wish. I’ll stop often to check on you. Mother can stay as long as needed. Believe it or not, I can manage without her.”
Susannah smiled at the thought of her father who’ll make a mess of things without her mother to clean up after him. “I want both of you to know that I’m aware of the battle I’m facing. I remember much of what Aunt Amy went through, even though you tried to shield us. I’m trying to be brave. I have to be for the sake of the children. We all must die someday. It’s just coming sooner than I’d hoped.
“Father, would you mind breaking the news to Anna. I don’t think I can find the words to tell her, knowing how she’ll respond.”
“I’ll tell her this afternoon. We’ll all try to remain s
trong, Susanna,” John Webb said, with tears in his eyes. Praying he could do as she asked without breaking down.
Once Susannah had rested, they ate a quick lunch. Constance had packed her things for a long stay; for she knew she’d be there until the end.
*****
John saved his tears until after Susannah and Constance left. The news she’d shared was unbearable. He took some comfort in the knowledge he had a few months to come to terms with the outcome. He was fully aware life could change in an instant, having had to deal with such losses throughout his years. However, knowing life could change and knowing life will change, are two different scenarios, especially when his daughter was involved.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Anna smiled brightly as she greeted her father at the door. “Father, what are you doing stopping by so early in the afternoon? I bet you told mother you’re checking fences and then took the time to ride here to see you’re lovely and challenging granddaughter, Jane, didn’t you?”
John smiled down at his youngest daughter but not with his eyes. He knew they held the sorrow within him. He realized he couldn’t find the words he needed to say at that moment. How could he find the right words to ease the awful truth?
“Father, what is it? Something’s happened to Mother, hasn’t it?” Anna hadn’t thought about her parents getting older until right then. She became frightened at what news he brought.
“This might be easier for you to understand if what I’m about to tell you was about your mother or me. Please, Anna, let’s sit, while I share some very disturbing news. This will be difficult for you to hear, and even more difficult to adjust to, for the next few months.”
Anna didn’t want to hear anything more from her father. She now wished he hadn’t stopped to see her. Her day had been perfect so far. Now, she knew this day was going to take a turn for the worse. She noticed the tears in her father’s eyes as he paced.