by Cole Lepley
The preview I got the other night was shielded by boxer briefs—albeit very nicely fitted ones.
I slip the T-shirt over my head after removing my dress and wipe the make-up from my face. What little that remains is smeared from crying so much today. My eyes look puffy and my cheeks are blotchy. I’m not sure why I care so much. It’s not like he’ll be able to see me in the dark anyway.
When I walk back into the room, he’s seated on the edge of my bed in just his boxers, scrolling through his phone. His back is turned to me, but I can the see the tension in his muscles as his fingers type at furious pace.
“Everything okay?” I ask, walking toward the bed.
He sighs, but then turns to me and smiles. “Yeah, it’s fine. This is nothing.” He tosses his phone to the chair beside my bed and stands, stretching his arms above his head. I watch every cut line of his torso flex with his movement and my stomach flips. Maybe this is a bad idea?
Before I can change my mind, I slip under the covers and flick off the lamp. The tiny window only allows a minimal amount of light into the room, so I can only hear him moving next to me in the darkness until my eyes start to adjust.
“Bishop?”
“Yeah?”
“I think I fucked up.”
I laugh a little, turning on my side to face him. He mirrors my movements and leans his head against his hand.
“Why’s that?”
He runs the ball of his tongue ring across his top teeth for a moment. My eyes follow it as it moves along, skimming his lip.
“I don’t think I should have started things up with Sloan.”
I roll my eyes. “That’s an understatement.”
He chuckles, shaking the bed. “Yeah, I thought you’d say that. But you know how it is. Once you love someone it’s hard to stop.”
I close my eyes as a new rush of pain comes over me. I know the feeling all too well. I feel Perry’s hand come over mine.
“I’m sorry. It’s bullshit of me to feel bad when you’re going through this.”
I shake my head. “No, it’s okay. I’ve had a long time to come terms with my loss. Yours just keeps getting reopened over and over again. That would be so much harder.”
“You have no idea,” he breathes.
I reach my hand over and run my fingertips down the side of his face. He closes his eyes as I speak. “Perry, I know you think you’re a bad person, but you’re not.” His eyes open and I keep going before he can protest. “And she doesn’t deserve you. She never did.”
It goes so long before he speaks, I’m afraid he won’t—but then he says something that makes my heart stop altogether.
“As selfish as it would have been, sometimes I wish I would have kissed you that night at your birthday party. Maybe it would have saved us all a lot of heartache.”
My mouth suddenly gets dry. “Why’s that?”
“Because if I kissed you, we would have ended up together. Me and Walker probably would have gotten into a fight, ending our friendship. Jeremy would have been forced to choose sides, which means we never would have entered that derby together, and if we never entered that derby we would have never won, and there would have been no celebration afterwards, and…”
I cup my hand over his mouth. “Perry, stop.” His eyes narrow slightly and I remove my hand. “You can’t rationalize every bad thing that happened to us and make it your fault. There’s a million moments where we could have made different choices that could have affected the way things turned out.”
He arches an eyebrow in challenge. “Name one.”
I chew on the tip of my thumbnail. All of the choices that come to mind involve things I don’t want to bring up right now. “This is stupid,” I say in frustration, turning to lay on my other side.
He laughs. “See, I’m right again.”
“You’re not right, Perry. I’m just not arguing with you. You must be pretty self-involved if you honestly believe you control fate.”
It goes silent in the room for the longest time, I hear him breathing and sighing randomly, so I know he’s not sleeping.
“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be a bitch.”
The mattress shifts and I feel his arm come around my waist. He kisses the side of my head. “You’re not a bitch.”
The warmth of his body pressed against me calms my throbbing heart. It’s been so long since I’ve be near someone in this way I was afraid I would never know what it felt like again.
“I just have one question,” I ask.
“Hmm, what’s that?” he says, his voice tired.
“What makes you think I would have let you kiss me?”
He laughs and his lips brush my throat. “You wouldn’t have?”
I smile. “I guess you’ll never know.”
The next morning, I get out of bed like I just had a one-night stand. I pull on a pair of sweatpants and practically run to the kitchen to make coffee. I didn’t schedule any appointments today so I basically have nothing to do but sit around and feel sorry for myself. In hindsight, I should have just worked.
Perry strolls around the corner squinting one eye open. “What fucking time is it? It’s still dark outside.”
I glance at the clock above the microwave. “A little after six.”
He walks over to the table and slumps down in one of the chairs. “You always get up at the ass crack of dawn?”
I laugh. “I guess so. I always have a lot of things to do before I open the shop.”
He yawns. “And what time is that?”
“I’m not open today.”
His eyes open wider. “Then let’s go back to bed.”
My stomach clenches. That’s not a sentence I ever expected to come out of Perry’s mouth in regards to me.
“I can’t sleep.”
Perry groans and runs his hand down his face. “Fuck, I’m sorry. Was I snoring?”
I suppress a grin. “Just a little.”
He stands up and walks over to the cabinet to grab a cup. “I can’t help it. Sloan used to complain all the time.” He looks over at me and laughs. “You’re a lot nicer than her though. She used to kick me so hard in the side I think she bruised some organs.”
I smile back, but it’s forced. The mention of Sloan right now pisses me off for some reason.
He leans back against the counter after pouring a cup and nods to me. “So, free day off. What do you want to do with it?”
I raise an eyebrow. “Don’t you have work?”
He grabs his throat and lets out a pathetic cough. “I think I’m coming down with something. Maybe I should call in sick?”
I shove him in the shoulder and he grins at me. “Your dad’s so gonna fire you.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” he says with a wink.
I cross my arms. “Okay, if you want to play sick today I have an idea.”
“Should I be scared?”
I smile for real this time. “No, it’ll be fun.”
15
The Cliffs
Perry- Then
After a long cold winter, when the weather’s nice again, there’s only one thing to do on the weekends—go to the cliffs. I’m not sure how the tradition started, or even how it got its name, but there’s a dirt road right off the highway that leads up to Dean’s rock. I also have no idea who Dean is or how he got a rock named after him, but now everyone just scribbles their own name on it when they’re wasted.
It’s the perfect place for underage drinking. The road leading up to the cliffs is approximately four miles, and the clearing at the top is surrounded by large pine trees that obscure our smoky bonfires from view. Plenty of time to get the heads-up and run from the cops. Not that we have or anything.
On this particular Saturday, I’m looking for a fight. Sloan and I have been officially broken up for three weeks. We’re rapidly approaching our record of twenty-seven days—but who’s counting? The difference this time is she’s hell bent on shoving her new boyfriend in my face. To be h
onest, it’s kind of unavoidable. Johnny Tate, although not a close friend, runs in the same circle as us. Sometimes we have separate parties, but at the end of the night, everyone usually ends up in one spot. Tonight happens to be ours.
What’s worse is she always chooses him to piss me off when we break up. He must enjoy the misery too because he keeps letting her do this shit. I, for one, am tired of it.
I’m sitting on the back of Walker’s tailgate when the dust from Johnny’s Navigator blazing up the road swirls in the air. Jeremy grabs my arm from beside me when I start to lunge forward.
“Don’t do it. She wants you to get mad.”
I clench my fist. “I am fucking mad.”
He grins and tilts his beer to me. “See, it’s working.”
I run my hand over my jaw and stare at his vehicle as it comes to stop. “What is she trying to prove anyway? I mean, she went out with him before and it didn’t last. This obviously is a bullshit relationship.”
“What? Like yours,” Jeremy teases.
I glare at him and jump to the ground. My irritation threatens to explode inside of me and I turn around and point to his chest. “Fuck you.”
He holds his hands up with a laugh. “Hey, I’m not the bad guy here.” He nods to Sloan sauntering over to the kegs. “It’s over there, in that tight little sweater.” He bites his knuckle. “Damn! I get it, dude. I would let her make me suffer too.”
“Shut the fuck up,” I mutter, walking away from him. Tess and Walker are huddled close together over by a cluster of trees. I don’t want to interrupt them if they’re having some kind of moment, but I also don’t want to talk to Jeremy right now when he thinks he’s fucking funny. Thankfully, Tess sees me and waves me over. Walker smiles.
She eyes me with concern. “You okay?”
I laugh bitterly. “I’m great. Sloan’s a fucking whore, but other than that, everything’s fucking great.”
Walker scoffs. “Come on, you’re just mad at her. You don’t mean that.”
I glance over my shoulder and see her clinging to his side. My jaw ticks. “Right now, I do.”
Walker punches me in the arm. “Hey, you’re a single guy. Take advantage of it.” He hovers his hands over Tess’s ears and whispers to her, “Earmuffs, babe.” She rolls her eyes when he pushes his hands down so she can’t listen and leans into me. “There’s a shit ton of hot girls at this party just dying to get with you.”
He releases Tess and she shoves him in the chest. “Not funny.”
Walker grabs her and plants kisses all over her face. “Nobody is as hot as you, but you’re all mine.”
She laughs and tries to pull away from him, but I know she’s not really trying too hard. I’m glad Tess found someone who makes her so happy, but it also makes me question my own choices. Are a few good days here and there really worth all this fucking bullshit? I take another look back to Sloan and I have my answer. Time stands still for me the moment I see Sloan. I love her that much. I can’t explain the pull she has on me, but I can’t break it.
She’s standing by herself now, and Johnny is surrounded by a group of guys loudly recounting every event of tonight’s game. Even in the pale moonlight, I can see it in her eyes. She’s as miserable as I am, but she’s too proud to admit it. Usually after a couple days I make an attempt to apologize for whatever it is she thinks I did, but this time I didn’t. I didn’t call or text her at all. If she thinks I’m going to cave first, she has another thing coming.
Determined to catch a nice buzz, I walk over to the keg and refill my cup. Sloan comes up beside me and nudges my arm. I don’t even flinch.
She sighs. “So, what? We can’t even be friends now?”
I laugh darkly. “We’re not friends, Sloan. That’s not how this works.”
“But I miss talking to you. I miss…you.”
I keep my eyes away from her and stare directly into the fire burning in front of us. There are enough people around that nobody can hear what we’re saying, but if she keeps this up, the attention will come. Everyone loves a fight, and me and Sloan are legends in that department.
I take a sip of my beer. “That’s too fucking bad, isn’t it?”
And that’s when I make my mistake. I look at her. Her eyes fill with tears and she glances away from me. No matter how much I hate her at any particular time, I can’t hurt her.
With a sigh, I reach for her hand but she pulls it back. “No!” She brushes a tear away angrily. “I’m not the one who messed up.”
I toss my cup to the ground and take a step toward her. “Seriously? You’re here with another fucking guy and you’re blaming this on me? I don’t even remember what we’re fighting about.”
She scoffs. “Of course you don’t.”
The harsh tone of our voices is attracting the attention I didn’t want. With a quick glance over my shoulder, I see Johnny shooting daggers in my direction. He nods to two of his friends and starts walking over. I guess I’m about to get my wish.
Sloan cocks her head to me. “That’s your problem, Perry. You do dumb shit and never want to take accountability for your actions.”
I can feel my face getting hotter, and it’s not because I’m standing so close to the flames. I grit my teeth. “Sloan, I don’t fucking remember why you’re mad at me. Why don’t you tell me so I can fix it?”
She shakes her head. “You should really lay off the pot. Then maybe you would remember things.”
Nothing is clicking in my head right now, and the more I stand here and argue with her the angrier I’m going to get. I let out a growl and grip my hair in my hands.
“You’re so fucking frustrating! Just tell me what you want.”
Johnny makes it to her side and pulls her away from me. “I don’t think you should talk to my girlfriend like that.”
Now this guy wants to get involved? Okay, we’ll see how this goes.
I laugh. “Dude, she’s not your girlfriend.”
He gives me an incredulous look and tightens his arm around her waist. “Um, that’s exactly what she is. She’s tired of your shit.”
“My shit,” I chuckle under my breath. I take a step forward and shove him in the chest. When he stumbles back, I pull Sloan out of the way. “You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into right now. I suggest you stay the fuck out of it.” By the time I say the last part, I’m inches from his face.
He doesn’t look fazed and a circle is forming around us. I spot Jeremy out of the corner of my eye, waiting to pounce if shit gets real.
Johnny shoves me back and I can feel the anger trickling all the way to my fingertips.
“I’m not going to stand here and watch you treat her that way.”
“I’ll treat her any way I want.” I get in his face again. “Because at the end of the day, she belongs to me.”
That must have been the trigger. No guy can refuse a challenge like that. He swings and hits me in the cheek with enough force that my head flies back—and then it’s chaos.
We go hit for hit like we’re in a boxing ring, slowly moving our circle closer to the end of the cliff. When my feet hit the rock, I hear Tess scream.
“Oh my god! Someone stop them. They’re too close to the edge.”
Her words don’t really register until Johnny lands another brutal hit to the side of my face. I regain my stance and wrestle him to the ground, off to the side of imminent death. When I have him to the ground, I pound my fists into every part of his body I can get to before several pairs of hands pull me off.
My chest heaves from exhaustion as I survey around at the stunned faces who were cheering moments ago. One of the other guys helps Johnny to his feet as I wipe the blood from my lip. With one last menacing glare, I turn to walk away.
“This isn’t over, Michaels,” he calls to me as soon as my back is turned.
I laugh to myself, grabbing a beer from some random person on my past. I raise it to a silent Sloan, standing off to the side.
“I hope you’re
happy.” I nod down to the torn fabric hanging off my neck. “This is my favorite fucking shirt.”
I don’t give her a chance to reply as I tilt back the rest of the beer and toss the cup into the fire. Everyone parts a path on my way through, and I keep going until I hit the dirt road. I have every intention of walking all the way home.
Four minutes later, Walker picks me up in his jeep.
The next morning, Sloan and I get back together.
16
Wake Me Up When September Ends
Tess- Then
Walker got a tattoo gun today. It was totally random and a little scary. I had no idea he was even interested in that sort of thing. Perry is the one who is amazing at art. He can draw anything you ask him to.
The story behind how he got it is also kind of vague. He said some guy owed him a favor. I’m not sure what he could have done to be owed something, but there is definitely something the guys aren’t telling me. We are usually always in one big group, but lately, they’ve been pairing off and ‘running errands’ at all times of the day.
I’m sitting on a stool out in the garage while everyone hovers around Walker. Perry is the idiot who volunteered to go first and now they’re trying to decide what to permanently mark his body with. Personally, I think he’s crazy.
“I think I like this one,” Perry says, pointing to the tribal design in the book they are looking through.
Walker rubs his chin, studying the page. “I don’t know. That may be a little out of my league at the moment.”
I laugh. “Everything is out of your league at the moment. You have no idea what you’re doing.”
He scoffs at me. “Please. I’ve watched every episode of Ink Masters. It can’t be that hard.”
Leaning forward, I shoot him an incredulous look. “Walker, that does not qualify you as an expert.” I motion toward a smirking Perry. “This is going to be on his body forever. You need to take this seriously.”