The figure was too short to be Gen.
Its chest was too small to be Meg’s.
He was almost sheepish that he had noticed that, but then shrugged it away.
He was supposed to notice those things. It was his job.
This tape gave him nothing. He didn’t recognize a single person on it. He sighed and rubbed his temples. For some reason, telling Meg that he didn’t have any new information was making him unsettled.
He hated the sad look on her face.
That annoyed him. He was from the Bronx, jaded and no-nonsense. He shouldn’t have been allowing her to influence him at all, much less feel unsettled. Yet, in unguarded moments, he’d caught himself thinking about her. The haunted look in her eyes made him feel melancholy, and made him yearn to fix everything that troubled her. She was ambitious yet warm, smart yet still soft. It was an intoxicating combination, or it would be to someone else.
He told himself that it was of no consequence to him.
Whether or not that was a lie was also of no consequence to him.
She’s married, he reminded himself, and that did, in fact, make a difference.
For Hawkins, marriage was sacred. He’d never tread on its sanctity.
Never mind the fact that she rarely spoke of her husband, and when she did, it seemed perfunctory. She didn’t sound the same as when she spoke of her son, or her sister. During those times, she lit up, she glowed, her eyes melted. Not so when she spoke about Joe.
That doesn’t matter, he told himself. He looked at the computer again and refreshed his email. Lo and behold, the search warrant had landed in his box.
He was lightning fast to print it out, and the first call he made was to her bank.
The second, to the condo offices.
The third, to her sister.
He ignored the way her relieved voice affected him. He ignored how his heart rate picked up when she said she’d meet him in twenty minutes. It didn’t matter. He was a professional. He headed for the coffee shop.
She was five minutes late, but he didn’t mind. She came through the door, flushed and in a black turtleneck sweater. Some women might seem frumpy, but Meg looked graceful and classy. She sat in front of him, and he caught a whiff of her perfume. Clean, yet sweet and sophisticated.
“What did you find out?” she asked quickly, after she ordered a cup of coffee. He told her of striking out with the surveillance but then showed her the warrant.
“Are you going there?” she asked, staring at him.
“Maybe,” he answered. “I’ll ask someone from the Chicago PD to go first, and if needed, I’ll follow.”
“You mean, if you find something there,” she pressed. When he nodded, she continued, “You won’t find anything. I feel it. She wanted nothing more than to be finished with Chicago. With all of it.”
“I’m also going to touch base with the police in Cedarburg,” he said. “Maybe her stuff has arrived from the movers, maybe there will be a storage unit there. You never know.”
“Because you really think my sister had something going on that none of us know about.”
“Well, unless you or her husband had something to do with her disappearance, it’s the only other logical answer. Have you changed your mind about Thad?”
Meg was quiet, drumming her fingers lightly on the table, remembering how staunchly she’d defended Thad to Hawk in earlier interviews. The way he’d been this week was so radically different than anything she’d seen from him that she couldn’t help but second-guess.
“I don’t know,” she said finally. “Maybe there’s more to him than I knew.”
“As I’ve said from the beginning.” Hawk nodded. “No one knows everything about someone else. And you were only his sister-in-law. You only knew what Gen knew, or what Gen wanted you to know.”
Meg was determined not to tell him otherwise, that she did in fact have firsthand experience with Thad. She found that she didn’t want Hawk to think badly of her.
God, you’re stupid, she berated herself. But it didn’t change the way she felt as Hawk observed her with those eyes. She swallowed hard.
“That’s true,” she agreed instead. “So, that’s why I’m changing my mind. You were right. I don’t know what Thad is capable of.”
She thought about that night in his bed, and how he’d been a good lover, generous and determined to bring her pleasure. Was that because he’d actually cared, or because he was a perfectionist? She didn’t know.
“Well, I’m going to get on this. I just wanted to let you know that things will be moving. I knew you were worried.” His voice was gruff.
“Thank you. I appreciate that.” She swallowed the rest of her coffee and said goodbye to the detective. Somehow, as she walked away, she felt as though he were watching her go, but she didn’t turn around to check.
She continued walking for blocks and blocks, lost in her thoughts and thinking of her sister.
Poor Gen. Meg loved her so much, yet she had completely screwed her over in the worst possible way. Regardless of the way she’d separated herself from her behavior at the time, Meg couldn’t excuse it away. She’d been reprehensible.
Selfishly, she found herself hoping that her transgression with Thad wouldn’t be uncovered, so that when they found Gen, she’d never have to know. It would hurt her so much.
Meg picked up her phone and dialed Thad’s number.
“Hi,” she greeted him softly. “Can we talk?”
“Okay,” he answered, his voice flat.
“Listen, I’m sorry for everything. I don’t even remember now if it was you or me, at first, who made the first move. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t have slept with you. I risked my relationship with my sister over one night, and it was so, so, so stupid. Please, can we agree not to tell anyone? Not even the detective?”
“If we don’t tell them, we could get charged with obstruction if they ever find out,” Thad pointed out, and he didn’t have any reason to care. His relationship with Gen was over. “Besides, it’s hurtful that you’d dismiss it as one night.”
Meg rolled her eyes, and the bile rose in her stomach. “We were both out of our minds.”
“You know the chemistry between us was there long before that night,” he said, and he sounded almost bothered. Meg flinched at that.
“Thad, you didn’t love me. I didn’t love you. We needed something more out of life, you and Gen were...what you were, and it was a perfect storm of bad excuses. I’m as much to blame, so I’m not blaming you. I’m just saying, let’s never tell anyone.”
“I still don’t know why you won’t talk to me about it,” he snapped, and she knew, in that instant, why he’d been such a dick lately.
It wasn’t about Gen at all.
It was about her.
Did he... Could he possibly have feelings for her?
“You know why. Because you cheated on her, and she found out, and it would’ve killed her to think that you were carrying on an affair with me.”
“If you’d ever bothered to ask me yourself, I would’ve told you that Gen was wrong. I wasn’t having an affair.”
Meg rolled her eyes. “As someone you did in fact sleep with, I know you’re not averse to it.”
“I made love with you,” he said slowly. “A woman I had admired for years. A woman who I know felt connected to me, too. I did not have an affair with anyone. Not when all I could think about was you.”
“Oh, my God. Don’t talk like that,” she answered quickly, her head spinning. “I didn’t know you felt that way.”
“You never asked,” he said simply. “Your sister doesn’t love me anymore, and you know it.”
“That doesn’t excuse anything,” she said limply.
“You sound so ashamed,” Thad replied, and it sur
prised him that he cared. But he did.
“I’m ashamed of my behavior,” she agreed. “And you should be ashamed of yours. When are you arriving here?”
“I’m already at the hotel.”
“The hotel? As in, my hotel?”
“Yeah. I’m in room 302.”
“You have to stay someplace else,” she told him quickly.
“Don’t trust yourself around me?” he answered.
“Just stay somewhere else.”
“I think that would look suspicious,” he replied. “I mean, if there wasn’t anything between us, surely we would be adult enough to join forces to look for Gen.”
Meg thought on that, and he wasn’t wrong.
“Okay, fine. You can stay here, but don’t get any ideas. We’re still finished, Thad.”
“No promises.”
He hung up before she could protest. Bewildered, she paused. There was no possible way he felt anything for her. She’d been a distraction for him, a seedy sense of excitement. Nothing more.
But she remembered the tone in his voice for the rest of the night, and it wasn’t one of indifference. She didn’t want to take the time to think of the implications of that. She had too much to deal with right now, too many balls in the air.
30
Gen, Then
Lately, Gen was at her apartment more than she wasn’t.
Further, she liked it that way. She started to view her condo with Thad as a hotel stay, and when she was able to return to her apartment, she was going home. She had added more furnishings, more art, more soft blankets, more journals, more of everything. It was a fully stocked home with a desk for her writing.
It was her home.
It wasn’t like Thad noticed. He almost always texted that he would be late, not to wait up. So Gen rarely returned to the condo before 10:00 p.m.
When Jenkins had something to tell her, he came to her apartment, just as he was doing today. He knocked on her door with two short raps, and she answered. He went inside, as he had several other times, and sat himself on the end of her couch. She brought him an iced tea.
“I have more,” he said simply, turning his phone to her.
There, on his screen, she saw Thad walking with his arm around a woman’s shoulders, his head leaned in as he talked with her.
“That’s not my sister,” Gen pointed out.
“No, it isn’t. Apparently, he’s spreading himself around.”
“Do you know her name?”
“I’m working on it.”
Gen nodded. She should feel something.
But at this point, all she felt was steady. Determined. Focused.
After Jenkins left, she called her sister.
When Meg answered, it was all Gen could do to sound normal, to not rail and scream at her sister, because above all else, they were blood. They had shared a room until Gen had left for college. They had shared clothing, parents, a life. And then Meg had shared Gen’s husband. Only she didn’t know that Gen knew. And now Thad was stepping out on her, too. Karma was such a delightful bitch.
“Hey, sis,” Meg said, cheerfully unaware of Gen’s thoughts.
“Hey,” Gen replied. “I was thinking of coming over to hang out tonight to play with Joey. I haven’t seen him in weeks.”
“I’ve got an eight p.m. surgery tonight, but you can head over and hang out. I’ll let Joe know—Joey will flip.”
Gen smiled. “That would be perfect. Have a good surgery.”
“Always,” Meg answered confidently. And she was. Confident. She did everything in her life with 110 percent. Apparently, even Gen’s husband.
Gen cringed.
She chose her outfit carefully.
Meg deserves this, she thought to herself as she got ready and dabbed perfume behind each ear. It was like when they were little, and Meg would get so jealous of Gen for every little thing Gen did. It wasn’t Gen’s fault she was older. It wasn’t her fault Meg had to live in her shadow when she was in school. Was that what this was about?
Did Meg have to prove herself by trying to take Gen’s husband?
She shook her head and grabbed a cab, relaxing during the ride across town. When she rang the doorbell, Joe answered. He looked at her in surprise, and he was wearing sweats and a T-shirt.
He was clearly relaxing.
“I’ve interrupted your evening,” she said. “I’m so sorry, Joe.”
He shook his head and laughed, opening the door wider. “Of course not. I just didn’t expect you.”
“Meg didn’t call? She said she would. I wanted to come hang out with Joey.”
“Ahhh. Meg always gets distracted, and rarely remembers to call.” He rolled his eyes, good-natured, as he closed the door behind them. “Joey’s in his room. Want something to drink?”
“Whatcha got?”
“Beer.”
“Okay. I guess, then...I’ll have a beer,” she chose. He laughed again.
“Your sister has some Blue Moon. I’ll get you one.”
Gen rambled down the hall to Joey’s room, an ocean of blues and turquoises, with army men on the floor and trucks rounding the corners of the bed. Joey, hunkered down in a “fort” behind the bed, peered up at her, his blond hair unruly.
His eyes widened. “Aunt Nini!”
Why he’d always called her that, no one knew. But it was endearing, and so was the way he catapulted himself into her arms.
“Come play army.” He pulled on her hand.
She eyed the battlefield below.
“Hmm. Did aliens take over the Earth?” she guessed. He shook his head. “Okay. Did the apocalypse happen, and the military is the only thing left?” Joey narrowed his eyes.
“What’s an acopalis?”
She shook her head. “Never mind. What started this war?”
She knelt on her knees and pushed one green man forward.
“The world split into two sides, and they argued forever after.”
“Wow, that’s a long time,” Gen told him. He nodded.
“That’s how all the stories Mommy reads me end. Ever after.”
“That sounds about right,” Gen agreed. “So why are they arguing?”
Joey seemed surprised by that and thought on it. “I guess they just grew apart,” he said, shrugging. It seemed like such an adult thing to say, that Gen burst out laughing, causing Joey to grimace at her.
“You know, like what Mommy said happened to you and Uncle Thad.”
That stopped her laughing.
“Mommy said that?” she asked quietly, and Joey was nodding as his father walked in the room. She looked up, and Joe’s cheeks were red. He’d heard.
“I’m sure she’s just speculating,” Joe told Gen. “Or Joey heard wrong.”
But Gen knew he was lying.
“Meg thinks we’ve grown apart?” She held her hand out for the bottle of beer, and Joe obliged, pressing it into her palm.
“Maybe. I dunno. You know how she thinks everything is her business.” He tried to dismiss it, but Gen wouldn’t have it.
“We’re fine,” she insisted to him. “Thad and me. He’s been busy, but that happens to everyone. I mean, look at you and Meg. She’s always at work. And you guys are fine.”
She peeked at him as she said it, and he almost seemed to flinch.
“Schedules do make it hard,” Joe agreed with her. “So I get it. Your sister is a very driven person. Thad is, too.”
“So am I,” Gen told him indignantly. “I work just as hard. I just don’t make my family suffer for it.”
“To be fair, you’re a writer,” Joe said gently. “You can make your own hours. They can’t.”
“My mom always said you’d defend Meg over anything, even murder,” Gen told him, but she smiled a little. She admired the loyalty, now
more than ever.
“She doesn’t usually need defending,” Joe answered.
“She doesn’t now,” Gen said, deciding to hide her annoyance. “I’m just surprised she’d say that.”
“She didn’t mean it,” Joe added.
“Do you think it’s true?” she asked, studying him. He was fit, muscular, good-natured, handsome. Why in the world had her sister been unfaithful to him?
“Do I think that you and Thad are growing apart?” He lifted an eyebrow. “I don’t know, Gen. I don’t get to see you guys enough.”
But he did. Enough to have an opinion on this.
He reached around her to pick up an army man. He smelled like cedar, and she liked it. It was manly. She’d never liked Thad’s cologne. It was so much like a sea breeze it was almost flowery. Too feminine for her taste. In her opinion, and in all of her romance books, men should be rugged. At the very least, manly.
She watched Joe play with Joey, watched their innocent and wholesome interactions, and her heart pulled a little. When had she gotten so jaded? Was she willing to ruin this picture in front of her, just to get back at her sister?
But it wasn’t her fault, she thought to herself.
Meg did this. Not her.
Even still.
She was the older sister. She should be the bigger person, the more mature. She demonstrated her maturity by having her army man blow up Joey’s dugout filled with his plastic battalion. He crowed and tackled her, unable to contain himself. Little boys were so rambunctious, she decided, after wrestling for five minutes and almost getting a black eye.
“Okay, okay.” Joe finally called it, putting his hands up. “Aunt Nini is fragile. You could break her.” He laughed as Gen glared at him, but she didn’t hesitate to stand up, out of Joey’s range.
The little boy giggled like an imp, and announced that he needed a snack.
“No, not a snack,” Joe told him. “Dinner.” Joe glanced at Gen. “You stayin’?”
“If you’ll have me.”
He chuckled, and told her she’d have to help, and they went to the kitchen to make spaghetti. Meg’s kitchen was something straight out of an interior-design magazine, and it was almost intimidating.
The Last to See Her Page 13