“I don’t know,” he answered. “He just said he saw you walking down the street and wondered why a young girl was alone so late at night. When he approached you, you were coughing up blood and basically collapsed in his arms.”
“My God.” I completely fell against the wall after hearing that, numbing shock taking over my body. The vampire side always fighting for control was nowhere to be found. I felt completely human, and at that moment it really sucked.
“I’m sorry, Ava.” Chance walked over and stood close to me, but didn’t touch me. He just stood staring down at me as the shock of his words settled into my mind. I had been dying. And a vampire had saved me. I could taste the irony.
“For what?” The words left my mouth in barely a whisper, my voice strangled by the truth I had so desperately wanted.
“For not stopping him.” I looked up at Chance then, the sadness and honesty on his face was painful to see. He truly was sorry.
“But if you had stopped him, I would be dead.”
“That would have been better than this. Than letting him turn you into a monster like him.”
The rage I had been fighting so hard to control since waking up in that coffin—that had all but disappeared a moment ago—came roaring back in full force, enveloping me and taking complete control.
“Screw you, Chance Caldon!” I shoved him as hard as I could—which apparently was pretty hard thanks to my new super-strength—and began walking away from him. He quickly jumped up from where he had landed and bounded down the sidewalk after me.
“Ava,” he shouted, but I ignored him. He ran up behind me and grabbed my arm, spinning me around to face him. “Ava, you promised.”
“Promised what? That I wouldn’t freak out at you for calling me a monster? I never promised that.”
“I told you there were things I couldn’t tell you. Things you didn’t need to know. You just wouldn’t let it go.”
“So this is my fault?” I could feel my fangs tingling behind my gums, eager to strike. Part of me wanted to let them, to give in and accept that I was the monster he obviously thought I was. But the human part of me was too strong to let that happen. So I forced myself to calm down—at least enough to not vamp out right there on the sidewalk.
“No, I’m not saying that.” Chance fumbled with his words, his eyes erratic and searching. “But I warned you.”
“So the truth you couldn’t tell me was that you think I’m a hideous monster like Aldric?” Chance just stared at me, silent. “So why are you helping me?”
“Because I didn’t save you before all this happened.” His words grew softer as he continued. “Now I have the chance to make it right. And I’m not going to mess it up.” I knew he meant what he was saying, that no matter what, he would see this thing through to the end. Even though I was madder at him than ever before—well, hurt would be a better description—I could at least count on him to help me get my life back. Maybe then he wouldn’t see me as a monster anymore.
I took a few deep breaths to diffuse the tension between us before going on. “Fine,” I said plainly. “You answered the question. And I appreciate your honesty, even though it sucks.” Chance winced, and I felt the tiniest bit relieved. “But there’s another one you’ve been avoiding answering.”
“What?”
“Why are you helping him? Why are you helping me?” Chance stared at me like I had just kicked his puppy or something, totally confused by my question. “It doesn’t make any sense. You don’t know me. You don’t know Aldric. At least, I don’t think you do.”
“I don’t.”
“Then why help him? Why take all the crap from him you take, just to help someone you don’t even know?” I could feel my anger slowly drifting away, being replaced by a haunting sadness. Sadness that this boy, this stranger who I didn’t know, was the only person in my life willing to help me.
“I can’t answer that.”
“Can’t? Or won’t?” He looked deeply at me, sunlight casting shadows on his face and making the bright jade green of his eyes even more intense than usual.
“Both, I guess,” he answered honestly. I wanted to hit him, wanted to make him feel as bad as I did upon hearing him say that. But I didn’t. I didn’t hit, I didn’t kick, I didn’t even get mad. I laughed. “What’s so funny?” Chance asked as I was nearing the doubling-over point in my laughter.
“It’s just,” more laughter, “you always try to stand on both sides, huh?”
“What does that mean?”
“You say you won’t tell me, but also that you can’t tell me. That way, I don’t get mad, right?” I finally got my laughing under control, though I kept a tiny smile on my face. “You can’t have it both ways, you know.”
“That’s not what I’m doing, Ava,” he said, heavy anger behind his words. “I can’t stop you from getting mad at me. I would probably be pissed off too, if I were you.”
“Then why won’t you just tell me what’s really going on so I don’t get mad?”
“Because I can’t. Honestly, I can’t.” I blew a deep breath from my lungs, totally frustrated with him. “Look,” he went on, “you don’t know anyone else but me, right? So what do you have to lose by trusting me?”
“Oh I don’t know, maybe my life?”
“Never.” His voice changed with that one word, his features growing serious and intense. “I won’t let that happen, Ava. I promise you that. That goes against everything I—”
“Everything what?” I hated that I interrupted him, but the words fell from my mouth before I could stop them. “Everything you stand for? Everything you believe in?”
“Yes.”
“So what do you stand for, Chance? What do you believe in?”
“I stand for what’s right.” He took a few steps toward me, closing the noticeable gap between us. “And I believe in you.” Five little words that somehow made up for all that had been said. I couldn’t be mad at him after saying that, after saying he believed in me. No matter what he was keeping from me, I at least knew that much.
“I’m glad someone does,” I answered, my throat suddenly itching from the close proximity of his blood. It wasn’t like I wanted to drink it—not really—but being that close to it, to him, was a little uncomfortable. Not uncomfortable enough to make me move away, apparently, since I stayed put.
“You don’t believe in yourself, Ava?”
“I don’t know.” I was being completely honest, something I wished he could do with me. “I don’t think I have what it takes to get through this.”
“I think you do.” Again, he knew exactly what to say. “In fact, I know you do.”
“How?”
“You woke up buried underground, found out you were a vampire and that you have to do some pretty horrible things to save yourself. And you didn’t back down. You stood up and said ‘I’m ready.’ If that’s not enough proof for you, then just know that it’s enough for me.”
“I’m glad you have so much faith in me.” I smiled again, though this time without laughter behind it. He infuriated me, no question, but he was also being sincere and truly was there to stand by me and help me get my life back. How could I hate him for that? “And I’m sorry for pushing you.”
“Don’t apologize.” He stepped away then, and I felt the awkwardness of him not being close. It really aggravated me, that feeling. “I should be apologizing to you.”
“Yeah, you should.” I smiled at him, suddenly forgetting all the lies and secrets. Or at least forgetting them for the time being.
“You may be joking, but I truly am sorry, Ava. I’m sorry for everything that’s happened to you. And I’m sorry for keeping things from you.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “For now.” He smirked and looked away from me, like a shy little boy who was just told how cute he is. “And I understand why you’re keeping things from me, I do. But just know that you can trust me, just like you say I can trust you.”
“You can trust me, Ava. That, I w
ould never lie about.”
“Fine, then let’s drop this and get back before your mom sends out a search party.” He didn’t answer, only smiled and began walking back toward home. We moved down the sidewalk slowly, every so often bumping arms or shoulders. I actually liked how having him so close made me feel, almost like I was special in a way. But all too quickly the events of the day flooded my mind again and my face went somber.
“Okay, what just happened?” Chance asked, looking at me intently. “Where did you go?” I hated to tell him, hated to make him mad again. But I knew that if he found out—and he would, more than likely from Aldric—he would never forgive me for not telling him. Nor forgive himself for not being there to protect me.
“Something happened at the mall today,” I started, pushing the pent up air from my lungs. “But don’t freak, because I’m fine.” I lied a little. My chest still hurt like hell and my head was a little dizzy from the horrific ringing, but I didn’t want him to know all that.
“What?” he asked calmly, obviously trying to contain the anger and frustration and fear that I knew were bubbling just under the surface.
“Another one,” I said, knowing he’d get that I meant vampire. We didn’t look at each other; we didn’t have to. He understood. I could tell by his tone, and by the energy radiating off him, what mood he was in. Seeing it on his face would be redundant. He stopped walking once we reached the crossing.
“I knew it,” he spat through clenched teeth. I watched the tiny vein running along his temple pulse with anger. His heartbeat was so alluring. I looked away, an unfamiliar yet comfortable grind in my stomach.
“There’s nothing you could’ve done,” I said. “You can’t be with me every second.” I admired his strength and loyalty. I knew it would take a long time for him to get over not being there.
“I knew I should have gone with you.” He was looking in my direction, but I could tell his mind was someplace else, someplace where he was more than likely beating himself up. I felt so bad for him, but at the same time, a huge amount of guilt was weighing down on me. My being here was ruining his life. He couldn’t focus on anything else but me.
“Did you kill it?” he asked, finally bringing his eyes to meet mine. There was sadness there, small but strong. If I hadn’t been standing there, I believe he would have been crying.
“No,” I said, preparing for fireworks. “Kayla did.” Chance’s eyes grew wide, his face filled with shock. I knew exactly how he felt. I felt the same way watching her actually kill the vampire.
“How the hell?” he yelled. “What was she doing there?” He was looking around wildly, like a trapped animal searching for escape, his face running red with angry heat.
“It all happened so fast.”
“My mom,” Chance blurted. “What did she see?” I heard frenzied panic in his voice.
“Nothing,” I answered quickly, hoping to calm him down. “We told your mom we needed a bathroom break when I smelled the blood. We left her behind.” Just the thought of his mom finding out what I was terrified me. That was the last thing I needed.
“Tell me exactly what happened.” Chance focused in on me then, his face serious and determined. I took a deep breath and explained all that had happened, the words flying from my mouth so fast I barely heard them. Chance listened intensely, paying full attention to every detail. He went into another panic when I spoke of Kayla’s crime-fighting friends.
“Erik and Lila,” I said with sarcasm. “The stake-wielding siblings. You should have seen them, Chance. They looked like bad versions of Buffy.” I actually remembered watching that show. Apparently my mind was only good at conjuring up TV references. Only then did I realize that I was Buffy; well, except for the whole half-human hybrid thing. I almost laughed. “And that Lila has quite the attitude. She really pissed me off.” I sounded like a typical high school girl, mad that she lost cheer squad captain to her rival. If I hadn’t been so mad at the memory of Lila, I would have noticed my embarrassing demeanor.
“Ava,” Chance said, taking hold of my shoulders, “can you focus on what’s important here?” I stared up at him, momentarily blinded by my hatred toward Lila. “You’ve been here a few days and three more people know what you are.” The way he said ‘what’ made my skin crawl, like I was some sort of wild animal. “At this rate, the whole town will know you’re a vampire inside of a week.” He let go of me and ran a hand through his hair, the curls once again falling back into place with natural ease. “Okay,” he continued. “We need to find Aldric.”
“What?” I asked, finally able to hear what he was saying over Lila’s voice chanting in my head. “Why?” I felt a cold chill run up my back; it was fear. I was scared to death of what would happen to Kayla—and a little scared for Erik and Lila—if Aldric found out she knew about me, about us. His life was in just as much danger as mine if word got out that vampires existed. I knew he would kill her, and I couldn’t let that happen.
“He needs to know, Ava. He can protect you better than I can.” Chance’s voice was strained, like he was holding back tears. “You just came face to face with three vampire hunters. That doesn’t scare you?” Did it? I honestly didn’t know the answer to that.
“I was face to face with three vampire hunters that saved my life.” I realized that I, too, was fighting back tears. “They could have killed me right then, but they didn’t. They let me go. And now you want to throw them to the wolves.” I was trying hard to keep my voice down. The streets were empty, but if someone had their windows open in their house, they would have heard everything.
“I will if it helps save your life. I’m here to protect you, Ava. Not them.”
“You worry too much.” I knew when I said it that it hurt. I saw it roll across his face. It took a few seconds for him to speak again.
“Maybe I do,” he finally said. “But that’s for me to decide, not you.” And just like that, all the anger I had for him came rushing back.
“You don’t control me, Chance, do you get that?” I snapped.
It was like my words slapped him in the face. “I’m not trying to,” he snapped back. “Maybe you should try the same.” I wanted to scream at him, yell at him until I couldn’t see straight. But once again, I kept quiet. I kept quiet all the way back to the house. He didn’t speak either, each of us furious with the other but neither of us willing to back down. Once we made it to the walk leading up to the house, I finally gave in.
“So what now?” I asked, waiting anxiously for him to tell me that he hated me and never wanted to see me again.
“Now,” he said, taking a deep breath and exhaling, letting the awkwardness of the moment go with it. “We go tell Aldric about the vampire hunters.” I knew by Chance’s tone that arguing with him would have made no difference. He intended on exposing Kayla and Erik and Lila to the most dangerous man I had ever known. As we climbed the steps and went inside, I couldn’t help but think that my crappy life was about to get a whole lot worse.
1
5. UNITED
I tried my best to get Chance to agree to leave Kayla out of it when he told Aldric about what happened at the mall. I needed at least one person who could teach me how to take down vampires that was not an actual vampire. And after nearly an hour of convincing on my part, he agreed to only mention Erik and Lila. I felt as good as possible, considering I had probably just sentenced two people to die, and after I helped clean the kitchen—no way was I letting his mom do it every night—I crawled into bed completely exhausted.
That night, I had a dream that felt more like a memory than anything else before. Right away I knew I had had it before, many times throughout my life. I’m sitting on a park bench, wearing a gleaming white sun dress littered with tiny, hand-painted sunflowers, eagerly awaiting the arrival of my parents. The sun is bright in the sky, bathing everything in a warm yellow glow. Kids are playing catch with their parents on the lush green lawn in front of me, a group of teenage boys throwing around a football be
hind me. The world feels magical, alive, perfect. I can feel the excitement running through my body; giddy anticipation of seeing my parents walking hand-in-hand toward me, my mom’s long auburn hair bouncing as she walks, my dad smiling wide.
But something is different this time. I’m different. I’m still wearing the same white dress, the wind catching it every so often and twirling it around my legs. I still feel the electric energy coursing through me, the anticipation of what is about to happen almost too much to bear. Then I see them, my parents, smiling and laughing as always. I stand, just as I have in all the other dreams, but I realize that this time I’m not waiting for them to rush over and smother me in kisses and love. I’m not eager for my dad to lift me into the sky and spin me around and around as I watch clouds swirl over my head. No. This time I’m anxious for something else, something darker.
In this dream, I’m waiting to kill them.
I’m standing tall, much taller than the five-year-old me in all the other dreams. As tall as I would stand today. I’m not five this time. I’m not a little girl anymore. I’m sixteen and I’m myself and I’m waiting with growing but hidden impatience for the two people who abandoned me to come happily walking up the stone path so I can plunge my fangs into their veins and kill them. I can think of nothing else but watching them die.
I see them topping the hill to my right. They’re holding hands again. My mom’s hair billows in the afternoon breeze. Her features are smeared, like someone ran their hand through fresh paint. My dad’s face is blank, except for the smile my mind created there so many years ago. He has no eyes, no nose, no face from my memory; only a smile I cut from someone else in my life and pasted there. They are total strangers to me, as they have always been. But this time, it doesn’t matter. I’m not crying as I watch them walk toward me like in all the other dreams. I am only thinking of what I’m about to do to them. How good it’s going to feel to make them hurt as much as I’ve had to hurt throughout my life. I realize I’m smiling at just the thought of taking their blood from them, at leaving them as nothing more than lifeless, empty bodies. The same way they left me.
Blood Born Page 13