Sebastian’s head slowly turned in my direction, a wicked, mischievous grin curling his lips. “Not yet,” he said, his voice low and calm. “But soon.” And with that, he sped off into the woods at the far back of the clearing, flanked by the two remaining vampires who had been fighting with Kayla and Erik. Just like that, it was over. Well, for now.
“Aldric!” I screamed for him again, and this time I saw movement. His body stirred, his legs sifting through the snow as he regained consciousness. He sat upright in the snow before standing and surveying the area. “He’s gone,” I said. “Help me!”
A quick glance in my direction, and Aldric was by my side in a flash, Kayla and Erik soon following. I didn’t look at them, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to see my failure reflected in their eyes. I didn’t want to watch them judge me—ridicule me and chastise me for not being strong enough or brave enough to keep just one human alive. I didn’t want to see them looking at me the way I would have looked at myself if I could.
But they didn’t. They didn’t judge me or blame me for what had happened. I could sense by their moods that they each blamed themselves. I felt all the emotions I was experiencing—the hurt and the guilt the strongest—in each of them, rumbling just below the surface, ready to spill out and take over. Just like me.
“Help him,” I cried, not directing my plea to anyone in particular. I would have let aliens take Chance right then if they could have saved his life.
“He’s dying,” Aldric commented. Though it sounded dry and callous, I felt he was trying to sound sincere. He reached out and put his cold hand on my shoulder, the chill from his skin a sharp contrast to the heat escaping my body. It almost made me shudder.
“No,” I cried softly, pulling Chance closer to me, so close I could faintly hear him breathing, shallow and weak. “We have to save him.”
“Nothing we can do.” I heard Erik’s voice, defeated. “Nothing we can do for anybody out here.” I knew he was talking about Lila, and my heart went out to him. The tiny piece of it that wasn’t breaking.
“You have to do it.” Kayla’s voice was shaky as she spoke. She sounded upset, and was most likely crying, though I couldn’t be certain since my attention was focused on Chance.
“She’s not ready for that,” Aldric whispered, probably hoping I didn’t hear him.
“Ready for what?” I managed to get the words out between sobs. I forced my eyes away from Chance’s face and looked at Aldric. “What am I not ready for?” I watched his eyes dart from Erik to Kayla then back to me. “Tell me, Aldric. Is there something you can do to save him?”
Aldric hesitated before finally saying “Yes.” I didn’t need to hear what it was; it didn’t matter. Whatever could be done, I wanted it done now.
“Okay then, what are you waiting for? Do it.” I laid Chance’s head gently on the grass and stood, his blood coating my hands. As badly as I wanted to bring them to my mouth and taste its sweetness again, I wiped the blood onto my dress as best I could. It didn’t help with masking the scent.
“You don’t want him to, trust me.” The sound of Erik’s voice was unsettling. I sensed by his cryptic tone that he had seen what Aldric could do, and he didn’t like it.
“It doesn’t matter what he does, as long as Chance is alive when it’s over.” I was glaring at Erik, furious that he of all people could think that I wouldn’t want to do whatever it took to save him. I’m sure if the roles were reversed, he’d be giving his life to save Lila.
“That’s the problem,” Erik added. I did my best to ignore him.
“Are you sure, Ava?” Aldric asked, slowly kneeling down next to Chance. “Because once I do this, there’s no turning back.” I had no clue what he was planning, my mind too frenzied, but my emotions had taken control of me and they wanted Chance to be okay.
“Positive,” I said, though I didn’t sound it. My body was practically shaking with emotion, and I felt like I would pass out at any moment. Aldric looked from me to Erik and Kayla, both of whom were pleading with their eyes for me to reconsider. Aldric had lifted Chance’s head off the ground and was cradling his bruised and bloodied body before the realization of what was about to happen finally creeped into my brain. No. It couldn’t be. I was mistaken, had to be.
But I wasn’t.
Nausea swept over me, and I became lightheaded over what I was agreeing to. But what other choice did I have? I couldn’t let him die. This was my only option. I couldn’t lose him. I had to have him in my life, no matter the cost. I would have to deal with trying to fix it later. Aldric saw the hesitation in my eyes. “Ava,” he started, but I couldn’t let him stop me.
“Just do it,” I whispered, my eyes filling with more solemn tears that spilled onto my cheeks. I knew that Aldric didn’t want to. He would have rather done anything else in the world. But time was fast running out, and Chance would soon be dead.
“Just a minute,” I blurted out as Aldric shifted Chance’s head, leaning it to the side. I slowly knelt down beside him, lifting his head from Aldric’s hands and holding it gently against me. My tears were falling freely now, my heart aching more than it ever had before. I slowly and carefully brushed some of the matted hair from Chance’s forehead and bent to kiss him on the one spot of skin not covered in blood. I let my lips linger there for as long as I could, savoring the heat pulsing from his body. I fought the tiny voice in my head screaming for me to stop what I was about to do, to scoop Chance up and take him somewhere where I could protect him and keep him safe. I couldn’t do that, regardless of how badly I wanted to. I had to save him, even if it meant condemning him to this horrible life.
“I love you, Chance Caldon,” I whispered into his ear. “And I promise I will fix this.” I couldn’t believe those three words came from me. All along, I had been denying what my mind knew was happening between us. I had been avoiding it with all my being, hoping that I could somehow protect him from me, from this life. But I couldn’t. No matter what, he was the one lying there dying, and I was the one who caused it all. So now, in that moment, I would no longer deny how I felt. I loved him. I knew it always, but was scared to admit it—to myself or anyone else. I loved that he had been willing to sacrifice himself for me, to help me. I loved that no matter what, he always had what was best for me in mind. I only wished I would have done the same for him. And now I had no idea if what I was doing was for him or for me. I was sure it was mostly for selfish reasons, because I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it in some way.
I held Chance for as long as I could before I handed him over to Aldric and moved to stand next to Kayla. Without speaking, she wrapped her arms around me and squeezed, our bond of friendship needed now more than ever. Aldric looked up at me with a dark sadness behind his eyes. I knew he was waiting for reassurance from me, so I closed my eyes and nodded, telling him to do what needed to be done. Without hesitation, Aldric unsheathed his fangs and sunk them into the already open wound on Chance’s neck, turning the boy I just realized I loved into a vampire.
As I stood there in the middle of the clearing, surrounded by my friends and the bodies of dead vampires, with painful tears marring my bruised and bloodied face, I said a prayer that one day he would be able to forgive me.
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