by Jane Ashford
“As a sort of poor relation,” she agreed. “Though we are not actually related.”
“Catherine Pryor—”
“She would be very kind to me and never make me feel my position,” Laura interrupted. “But nevertheless, I would.”
“You might marry,” he pointed out. “Living in the Pryor household, you would have the opportunity to meet eligible young men.”
“I shall never marry.”
Something in her tone appeared to startle Tompkins. He frowned slightly. His eyes bored into hers again, until Laura had to look away.
Silence fell over the room. Footsteps could be heard passing in the entryway outside. A voice was raised. Another responded. Laura wanted to speak, to ask for his decision, but she was afraid to hear it.
The door opened and one of the ambassador’s aides looked in. “There you are, sir,” he said. “Another messenger has arrived. The ambassador requests your presence.”
“I’ll be there momentarily,” Tompkins replied.
The aide nodded and, with one curious glance at Laura, shut the door again.
“I will think about your suggestion,” he added, rising from the armchair.
“How long?” she couldn’t help asking. She stood to face him.
He smiled. “Not long.”
She had no choice but to agree. “I…I have always wanted to do something important,” she told him.
“I know.”
“I can, if given the opportunity.”
“You must have patience, child.”
“There has been too much patience in my life,” she blurted out.
“In my business, there is no such thing as ‘too much patience.’” And with a gentle smile, he left her standing there.
Laura clasped her hands tightly together, then turned and walked over to the window. The courtyard was bustling with stablemen bringing horses and cloaked and spurred travelers catching the reins and setting off. Laura looked for Gavin, afraid to find him. But he wasn’t among those leaving just now. Maybe he was already gone, she thought. A cold numbness spread through her at the idea that she might have seen him for the last time.
* * *
A little later, Gavin Graham was summoned to the study. Expecting to receive orders to depart, he went at once, and found the room empty except for George Tompkins sitting serenely behind the large desk. “Come in,” said the old man when he hesitated in the doorway.
Gavin did so and took the chair he indicated with a gesture.
“I wanted to consult you about a matter that has come up.”
“Of course,” replied Gavin, feeling flattered. Tompkins was a legendary figure in diplomatic circles. The idea that such a man wanted his advice was very gratifying.
“It is about Laura Devane.”
Gavin’s body went still, while his pulse accelerated. Had the old man’s uncanny powers of discernment picked up something about their sojourn together? Gavin decided he would blatantly lie, even to Tompkins, to preserve Laura’s reputation.
“You have had ample opportunity to observe her,” the old man continued.
Gavin simply stared at him, not sure what this was supposed to mean.
“I am interested in your judgment of her abilities.”
“What do you mean?” He sounded hostile, Gavin realized. He must get control of his voice.
“She has suggested a somewhat unusual arrangement. She wants to work for me.”
This was so unexpected that Gavin had no immediate answer.
“Her idea is to take a post in a…sensitive household and keep her ears open, gathering information. She seems to think that people talk very freely in front of governesses and such.”
Gavin remembered all her talk of invisible women. Did she truly imagine that she could go unnoticed into danger? He was overtaken by a surge of rage. “That is ridiculous.”
Tompkins raised one white brow.
“Out of the question. You cannot be seriously considering it.”
“The plan has a certain appeal. That is why I wondered if you—”
“It’s madness. Putting herself in the power of our enemies? Becoming a dependent who is prying into the private affairs of such men? I forbid it!”
There was a silence.
Gavin realized that he had said far too much. Not that he hadn’t meant every word, but clearly George Tompkins was wondering at his vehemence. What was it about Laura that continually destroyed his finely trained powers of control? He cleared his throat. “Miss Devane and I, er, became friends during our…ordeal. I would not like to see her put in jeopardy again.”
“She seems to have handled it rather well.” The old man’s tone was very dry.
Gavin realized he had truly aroused his suspicions. He had to allay them before he could squelch this ridiculous plan. “She was quite amazing,” he said and immediately wished he had put it another way. “She, er, showed no sign of hysterics or other female weaknesses.”
“And she seems to have exhibited a good deal of initiative.”
“Yes. She…she is full of ideas.” Far too many ideas, he thought bitterly, and none more outrageous than this one.
“A young woman who can think on her feet, respond to circumstances.”
“I was with her,” replied Gavin stiffly. “I recommend that you refuse her request. It is a very bad idea.”
Another silence ensued.
Tompkins was looking at him as if he were a fascinating puzzle, Gavin saw. He felt the intelligence of his scrutiny very keenly, with the clear sense that he had revealed things he was unaware of and told far more than he knew.
“You care very much about Miss Devane’s safety,” Tompkins said.
Determined to expose no more, Gavin said, “As I would about any woman’s.”
“Ah.”
Did he think to trick him into some admission by saying, “ah,” as if he had already made a slip?
“Commendable. Yet she seems rather above the common run of women.”
He remained stubbornly silent.
“Would it not be a waste to send her back to England to preside over a schoolroom? She appears capable of much more.”
Gavin was not to be caught out again. He had clamped down every ounce of his formidable self-control on his emotions. “Women do not belong in such positions.”
“It is unusual.”
“It is impossible. She would make a mistake and…” He couldn’t think about the consequences.
“But if no one associated her with us… And why should they? As you say, women do not hold such positions. Then her mistake might appear unimportant. It is an interesting proposition.”
“You asked for my opinion. It is negative.”
The old man nodded.
“Is there anything else?”
“No. That was all.”
“Very well.” Gavin rose. “It is an extremely bad idea,” he repeated.
Tompkins nodded again. Gavin did not see his lips curve in an ironic smile as he strode out of the room.
* * *
The outrage that Gavin had been suppressing came roaring back to life as soon as he was alone. He couldn’t believe she had suggested such a thing. Fuming, he went in search of Laura.
She wasn’t in any of the common rooms. She wasn’t in the library. He headed up the stairs. He knew which was her bedchamber. He had made it his business to know.
She opened the door to his knock, and looked surprised to find him there. “What in God’s name were you thinking of?” he asked.
She blinked at him.
“Do you know what some of these people are like? They’re ruthless. They live to scheme and manipulate. They don’t hesitate to kill. And you would put yourself in their hands?”
“What are you talking about?”
&
nbsp; Gavin pushed past her and strode into her room. “I’ve forbidden it. Do you understand me?”
“Forbidden what?”
“Your idiotic idea of going into the houses of conspirators and gathering information.” He made a chopping gesture. “Do you know what they would do to you?”
“Mr. Tompkins told you?”
“He asked my opinion,” Gavin replied with savage enjoyment. “I told him it was out of the question.”
Laura looked at him as if betrayed. “He is letting you decide?”
He didn’t like her expression. And despite his anger, he couldn’t lie to her. He didn’t know what Tompkins was going to do. “You told me you were going back to England,” he accused instead.
“I thought I was. It seemed the only option. Then, after all that happened, I formed this plan.”
“Ridiculous,” he snapped.
“I don’t see why. No one would suspect me of anything. I would simply be the—”
“Don’t start that nonsense about ‘invisible women’ again.”
Laura flinched as if he had slapped her.
“You are not invisible, and you would get into serious trouble if you attempted to…to infiltrate a dangerous household.”
She looked away from him.
Gavin took a step closer. Other emotions were tangled up with his rage, and the result was an incendiary mixture that made it difficult to think. “You told me you were going back to England to find a new post,” he said again.
She continued to gaze at the carpet. Gavin had to fight the impulse to seize her and force her to meet his eyes. “Well?” he added.
“I didn’t see what else I could do,” she said, so quietly he had to bend closer to hear.
“You mean you didn’t want to go?”
Finally, she raised her eyes. But she looked at him as if he were an idiot, as if there was something very simple that he should be understanding.
“I told you something about the life I led.”
Gavin tried to recall all the things she had said. There had been the speech about invisible women, and something about hiding, and other things he couldn’t bring to mind just now. They hadn’t made a great deal of sense at the time, and they hadn’t stuck in his memory.
“You couldn’t have imagined I wished to return to it,” she said coldly.
“You said you did!”
“I said that I was returning—not that I wished to.”
He felt a strong desire to throttle something.
“I saw no other choice. Under the circumstances.”
“You could marry me!” he exploded.
Laura stared at him. Gavin didn’t blame her. He’d had no idea he was going to utter those words. But the way she said “circumstances” had shaken him. His mind had filled with images of her in his arms, gallantly facing their captors on the ship. Something irresistible had spoken for him.
Her lips soundlessly formed the question “Marry?”
In the ensuing silence, Gavin became aware of the fact that they were alone in her bedroom, standing only a few feet apart. Her hair curled beside her ears. The amber satin of her gown clung to the lines of her body. Words deserted him completely.
Laura moved slightly. The satin of her dress whispered. Desire gripped Gavin like a river at full flood.
She was looking at him. She was waiting for him to say something.
“That would be the…the normal course of action,” he managed.
“Normal?”
“Under the…circumstances.” That was a nice touch, he thought—throwing her word back at her.
“Because we…?”
“Precisely.” This was better, he thought. He was getting the upper hand again. And he was right, of course. This was the way things ought to have happened. He didn’t wish to be married, of course. It was a damned inconvenient complication. But Laura was definitely alluring. Perhaps something…
“And what do you mean by ‘marry’?”
Gavin heard a noise—like “Ehh?”—and realized he had made it.
“What do you mean?” she insisted.
“What anyone means.”
“And what is that?”
He fumbled slightly. “Standing up in church?” He wondered how he had lost the initiative so quickly. “Taking vows? Friends and relatives? Music, flowers?”
“And then?”
“Er…” Extremely vivid pictures of the wedding night rose before him. But surely that wasn’t what she meant?
“What about your work? Do you mean to abandon it?”
“Abandon?”
“Or would you be leaving for some distant country right after the wedding?”
“Not right after,” he protested.
“So I would sit in England while you traveled the world?”
She looked belligerent. And completely unreasonable, Gavin thought. “Many wives do so,” he pointed out. “There is the navy, the East India—”
“And quietly keep house until you chose to return?” she interrupted, ignoring him. “How often? Once a year?”
“More than that.”
“Indeed? How generous.”
Only Laura could make an offer of marriage into an insult, he thought.
“And while I sit alone, waiting…”
“You needn’t be alone.” He began to improvise. “My sisters are in London for the season each year. I’m sure they would be happy to introduce you to their friends.” He didn’t know whether they would or not, he thought. Actually, he didn’t know them very well. But it didn’t matter. He had ways of ensuring their cooperation.
“Your sisters?”
“Baroness Monfort and Lady Sloane.”
Laura gave him an odd look. “Baron Monfort is a constant companion of the earl’s.”
“What earl?”
“Leith.”
“Oh.” Gavin had known that he didn’t like his eldest sister’s husband. Until now, he hadn’t known why. “Well, I don’t see that that would—”
“No doubt, your sisters would be delighted to take the Leiths’ former governess into society. So amusing.”
“They will do as I say.”
Laura grimaced. “Wonderful.”
“As my wife, you will be accorded—”
“How would you know what I am accorded? You would be a thousand miles away.”
He had no answer for this. Indeed, he had more than a suspicion that his sisters would do just as they pleased.
“I suppose I could make my own friends,” she went on. “I would be very lonely.”
Gavin suddenly saw the matter in a new light—a woman as lovely as Laura left alone amidst the sharks of the haut ton, with no outlet for her considerable passions and time on her hands. Her character would not permit her to stray, of course, but…
“I would have money for clothes, and that sort of thing?” she asked.
“I have a moderate income,” he answered stiffly.
“Oh, good. And you won’t be needing much of it, wandering about with hill bandits and so forth. I might set myself up very comfortably in London. I understand it is quite fashionable to have a whole string of admirers. What do they call them? It’s an Italian word.”
“If you think that I would tolerate—”
“Cicisbeo, I think it was.”
“I know that you would not stoop to—”
“Many women would find such a prospect quite appealing.”
Gavin found it appalling. It was all too easy to imagine Laura surrounded by ranks of lascivious opportunists, falling prey to the wiles of society rakes. He had known marriage was not for him, Gavin thought. He had simply not foreseen all the reasons why.
“Unfortunately, I have no interest in society,” she said. “I want to accomplish something wi
th my life. I prefer my own plan.”
“You are refusing me?” Instead of feeling relief, Gavin was surprised by a flash of pain.
She looked at him. Her gaze was steady.
He tried to read it. Was there yearning in those depths? Regret? Desire? He couldn’t tell.
“Yes,” she said crisply.
“Tompkins won’t go along. I’ll see to it.”
“You will keep me from having what you have?” she exclaimed. “Out of spite?”
“What I have?” She always managed to disorient him, Gavin thought. She would have made a wretched wife.
“Important work to do. Respect. Adventure.”
“You are not—”
“I am not to have those things because you are worried about my safety. You would prefer to store me in England like unused furniture, taking off the dustcovers a few times a year when you deign to visit. How would you like such a life?”
“Surely it’s better than being a governess?” he snapped.
Laura blinked. She shook her head a little as if to clear it. The anger that had flashed in her eyes seemed to fade. “I suppose the pay is better,” she murmured sadly.
He felt as if she had escaped him somehow. His sense of grievance increased. “There is something wrong with you.”
She cocked her head at him.
“This is not the way most women would respond to an offer of marriage.”
“No flutters of gratitude? No shy maidenly glances? No little sighs of relief at a spinster’s dream come true?”
He tried to relieve his feelings with a gesture.
“I am quite perverse,” she responded sympathetically. “I trace it back to the time I was five and finally realized that my parents would always prefer a promising young colt to their only daughter.”
She was laughing at him! Gavin closed the distance between them in one stride. He swept her up and held her hard against him. His kiss was a demand and a challenge. He would make her be serious.
He succeeded. When he let her go, Laura was wide-eyed and trembling. He could have her here and now, he thought. He could show her what she was throwing away.
“It isn’t enough,” she whispered.
He frowned at her.
“I’d rather have nothing.”
She would rather have nothing than have him? The rejection crashed through him. This was the second time she had refused his offer of marriage, he remembered suddenly. The first, ten years ago, hadn’t mattered; in fact, he’d been profoundly relieved. This time…this time felt as bitter as a failed mission, the worst disappointment he could imagine in his life.