by Tia Lewis
When I finished, I sucked in a deep breath and groaned, covering my face with my hands. “I’m an idiot.”
Neither girl responded so, tentatively, I lowered my hands to see their reaction.
Alana was smiling. “You really kind of are.”
“You have to go,” Madeline insisted. “Like, right now.”
I bit my bottom lip, looking at Alana. She nodded. “He—he loves you, I think. You can’t let that pass. You can’t take his choice out of his hands just because you’re scared.”
I flushed, my stomach chilling as shame rushed through me. That was exactly what I had done. I should have trusted Grayson enough to know that no matter what decision he made, he was making it for himself. I should go to him. But still, I hesitated, the insecurities and worries pressed to the forefront of my mind, making me wilt a bit.
Alana shook her head, face hardening. “I know this is hard for you, Jade. Between your mom and then when Dad—” she stopped, her voice cracking as she said his name. “It’s hard to give a piece of yourself away when they might not give you anything to fill the space.”
My eyes locked with hers, looking for something. I felt as though I was searching as well.
“I can’t lose anyone else,” I admitted. Alana nodded slowly.
“I know, Jade.” She gave me a watery smile. “Go get him, so you don’t, okay?”
She hugged me again, this time much more quickly. She planted a kiss on my cheek and then pushed me firmly toward the door. Madeline whooped.
“Go get him!” she called, and I laughed, nerves tingling in my limbs as I raced out of the diner, hailing a cab.
Rain was starting to drizzle, and I promised the driver a good tip if he got me there fast. The drive barely took five minutes, but it passed by too slowly for me, my restless leg jittering up and down as I watched the dreary colored buildings pass on by.
When the driver pulled up in front of the Ritz, I took a deep breath. I paid the driver and then stood in the rain, trying to convince my screaming organs that this was an okay decision.
Eventually, I was starting to get too wet if I wanted to be let into the building, so I pretended to squash my panic and marched, determinedly, into the hotel.
There were dozens of press members filling the lobby, big cameras and reporters everywhere. I didn’t know what I expected, but a press conference wasn’t it.
Still, though—I came here for a reason, I thought resolutely. And I wasn’t one to get distracted.
I ran my hand through my hair, shaking out some of the water, and looked around until I saw Grayson.
I nearly passed out at the sight of him.
The time out west had done wonders for him. As terrible as each day had been to me, it seemed to have been twice as good to Grayson. His skin was darker now, tanned and glowing, making his bright blue eyes seem less ethereal but just as heart stopping. His hair, too, was trimmed short and his smile was as wide as it had ever been as he threw his head back, exposing the long column of his neck so that he could laugh at a joke one of the reporters had told him.
When he recovered from his laugh, his eyes scanned the room. He froze when his gaze landed on me.
Oh God, oh God, oh God.
We stared at each other across the room for what felt like an eternity. Suddenly, Grayson shook his head, seeming to wake himself out of his stupor. He spoke quickly to the man he was standing next to, his eyes never leaving mine.
Then he turned on his heel and exited the lobby, going down a hallway. I followed.
He grabbed my wrist as I turned the corner, throwing me against the wall and pouncing on me, stopping himself just as he was a hair’s breadth away from my lips.
My every hair stood on end, my nerve endings exposed and raw, waiting for him to do something.
He raked his eyes down my body, catching on various angles before dragging again. I could practically feel him studying me, and I shivered from the not-quite touch.
“Tell me now,” he said, eyes boring into mine. His pupils were dilated, the dark cerulean color being consumed by the black. “Are you here for me?”
I sucked in a breath. “Yes.”
That, it seemed, was the only thing he was waiting for. He pushed against me, crashing his mouth into mine.
Nearly as soon as he’d captured my lips with a bruising intensity, Grayson bit down on my bottom lip hard, swiping his tongue over it to soothe it before pulling away.
“I have to go. Don’t you dare leave.”
Grayson turned again and left the hallway, leaving me against the wall, gasping. I raised a finger and touched my lip; it was sensitive from the nip.
Well. That went—smoothly.
My head swam. I was barely able to have a single coherent thought, let alone come to any sort of conclusion. I decided I would just do as he said and wait for him. Sinking to the floor, I scooted so I was just on the edge of the corner, still able to hear some of what was going on.
The first few interviews seemed to be going on too far away from where I was, but eventually, I could hear Grayson’s voice waft into the hallway. The sound made my stomach clench with happiness and anticipation.
“So,” a woman began, loudly. “Who was that beautiful woman we saw follow you to the bathroom earlier?”
There was a pause and then Grayson’s laughter. “No one special.”
“Oh?” The woman’s voice was sharp. “Because I have sources that say you’ve been seen with her quite a few times, on your other trips.”
I felt the color drain from my face. They were talking about me. I sat a little straighter, barely suppressing the urge to peek my head around the corner.
Grayson laughed again. “Come on, Sharon. Like I would keep anything from you. She’s just a woman who lives here. You’ve got to do something when you’re on a press tour, right?”
Sharon joined in with his laughter.
My chest tried to collapse.
I stood quickly, on shaky legs. God, how could I be so stupid? To think that I was something serious to Grayson Sparling, of all people? Sure, we’d had a nice time—but Grayson was on vacation, and no matter how much I thought it looked like he might stay behind, he didn’t; in fact, he left without even saying goodbye or trying to contact me in the three months since. What was I thinking, coming here, all desperate and pathetic? Grayson was just trying to shove me out of the way without being a complete ass about it. That’s all the kiss was. That’s all we were.
I looked around, sniffing in agony. I didn’t want to go through that room again, see all of them, see Sharon and Grayson laugh at me as I pushed my way through a crowd with a bleeding heart and a crushed ego.
I spotted an exit sign and pushed it open, slipping out quickly. The rain was heavy now, pouring down onto me. I didn’t mind. The sky was grieving with me.
The door had let out into a little alley, and I looked left, deciding that was probably the quickest route to the main road. I tried not to think about Grayson’s mouth on mine or his laughter mixing with the pain in my chest as I headed down the alley.
With my head down, I didn’t get very far before an angry screeching sound distracted me. I had barely looked up before the silver car was speeding down the alley, smashing into me, and everything faded to black.
Grayson
She was here! She came to me. I couldn’t stay away any longer. I knew she was it for me. I just had to finish with this press bullshit, and then I could claim my woman. I wasn’t going to let her go again. She needed to understand that she was mine.
Jade
I dreamt about my first night at Kyle’s house after I had moved in.
I was seventeen, and my mom was gone. I hadn’t ever been there, not really, but now she was really gone, and I smashed my fist through the wall. I knew in my memory that Kyle hadn’t said anything, just patched up my hand and told me we’d go to the hardware store in the morning. But in the dream, things were foggier, and when I punched through the drywall, my fist was
covered in blood I knew wasn’t my own.
Dream Kyle cried, shoulders shaking as he sobbed, the sounds like nails down the chalkboard as goosebumps rose on my skin. I pounded against my skull, desperate to apologize and wrap my arms around my uncle, but Dream Jade didn’t. I just turned my back and walked out the front door, leaving my crying uncle alone in the too dim house.
I also dreamt about Grayson. That dream went better. It was the first time I had gone to Grayson’s hotel room all over again, but this time there was no burned dinner or managers calling to distract us. It was just Grayson and me and lips that couldn’t stop whispering praises and admissions of love, hands that wandered and reached farther than had ever actually happened.
My third dream wasn’t so much a dream as it was a feeling. I was shrouded in darkness, limbs held down by a deep heaviness I couldn’t name, while sorrow was pumped into the room, heady in its tangibility. I pulled against my restraints while tears streamed down my cheeks but it was useless. I was trapped and in agony, and that was all there was.
Once, I thought I saw Alana’s face hovering over me, her lips parted in a scream. But then I blinked and it was gone.
The third dream lasted much longer than the others; I cried myself hoarse and spent the rest of it calling out for help. Sometimes, Grayson’s name fell from my lips, but even in my dream state, I was glad he wasn’t there to feel this pain.
I dreamt these three scenes over and over again, the faintest image of a car sticking to the peripheral of my thoughts as I slept.
When I finally woke, it was to silence the incessant beeping. I swatted my hand around, looking for my phone, before trying to roll over to reach the nightstand.
The movement caused a sharp pain to radiate from my side, so strong my eyes rolled to the back of my head, and I almost passed out. It was horrible, this ache, and I felt like I’d been hit by a semi.
“Not quite,” someone spoke aloud, laughing. I jumped, wincing when my ribs protested. I blinked a few times, eyes adjusting to the harsh overhead light. Two women, one wearing a long white lab coat and the other in nurse’s scrubs, stood over me. The nurse stepped up to me to check my pulse. “Just a regular old Volvo.”
“A Volvo?” my voice was scratchy from disuse, and the woman straightened, handing me a cup with a straw in it. I drank the water greedily and realized I must have spoken out loud earlier.
“Yes, ma’am.” the nurse smiled, scribbling something on the chart before turning to give me her attention. “You were admitted early yesterday, Ms. Hunter. Seems you had a bit of a run-in with a car.”
I nodded. I didn’t really remember anything hitting me, but I definitely felt like I’d had a run-in with a car. “You should see the other guy.”
The doctor laughed. “Oh, a sense of humor. No wonder you have such a fan club.”
I cocked my head. The movement made me a little dizzy, and I glanced down, trying to take in the injuries I’d apparently received. My ribs were wrapped, along with one wrist, and my leg was in a cast.
“Jesus,” I muttered. The doctor shot me a wry grin.
“Extensive injuries, ma’am.”
“Jade,” I corrected.
The doctor nodded. “Jade,” she appeased. “You’ve broken two ribs, along with your wrist. Your leg and foot are sprained, hence the cast.” She raised an eyebrow. “You should know you’re a very lucky lady. These injuries are nowhere near as bad as they could be.”
I hated to think about what they could be if I were already broken in so many places. “Thanks.”
She nodded, writing another scribble onto the clipboard before placing it at the foot of my bed. “Now, you have quite an army of visitors. Would you like me to let your sister in?”
My head jerked up, and I nodded eagerly, even as the motion made my head swim. Alana. She must have meant Alana.
“Alright, Jade. I’ll go get them for you.”
“Thank you!” I called after the doctor, making a mental note to ask her what my name was when she came back. I couldn’t remember if she’d told me or not.
It didn’t take long—I had only taken one more sip of water—before Alana threw the door open and raced into the room. She moved in a blur, hesitating only when she skidded to the edge of the bed, arms poised to pounce but stopping as if she’d only just remembered how injured I was.
“Hi, Alana.”
“You idiot!” she seethed, reaching over and smacking my good arm. My body vibrated a bit from the touch, but I swallowed the wince down, having anticipated it. “How dare you get hit by a car?”
I reminded myself that she’d only get angrier if I laughed. “It was hardly my fault.”
“Hardly your fault,” she repeated under her breath, snorting. “Sure! Running into an alley road without checking both ways in the middle of a rainstorm really sounds like a freak accident.”
I flushed. Okay, well, maybe that was what had happened. The crash was still too fuzzy for me to say exactly.
Alana dropped to the chair by the bed, cradling her head in her hands. “I was so scared.”
My face fell, guilt clouding me. “I’m sorry, Alana.”
She nodded, sniffling. “It’s okay. I just—this week, I swear. I’m going to lock Todd and the boys up next year.”
I groaned. God, the anniversary was only a few days away. I had really put Alana through the wringer.
“I get two hugs from you once you’re healed, as long as I want. No complaining,” she warned me sternly. I lifted my good hand to give her a scout’s honor.
We were silent for a minute, and it scratched at me. I struggled to think of a conversation that wouldn’t send my cousin into a heap of tears.
“So, I hear I missed a day. Anything good happen?”
She told me about getting the phone call and closing up the diner, her and Madeline rushing to the hospital. Madeline had been there that morning, too, only leaving to check on the boys when Alana refused to leave. She was supposedly on her way back now.
The biggest surprise, though, wasn’t Madeline demanding to get into the room without being family; it was Grayson.
“You called him?” I gasped, horrified. Alana frowned.
“Of course, I did! You asked me to!”
I froze, then frowned. “No, I didn’t.”
Alana shook her head, her expression firm. “You definitely did. I mean, you were a little out of it on the meds, but you explicitly asked me to call him. Plus, you said his name like a thousand times as you slept.”
My face burned. “No,” I denied. Alana laughed.
This was awful. Alana continued her story, telling me that Grayson had rushed to the hospital with a half dozen reporters chasing after him, calling out all sorts of questions as he basically threatened to sue the hospital to see me.
“What happened?” I couldn’t believe that he would do such a thing. Even before I realized I was just a fling to him, he had always been mild-tempered, if not absurdly accommodating.
Alana smiled. “I took pity on him, and we worked it out so he could wait outside the room.”
My eyes flickered with dismay toward the door. Alana’s smile widened. “Want me to get him?”
“No!” I all but yelled, my heart lurching at the idea. Unfortunately, Alana heard, her eyebrows raising as the machine beeped at my accelerated pulse. “I—we—it’s complicated.”
Alana jerked her head forward as if to say “so.” I elaborated, telling her quietly what had occurred at the Ritz the day before. Alana sucked in a deep breath when I told her what Grayson had said, so similar to my own reaction, and we sat quietly for a minute, reeling at this revelation.
“Hmm,” Alana said after a minute, eyes narrowed. “Jade, listen, I—”
“I don’t give a goddamn shit!”
The yelling came from the hallway but so close to the door that Alana and I froze, eyebrows raised in identically comical expressions of surprise as we listened to Grayson curse out whoever was in his way.
&
nbsp; “You’re going to get the hell out of my way right now before I make you.” His voice was dangerous, a growl that promised something to whomever he was talking to. I had always admired the genuineness and honesty that Grayson personified; I was absolutely positive that he would make good on this promise if he didn’t get what he wanted. I looked at Alana to see her eyes wide and lips pressed together, both of us waiting with bated breath.
A body thumped against the door hard, and then the door swung opened, a slightly wild-eyed Grayson pushed his way through.
“You’re awake,” he breathed, freezing at the door. I nodded mutely. His eyes were bloodshot, the blue dull compared to the deep circles underneath his eyes. His face was scruffier than I’d ever seen it before, his clothes and hair disheveled. He locked eyes with me, his mouth parting and a soft, shaking breath exhaled through his lips. “You’re okay.”
Where before he seemed frozen, he now raced to my side as if he had to make up for that lost time. He didn’t pay Alana any mind, merely pressing close against her to get to me. One hand smoothed the hair on my head while his other hand traced my jaw and neck, trailing down my collarbone until his hand rested, palm down, over my chest. His eyes fluttered closed as he felt my pulse beneath his own.
I looked at Alana from over Grayson’s arm. She just shrugged.
“I’ll leave you two alone for a minute,” she said, standing. He didn’t even glance at her, though his eyes did pop open and made quick work of assessing all of my injuries. “Just a minute. I’ll go call Madeline.”
I nodded to her but didn’t reply, too enthralled and yet confused by the devotion pouring out of his expression.
I swallowed. “Sit down, Grayson.”
He fell into the chair immediately, though he stretched so that he could keep his hands on my face and chest. It was a weird pose, awkward, but I couldn’t make myself mind.
“I’m so glad you’re okay, I’m so goddamn glad.”