by J. Minter
Subject: nice seeing you tonite
i hope you don’t mind me e-mailing you, but i found your address on the bio homework site, so i thought i’d say hi. also, this picture cracked me up & i thought you might get a kick out of it. maybe this little guy was one of Bogie’s pals back at the swamp!
adam
For a second, I started to feel terrible again—this problem with Adam just wasn’t going to go away. Then I opened the picture and immediately started laughing. It was a purple salamander with a snail balanced on its head like a little hat. What made it so adorable was the expression on the salamander’s face—it almost looked like it was smiling. I hit reply and typed something about how cute it was, but as I went to hit send, I realized what I was doing and canceled the message.
A couple days ago Adam had been barely a blip on my radar screen—if anything he was just one more lumbering jock to swerve past in the hallway on the way to class. But now he’d become this bizarre character who’d leapt unwanted out of Meredith and Judith’s overblown romantic daydreams and into my own thoughts. He was like one of those annoying, poppy songs that make you groan when they come on the radio, but then somehow get stuck in your head. You find yourself humming them at the most random possible moments, like when you’re standing in line at a deli and all of a sudden you realize that it’s your turn in line but you still don’t know what you want because you’ve been humming Shakira’s “Hips Don’t Lie” the entire time. And now he had kissed me.
I took one last look at the salamander, shut down my computer, and flipped off the lights. No more flirting with Adam, I told myself firmly as I curled up under the covers. I rested my head on my squishy down pillow and thought about the awful day I’d just had. My science teacher was going to make me murder Bogie, my friends were fighting over a guy, my sister had lost her mind, and I’d basically betrayed my boyfriend with someone I barely even knew. I knew things had gotten out of control when Sara-Beth Benny was the sanest person in my life. If things kept up like this, I’d have to move into my own bio-pod—no boys, friends, or siblings allowed.
CHAPTER 20
THE GREAT ESCAPE
The next morning when I woke up, I yawned, stretched, and put my slippers on before I remembered I was “grounded.” I figured I could do one of three things: sit in my room all day, have a big confrontation with Feb, or sneak out without her seeing me. There was no way I was going to do option number one, but another big fight didn’t sound so great either. My throat was still sore from yelling at her—and at the game—the night before. So I put on my silver Tretorns and opted for choice number three.
A few years ago, in a rare moment of parental concern, my dad got a bunch of nylon ladders so, in case of emergency, we could climb out the second-story windows. I still had mine way in the back of my closet, under a bunch of old stuffed animals and feather boas I hadn’t played with in years. I pulled it out, hooked the ends to the metal rail around my little balcony, and climbed down into the yard. I was a little nervous, especially because I had to climb past the kitchen windows on the first floor, but no one was looking out and I managed to get down into the yard okay. From there it was just a question of hoisting myself over the little wall between SBB’s backyard and mine, which took about two seconds. As I jumped down from the wall, I felt really pleased with myself—until my sneakers hit a patch of gooey mud.
“Ugh!” I tried to kick the dirty splatters off the cuffs of my jeans. Despite all the interior-decoration chaos, Sara-Beth hadn’t bothered to have her yard landscaped yet. Leaving a set of muddy footprints in my wake, I went up the stairs to her back door and knocked.
I had to wait almost fifteen minutes before Sara-Beth finally stopped sneaking around and peeking out the windows long enough to actually unlock the door.
“Thank God it’s really you,” she whispered, letting me inside. She immediately closed and locked the door behind me. “I was worried they sent a stalker in a Flan disguise!”
“Sorry I scared you,” I said, pulling off my dirty sneakers. “I would’ve gone to your front door, but I’m supposed to be grounded.”
I did a double take as Sara-Beth led me through the kitchen and dining room toward the front of her house. The rugs, the furniture, even those famous silk curtains, had vanished. I checked my watch—hadn’t I been in rococo France just a few hours ago? Noticing my reaction, Sara-Beth explained, “Oh, it was too old-fashioned. Now tell me what happened.”
“There’s not too much to tell.” I sat down on the now-bare floor. “Feb’s just acting like the overprotective mom I’ve never had—or wanted. It’s really annoying.”
“I hate to sound like a broken record, but I’ll say it again: divorce her. Now, my lawyer—”
“I seriously don’t think I can divorce my sister.” I yawned. “Although the idea’s sounding better all the time.”
“Just let me know if you change your mind.” Sara-Beth disappeared into the hallway for a minute and came back holding her cell phone. “Are you hungry? They took the refrigerator along with the rest of the furniture, but we can order in.”
“They took the refrigerator? Why?”
“Well, actually it was a vintage icebox from Portugal and it barely worked anyway. I couldn’t even find the power cord! Such a waste of money—oh, don’t even get me started on Yvette.” Sara-Beth dialed. “Hello? Is this Tavern on the Green? This is Sara-Beth Benny. I was just wondering if you deliver. What?! Do you even know who I am?”
Half an hour later, we were eating brioche French toast and drinking fresh-squeezed orange juice out of paper containers on SBB’s floor.
“Decorating this place has been such a nightmare,” she moaned, cutting her French toast into miniscule squares. “I just want to give up. These incompetent designers take advantage of me at every turn.”
“I think you just have to figure out what you really want, you know?” I said around a mouthful of maple syrup and blueberries. It was a little soggy. “It seems like everybody else has been forcing their taste on you. But it’s your house.”
“Wow! That’s exactly right, Flan. It’s like when I was growing up. They told me how to dress, what to say, where to stand—it was like I was some kind of puppet.”
“Well, you were acting in a TV show,” I pointed out. “There was a script. And a director.”
“That’s no excuse!” Sara-Beth frowned as she took a sip of her orange juice. Then she brightened up again. “Flan, I’ve got an idea.”
“What?”
“It’s almost Halloween. I should decorate this place like a haunted house! Just until I can think of how I really want it to look, you know. And then we can throw a costume party and it’ll take your mind off your troubles and—oh, it’s a perfect idea!”
I nodded slowly. I wasn’t sure I deserved a party after the way I’d been acting, but Meredith and Judith did love Halloween. Maybe it would be a nice way to start healing our friendship. We could get all dressed up together beforehand, and then maybe sleep over at my house.
“So, who should we invite?” I asked, really warming to the idea.
“All the best people, of course! We can invite February, and your brother, of course, so they can’t possibly object to you coming. And oh, Haley Joel, I owe him an invitation—we can even call Ashleigh-Ann Martin! It’ll be a fresh new start for all of us!” Sara-Beth laughed merrily, then turned serious. “But everyone has to wear a costume. Absolutely no exceptions.” Her eyes widened. “Once I was the only one in costume at a party in Beverly Hills, and I’ve never gotten over the humiliation.”
“Why? What were you dressed up as?”
“Not important.” Sara-Beth shook the frown off face and clapped in excitement. “Flan, this is going to be the best party of all time. I can hardly wait!”
“Me neither,” I said. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I was still worried. The last party I’d been to had ended in disaster—what if something even worse happened this time? But I so wanted to go f
or it. After all, I love Halloween. …
CHAPTER 21
WHO KNEW THAT PIRATE GIRLS WORE SUCH SHORT SKIRTS?
I still didn’t want to deal with Patch and Feb, so after I left SBB’s house I called Meredith and Judith to invite them out for coffee. I hesitated for a second, feeling guilty, then called Bennett, too.
“Hey, what’s up?” he asked. “I was worried you were mad at me or something.”
“Why would I be mad at you?” Great—I’d been talking to Bennett for all of three seconds and I was already feeling even more terrible about myself than I had before. I started walking toward the Bean Garden. “You’re perfect.”
“But I took off so early last night, and then you didn’t write back to me. You know, about that band.”
“Oh yeah, the Spectacles. I’m sorry.” I stopped to look at my reflection in the window of a MAC store. I wondered how long it would be before he found out what a terrible girlfriend I really was. “I was kind of … distracted last night. I got into a fight with Feb.”
“She’s still a desperate housewife?”
I sighed. “Serial mom’s more like it.” I started walking again. “Hey, do you have any plans for Halloween yet? Because Sara-Beth’s throwing a haunted-house party.”
“Man, I wish I could be there, but I promised I’d take my cousin trick-or-treating.”
“Really? That’s so sweet. But can’t you just come by after?”
“Well, uh, I think my parents want me to babysit.” Bennett’s voice sounded a little funny. I narrowed my eyes. Was he lying to me?
“How old’s your cousin?”
“Ummm … eight?” It sounded like a question.
Hmm. “That’s … nice.” I was in front of the Bean Garden by now. “Listen, I’m going to get some coffee with Judith and Meredith. Come meet us.”
“Nah, that’s okay. I’m right in the middle of alphabetizing my comic book collection by illustrator, and if I leave them all over the living room floor my mom’ll kill me.” I heard pages rustling in the background. “Hey, by the way, how was the party last night? You tell Adam I said congrats?”
Blood rushed into my face, and I coughed to hide the awkward pause. “Yeah—no. I mean, I didn’t really get a chance to talk to him.”
Meredith and Judith showed up about fifteen minutes later, looking like they’d bickered the whole way over on the subway. I had wanted to surprise them with news about the party, but SBB had already sent them Evites.
“This party is going to be the event of the semester,” Judith declared with obvious satisfaction. A terrible thought crossed my mind.
“What do you mean, ‘the event of the semester’?” I asked.
“I mean, just because SBB always throws the best parties,” Judith clarified lamely.
Meredith giggled loudly for a second too long. “Let’s go shopping for costumes! Right now!” She was wearing a bunch of beaded necklaces I’d never seen before. I wondered if they were part of her explosion of creativity from the night before, but I didn’t dare ask.
The three of us walked over to Screaming Mimi’s on Lafayette Street, a little store that sells vintage costumes, and we started hunting through the clothing racks. I was mostly looking at classic things like old flapper dresses with seed-bead stitching, puffy crinolines, and a suede cowgirl suit from the ’40s, but Meredith and Judith went straight for all the more … alluring things in the store: a skintight catsuit, a super-short white mod dress with matching thigh-high go-go boots, a ’50s-style yellow bikini top with Daisy Dukes. But when none of these fit quite right, they insisted we shop somewhere more “modern.” So I put the feathered, antique Mardi Gras mask I was holding back on the shelf, and we piled into a cab to go a little farther uptown to Ricky’s NYC, a big costume superstore.
This place had plenty of variations on the sexy bunny/policewoman/nurse–type getups, and Meredith and Judith ran around like crazy, dodging little kids waving plastic swords, exhausted-looking parents with baby bags on their shoulders, and display rack after display rack of brightly colored costumes in square plastic bags. While Meredith was in the dressing room trying on a very revealing ladybug ensemble, Judith snuck up behind me and tapped my shoulder.
“Flan,” she whispered, “I’m so excited about this party. You know why?”
Actually, I didn’t really want to know, but it seemed like I didn’t have much choice. “Why?”
“Because I’m going to invite Adam! When I was Googling him last night, I found his e-mail address, and I’m going to send the invitation to him as soon as I get home.” She flipped her hair. “I just have to find an amazing costume first. There’s no point inviting him if I’m not the hottest one there!”
My heart sank. “Judith, please, please don’t do this,” I begged. “You promised you’d leave him alone. Remember your promise?”
Judith picked up a low-cut stewardess costume and held it at arm’s length, considering it. “Listen, if I don’t do it, Meredith will. You saw the way she was giggling earlier.”
“How can you say that about your best friend? I mean, don’t you trust her at all?”
Just then Meredith skipped out of the dressing room, wearing a red-and-black leotard, fishnets, and red patent leather pumps with three-inch heels. A headband with glittery red-and-black antennae bobbled on her head. She struck a pose. “So … how do I look?”
Judith glanced over at me significantly, like she was trying to say, See, I told you so! I sighed, realizing she was probably right, but I didn’t want to be in the middle or take sides, so I just stared back at her like I had no idea what she meant.
Judith found a costume that rivaled Meredith’s on the scandalous-scale: a pirate getup with a striped bandana and cutlass. Her patent-leather high-heeled boots almost reached her knees, but her frayed black skirt ended way, way above them. It took me a lot longer to find my costume, but when I did I was glad I’d taken my time. It was a powder blue princess dress, a little bit like Cinderella’s, with puffy sleeves and this really delicate silver stitching on the skirt. Even though it was a little expensive, I knew the minute I saw it that I had to have it. I decided to wear it with my pair of clear Lucite heels I’d bought for a dance way back in seventh grade, just to complete the Cinderella look. I was really excited. This is why I love Halloween: it’s like my last chance to play dress-up the way I did when I was younger. I could tell Meredith and Judith thought my costume was kind of lame, but they didn’t say anything. I got the feeling they were a little relieved I wasn’t going to outshine them by wearing something even more revealing than they were. Although I wasn’t really sure that was possible. After we paid, their shopping bags were so tiny, it looked like they’d gone shopping for handkerchiefs—which in a way, I guess they had.
We stepped outside, but all of a sudden Judith realized she’d left her hair clip back in the dressing room and went racing inside to get it. The minute she was out of sight, Meredith leaned in toward me and, glancing back and forth to make sure no one was watching, whispered, “Flan, I hope you won’t be mad at me, but I wanted to ask you something.”
I sighed. “Shoot.”
“Would you hate me if I invited Adam to the party? I was going to do it before—but then I thought maybe I should talk to you first. Please, please say you won’t hate me.” She looked at me with her large, pale eyes, and I found myself shaking my head. After what had happened between Adam and me, how could I possibly judge her for wanting to see him again? I was the biggest violator of the No Adam Rule—and they didn’t even know it.
“Of course not,” I told her. “I could never hate you for something like that. But are you sure it’s the best idea? It’s really Judith you should be asking, not me.”
“She’d never understand, but it’s just something I have to do.” Meredith’s eyes got sort of starry and faraway. “It just feels right.”
To me, though, everything just felt wrong. Judith came out and the three of us continued down the street. As I carr
ied my new dress along in its bag, I couldn’t help but wish that something—anything—would keep Adam away from this party, because there was no way Meredith and Judith were going to be able to control themselves around him. Not that I blamed them—self-control around Adam wasn’t exactly something I had lots of either.
CHAPTER 22
GUESS WHO’S COMING TO THE PARTY?
I still held on to the hope that Judith and Meredith would be too shy to go through with inviting Adam to the party. One time, when she was first crushing on Jules, Meredith had actually jumped into a janitor’s closet when she saw him coming toward her down the hall, because she was convinced that she had something stuck between her teeth. Judith liked to exude confidence, but if she sat next to Eric (or anybody else from her “Stuy Guy” top ten list) at a school assembly, she spent the entire time either staring straight ahead or furiously scribbling in her notebook.
But when I got to biology on Monday the first thing Adam said with that friendly smile of his was, “Meredith and Judith forwarded me the invite to your friend’s Halloween party. I’ll definitely be there.”
Damn, damn, damn. “Oh … that’s, uh, great.” I blinked once and tried to hide my rapidly cycling emotions of fear (how was this going to turn out?), guilt (why had I wanted him to kiss me?), and—all right, I’ll admit it—excitement (I really needed to have my head examined). I really hoped Adam didn’t think I’d put Meredith and Judith up to e-mailing him, but I didn’t exactly know how to clarify the situation without making an already terrible situation even worse. I hung my schoolbag off the back of my chair and willed the blood to stop rushing to my face. Just seeing him again, after everything that had happened, was making me very confused.