He could be as alpha and as dominant and as commanding as he wanted. She knew who he really was. “I never know what to do when you say things like that.”
“Good thing I do.” He kissed her again. “Bed,” he said against her mouth, and maneuvered them down the hall until they reached the bedroom.
They stumbled onto the sheets. Jack took her hands and pulled them above her head. “I missed you so fucking much.” He kissed his way down her body until he reached her clit. “This is definitely what I want.”
Well, she sure as hell wasn’t going to stop him. He started teasing her with his tongue, darting it in and out of her. It was making her crazy.
“You’re so wet,” he murmured.
An immediate reaction called for an immediate response. “All for you, Jack,” she said softly.
“I love when you say that,” he said, stopping momentarily to grin against her thigh.
Caroline thought about calling him out on his arrogance but she wanted him to get back to what he’d been doing. “Don’t act like you don’t enjoy it too.”
Jack teased her in all her favorite places, using his hands, his lips, his tongue. She didn’t think she’d be able to come so quickly after what happened in the bathtub but before she knew it she sank into that glorious darkness again, screaming his name, curling her hands up in his hair as she thrust into his face.
After she was finished he brought his head up. “I knew you had that in you. You taste wonderful.” He caressed her still trembling legs. “I’m going to want to do this a lot,” he said. “Just so you know.”
Caroline laughed. She could only imagine. “You’re going to have to wait a while.”
“I’m going to wear you out regardless.”
She pulled him on top of her again. “I hope so.”
His sadness was gone. She couldn’t very well complain about that. But the affection that remained was enough to crack her open again. She fought back tears, patting Jack’s cheek with a shaky hand.
He smiled down at her. “It’s okay, sweetheart.”
She closed her eyes. It was too much. Too much like the first time. When she’d been so terrified, so incredibly nervous, and he’d done everything right. Except now it meant more. He meant more. Everything meant so much…more. She used to wonder why their roleplaying and control games seemed easier than simple romance and now she understood. Caroline swallowed a nervous sob. “I’m sorry I was so terrible to you, Jack. I am.”
“Don’t.” He kissed her tears away. “I forgive you. Let go of your guilt. Let go of the anxiety. Let me show you how much I love you.”
He made everything sound so easy when it wasn’t. “I can’t-”
“Let it go.” He gave her a mock stern look. “Remember what I said about how much it upsets me when you cry.”
Caroline could keep her emotions in check. Focus on the positive. All she had to do was close her eyes and he’d slip inside and make her whole again. “I’ll try.”
“Maybe if I kiss you senseless you’ll calm down. Tell me what I want to hear,” he said, sliding his cock back and forth against her still sensitive clit.
She was straddling the line between brutal honesty and mild incoherence. “I missed you,” Caroline said softly. “Please don’t make me wait any more.”
He smiled. “I was hoping for another ‘I love you,’ but that’s not bad either.”
“I love you,” she whispered. “I never stopped.”
“Never mind,” he said. “I might want to hear that again.”
She was more than happy to oblige. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
“Remember the first time you told me that?”
Caroline kissed him. “Like it was yesterday.”
Jack leaned down and bit her neck. Familiarity soon gave way to fumbling, hungry need. With each kiss and caress she found herself digging her fingernails into his shoulders, frustrated he was showing such astonishing restraint.
“Now,” she insisted.
“Hold on.” He kissed her again. “Too good. Slow.”
His self-discipline bordered on the ridiculous. “How are you controlling yourself?”
He chuckled against her lips. “I’m better at this than you are.”
Caroline arched her back, rubbing against his leg. “You – are – not.”
“Want this to last. Haven’t even gone below your shoulders yet.”
Her voice was tinged with urgency. “Please, Jack.”
“You kill me, woman,” he said. “I’m trying to create a memory here.”
If he was going to play games then she could certainly respond in kind. She wrapped her fingers around his cock. He could pretend to want to take it slow but his physical response said otherwise. “This enough of a memory for you?”
“Fuck,” he growled. “You’re not going to let me do this right, are you?”
“You can do it right next time.” She rubbed against him. “Jack, please. We’ve waited so long.”
Jack slid a finger inside her, curling it upward. Her grip slackened and he pulled back, spreading her legs apart and slamming his length inside her. She cried out.
“Okay?” he whispered, stilling his movements. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
She was going to have to reacquaint him with her screams of pleasure. “More,” she said, clenching around him.
He groaned, shoving his control to the wayside. “You are fucking impossible. I promise you, at some point I’m going to do whatever I want and take as long as I want and you won’t be able to do a damn thing about it,” he snarled. “Say it again. Say what I want to hear while I’m inside you.”
“I love you,” she whispered.
He tugged at her hair. “Keep saying it.”
Caroline moaned softly as he rocked back and forth. She had wanted him to move quickly but soon sank into the luxurious tempo he set. She’d forgotten how good it felt to have him make love to her, to move in and out of her tenderly yet forcefully, whispering her name, telling her how much he loved her, how good she felt.
“Is this really happening?” she whispered.
“God, I hope so,” he gasped. “If this is some sort of dream sequence I’m going to be really pissed.”
She called out his name, tugging at his hair, holding his head against her shoulder as he started to move faster, then slower again.
Jack pulled back, looking down at her. “I missed you,” he said hoarsely. “So much it almost killed me.”
The tears in her eyes spilled over. “Don’t stop. I don’t want this to end.”
“I won’t,” he said. “Believe me, I won’t. Keep saying my name.” He kissed her ear. “I love when you say my name.”
He thrust inside her again and again, harder and harder, enjoying the sound of her voice, seeming to want it to last as long as possible. The rhythm came easily, naturally. A blend of sweat and tears and the smell of sex, until Caroline wasn’t sure where she ended and where he began. He finally came with a groan and collapsed against the pillow on top of her.
Jack kissed her cheek. “I love you, Caroline. More than my own life.”
Caroline smiled at him through her tears and wrapped her arms and legs around him, even though they felt like jelly. “Please stay like this. Just for a moment,” she whispered. “Please.”
“No, this is better.” He rolled over until Caroline was on top of him, resting her head on his chest.
“My darling,” she murmured.
Jack kissed her forehead and closed his eyes as she snuggled closer. He chuckled softly. “Now this…is damn near perfect.”
Chapter Nineteen
Caroline rested her head on Jack’s chest, her legs intertwined with his. “I can hear your heart beat,” she whispered.
He laughed. “Tell me if it stops. I thought it might when you were whispering my name. That drives me insane.”
She draped her arm around his torso. “I’ll keep you updated.”
“You damn well bet
ter,” he said. “You’re not the only one of us affected by the sound of the other person’s voice.”
Caroline lifted her head up. “You’re hearing voices? That’s a problem.”
“You know what I mean.” He pulled her toward him again. “I didn’t say I was done cuddling.”
And she wasn’t one to turn it down. “Good in bed and you like to cuddle. Glad to see that hasn’t changed.”
He shushed her. “Let me enjoy this a minute. Stop worrying about filling the beautiful silence with words.”
Jack started caressing her hair. Caroline couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this good. It had been years, maybe more than a few.
“What are you thinking?” he asked softly.
“How amazing it was that we actually got to the bed. I’m impressed, Jack. I figured you’d stop somewhere in the hallway.”
He chuckled. “Be serious.”
“I am.”
“We have plenty of time to cover the rest of this space in this tiny apartment. What are you really thinking about?”
Caroline lazily played with the hair on his chest, occasionally bringing her fingers up to rub the chain around his neck. “How could all this hair turn almost white? You’re getting old.”
“Sweetheart, I find your facetiousness charming but I’m trying to have a tender moment here.” Jack kissed her forehead. “How do you feel?”
Wonderful. I feel wonderful. She leaned in closer. “I’m thinking about how safe I feel. How loved.” Her voice got quieter. “How lucky I am that you didn’t give up on me.”
“I never will.” He brought his arms around her again. “Are you feeling okay? I didn’t know whether you were in the right physical shape for me to do much more than I did.”
It had been sweet and wonderful, but definitely not as intense as it could have been. “Were you holding back?” she asked.
“I don’t want to hurt you. You’re still recovering.”
“Getting better every day. If I get worn out or I need a break, I’ll let you know. Fair enough?”
He kissed her. “I just wanted to make sure.”
Caroline lay on his chest for a while, listening to the steady pulse of his heart while Jack lightly traced over the scars on her back. She was almost asleep when he spoke up again.
“Was it really that good?” he asked.
“It’s always good with you.”
“I’m serious.”
She propped up on one elbow. “We’ve always had a strong sexual connection, Jack. We might have changed but I still feel unbelievably close to you when we’re together.”
“So…that means it was good?”
She couldn’t tell if he was genuinely insecure or fishing for compliments. “Once you broke down and gave me what I wanted, yeah.”
“You noticed that little game, huh?”
Caroline kissed him lightly. He’d turned the tables on her as well. They’d both gotten what they needed out of the experience. “Manipulative bastard.”
Jack weaved his fingers through her hair. “You don’t want to know how hard it was for me to go slowly.”
“I figured it out.”
He kissed her. “We’ll do it even slower soon. I promise.”
“But I don’t like it slow.”
“I do.” He laughed against her lips. “I like making you crazy.”
“I’ve figured that out.”
“How long did it take you?”
Caroline nipped at his jaw. “I put the pieces together several years ago, when I spent a few sultry nights in a rich man’s bedroom after he gave me a ginormous diamond necklace.”
“Funny,” he said. “That was probably the same weekend you told me I was great in the sack.”
She sat up. “Oh, for Christ’s sake. Is that what I said in my sleep that first night?”
Jack scooted up until he was leaning against the headboard. “Pretty much.”
“Like your ego needed to be any bigger.”
“Back then, it did. I wanted that reassurance from you.”
“I’m glad I could oblige.” She ran her hand up and down his bicep. “I missed this. I missed you.”
“Let me get what you’re saying.” He kissed her neck again. “What was it you were saying?”
Caroline playfully pushed him away from her. “I’m saying I missed sex.”
“With me.”
She blew out a hard breath. “Yes, with you. Honestly.” She frowned at Jack, who was grinning. “What’s so funny?”
He laughed. “You are. A couple of orgasms and you’re back to being yourself.”
“Don’t push it, buddy.”
He patted her cheek. “I’m not. But I think you’re cute.”
“In bed, or in general?”
“Both.”
Her lips quirked up, and she reached under the sheet, inching toward his cock. “Maybe I’ll start being nicer to you, then.”
Jack groaned. “Are you saying we need to make up for lost time? Because I can definitely do that.”
Caroline withdrew her hand and leaned over to kiss his chest. “I probably won’t be turning it down again anytime soon.” The guilt flared again. “I love you, Jack. I really am sorry I was so awful to you.”
“You need to stop apologizing for that,” he admonished. “Especially when we’re having sex.”
She blushed. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s nice to know how much you missed me, and how much you still care.”
Caroline kissed his chest again. “You’re turning into a giant mushball.”
Jack wrapped his arms around her. “Probably.” A small shudder ran through him. “I wasn’t sure we’d ever get here,” he said quietly.
She’d had her doubts as well, but now was not the time for uncertainty. “But we did.”
“But we did,” he repeated. “There were times when all I wanted was one more night with you. I used to dream about it. It wasn’t about sex. It was about being with you. Holding you. Making you realize how important you’ve always been to me. Having one more sweet memory to get me through.”
Caroline squeezed him tightly. “Definitely a giant mushball.”
“Don’t tell anyone. Most people around here think I’m an asshole. Present company excluded, I hope.”
“For now.”
Jack continued to stroke her hair. “You’re the only reason people didn’t have that opinion of me. You made me more than the tough, brash authority figure. More than the cool congressman or the aloof candidate or the standoffish governor. It’s been hard striking the right balance.”
“If you ask me nicely, I could give you some friendly advice. Mostly having to do with whether it’s a good idea to put highly competent officer candidates on potato peeling duty.”
Caroline felt the rumblings of his chuckle reverberate through his body. “Maybe later,” he said. “I don’t want to talk about anything other than how much time we get to spend in bed together.”
“I’m not sure I want to talk,” she said, stroking the muscles of his abdomen, working down to his hips.
Jack groaned. “You’re gonna kill me if you keep pulling that. I can’t concentrate while you’re trying to take advantage of me.”
“It’s fun to take advantage of you. You like it.”
“I do,” he rasped. “I just think we should talk a little first.”
Caroline ran her fingers down his thighs. “You were never one for talking.”
He pulled her hands up to his chest. “I know, but I want to savor this before we start another round.”
Jack would never admit that he wasn’t quite ready to start again, especially after a particularly intense sexual experience. Caroline supposed she could wait a bit longer. “How was it for you?” she asked. “You had to wait long enough, I guess.”
“Incredible,” he said without hesitation. “You make me feel nothing short of incredible.”
“Talk like that will get you laid,” she said. “
All the damn time.”
“Let’s focus on that. Us. Now. In bed. Naked. For at least the next few days, if I have anything to say about it. Forget everything else.”
“It won’t be easy.”
“Of course it won’t. You’re going to have bad days. I’m going to have bad days.”
“And to top that off, we’re living a very dangerous life,” Caroline added.
“That too. But I must say I feel much better about things now that I have my wife back. Completely back.”
She didn’t want to wreck the happiness she was feeling, but it would be dishonest to pretend everything was fine now that they’d jumped back into bed. “You’re going to need to be patient with me. I’m processing a lot of things.”
“I know,” Jack said quietly. “But you have me to help you through it. No more shutting me out.”
And no more melancholy, either. At least not for a while. She gave him a mock salute. “Understood, Commander.”
He laughed and got up from the bed. “I have something I’d like to give you.”
Caroline had never been one to turn down gifts, especially now when she had so few material things. She was so caught up in the sight of her husband’s bare ass that she almost forgot why he was getting out of bed in the first place. He had a very good physique for an almost fifty-five year old man.
“Okay,” she said.
Jack went over to the dresser, rummaged around in it, then sat on the bed next to her and handed her a box.
She wrapped the sheet around her and stared at him, perplexed. “Did you have a jewelry store put in the compound?”
He smiled. “No. Open it.”
Caroline cracked the box open and did a double take. It was her anniversary band. A full ring of half carat diamonds in platinum prongs. It wasn’t a typical first year anniversary gift, but Jack wasn’t a typical husband. They’d gone through so much with the ugliness of the gubernatorial campaign and adjusting to their shared lives that he had deemed it necessary to shower her with some bling, though he knew she was never one to demand it.
Although Jack eagerly gifted her jewelry, she rarely wore the anniversary band. Between that and her engagement ring, she felt uncomfortable having that much wealth on her finger. She only wore it a handful of times in public – Election Night, Jack’s inaugural, a couple of fancy parties. In their haste to leave that night in February, it was one of the many superfluous items she left behind at the mansion.
Rhapsody (The Bellator Saga Book 5) Page 22