“Jack,” she said softly. “What is it?”
He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers, weeping. “I’m sorry, baby.”
Oh, God. Where was this coming from? How many drinks had he had? “Don’t be sorry. What’s wrong?”
“I’ll never leave you again. You know that, don’t you?”
“Of course I do. You don’t even need to say it.”
He caressed her cheeks, cupping them in his hands. “I know we can’t control how this will turn out. But I can’t lose you, sweetheart.” He kissed her forehead again. “I can’t.”
The holidays. Maybe it was the holidays. The memories, the stress, the upcoming data release. It was too much for both of them. Caroline sniffled. “I’m sorry I treated you the way I did when I first got here. Please don’t be upset about it anymore.”
Jack held her tighter. “Being with you on that dance floor tonight, seeing you laugh, seeing the pure joy in your eyes, it was like we’d gone back in time. I don’t ever want to lose that feeling. I want it to happen more often. I want you to be the blissful, cheery woman you were before.”
“I can’t make those kinds of promises,” Caroline said.
“I know. I wish I could make you feel that way all the time.”
She put her fingers to his lips. “Do you remember how bad I was earlier in the year? How bad I was two months ago?”
He blinked back a few more tears. “Yes.”
“Do you see the way I am now?”
“Yes.”
“Who or what do you think is responsible for that transformation?”
He closed his eyes. “I don’t know.”
“I changed because of you. You saved me again, Jack. I don’t want to think about what would have happened if you had given up on me.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“You did everything. You know you did. Honestly, for a man with an ego the size of Alaska you can’t accept certain facts very well.” Caroline kissed his cheeks. “I love you, Monty. I trust you. I know you’ll never leave me again. I’m not leaving you, either. Understand?” Maybe she could change course. Cheer them both up. She pulled him into the bedroom. “I want you inside me,” she whispered. “Please.”
He gave her a raunchy smile, even though his eyes were still red. “Take off your clothes.”
Caroline undressed quickly and jumped backwards onto the bed, falling onto the pillows. “Ready,” she said. “Give me a show.”
Jack slipped out of his shirt and pants, chuckling as he crawled beside her. “You’re always ready.”
“I didn’t get a show.”
He kissed the scar on her stomach. “Patience.”
Humorous tone or not, he still wasn’t quite with her. But she’d take him however she could get him. “No,” she said. “Now.”
“I love you, Caroline,” he said, as he pulled on top of her, entering her without another word.
She cried out, digging her nails into his back as he began to move slowly in and out of her. It was luxurious, rich, sweet. She didn’t want it to end.
“I love you,” she whispered.
Jack pulled out and started to kiss his way down her body. Caroline pulled his chin up. “Don’t worry about that tonight.”
“You’re turning down my tongue?”
A rare occurrence, but she wanted to get lost in him. In them. Not in herself. “I want to feel close to you,” Caroline said. “Please don’t stop what you were doing before.” She intertwined her fingers with his and pulled him up until their faces were touching. “Please,” she said.
“Say that again.”
She closed her eyes. “Please.”
“Good girl.”
Her moods changed on a dime but his were just as fast. His sorrow was replaced by a ferocity that only occasionally reared its intense little head. Jack clutched her hair in his hands and Caroline winced, almost crying out.
“You are not allowed to leave me again,” he said fiercely. He glided in and out of her, faster this time.
“Jack, I-” She sank into the pillow as he moved again. She’d been so coherent a moment ago but was unable to focus on anything other than the way he felt inside her.
He loosened his grip. “Open your eyes.”
She looked up at him. His eyes were wet.
“I mean it,” he said. “Never. Again.”
“I-”
“Say it.”
“I won’t leave, Jack,” Caroline gasped, as he continued to move, faster, harder, then slower again. “I promise.”
She met him stroke for stroke until they were both screaming in ecstasy, clinging to each other, as if their bodies couldn’t get close enough. Caroline came first and Jack soon followed, biting at her neck as he exploded inside her.
He rolled over on the bed next to her. “Merry Christmas, baby. You sure did treat me right.”
Caroline laughed softly. “Otis Redding is the best you can do?”
He pulled her into his arms. “Pretty much. I don’t think I’ll have any trouble falling asleep this way tonight.”
“I’ll never leave you,” she whispered. “I swear.”
Jack kissed her forehead. “I know. I got a little caught up in the moment there.” He yawned. “Can I go to sleep now?”
She leaned up to kiss his cheek. “Merry Christmas, Jack.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Things escalated after the New Year. The data release had a ripple effect. International news outlets couldn’t ignore it. Even American commentators had their say, though most dismissed the records as manufactured.
Doors previously closed in Europe and Canada appeared to open. Rebel contacts in Sacramento were constantly funneling requests for information and offers to coordinate resources. Wheels were turning, but Caroline and Jack didn’t want to do much until they knew what was happening with the International Criminal Court. That could be, Caroline supposed, the final nail in Santos’ coffin.
But until they knew what was going on with The Hague, they were standing pat. Waiting for the international community to come to them. It had Jack wound up tighter than ever, so he kept his distance during the day. Avoiding Schroeder like the plague, terrified he’d give them the news. Caroline wasn’t sure what Jack wanted or expected, but he wasn’t thrilled at the prospect of them leaving the base.
With Jack playing the expert at circumvention, Schroeder most often came to her when he needed anything. He’d been warming up but still had his limits. And he tended only to bother her when he knew Jack wasn’t around. He didn’t bother poking his head into her office until nearly a week after the data release.
“Ma’am,” Schroeder said. “May I speak with you?”
She’d been trying so hard to get him to relax. He was too much like his boss. “Only if you call me Caroline.”
He smiled at her. “Okay. Comm – Caroline.”
She needed to bake him more cookies. Caroline laughed. “If it’s that bad you’d better shut the door.”
“Commander McIntyre isn’t here. I checked.”
Of course he wasn’t. “You didn’t want him to be here when you talked to me.”
“It’s nothing bad,” he said, turning around and shutting her office door. “Okay, it might be a little bad.”
“Any word from The Hague?”
“Yes, ma’am. They want you to come there and flesh out your case. That’s part of the reason I want to talk to you.”
“And you didn’t want Commander McIntyre here to talk about it?”
Schroeder took the chair across from her desk. “It’s a little more complicated than that.” He cleared his throat. “The California Republic will provide you with the appropriate travel documents. Passports, visas, etcetera. We have a small fund for expenses for all of you.”
Caroline thought she knew what he meant, but just to make sure… “All of us?”
“Your security team, the two of you, and our informant. I believe they want to elicit testimony from several of you,
as needed.”
She could tolerate a small amount of avoidance but Schroeder wasn’t someone she wanted to go back and forth with all day. “Just tell me.”
“Our informant, uh, Mr.-”
He didn’t want to say the man’s name. Understandable. She could save him the trouble. “Edwards,” Caroline said.
“Yes.”
“He’s still under house arrest, correct?”
“Yes, ma’am. It is my understanding he had a relatively unpleasant Christmas.”
“I see.”
“I made sure he didn’t get dessert.”
Caroline laughed. “I appreciate that. But you don’t have to try so hard. What is it?”
“His guards have repeatedly relayed to me his desire to speak with you.”
Being holed up in his apartment couldn’t be fun. Even if he wasn’t in a jail cell, he wasn’t allowed to do anything. But fuck him anyway. “How long has this been going on?”
“Ever since the confrontation during the meeting.”
That had been months. “You’ve been ignoring it until now?”
“I didn’t think it was worth upsetting your life, since you and Commander McIntyre were doing so well.”
That was considerate, but shortsighted. “Interesting,” Caroline said. “Has he mentioned anything specific?”
“No. Although he has asked for only you. Not your husband.”
Another piece of the puzzle. “Just me.”
“Correct. I did not feel comfortable telling Commander McIntyre this information.”
“But you feel safe telling me?”
“I figured you were more likely to grant such a request if he didn’t know.”
Which was probably true. What could Edwards possibly want from her? To be fair, she hadn’t beaten him up. Jack had done that. “He wants to see me alone.”
“Yes.”
In other words, that asshole didn’t want Jack anywhere near his apartment if any conversation were to take place. “Do you think I should go?”
Schroeder stared at her.
“Don’t look so surprised,” she said. “I value your advice.”
“I don’t know, ma’am.”
“You sat on this for months for a reason.”
“I did.”
“But something made you change your mind.”
“He’s been very persistent. And the guards have started to think maybe there’s something to it.”
“Do you think he’s pulling their chains? Trying to get to me?”
“I have no idea. It’s very curious.”
There was a reason he was telling her now. He could have ignored it forever. “What would you do, in my position?”
“You mean if I was pissed, angry, and eager to get a little revenge?”
A simplistic description that pretty much fit her mood. “I promise not to beat him up.”
He smiled. “Did you cross your fingers behind your back?”
Caroline laughed. “No comment.”
“I don’t think anyone would restrain you if you went that route.”
“What would you do?”
“I’d go,” he said. “My curiosity would get the best of me.”
“But you wouldn’t want Commander McIntyre to know.”
“No, ma’am. I would not want to touch that issue at all.”
She was dying to ask him whether that was because he feared Jack’s reactions or whether he thought it would be more productive to let Caroline deal with it herself. Maybe she and Schroeder weren’t that different. “Jack won’t know about this, correct?”
“I’ve already forgotten this conversation.”
That was enough for her. “Okay,” Caroline said. “I’m not going to see Edwards. And you’re not going with me.”
The smile turned into a full-on grin. There was more to this guy than she had anticipated. “I’ll get my keys,” he said.
* * * * *
Two armed guards greeted them outside Edwards’ apartment. Good to know their orders were being obeyed. Schroeder turned to her.
“I want one of them in there with you,” he said.
Caroline reddened. This was awkward. “I was hoping you’d go in there with me.”
She didn’t expect his blush to match hers. “Are you sure?” he asked.
“It would make me feel a little better.” She tried to smile. “And it may help me keep my temper.”
He shook his head, and she knew he was trying not to laugh. “That seems reasonable. If you want to kick me out at any point, I’ll understand.”
It made sense to have another witness. Just in case. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen but didn’t want to go in alone. “That won’t be an issue. Just do your furtive best when it comes to eavesdropping.”
“You won’t even know I’m there.”
“All right.” Caroline motioned to the guards. “Let’s do this.”
“I’ll go in first,” Schroeder said. “Just to make sure.”
It took a minute or two. He went in with one of the guards and when he didn’t come back immediately, Caroline almost sent the second guard after him. But no, she trusted her assistant. She wasn’t sure what he was doing, but knew it was for her benefit.
He peeked his head out the door. “Ready.”
“What was the delay?”
Schroeder grinned. “I might have laid out some ground rules.”
Oh, she could only imagine. She assumed her husband’s name had come up during the conversation, and not in a pleasant way. Caroline patted his arm. “Captain, you are a constant surprise.”
“I do what I can.” He leaned toward her ear. “I’ll be over in the corner, carefully not listening to everything he says.”
“Good.”
The man sitting at the kitchen table had lost weight since the last time she’d seen him, though she hadn’t been paying attention to his physical characteristics. She’d been spending most of her time trying to keep Jack from throttling him to death. But she’d never been all that focused on him anyway. All that time she’d spent at The Fed trying to memorize features seemed rather pointless now. He looked tired. Gaunt. Like he’d spent some time suffering. Maybe even beating himself up a little. It gave her a small thrill to think about it. My, how things had changed.
No. She could be diplomatic. Positive. Pull out all the stops then shove everything back at him for wasting her time, if the situation warranted.
Edwards watched as the guard shut the door behind her. “Where’s your husband?” he asked.
“You asked to speak with me alone.”
“I did.”
She could remind him of his place. And hers. “My co-commander doesn’t know I’m here.”
“I see.”
He was reading her answer incorrectly. “I’ll tell him eventually. I’m sure he’ll be fascinated by whatever it is you wanted to tell me.” She gave him a hard look. “You healed nicely.”
He didn’t smile. “From the beatdown I got from your husband? He broke about half my face.”
“Now you know how it feels.”
He had the grace to avert his eyes. “No one bothered telling me the two of you were in charge.”
Being presumed dead did have its occasional advantages. “Bet that was a bigger surprise than him coming at you.”
“It was. As was the news that you were part of my rescue team. Why did you come?”
Inquisitiveness seemed too innocent an answer. She could play dumb while still being honest. Caroline saw no point in trying to deceive him. “I don’t know.”
Edwards laughed harshly. “You look like you want to claw my eyes out.”
She’d never been particularly skilled at hiding her true intentions. And she wasn’t going to start now. “I’m considering all options.”
“You can sit down,” he said.
She could get in a little jab. Caroline saw the crutches next to his chair, saw him wince as he shifted in his seat. “I’d prefer to stand.”
>
“May I ask you a question?”
Polite deference. This guy could fuck himself. “Go ahead.”
“If you’d known who I was, would you have rescued me?”
She was well past the point of lying to make other people feel better. “No,” Caroline said. “I’m done pretending to be noble. You could have died for all I care.”
“Well.” He twiddled his thumbs. “I should have expected that. But I think I have something to change your mind.”
How silly of him to assume she’d be the better person. “I don’t want to hear your apologies.”
“I’m not dumb enough to think you’d accept one. But I’m hoping you can help me make this right.” Edwards rose awkwardly, grabbing his crutches and making his way over to a box on the kitchen counter, carrying it back to the table. He rummaged around for a bit, pulling out an item and handing it to her.
A watch. Still in pristine condition. Still ticking. She flipped it over and read the inscription. “This is Tom Sullivan’s watch,” she said softly.
“I know,” he said. “I knew when Murdock showed it to you that day. Did some digging after that. Found information about how we obtained it.”
What an asshole. Still trying to manipulate her more than a year after the fact. “I’m not listening to this. Fuck you.” Caroline shook the box. “Any other ravaged lives in here?”
He grabbed her hand. “Listen to me. Please. Do you want to know why I turned? Why I started helping the rebels?”
This man dared to try to justify his behavior? “I don’t care.”
He ignored her. “You,” he said. “I was transferred into that place minding my own fucking business and the way you stood up – the way you held strong in the face of so much adversity – it changed me.”
Yeah, right. “Didn’t change your behavior.”
“I couldn’t let them know. Not when I was still trying to figure out how to escape. How to get files, feed information to the rebellion. I had to be careful.”
“So, my suffering granted you enlightenment and you left me to die. Is that right?”
He shook his head. “It’s not that simple.”
Caroline scowled at him. “Congratulations on your seriously questionable moral judgment. You don’t get extra credit for doing less than the bare minimum.”
Rhapsody (The Bellator Saga Book 5) Page 33