by Penny Jordan
‘You mean they wouldn’t want me?’ He was close to tears now and Philippa sighed.
‘Oh, darling, I’m sure they would, but Scott wouldn’t believe me, even if I told him.…’
‘Is he still sleeping with you?’
Philippa caught back her shocked breath. ‘Simon… No! I explained to you why.…’
‘I don’t want him to marry Cara, I don’t like her, and besides.…’
‘Besides what?’ Philippa demanded gently, her heart aching for her son’s pain. Of course he loved Scott, how could she ever have thought he might not, and of course he felt jealous at the thought of his father marrying someone else, having a family with her. She swallowed the huge lump in her throat, knowing that she shared Simon’s jealousy. It had tormented her for days that whereas she should have felt pleased and relieved that Scott had made no further attempts to touch her, what, in reality she did feel, was pain and disappointment.
‘Go to sleep,’ she told him. ‘It will all seem different in the morning.’
When she went back downstairs, intending to watch television for a while, she saw that Eve was already watching it. ‘You look tired,’ the older woman commented. ‘Is Scott over-working you?’
‘Not really; I worry about Simon.’ She bit her lip, wishing she hadn’t made that admission.
‘Yes, it can be very difficult bringing up a child alone, especially a son. He’s very like his father, unbearably so at times.’ She looked up at Philippa who felt her pulses starting to thud, the blood thundering through her veins. She opened her mouth and closed it, grabbing hold of the back of her chair. ‘He is Scott’s son, isn’t he?’ Eve pressed gently, ‘He’s so very like Scott at that age, and of course it would explain so much.…’
Like why Scott had given her a job and had her living in his house? Dear God, what was she going to do?
‘Scott doesn’t know… about Simon, I mean. He thinks.… He thinks—–’ To her appalled dismay Philippa had started to cry, huge tearing sobs that hurt her chest, tears sliding impotently down her face.
‘Oh, my poor Philippa!’ How had she come to be in Eve’s arms crying out her pain and anguish on Scott’s mother’s shoulder—the last person she should be turning to?
‘I’m so sorry,’ she gulped when the flood had ceased, ‘I can’t think what came over me.’
‘I can,’ Eve said dryly. ‘My son can be the very devil at times, and I know for a fact that he’s never forgiven you for what happened all those years ago. I must admit I was surprised—and worried when he told me you were going to work for him and live here. He’s been so bitter. Of course he thinks I don’t know about it. Sons always think their mothers are blind!’ she grimaced faintly, ‘and of course because of my health he always used to think he had to keep things from me, but I could tell. I guessed the moment I saw Simon that he was Scott’s.’
‘Scott thinks he’s Geoff’s son.’
‘Does he indeed? And why I wonder, should he think that? Would you care to tell me?’
It was a relief to talk to someone about it. Eve Garston listened in silence. ‘Jeffrey always did hate Scott. He hated Scott’s father, and he never forgave him for leaving home, for escaping him. When he discovered how much Scott loved Garston it was a weapon he couldn’t resist using against him.’ Eve sighed faintly. ‘When Scott told me you were going to work here I wondered if he wasn’t too much like his grandfather. He’s been so bitter, Philippa.’
‘Yes, I know but what could I do? I knew he loved Garston.…’
‘And you loved him, so you decided that Garston was more important to him than you?’
‘I was seventeen, romantic and full of day-dreams. It never occurred to me that his grandfather was lying to me, or that Scott wouldn’t marry Mary. I thought I was being so self-sacrificing.…’ She grimaced faintly.
‘You played right into Jeffrey’s hands, both you and Scott. My poor child, Jeffrey had no intentions of letting Scott have Garston, and when Scott told him flatly that he wasn’t going to marry her he went a little mad, hurting him every way he could.’
‘As Scott now wants to hurt me.’ Philippa pressed her lips together and slanted a brief glance at Eve.
‘Yes, I’m afraid you’re quite right. I’ve been worried about that, more so since I realised that Simon was his. If he should find out.…’
‘He wouldn’t accept it.’
‘No, possibly not. You know there’s talk of him marrying Cara Laine?’
‘Yes, Simon is very unhappy about it.’ She saw Eve’s look and sighed. ‘I wouldn’t have told him, but he had seen his birth certificate—years ago, and when we came up here and he heard Scott’s name,’ she shrugged. ‘I’ve explained the whole mess to him as best I can. He is very mature, but he’s still a boy of ten, and I think he feels bitter and resentful because I’ve deprived him of his father. He worships Scott.’
‘I’ve noticed.’
‘Scott says he’ll tell the police about Simon trespassing, and riding that motorbike, if I try to leave, and then there’s the matter of the damage to his Rolls. I can’t possibly afford to pay for it.’
‘I’d gladly lend you the money, but somehow I don’t think.…’
‘It wouldn’t make any difference,’ Philippa agreed. ‘I’ve come to the conclusion that the only thing to do is to let him take his revenge and hope that it purges the bitterness from him.’
‘You still love him?’
‘Does it show so very much?’ she asked wryly. ‘Yes. Yes, I’m afraid I do. Quite how much I didn’t realise until I saw him again, but I have Simon to think of now. You won’t tell Scott, about Simon, I mean?’ she asked pleadingly.
For a moment Eve seemed disinclined to agree and she gave a faint sigh. ‘I don’t believe I have the right to. But Philippa, he is Simon’s father, and if you could explain to him—–’
‘He would what? Accept me on sufferance!’ She shook her head decisively. ‘No. When the time comes I’d rather make a clean break.’
‘And Simon—will he want to leave?’
* * *
She didn’t tell Simon that Eve had guessed his paternity, but she couldn’t help noticing how her son clung to Scott’s side at every opportunity and how patiently Scott answered all his questions. He might not like her, but he was always scrupulously fair about not allowing his dislike of her to flow over to Simon.
‘Scott’s getting real attached to that kid of yours,’ Hank commented one day. ‘Funny how alike they are, both mentally and physically.’
Philippa shrugged, hoping he wouldn’t notice her changing colour. ‘Simon misses a father’s influence, I suppose. Any news about the American contract?’ she asked, changing the subject. It seemed to her that Cara was deliberately drawing out the negotiations, delaying things so that she would have more time to spend with Scott. If Scott was getting fond of Simon, Cara definitely wasn’t. She complained waspishly to Philippa one afternoon that she was sick of him making a nuisance of himself.
‘He’s always hanging around Scott,’ she told her. ‘If the kid wants a surrogate father, why don’t you go find him one? Who is his father anyway? Rumour has it in the village that it’s some guy who ditched you to marry someone else.’
What else had rumour told her? Philippa wondered. Did she know about the relationship between herself and Scott? She suspected that she probably did; she certainly tried hard enough to make sure that Scott didn’t spend too much time in his secretary’s company. They were out together nearly every lunch time and she was constantly walking into the office.
One afternoon after work Philippa found Simon moodily kicking pebbles round the courtyard, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans, his face contorted in a scowl.
‘How about a swim?’ she suggested. They often used the indoor pool late in the afternoon, but Simon hunched his shoulders and shook his head.
‘I was going out with Scott, he promised me, but she wanted to go out with him.’
‘Simon,
try to understand, Cara wants Scott to herself, just like you do. Adults do want to be alone at times you know.…’
‘You mean she’s in love with him, don’t you? Is he going to marry her?’
‘I just don’t know, and it’s really none of our business is it?’ she added gently.
Simon rounded on her furiously, his cheeks poppy red, his eyes defiant. ‘It is my business,’ he shouted back, ‘he’s my father!’
She felt too dispirited to discuss it further. Eve and her companion had gone out to have dinner with friends, Scott was out with Cara, and so Simon and Philippa ate dinner alone. It was late when Scott got back. Philippa heard the sound of his car, and she had no idea when he came to bed; she was fast asleep, even though she had lain for what seemed like hours after the car had stopped, listening for the sound of his tread along the corridor. Had he spent the night with Cara?
* * *
She had been at Garston nearly a month now. They were having a hot spell, and she decided to have a swim after work. She was just on her way to her room to collect her swimsuit when she heard Simon’s voice, raised and bitterly angry, coming from the direction of the garage area. Frowning, she walked past the door and into the yard, coming to an abrupt halt. Scott and Simon were standing on one side of the Ferrari, Cara on the other. Both Simon and Cara were flushed and angry, and the American girl’s voice was acid with scorn as she said tightly, ‘Scott, for God’s sake get rid of this damned kid. If you’re so all-fired fond of them, have some of your own, I’m sure you’re more than capable, darling, and you wouldn’t have to look far for someone to share your bed.…’
‘He doesn’t.’ That was Simon, struggling to hold back tears, unaware that Philippa was hurrying towards him. ‘My mother already shares it,’ Simon stuttered furiously, ‘and they’re going to get married, and.’
‘Simon!’ Philippa was too shocked to do more than call his name, but he turned immediately, his face flooded with guilty colour and did something he hadn’t done in years, running towards her and hurling himself into her arms.
‘My God, so it’s true,’ Cara hissed venomously, ‘I’d heard about it in the village, but I thought you’d seen sense, Scott, I thought you’d realised exactly what sort of woman she was. Well, I wish you well of her,’ she spat out, ‘but just remember when she’s warming your bed in future, how much she cost you. There’s no way you’re going to get Daddy’s contract now.’
She whirled into the house before Scott could speak, and Scott turned to Philippa, his face white, his eyes burning bitterly as they ripped savagely into her. ‘Damn you,’ he swore furiously. ‘You always were trouble for me Philippa, you always were and you always will be!’
She was too concerned about Simon to take the time to point out to him that he could have denied Simon’s shrill statement. The crying had stopped, but he was still shivering in her arms.
‘You’ll pay for this,’ Scott told her angrily. ‘You can damn well be sure of that.’
‘What do you want me to do? Tell Simon to apologise to her? Was it my fault that he saw you in my room?’
‘I never said a thing about marrying you. I suppose he got that from you, a sop to your conscience. Well, let me tell you.…
‘No, let me tell you.’ Philippa stormed back at him. ‘Your precious Cara wanted to marry you and she was going to use her daddy’s buying power to make sure she got you. Go to her now, I’m sure you’ll soon be able to convince her it was all a tiresome mistake; just a silly jealous little boy who’s become far too fond of a man who doesn’t give a damn about the feelings of anyone but himself. Go ahead… what’s stopping you?’
‘That,’ Scott told her flatly as they both caught at the same time the sound of the expensive engine of Cara’s car firing up. ‘Have you any idea how much you just cost me? I could lose everything, do you realise that?’ He turned on his heel and left before she could say another word.
* * *
In the morning Simon was so wan and listless that Philippa told him to stay in bed.
‘Don’t worry about him, Philippa, I’ll go up and sit with him for a while,’ Eve assured her.
‘You know what happened?’
‘Not really. Scott came in in a foul temper before dinner and said that Cara had left and that we could say goodbye to the American contract. He said something about Simon causing a scene.…’
‘Simon’s been very jealous of Cara. She rubs him up the wrong way, deliberately I’m sure.’ She couldn’t admit even to Eve that for a moment she had half expected Simon to state that Scott was his father and that she was still having cold shudders at the thought of it. It wasn’t fair of Scott to blame Simon and her for losing the contract though. He could easily have gone after Cara. Her storming out had been more for effect than anything else, and she had expected Scott to follow her, Philippa was quite sure. She had thought she had him over a barrel and perhaps Scott had sensed that too. And he was, after all, not the man to dance to any woman’s fiddling.
CHAPTER SIX
‘WELL, well, public enemy Number One,’ Hank teased lightly. Philippa sighed as she removed the cover from her typewriter. ‘Ah, you’ve heard about last night.’
‘In vivid technicolour,’ he affirmed. ‘Cara came storming into the pub just as I was sitting down to eat. You’ve made yourself an enemy there.’ He was watching her speculatively, and Philippa wondered how much credence he had placed on what Cara had told him.
‘You must be pleased though,’ she said dryly.
‘You mean that with Scott out of the running she might turn to me? Could be. She’s flying home in two days, and I’ve offered to go with her. She’s convinced herself that she’s a very fragile flower and right at the moment she needs someone to hold her hanky and dry her eyes. Scott owes me some leave and we’re slack enough for me to be able to take it.’ He frowned. ‘Of course, it’s going to create cash flow problems with this new machine. Scott hasn’t got any more orders in the pipeline.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘I’d better go and clear my desk if I’m going to take time off. See you later.’
It was after lunch when the phone rang. Philippa hadn’t seen Scott all day and she picked it up automatically. ‘Pippa, my dear, how are you?’ She gasped at hearing Sir Nigel’s voice and wondered why her old employer was ringing. She exchanged pleasantries for several seconds and then he said convivially, ‘I think I might be able to put a little business your new employer’s way, my dear. Sheikh Raschid is over from Qu’har, and it seems he’s very interested in equipping the police force with an up-to-date computer. It could be the first of several; they can certainly afford it. He asked me if I could recommend anyone, and I thought immediately of Garston. He does have a formidable reputation and he’s working on something rather revolutionary at the moment isn’t he? Is he there?’
‘Not at the moment.’
‘Umm, well Raschid is over here for a week, so that doesn’t leave much time. Would you ask him to give me a ring when he comes back? I thought we might arrange a meeting, get Raschid up there so that they can talk to one another. He sends you his best by the way.’ Philippa could tell that Sir Nigel was smiling and repressed a small grin herself. The charming liquid-eyed Arab had been very gallant to her on his last visit, and she rather enjoyed their very mild flirtation, even if she was too sensible to deceive herself that it was anything more than that.
‘I’ll tell Scott just as soon as he comes in,’ she promised.
The rest of the staff had gone home before Philippa finally decided to call it a day. There was no sign of Scott’s car and on a sudden impulse she headed for the woods, enjoying the playing of the light evening breeze across her skin, telling herself she was a coward for not returning to the house and facing Simon. For the sake of her son she must leave Garston, and she would have to tell Scott that. He had eyes, he could see how attached to him Simon was getting. He had already witnessed how dangerous it could be, surely he wouldn’t refuse to release them now?
By the time the Hall was in sight again she was feeling much calmer, although she couldn’t help wishing that neither Eve Garston nor Simon himself were aware that Scott was his father. Although she couldn’t entirely discount the fact that Simon shared an interest in computer science with Scott, she wondered if he would have become so emotionally involved with him if he hadn’t known that Scott was his father, and yet she couldn’t find it in her heart to blame Simon. It was only natural that he should be drawn to Scott. No, if anyone was to blame it was her. Just for a moment she allowed herself to imagine how her life might have been if she had not listened to Jeffrey Garston; if she had not been seventeen and so innocently in love that he had been able to mould and use her as a weapon against his grandson. It was too late for regrets now, she reminded herself. Scott was too bitter for her to be able to approach him with the truth, and even if he wasn’t her pride would prevent her from telling him. No doubt he would quickly accuse her of playing on his sympathies and she could hardly expect him to shoulder the responsibility of a child he didn’t even know he had fathered. No, matters were best left as they were, although the sooner she and Simon left Garston the better!
Eve was dining out again, she had several friends in the neighbourhood, and Philippa couldn’t help comparing her gracious, kind manner with that of her boorish father-in-law. Jeffrey Garston had never been popular in the area, and Philippa suspected that there might be some truth in the rumour that his fatal heart attack had been brought on by his discovery that the grandson he had always hated had done so well for himself. Had he guessed that Scott would purchase the estate on his death? And Scott, did he ever regret doing so? She had seen how much it cost him to run the house; the rental from the home farm alone could never even have paid the rates. No wonder Scott was so anxious about this new computer, and she had, indirectly, been responsible for him losing the contract. There seemed no doubt that he had lost it, even Hank had believed that. His love for Cara didn’t blind him to her faults; she could be vindictive as only spoiled teenagers could be and her father had never been known to refuse her anything she wanted.