by Marian Tee
Constantijin tossed me an accusing glance. “The whole week had been fucking hard. It was hell not to touch you even though I had you alone with me all those nights. I wanted you to realize that it isn’t just sex between us. I was willing to wait but when I saw that boy hitting on you again---”
He glanced at me, as if waiting for an answer. When I still didn’t – couldn’t – speak, he growled, “Say something, for fuck’s sake!”
How could I when he had totally taken me by surprise? When he said things weren’t working between us, my heart had died. And then now, he was saying in not so many words that all that he couldn’t go on without me giving him even the smallest sign that we still had a chance to be together.
I wanted to laugh hysterically.
A chance?
Didn’t he know he had hundreds of them, with how crazy I was about him?
I looked at him and felt my heart melting even more. He made my heart feel like ice cream fried by a desert sun, all soft and gooey with just one emotion-filled glance from his silvery eyes.
I inhaled deeply several times.
Okay, I'm ready for this.
Not.
I inhaled several times more.
"Yanna?" His tone was alarmed.
I supposed I looked like a ghost right now. I could actually feel the blood leaving my system and I was just contemplating what I was about to do. This was such a huge step for me.
“I…I…” I couldn’t say it!
So I decided to just do it instead.
“Yan---” He grunted, his turn to be taken by surprise as I flung myself at him, my lips fortunately landing squarely on his lips. My tongue immediately darted inside his mouth, and I felt him gasp against my lips. That had me smiling and I closed my eyes in utter bliss when Constantijin recovered from his shock and took over, his hands immediately hauling me close as he deepened the kiss, his tongue dancing with mine.
“Is this for real?” he whispered against my lips.
“Yes,” I choked out.
The kiss changed from sweet to hot in an instant. Constantijin had my blouse unbuttoned in seconds, throwing it with my bra to the floor, and then he was staring at my breasts almost worshipfully.
“Constantijin.” I could feel myself blushing all over at his stare.
“Hold your breasts for me,” he ordered, his voice strongly accented.
With shaking hands, I followed his command, plumping my breasts up as if waiting for his approval.
A low sexy growl escaped his mouth, making my toes curl, and then he was sucking my already pointed nipple. I threw back my head and moaned.
This made him suck harder and of course it made me moan louder. It was a cycle that had us both panting in desire in seconds. He swept me in his arms and mine went around his neck. I was still breathing hard, my breasts crazily sensitive and aching every time I bounced in his arms as he moved.
Constantijin used his foot to pull his executive chair from behind the desk and into the middle of the room. He lowered me gently to it and I watched in breathless fascination as he pulled my skirt and lacy briefs down, tossing them to the floor as well.
Then he was staring at my sex.
I immediately tried to close my thighs, but his harsh-sounding ‘no’ stopped me.
“Place your legs over the arm rests, Yanna.”
I froze.
Constantijin’s face was implacable. “Do it.”
Slowly, I lifted my legs and placed one on each armrest.
“Open wider.”
Striving to get past my embarrassment, I pushed my thighs to open wider with my hands. I gasped when Constantijin suddenly knelt down and I gasped again when he parted my folds as widely open as my thighs.
“Constantijin!” I had to scream his name. It was impossible not to, with his tongue entering my fully opened sex.
He lifted his head, his eyes glittering with fierce desire as he warned me with silky softness, “Don’t let go of your thighs. Keep it open for me.”
My entire body shaking, I pressed my hands harder against my thighs to keep it spread open, whimpering as I saw his head slowly descending. And then his tongue was on me again and I screamed. He was unmerciful, his tongue thrusting in and out in a furiously fast rhythm that had the entire room whirling around me.
I was so out of my mind with desire and I felt myself perversely pulling my thighs wider open even though what I really wanted to do was to grasp his hair so I could make him kiss me more deeply.
Constantijin lifted his head again. “Do you like it?”
“Wh-what do you think?” I managed to gasp.
“What do I think?” he murmured. “I think I want you to beg.”
The smirk I hated and loved was on his face and I retorted breathlessly, “Not on your---aaaah.” Constantijin was now sucking my clit while shoving one finger into me at the same time. My hips rose to meet his mouth and finger even as I kept pushing them to spread wider.
“Wider,” he commanded between sucking hard on my clit and I struggled to obey him even though I felt myself stretched beyond my limits.
“Are you ready to come, Yanna?”
“Yes,” I cried out. I was gone now, every common sense obliterated by my need for him and what he could do to my body.
“Beg for it,” he growled.
“Constantijin, please!”
One hand went under my buttocks and then he was lifting me up at the same time he bit my clit, his other fingers thrusting in deep and hard into my core. I screamed as I shattered, my hands instinctively pressing my legs flat on the armrest as my essence kept pouring out.
I woke up in Constantijin’s arms in his couch, spread on top of him like a harem slave intent on being turned into a human blanket. I blinked, a little dazed at first and then I was blushing when I saw his smile. It made me remember what had just happened.
“Welcome back, schat.” He pressed a kiss to my hair.
My entire body tingled at his kiss. I was still completely naked and he was still fully dressed. It should have felt wrong but it didn’t. I wrapped my arms more tightly around him. A surprised-sounding chuckle escaped him before he wrapped his arms around me as well.
I snuggled closer, mostly because I liked knowing that I had the right to do this.
“Damn, but you feel fucking good in my arms.”
I giggled.
He lifted my chin, and my breath caught at the gentle smile on his lips. “It’s true.”
Oh, Lord. Constantijin in a tender mood was a sight to behold.
“It feels good, too,” I admitted shyly.
As the minutes passed, I found myself slowly getting panicking. What had I done? What was going to happen? There was no turning back now! Oh my God, I was going to have sex with Constantijin someday!
“What are you thinking?”
“That you’d take my virginity someday?” Oh, fuck. What did I say?
Constantijin choked.
And under me, I felt him stirring to life.
I blushed.
Seeing that, he grinned. Cupping my face, Constantijin said, “It’s not the right time yet but soon – very soon – I will take your virginity.”
Faking a frown, I retorted, “Confident much?”
A slow, sexy, and unapologetically confident grin was his only answer. It was enough to have my body heat up. Then his eyes trailed down, and I gasped, remembering belatedly that I was still naked and he was not.
I looked around wildly, wondering how I could get myself dressed again when my clothes were all over his office.
Constantijin chuckled. “Let me help you dress, sweetheart.” He stood right after, carrying me in his arms effortlessly before letting me carefully slide down to my feet. I stood there, feeling even shyer as he picked up my bra first.
My body tingled as Constantijin pressed one kiss on each nipple before putting my bra back on and even clipping it for me.
Then he knelt down.
“Constantijin!” But i
t was too late. My hands curled around his shoulders helplessly as he tongued my clit playfully and sweetly, nipping it before letting go and grinning up at me.
Breathless and aching, I glared down at him. “You…” Words failed me and I could only continue glaring at him impotently as he lifted one of my legs up, pressing a tender kiss on my foot before putting my lacy briefs back on. When both legs were in, Constantijin pulled it up with exquisite slowness, placing more tender kisses on my skin as I did. By the time he was done, I was a shaking mess, and all I could think about was why? Why wasn’t he going to take my virginity now?
Oh, Lord. Why did nobody tell me sexual infatuation didn’t just make fools of us? It made sluts of us, too!
He chuckled again, and when our eyes met I had a sinking feeling he knew exactly what my thoughts were.
“I want to savor you, sweetheart,” he murmured even as he gently fixed the collar of my blouse.
I was fascinated with every movement of his hand and more so by the thoughts and feelings behind his actions. Constantijin Kastein was fixing my collar. Constantijin, who practically delegated everything he had to do to his countless minions.
Oh, the mind boggled!
“…Yanna?”
I blinked up at him. “Sorry?”
He frowned. “I asked you a question.”
Giving him a sheepish smile, I said, “Sorry, I was…” I bit my lip, not wanting to let him know how near to obsessed I was with every little thing he did.
He raised a brow.
God, even that small action was sexy – enough to have my body tingling again. “I was just thinking,” I heard myself saying – well, fine, lying – “what others would say if we get caught.”
His eyes narrowed. “Get caught…by whom? The boy who keeps hitting on you?”
It honestly took me more than a few seconds to remember who he was referring as a ‘boy’. Laughingly, I said, “You and I both know Drake is not a boy, Constantijin. And no – I wasn’t referring to him. I’m referring to everyone working here.”
“He is a boy and as for everyone else, what is there to worry about? You are my woman. That is all they have to know.”
I shook my head stubbornly. “No. It’s too soon. We have to give…give this thing between us some time – give us time to adjust before we let others know about it.”
He took a long hard look at my face. “Yanna – I mean it when I said I will not make the same mistakes again. From here on, it will just be you and I. The two of us – no other women…” His eyes narrowed once more, his voice chilling as he finished, “And I will not tolerate any other man in your life. I do not even want to see you glance at any other man or even hear another man’s name on your tongue.”
The possessiveness in Constantijin’s gaze and words made me shiver, but it wasn’t fear I was feeling. A part of me still couldn’t believe that he wanted me – that I mattered to him enough for him to dislike the idea of me having anything to do with any other man.
But I had to stand my ground on this. If things got bad between us again, I knew I would be the one suffering more between the two of us. “Just…just give me at least a week. Please?”
Just when I thought I had hit a brick wall Constantijin’s expression relented, softening marginally as he said, “A week. And that’s it.” Curving an arm around my waist, he walked us out of his office, letting me go only to lock the door before pulling me close again.
When I turned around, I almost jumped in fright since the boy Constantijin so loved talking about was in front of us, a quizzical look on his face.
He wasn’t alone either.
Behind him, I saw at least five familiar faces from Finance, the department Drake worked in as well.
Oh, shit.
This was what I so didn’t want to happen. I believed Constantijin when he told me he was going to be faithful to me, but --- intentions were just that – intentions. The truth was, I didn’t have yet the courage to have everyone know that Constantijin and I were dating. If he ended up breaking my heart again, people wouldn’t think I was a girlfriend he dumped. Everyone would think I was the floozy who didn’t know better, getting what I deserved.
“Hello, Yanna.” Drake’s drawl made me look back at him, and the smile in his face was as friendly and as flattering as before. He had his blazer draped on one arm while holding his brief case and several folders. His polo had its sleeves rolled to his elbows, its tails hanging loose over his pants, and unbuttoned low enough to reveal a sprinkling of chest hair.
Honestly, I’d be such a liar if I said that I wasn’t momentarily dazzled at how sexy Drake looked right now.
“We just finished brainstorming,” he continued.
The way his gaze lingered on my body, the way his eyes were so shamelessly appreciating every curve and inch of skin he saw – I couldn’t help but blush.
Behind me, I felt Constantijin suddenly tense, as if he had sensed my blushes and didn’t like it.
Oh, shit.
Realizing that Drake was waiting for me to answer, I stammered, “I…was working overtime for, uhh, Mr. Kastein. He wanted me t-to provide the latest work schedules of the cast for the potential TV adaptation of Hana Kimi for U.S.”
In the periphery of my eye, I saw Constantijin finally turn around. When I saw him about to curve his arm around my waist, I panicked and moved away before he could reach me.
Drake blinked when I was suddenly several feet away from all of them and just a short distance away from the reception area. “Are you in a hurry to go home?”
Trying to ignore the daggers shooting from Constantijin’s eyes, I said, “Umm, yes.” I opened my mouth to say goodbye, but Drake beat me to speaking.
“Let me drive you home then. I know you just take the bus but at this time of the night – even independent girls like you need to take more care.” By the time I managed to close my gaping mouth, my mind whirling at the unexpected turn of events, Drake had already reached my side and taking my bag from me.
“B-but…”
“I’ll worry about you endlessly if I let you go home alone tonight,” Drake murmured.
Oh, oh, shit.
Constantijin wasn’t just glaring daggers at me now. He was literally trying to kill me with his glare, and I knew that it was just going to get worse.
Drake was talking to one of his colleague, leaving last-minute instructions for the minutes of their meeting. A chorus of goodnights followed and then Drake was saying, “You, too, sir. Good night, Mr. Kastein.”
My phone vibrated inside my bag and I hastily fumbled for it, knowing who it was.
If you fucking dare leave with that boy…
Oh, oh, oh, shit!
Didn’t he know I had no choice but to fucking leave with this boy – I mean, man? It was too soon for us to go public. It was just too soon, with the wounds he left in my heart too raw, and the memories of the times he had turned me down and pushed me away too fresh.
The elevator’s arrival chime snatched me out of my reverie. By the time I recovered my senses, Drake was already inside the elevator, holding the open button. “Yanna?”
I stepped inside.
The last thing I saw was Constantijin’s cold and impassive face before the elevator’s doors closed on us. With the others already walking past Constantijin, their backs to us, I allowed myself to plead with him with my eyes. A week, I tried to communicate with him mentally.
But Constantijin only stared, not a flicker of expression on his face to tell me I had reached him. When the elevator’s doors finally closed shut, I felt like it was permanently keeping us apart this time.
“Are you all right, Yanna?” Drake asked beside me.
No. I was not. I just had the best moments of my life a while ago and now I was having my worst.
Was it going to be like this between Constantijin and me time and time again? Did it always have to be a battle between the two of us?
Forcing myself to smile at Drake, I lied, “I’m oka
y. Just tired.” Almost unconsciously, I found myself texting Constantijin.
A week, I typed. You promised me a week of just keeping things between the two of us, and that seven-day period started tonight.
But he didn’t reply, even though I waited till the very next morning for even the smallest sign that there was still something worth waiting for.
Lesson #9