by Lucy Gage
“What the hell?” he said.
Meg took the opportunity to ease away from him and shoot Em a grateful glance.
“Meggie, we have to get home. Charlie paged. There was an accident.”
“What? Who?”
“I don’t know. We’re not near a phone. I can’t exactly call. We have to leave. Now.”
“Of course,” she said, worried but also thankful to be getting away from Tim the Terrible Kisser. She’d be breaking up with him tomorrow.
Craig drove straight to Meg’s driveway. The girls said goodbye, Meg quickly exiting and avoiding a kiss from her soon-to-be-ex. They walked in the front door instead of trying to sneak into the house. At the sound of the door opening, her mother stepped into the foyer.
“Meg? Where have you been?”
“Out with the guys. Charlie paged Em. Was there an accident?”
Her mother’s face dropped. “Yes. Someone crashed into Tom as he drove through an intersection.”
“What?” Emily said, her face pale. Though her father, a traveling salesman, was on the road constantly, he’d rarely had an accident.
“He’s okay, Emily,” Meg’s mother said, reassuring Em as she lay her arm across the girl’s shoulders. “Your mom is at the hospital with him. The impact was on the passenger’s side of the car. He may have broken his arm, but he was lucky it wasn’t worse.”
Emily’s shoulders relaxed. “Can you take me to the hospital?”
“I can, but we need to stop and pick up Charlie and Annie.”
“Mom left them home?” Em’s sisters were twelve and fourteen.
“The hospital said your dad would be okay, and since we didn’t know where you two were, Charlie insisted on staying home until we found you. Your mother wouldn’t let her stay alone. Come on, let’s go. We’ll get your things later.”
As they drove to Em’s house, Meg’s mom was silent. Finally, she said, “I’m very disappointed in you two. I hope it was worth it.”
Meg grumbled, “Not really, no.”
While Emily went into the house, Meg’s mom asked, “What were you thinking, Meg?”
“I was thinking that it sucks to go on dates with boys when Nina is in the car.”
“That’s no excuse for sneaking out of the house. We could have had an adult conversation. Instead, you’ll be grounded for two weeks.”
“Doesn’t matter. Em will get grounded longer.”
“Would you like to be grounded longer, too? Keep up that smart mouth and you will be.”
“Sorry.”
“You better be, little girl. I give you a lot of freedom. Don’t abuse it and make me take it away. Do we have an understanding? If you don’t like how things are, you come talk to me instead of being stupid. This time, Tom was in an accident. What if it had been you two? I didn’t even know where you were!”
“I said I was sorry.”
“Then act like it.”
Emily returned, Annie and Charlie in tow. The three Ward girls piled in the back and clicked seat belts. They rode to Bangor in silence, the only sounds Charlie’s quiet sobs and the road noise.
Once inside the ER, Emily ran to her mother and threw her arms around Gail, who had been in the waiting room.
“Is Daddy okay?” Em asked, tears in her voice.
Gail rubbed her back and said, “He’ll be fine. They took him to x-ray to get an idea of how bad the break is, but he’s otherwise all right. He was very fortunate to be in that tank of a car he insists on driving. We will talk later about where you and Meg were when I called.”
Emily nodded, her slumped shoulders a clear indication that the discussion – or at the very least, the results – would not be pleasant. Gail wasn’t one to act dramatic, but she was a battleaxe.
Meg looked at her mother, then at Em.
“Do you want us to wait with you?”
“Thanks, Meggie, but you should head home. I’ll call tomorrow.” Em glanced at Gail, who narrowed her eyes. “To let you know how Daddy is doing,” Em added.
Gail tilted her head to say, And that will be the extent of your call.
Shit. She’d ruined the end of Em’s summer and for what? Stupid Tim and his slobbering. Never again.
The next afternoon, Meg sat by the pool in her bikini, the sun beating on her skin while she read a Maeve Binchy book, her secret vice. It wasn’t that she loved romance novels so much as she loved all things Ireland, including Colin Farrell, U2, The Cranberries and yes, Maeve Binchy, who always made her feel like she was sitting right there, in that Dublin pub or the little cottage in a green hamlet.
But even her favorite book boyfriend, Jack Foley, couldn’t shove the guilt away. Not only had she dragged Em – reluctantly and under protest – out of the house, it had been for nothing.
Getting caught had been for the best. She and her mom had a frank discussion last night about expectations. Her mom promised to take Meg to the doctor for birth control pills as soon as she could get an appointment. Not that she was encouraging sex, but she wanted Meg to be smart and prepared. Plus, her periods were hell, and her mom said that the pill should make them easier.
No, the worst part was that she’d been selfish, thinking only about herself and wanting to make out with stupid Tim. Well, no more. No guy was worth ruining her friendship with Em.
Meg tossed her book onto the chair and dove in the pool, soothing her sweaty skin. She took her time surfacing, and when she arrived at the edge of the pool, her mother was standing there with the phone.
“It’s Emily. You have five minutes.”
Meg dried her hands and face before she took the phone. “Hey, Em. How’s your dad?”
“He’s okay, Meggie. Broke his arm above and below his elbow. It was a compound fracture. They kept him overnight for observation and he had the cast put on today. Mom just left to pick him up. She only gave me five minutes, and Annie is keeping track.”
Of course she was. She was Gail’s lackey. “Emma Bean, I’m so sorry I pressured you to leave last night. If we’d stayed home, then you wouldn’t be in trouble. How bad is it?”
“A month. At least school starts next week. I’ll be grounded for the first three weeks of school from everything except classes and clubs.”
“Can you forgive me?”
“Why would you ever think I’d be mad at you?”
“Because it’s my fault you’re in trouble.”
“Meggie, I wouldn’t have gone if I didn’t want to do it. Don’t take all the blame. But I really don’t want to do that again, okay? I’m no good at being the bad girl.”
“I know, Em. I won’t even ask you.” Her mother appeared at the screen door. “Look, Mom is giving me the hint that I need to hang up. I have a lot to tell you, so I can’t wait until school starts.”
“Me, too. See you in a week.”
“We’ll pick you up.”
“Can’t. Mom said I have to take the bus until I’m done being grounded.”
“Harsh.”
Emily sighed. “I can’t complain. It could be worse. Annie is giving me dirty looks, too. I’ll talk to you next week.”
“Bye.” What a crappy way to start their sophomore year.
Chapter 2
Bucksport, Maine, Thirteen years ago…
Neil leaned against the back row of bleachers at the football game, his well-worn copy of The Hobbit in his hands. Bilbo and the company of Dwarves were battling the Goblins, which never failed to make his heart race, no matter how many times he’d read the book. Engrossed in the story, he didn’t hear what Danny had said.
“Murphy, are you listening?”
“What?” he asked, looking at his best friend. As a freshman, Danny had already jumped into high school with both feet, all about girls and diving into the social scene.
Still in eighth grade, Neil wasn’t in a hurry to rush forward. Not the least of which was because he still looked like a kid – he was only 5′4″ and was lucky if he weighed 125 pounds soaking wet wearing a snow
suit. As if girls had any interest in him or he had a shot at slipping into high school parties unnoticed or remotely welcome.
“I told you she’d be here,” Danny replied.
Ah, yes. When Neil was in Ireland this summer, Danny had met a girl while mentoring readers with learning disabilities. Every letter Danny sent mentioned this girl, Emily Ward, the girl of his dreams.
Neil had yet to see Emily, since he’d only been home for a few weeks and, unlike Danny, he wasn’t at the high school. Danny had dragged Neil to the game because he said Emily was attending.
Sighing, Neil humored his best friend by playing along. At two years older than them, given how much more mature girls were than guys, it was highly unlikely that Emily would give Danny the time of day. Not that it stopped Danny from lusting after her.
“Yeah? So where is she?” Neil asked.
“There,” Danny said, pointing at the fence around the field, where several girls stood, presumably to watch the players.
“Which one, Danny?”
“Curly brown hair. She’s wearing jeans and a red hoodie.”
He scanned the row of girls from left to right until he saw the one Danny meant. His breath caught and he swallowed hard.
The most beautiful girl Neil had ever seen stood beside Emily.
She was tall, probably a few inches taller than him, but not as tall as Danny, who was already pushing six feet. Sun-kissed, medium brown hair and the caramel skin on her face – a natural tan that had lingered from the summer days – said she spent time outdoors. Three weeks into September, and she looked like she belonged on a tropical beach, not at a night football game in Eastern Maine, where the trees were starting to turn and the air nipped in the evening.
The girl wore a red hoodie and jeans that hugged the sweet curve of her butt. The wavy, not curly, hair told him she wasn’t Emily.
“Who’s that with her?” Neil asked.
“Uh, Meghan Miles. Emily’s best friend. So, what do you think?”
Staring at Meghan, Neil said, “I think she’s gorgeous.”
“You can’t have her. She’s mine.”
Neil shook his head. “What? Oh. You meant Emily. She’s pretty. You can have her. I want Meghan.”
A huge grin spread across Danny’s face. “It’s time you cared about girls. I was beginning to wonder if you were gay.”
“I’m not gay, you ass. Just hadn’t met any girls who were more interesting than the ones on TV or in my books. Most of the girls in my class are annoying.”
Danny clapped him on the shoulder. “Welcome to the world of teenage hormones, my friend. Now you have a real girl to think about when you jerk off tonight.”
“Screw you, Danny.” He smiled. Danny was right. Neil would be thinking about that girl tonight, for sure.
Danny waved at Emily when she looked toward the stands. She smiled and waved back, then turned back to Meghan and leaned on the fence to watch the game while she talked with her friend.
“She’ll never go out with me,” Danny said, sounding deflated.
“Cheer up. She’s what, a junior? You have two years to catch her attention. Meanwhile, you can stare at her from afar and stalk her by going to every single thing she attends. Like lame football games.”
“As if you’re not stoked to check out high school girls. Dumbass.” Danny smirked. “I’m getting a hot dog. Want to come with me?”
“Nah. I don’t want to ruin your game when you talk to her. She looks at me, she won’t even see you.”
Danny snorted. “You’re too chicken to talk to hottie Meghan.”
“Go make an ass of yourself,” Neil said. You’re right, he thought, as his best friend loped down the bleacher stairs, two at a time. The boy was a leggy beanpole. Neil shook his head. Yep, Danny would probably never catch the attention of Emily.
And Neil had even less chance with her beautiful best friend.
He sighed. Instead of opening his book and diving back into the Goblin battle, he leaned against the bleachers and enjoyed the view. The team might suck and the temperatures were dropping rapidly, but he had a great spot from which to gaze at fabulous Meghan Miles. Might as well drink in his fill while he could.
**********
She’d been dating a fellow junior, football star Toby Hill, since early October. Tonight, his parents were in Portland overnight for a Christmas party, and she had a very important, life-changing date with her boyfriend.
Swiping the mascara wand across her lashes, Meg looked into the mirror, her mouth in an ‘O’. She could see Emily behind her.
“Are you sure you’re ready, Meggie? I mean, if you’re not, it’s okay. Don’t let Toby pressure you. He’s not worth it,” Em said.
Meg whipped around. “I thought you liked him?”
“He’s okay. But that doesn’t mean you should give him your virginity if you’re not ready. I know he asks you all the time.”
It was true. Toby had been trying to get her into bed almost since they’d started dating. Meg wanted to be sure she liked him enough. Love wasn’t an absolute requirement, but after a couple months, she thought she could love Toby, and that would make it better, right?
Because, she was ready. They had done a lot more than kissing. She gave him blow jobs all the time – he liked it and it turned out, she did, too. He’d touched her, put his mouth on her breasts and between her thighs. At this point, she could barely control what would happen. She didn’t want to be one of those girls who threw caution to the wind and had sex the first time out of uncontrolled lust.
Since Toby had been asking for a while, she assumed he’d have condoms. But Meg figured if she was doing this, she’d be the smart girl. She’d had a frank talk with her mother – ever since the Tim incident, she’d promised to be honest about her sex life, so her mom wouldn’t worry – and at the end, to Meg’s relief, they had purchased condoms at the pharmacy.
When her mom asked if Toby was very large, Meg blushed, but she said no. She’d have bought the huge ones and her mom pointed out that they needed to fit snugly. Armed with condoms in her purse, a recent STD check and over a year of taking the pill, she felt prepared.
Mentally, she knew she was ready and she wanted it.
But Em, who was also still a virgin, was not easily convinced, mostly because she was even pickier than Meg. She wanted to be in love her first time, and since basketball star Billy St. Pierre was the guy she currently assigned that category, it wasn’t about to happen. Now that the season was underway, Billy had a flavor of the month.
She sat next to Em on the bed and placed her hand over her best friend’s. “Emma Bean, you know I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t want to do it, right?”
Emily’s mouth turned down just a little. “I know, Meggie, but I’m worried that you think it’s what you want because Toby pushes you so hard to do so much.”
“I like doing those things, Em. He isn’t pushing me. Really. I’m telling you, someday, you’ll give a guy a blow job and you’ll realize it’s actually pretty great for the girl, too. It’s like licking a popsicle, only it’s hot and silky instead of cold.”
The grimace said she did not believe Meg for one second that it was anywhere close to eating a popsicle.
“Besides, there’s also the reciprocal stuff, too, you know. God, it drives me out of my mind when he puts his mouth on me. That makes me want to have sex with him.”
“My point exactly. He’s not innocent, Meggie. He knows what he’s doing. Just because you like it, doesn’t mean he isn’t pushing you.”
Good girl Emily couldn’t believe that Meg wanted these things, too. Toby was just especially skilled at them.
“I’m doing this. You can either be my best friend and support me or you can be a bitch about it.”
“Of course I support you! Always, Meggie! You know that! But I have to be the voice of reason or I won’t forgive myself. I hope you’d do the same for me before my first time. Or if I’m ever with a guy who doesn’t really dese
rve me.”
“We’re back to that again?”
Em had said from the beginning that she didn’t think Toby deserved Meg. He had pursued her, not the other way around, and it had never sat well with Emily. Mostly because Meg – as a smart, non-competitive girl with, let’s face it, small boobs and especially long legs that made her nearly his height – was not at all Toby’s typical fare.
“I’m sorry, but I think you should be with a guy who’ll cherish you, and Toby isn’t that guy. He’s in it for one thing, Meggie. And you’re going to give it to him. Do you think he’ll stick around after that? I don’t. I think he wants to get you in bed to say he can. He’s slept with half our class already. You’re one of the few girls who always gave him the brush-off before. It’s about conquest. Once he has you, that will be it.”
“Thanks, Em. Glad you think so highly of me.”
“It’s not you who’s the bad guy here! It’s him! He doesn’t love you. Don’t you want the first time to be with a guy you love?”
“I don’t care about that, Em. I don’t expect to meet my soul mate in high school. I’m expecting to live a lot of life before I settle down with the man of my dreams. I have career goals and aspirations. I’m going to college and I’m getting my PhD so that I can be a family counselor. You think I’m going to let some high school relationship derail that? No. So what does it matter if they love me or I love them? It changes nothing. I’m having sex with my boyfriend because I want to do it and he’s skilled at the other stuff. It’s good that he’s experienced. At least one of us will know what they’re doing.”
Emily sighed. “Fine.” She stood and headed for the door of Meg’s bedroom. “Call me later. I’ll be here, Meggie. No matter what. He might not love you, but I do.” With that, she left.
She and Toby lasted until February vacation. While their dates before had resembled what Meg considered dating, as soon as they’d started having sex, that was all they seemed to do.
The Friday before school vacation, Toby barely spoke to her all day at school. Thinking it strange, she waited for him by his truck at the end of the day, a light snow falling and coating her hair. Meg had almost given up and gone inside to call her mom for a ride when Toby approached.