by Lucy Gage
“You can’t be serious.”
“As a heart attack.”
He kissed her then, a slow, steady burn that raged into an inferno when he claimed her mouth and devoured her until she couldn’t breathe. When he pulled back, he said, “You let me know when you’re ready for what comes next. I’ll be here.”
Meg whispered, “You really want me that much?” She didn’t think he’d heard; the music was loud anyway, but LL Cool J’s Doin’ It played and the bass rumbled through the club. But he had.
His lips tickled her ear as he said, “I wanted you as soon as I saw you, Meg. Even before I knew you were Carlos’ Mojito. Now I need to make you mine. Say you’ll let me.”
He knew her real name. He had to have been paying attention. Carlos hadn’t called her anything but Mojito for months.
When he looked at her, only one answer made sense. Of its own volition, her head nodded slowly.
“Come home with me.”
“I can’t, Nico. Emily is here.”
“Then we’ll all go to Carlos’ house. I think they might want to leave, too,” he said, and Meg looked over at Em, who’d melted against Carlos as he kissed her thoroughly, his hands tangled in her hair, his hips pressed against hers.
Meg’s eyebrows shot up. Wow. Em wasn’t typically so free with the PDA. She really needed to talk to her best friend. Both of them.
Separately.
“Let’s get out of here. I think Em is drunk.”
“You don’t think Carlos got her drunk? That’s not his style.”
“I don’t think she’s drunk on alcohol. I think she’s drunk on him.”
Nico laughed and slung his arm around her shoulder. “I think you might be right.”
“Okay, you two, time to get out of here,” Meg said.
“Aw, I was having fun,” Em replied, pouting.
“Night’s not over, bonita. You can come to my place,” Carlos said.
“Nico suggested we all go back to your place, Carlos,” Meg said.
Carlos grinned. “You find la chispa?” he asked, teasing.
“More like un incendio,” Meg replied, smiling at Nico, who winked. Emily looked confused, the only one who didn’t speak Spanish here.
Meg wrapped her arm around her best friend. “Carlos is teasing me about Nico. He thinks it’s amusing that I’m insanely attracted to his brother when I wasn’t attracted to him.”
“Insanely?” Nico asked. “Am I cracking your shell already?”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t count your chickens. We’ll meet you at the house. We need to go to the ladies’ room before we leave.”
Nico said, “I came with Carlos. We’ll wait and walk you to your car. I don’t want you walking by yourself.”
“Getting possessive already?” Em teased.
Nico and Carlos shared a glance. Her other best friend had told his brother what had happened with Victor.
“I’ll be okay, Nico.”
“And I’d feel better if we walked you to the car.”
Meg sighed. “Fine. We’ll be out in a few minutes.” She tugged Emily toward the ladies’ room. Inside, Emily demanded answers.
“What was that all about?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t lie to me, Meggie. I know you. Something happened, didn’t it? Something Carlos and Nico know about and I don’t.”
Meg sighed. “I went out with this guy just after you left in March. On our second date, he tried to rape me. I took refuge with Carlos and he brought me to the police station. The next morning was when we had our epically passionless kiss. I’m assuming he told Nico.”
“Oh, my God, Meggie! Why didn’t you tell me?” Emily threw her arms around Meg, tears in her voice, holding tight.
“It wasn’t a big deal.”
“It is a big deal! Why are you being so casual about this?”
“Because I need to get past it, Em. I can’t keep rehashing it or I’ll dwell on it. I’m a psychology student. I’ve had counseling, believe me. Carlos would never have let me get away with brushing it aside, even if I was inclined to do that.”
“Are you really okay?” Emily asked, her voice wobbly. This was why she hadn’t told Em in the first place. “Nico…”
“Isn’t going to pressure me. He already said that. And now that I know he’s aware of what happened with Victor, I believe him. Carlos acts like a playboy, but that’s not really who he is. From what he’s told me about Nico, I’d say the same for him. Speaking of which…”
“I know, Meggie. He told me, while we were at the bar.”
“About?”
“About Ariel and his ex wife. And that he’s bisexual.”
“He used that word, huh?”
“Well, no. But that’s what it is. Has he…been with a lot of men?”
Meg shook her head. “I don’t think so. He’s pretty selective. We’re a lot alike, Em. Aside from the equal opportunity lover thing. I’m camp guy, all the way.”
“Will you think less of me if I want to do more than kiss him?”
“Hell no! If you want to shag him until you can’t walk, I say go for it. He’s a great guy, Em. Trust your gut. If it says you’re not ready to go beyond a certain point, listen to it. Carlos will respect that.”
Em nodded and Meg hesitated for a moment.
“What?” Emily asked.
“He’s not a manwhore. I mean, he kisses people all the time, but he doesn’t sleep with just anyone. He learned the hard way what you really risk every time you have sex. But he likes you, Em. I’ve never seen him kiss anyone like that before. He’ll want to be with you.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready to go that far. He’s your friend, but I only met him tonight. I don’t…”
“I know. You’re not the kind of girl who sleeps with a guy on the first date and you don’t want that to change. But be careful. In the heat of the moment, sometimes it’s hard to stop.”
“Gail drilled propriety into me, Meggie. It’s usually harder for me to turn off the angel on my shoulder than it is to listen to the devil.”
Meg laughed, thinking of Neil, her little angel. “I’m sure you’ll be fine. At least you have chemistry with him. That boy can kiss.”
“Yes, yes he can. How’s Nico?”
“Honestly? I have no idea why it is that there is not even a flicker between me and Carlos, but it’s an out of control wildfire when Nico kisses me. I almost forgot my name for a second.”
“Are you going to sleep with him, Meggie?”
“No. Not now, anyway. Not tonight. Or at least I don’t plan to have sex with him. I’ll probably sleep with him in the guest bed at Carlos’ place. Unless you’d rather I sleep with you.”
“Um, no. I’ll be okay to sleep with Carlos. In his bed, I mean.”
“Come on, let’s get out of here.”
Emily nodded and they were off. What the morning would truly bring – for either of them – it was hard to say. But at least the air was clear and Meg could feel her load lighten, just a little.
**********
Fort Jackson, South Carolina, eight years ago…
“I’m proud of ye, Neil,” his mother said as she hugged him. “Ye’ve grown a bit now, aye?” His parents’ arrival at Fort Jackson at the end of Basic Combat Training had generated excitement for Neil the last few days. Anxious to see them, particularly his mother, from whom he’d so infrequently been separated, Neil smiled wide.
He laughed. “Just a little, Ma.”
His father gave him a manly hug. His dad wore his uniform, and though he’d never measure up to the man his father had always been, Neil vowed to try. At least now he’d started on the right path.
“You made it through in one piece. Good work, son.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Now, are you going to introduce us to your friends?” he asked.
Neil saw Jack, John and Owen standing nearby, patiently waiting to meet Neil’s parents and introduce their own. “Of course,
sir.”
Unlike Neil, who would head to college and the Reserve Officers Training Corps, his three closest friends from his time in BCT were headed to further training and official active duty.
Jack Armstrong and John VanHoughton, best friends and former football teammates who’d joined the Army together, called Kentucky their home state. Originally from Texas, Jack had a southern accent that often intensified if he was tired, upset or excited. John, the only son of racehorse breeders, acted more refined, even when he was joking with his best friend. Though Neil liked them both, he’d grown closer to Jack over the course of the ten weeks. Somehow, he and John didn’t quite mesh as well.
Their fourth Musketeer, Owen Nichols, earned the title of Neil’s new best friend. Though he hadn’t set out to replace Danny, Neil found a kindred spirit in Owen. Like Neil, Owen had been an Army brat. His parents had settled in Kentucky after his father retired. They’d both joined the Army to follow in the footsteps of their fathers.
Owen, Jack and John would leave after graduation for their first post, where they’d join the same unit learning chemical weapons dismantling and disposal. Neil itched to join their team, but that wasn’t in the cards for him.
He made the introductions and the guys promised to rendezvous at a local diner later. Neil and Owen’s parents insisted that they all head to lunch together, so he spent the rest of the afternoon learning about his new best friend through the eyes of his parents.
Before they left the restaurant, Neil pulled his parents aside and said, “I’m sticking around for a day or two, so I can say goodbye to the guys. They’ll be headed to their first post right after this, and I won’t see them for a while. You don’t mind, do you?”
“Of course not, son. We’re glad you made some great friends. It’ll serve you well in the Army. Maybe you’ll be lucky enough to end up at the same post down the road.”
“I hope so, sir. Ma, I love you. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Don’t forget that we have the party when ye get home,” she said, hugging him tightly, as though he was being imminently deployed.
“I won’t forget. Let Danny know I’ll be home by then, okay? I told him to come to the house when I got back, but I didn’t know I’d stay longer when I last talked to him.”
“We’ll do that, Neil. Safe travels.” His father turned to Owen and the Nicholses. “It was great to meet all of you. Owen, good luck at your first post. I hope we get to see you again someday.”
“If I have anything to say about it, you will, sir. Murph is a great friend. We’ll keep in touch. Have a safe trip,” Owen said, as he hugged Neil’s mom and saluted his father. Neil did the same to Owen’s parents, and then they were off.
As they drove to the diner in Owen’s truck, Owen said, “You excited for college?”
Neil shrugged. “I guess. Right now, I wish I was going with you guys. That sounds more appealing than insipid girls and frat parties.”
Owen chuckled. “Yeah, but that’s skinny Neil talking. The girls will get a good look at you and it won’t be long before you’ve forgotten that the old Neil was a virgin who hadn’t kissed more than one girl and was obsessed with an older girl out of his league.”
“Fuck you, Nichols,” he replied with a smirk. Owen’s philosophy – that the psychological approach to any situation bore heavily on the outcome – had convinced Neil that he could be anything he wanted in life. Over the course of Basic, he’d grown another inch, making him 5′8″, and he’d gained a ton of bulky muscle. Though puny compared to Jack, Owen and John, Neil’s sculpted form hardly resembled the boy who’d left for South Carolina a couple months ago. The new body, and the skills that had honed it, improved his confidence.
“You going to see her?” Owen asked.
“Meghan?” Neil replied. Owen nodded. “Doubtful. She attends college in Miami. Last I knew, Charlie said she’d moved off-campus and had a serious boyfriend.” Neil had shared numerous details with Owen about Danny, his girlfriend, Charlie Ward, and of course, the girl who’d never left his mind, Meghan Miles.
“Maybe she’s visiting.”
“Even if she is, it’s not likely that I’ll see her. Meghan is best friends with Charlie’s sister, but I never see her and Charlie together.”
“I thought you said they were friends?”
“That’s what Danny says. I’ve never seen it, not since Meghan graduated. Besides, I won’t be home long anyway.”
“You start in a week or so?”
“Two weeks. I’ll have enough time to take the bus home from here, spend a couple days packing, and then have to turn around and drive to New York.”
“At least your best friend will be in college nearby, right?”
“Only one of them. The other one will be in some Godforsaken hole of a base in the middle of nowhere.”
“Alaska won’t be that bad. And thanks.”
“For what?”
“Saying I’m your best friend.”
“Danny has been my friend since we were three, and I don’t see that changing. But we’re pretty different. You and me, Nichols, we’re cut from the same cloth.”
“Good thing, since we’re in the Army,” Owen joked.
“Not just that, Owen. We think alike. We have the same outlook on life. We’re both sentimental fools.”
“Hey, speak for yourself,” Owen said, feigning insult.
“Tell me you don’t hope to find the perfect girl someday, one who makes your heart beat fast and makes you want to write love songs.”
“Well, dedicate them, maybe. I’m no writer.”
“But you want that.”
“Yeah. Of course. Given how long you’ve held a torch for this Meghan, I’d say you have someone specific in mind.”
“Maybe. My point is, you and me, we’re ready to lay down our lives for our country, our family and the woman we love. Danny…it’s not that he isn’t a good guy, but he’s not that…altruistic.”
“Do you think he doesn’t love Charlie?”
“I think he loves Charlie more than he’s ever loved anyone. And she’s good for him. She brings out a side of him I’ve never seen with anyone else, a kindness and compassion he’s capable of showing but often doesn’t because he’s too plain-spoken. But to be honest, he’d never have given Charlie a second look if her older sister had paid attention to him. So, yes, I think he loves her. But I don’t think he loves her the way I know you and I would love someone. Either she’s not the perfect one for him, or else he has a lot more growing up to do.”
“Sounds like you’re talking about something specific.”
“Put it this way, if I wanted to date as much as he has in college, I’d never have kept a girl back home waiting for me.”
“He’s cheating on her?” Disgust tinged his voice. Like Neil, his fellow Musketeers loathed cheating of any sort.
“No. He’s allowed to see other girls and I know Charlie anticipates the same when she heads to school in a couple weeks. But she didn’t date while he was gone. I can’t imagine doing that to someone, going away and expecting them to wait while I played the field.”
“Me either. You commit, that’s that.”
Neil nodded. “We’re peas in a pod. I don’t always see eye to eye with Danny. I’m glad I’ve found a friend I know gets me.”
“Aw, Murph,” Owen said, batting his lashes. “You like me. You really like me.” Girls would eat that up even more now.
“Shut up, ass.”
“You tell me if you see her, okay? I want to know if she hits on the new Neil.”
Neil laughed. “Unlikely, but I’ll tell you if it ever happens. Come on, I’m starving.”
“Shit, you’re going to grow like a weed again. Good thing you have a school meal plan.”
“Right? I couldn’t afford to feed myself otherwise,” Neil said as they walked into the diner and found Jack and John waiting for them.
Later that evening, Jack and Neil walked into a tattoo parlor near the base
. Owen refused to watch, since he had a needle phobia, and John kept Owen company at the bar down the street.
Neil handed the tattoo artist the drawing Jack had made for him, a trifecta with lines strategically placed in between the forms of the interlaced segments. The lines were runes and said, as closely as possible, Faith, Hope, Love. He didn’t tell Jack what it said, just made the letters and asked his friend to incorporate them in the design.
“You draw this yourself?” the tattoo artist asked Neil.
“No, my friend did,” Neil said, gesturing with his head to Jack, who stood next to him, waiting his turn.
“This is great work,” the guy said to Jack. Looking back at Neil, he said, “I can trace over it and transfer it directly to your skin. You know where you want it?”
Neil pointed to his ribcage, right over where his heart lay. “Here.”
“That’ll hurt like hell. Not much fatty tissue there, especially on you.”
“I can handle it.”
“Don’t worry about him,” Jack replied in his drawl. “He’s tough.”
“Tougher than you, Strongman.”
“Shit, I can kick your ass any day, Murph.”
“Yes you can. But I’ve got you beat in the mental department. One of these days, I’ll catch up to your ass. You better run then.”
Jack smirked. “We’ll see about that. You gonna do this, or are we gonna sit here and shoot the shit all night?”
“Let’s do it,” Neil said.
“I’ll be right back,” the artist replied, stepping out of the room.
Alone, Neil took the opportunity to talk with Jack. “What’s going on with you and Sarah?” he asked.
Jack’s eyebrows shot up. “You noticed that?”
Neil nodded. “I did. So what is it? She’s John’s girlfriend, right?”
Jack sighed. “Yeah. She is. She was mine first.”
“What? When?”
“Junior high. He moved to town and all the girls wanted him. Sarah’s the one who got him.”
“How are you friends with Tiger, let alone best friends?” The very idea boggled Neil’s mind.
“Always have been. I had two choices. I could either be the guy who hated the new kid and made his life hell for takin’ my place, or I could be his friend and we could have a hell of a time together. I picked door number two. Momma always said you caught more flies with honey than vinegar. Being a jerk wouldn’t get me Sarah back.”