by Jodi Perry
It was a Friday. I’d been waiting all day for you to get home. I was sitting on my front verandah when I noticed you coming down the street, and I ran to meet you halfway. I wanted to kiss you so badly, but I couldn’t risk any of the neighbours seeing us.
As we approached your place, you grabbed my hand and pulled me down the side of your house, behind the bins.
I pushed you up against the wall, crashing my lips into yours. My actions were that of a desperate man. We hadn’t taken our relationship any further than kissing, but my torch seemed to be a constant fixture in my pocket. We were both more than ready to take the next step, but we still lived with our parents, so it was impossible. And there was no way I was going to let our first time be in the back seat of your car.
I’d taken a part-time job mowing lawns, without your knowledge. I was trying to earn enough money to take you away somewhere nice, and I wanted it to be a surprise. I scheduled my clients during school hours, and I planned to spend the holidays working while you did your shifts at the ice-cream parlour.
My hand slid underneath your top as our kisses became hot and heavy.
‘Oh my god! What the hell are you two doing?’ we heard your mother screech.
I pulled away from you, but it was too late: we’d been caught. I still remember the look on your mother’s face. She was as white as a ghost, her eyes were wide with shock, and her mouth was gaping open.
‘Let me explain, Mum,’ you said, taking a few steps in her direction.
You stood before her, but said nothing. I’m not sure if you were thinking of an excuse, but unless you were going to tell her you’d been choking and I was using my tongue to dislodge the food stuck in the back of your throat, then the truth was the best way to go.
‘I’m waiting,’ she replied, tapping her foot impatiently on the concrete.
You still couldn’t seem to find the words, so I stepped forward. ‘Jemma is my girlfriend,’ I said. ‘She has been for a week now. We both realised that our feelings for each other ran far deeper than friendship. I’m sorry we kept this from you, but we had planned on telling you, Mrs Robinson. We both just wanted to get used to the idea of being a couple before sharing our news with the rest of the world.’
‘I see.’ She paused briefly as her eyes moved back and forth between us. ‘Well, I suppose I knew this would happen sooner or later. You’re just lucky it was me who caught you, and not my husband. I suggest you both tell him your news tonight when he gets home from work. If he walks in on what I just did, it’s not going to end so well.’
With that, she turned and walked back into the house.
‘Shit,’ you said as soon as she was out of sight. ‘I guess the cat’s out of the bag.’
‘I guess it is. I’m not looking forward to telling your dad, though.’
‘Why? He loves you.’
‘I’m just not,’ I said, shrugging my shoulders. You were his little girl, and he was very protective of you.
‘He’ll be fine.’ You slid your arms around my waist and gave me a devious smile. ‘Now, where were we?’
I was no longer in the mood. ‘No more kissing until we’ve spoken to your dad.’
You lifted my arm, looking down at the watch on my wrist. ‘That’s over two hours away,’ you said, pouting. ‘I’m not sure if I can survive that long.’
Leaning forward, I sucked your bottom lip into my mouth. ‘I’m pretty sure you will.’
My leg bounded nervously under the table as we sat in the kitchen and waited for your dad to arrive home from work. Your mother was behind us, busily stirring dinner on the stovetop.
I felt sick in the stomach when we heard your father’s car pull up in the driveway. The moment he entered the kitchen, you reached for my hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.
He kissed the top of your head. ‘Hey, pumpkin.’
‘Hi, Daddy.’
‘Brax, my boy,’ he added as he passed me, ruffling my hair.
‘Mr Robinson.’
‘Hi, sweetheart,’ he said when he reached your mum, planting a soft kiss on her lips. ‘Dinner smells delicious. We were busy at the bank today, so I didn’t get time for lunch. I’m starved.’
‘It will be ready in about ten minutes,’ she replied.
That was my cue; it was now or never. ‘Mr Robinson,’ I said, inhaling a large breath as I stood. ‘Could I have a word with you?’
My eyes briefly met yours. I love you, you mouthed, and it was in that moment I knew that whatever punishment I was about to receive from your father was worth it.
‘Sure.’ He gave me an inquisitive look as he followed me into the lounge room. ‘Is everything okay, son?’
‘There’s something I need to tell you.’
‘Shoot.’ He eyed me sceptically and he slid his hands into the pockets of his trousers.
‘Jemma and I recently realised that our feelings for each other go beyond friendship.’
His expression turned serious. ‘I see.’
‘We’ve decided to enter into a relationship.’
He took time to ponder my words. He wore a stoic look the entire time, so I was unable to gauge how he truly felt.
‘Do you love her?’ he asked eventually.
‘Very much.’
‘Jemma, can you come in here, please?’ he called out. I wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or not.
‘Has there been any funny business going on?’ he asked as we waited for you.
‘No, sir, but we’ve kissed.’
He cleared his throat, but didn’t reply.
‘Yes, Daddy,’ you said, coming to stand beside me. Your father’s gaze moved down to our hands when you laced your fingers through mine.
‘I’d like to hear your take on this … relationship.’
You looked at me as you spoke. ‘I love him, and he loves me. I’m not sure what else you want me to say,’ you replied.
‘That’s enough,’ he said, nodding his head. He took a few steps towards me. ‘As long as you treat my daughter with respect, and don’t break her heart, we won’t have a problem. Understand?’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Good.’ He extended his arm, and we shook hands. ‘I’d welcome you to the family, but you’ve been a part of the family for years.’
The nineteenth of December 2006. That was our first official date. It was either coincidence or fate that it happened to be on the nineteenth. The restaurant was booked out weeks in advance, and this was the only day I could get. It was a Tuesday, but you were on school holidays, and I didn’t have to start uni for another few months. It also happened to be the day before my eighteenth birthday.
I’d made reservations for us at The Sea Shanty. It had been my mother’s favourite restaurant. My father would take us there on special occasions. It was also the fanciest place I knew.
After dropping you at work that morning, I headed to the shops to buy a new shirt and some flowers.
That afternoon when we pulled into your driveway, I turned off the car. ‘Can I take you out on a date, Jem? A proper one.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes.’
We’d been a couple for almost a month and although we’d spent every day together, I’d never taken you anywhere nice.
‘Okay, I’ll run inside and change.’
‘I don’t think you understand. This is a date date. I’m taking you out to a fancy restaurant. You need to dress up.’
‘Okay,’ you said as your face lit up.
I unbuckled my seatbelt and leaned across to brush my lips against yours. ‘I’ll pick you up at seven.’
There was a huge smile on your face as I helped you out of the car. ‘I’m so excited,’ you squealed. ‘Our first official date.’
I showered and shaved before dressing in my new clothes. I wanted to look nice for you. I even snuck into my dad’s room and used his cologne.
It was just before seven when I knocked on your front door. Surprisingly, I wasn’t nervous. Like you, I was exc
ited, and eager to see you all dressed up.
Your father answered the door.
‘Come in,’ he said. ‘They’re upstairs. Christine’s been helping Jemma get ready. You know what women are like.’ I chuckled when he rolled his eyes.
‘Jemma, Braxton’s here,’ he called out from the base of the stairs.
Tingles ran the length of my spine as you made your way down the stairs a few minutes later. I can’t even put into words how beautiful you looked. The first time I’d seen you all dressed up was on your thirteenth birthday, but tonight you didn’t look like a beautiful young girl, you looked like a sexy-as-hell woman.
Your mum had curled your long brown hair and pinned one side back with a yellow flower. There was a hint of make-up on your face, which made you look so much older than your seventeen years. The sexy yellow dress hugged your body perfectly and stopped mid-thigh, accentuating your long tanned legs. My eyes slowly travelled down your body, drinking in every inch of you.
I swallowed hard before finally releasing the breath I’d been holding. ‘You can close your mouth now, son,’ your dad murmured as he stalked into the kitchen.
‘You look stunning,’ I said as you came to a stop in front of me. ‘These are for you.’ Even the flowers I bought you matched your dress.
‘I love them.’ Your face lit up as you gazed down at the bouquet, and it made my heart race. ‘They’re the most beautiful flowers I’ve ever seen.’
But those flowers didn’t hold a candle to your beauty. After bringing them to your nose and inhaling their fragrance, you leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on my lips.
As we walked towards your car, you rummaged around inside your bag.
‘Did you forget something?’
‘No, I’m just searching for a tissue so I can wipe my lipstick off. I’m dying to kiss you properly.’
Your comment made me laugh. I was starting to believe that if you could be permanently attached to my lips, you would.
‘Wow, this place looks busy.’
Once we were seated at the restaurant, I watched you as your eyes scanned our surroundings. You always did that wherever you went; you’d been doing it since we were kids.
‘Have you noticed nothing matches in here?’
I hadn’t, but it was evident that the interior designer was already burning brightly inside you, even though you had yet to make a career choice.
The waitress brought our menus over and we ordered two Cokes. ‘You should try the lobster mornay,’ I suggested. ‘My mum always ordered that. She said it was the best she’d ever had.’
‘Mmm yummy,’ you replied as you scanned the menu. ‘Ugh. It’s fifty-nine dollars. I might just stick with the fish and chips.’
‘You love lobster.’
‘I know, but it’s too expensive.’
‘This is a date, Jem, I’m paying. Order the lobster.’
‘Brax,’ you said, reaching for my hand across the table. ‘You don’t have that kind of money to throw away. What I eat isn’t important. I’d settle for a slice of bread and a glass of water, as long as you’re the one I’m dining with.’ I pulled your hand up to my mouth, placing a soft kiss on your knuckles. You always said the sweetest things, but I’d already decided that you were having the lobster whether you wanted it or not. I would have given you the world if I could.
The twentieth of December 2006. It was the following day, and also my birthday. When I walked you to the door the night before, after the best first date anyone could ask for, you had a surprise for me as well.
‘I need you to meet me out here at 5am,’ you said.
‘5am? That’s only six hours away. Why so early?’
‘Because it’s my boyfriend’s birthday, and I have a special day planned.’
It was 4.55am when I quietly closed the front door of my house, careful not to wake my dad. Your place was bathed in darkness, but I could see the light was on in your bedroom, so I knew you were awake.
I leaned up against your car and waited, all the time wondering what your plans were. Thinking back, if I’d known what you had in store for me, I would have run back into the house and barricaded all the doors. I still get a sick feeling in my stomach just thinking about it.
A few minutes later you ran out of your house and threw yourself into my arms. ‘Happy birthday!’
You tasted of mint when your lips met mine. It was the perfect way to start my birthday.
‘So, are you going to tell me where we’re going?’ I asked as you reversed out of the driveway in the darkness.
‘Nope. You’ll see when we get there.’
When you headed towards the freeway, I thought we were going to Ma and Pa’s, but then you took the on-ramp in the opposite direction.
The sun had risen by the time we neared our destination. We were in an area I’d never been before—a lot of farm land around—so I still had no clue where we were going. You put your indicator on and pulled over to the side of the road in front of a large paddock.
‘Surprise!’ you said, pointing towards the passenger-side window. I turned my head, and my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. There, lying on the grass, was a giant hot air balloon, yet to be inflated. ‘Are you excited? It’s going to be epic.’
I wanted to tell you there was no way in hell I was going up in that thing, but I just couldn’t bring myself to burst your bubble.
‘Wow,’ was all I could manage to get out. But then I turned my head to look at you, and your face was glowing. I knew you would have saved hard for this surprise. ‘It’s going to be amazing,’ I lied.
As we walked across the grassed area, I felt physically sick inside, but I tried my best not to show it.
‘You must be Jemma,’ the balloon boy said, offering his hand to you. He didn’t look much older than us, which did nothing to ease my concerns.
‘Yes, and this is Braxton, my boyfriend. It’s his birthday today.’
‘Hey,’ he said, looking at me briefly before focusing his attention back on you. The way his eyes moved down your body instantly got my back up. I’d seen plenty of guys look at you that way in the past, but that didn’t mean I had to like it.
Balloon boy started going over the do’s and don’ts, and the procedures we needed to follow in case of an in-air emergency, but the only thing I could hear was the thundering beat of my pulse in my ears.
My knuckles turned white as I gripped the side of the basket. You stood beside me leaning over the side as you watched the ground below disappear. I willed my hands to release themselves from the death grip I had on the basket, pulling you into the safety of my arms.
‘This is the best thing ever.’
I forced out a smile, but I wholeheartedly disagreed.
You glanced at balloon boy over your shoulder. ‘How high will we go?’
‘We have perfect conditions … light winds and good visibility, so we can get up to around two thousand feet if you like.’
I had issues with being a few metres off the ground, so it was a miracle I didn’t pass out, or keel over and die from heart failure.
I needed a distraction, fast. I grabbed hold of your face, crashing my lips to yours. Our mouths stayed locked together for a long time, but unfortunately not long enough. We were still in the air and climbing at an alarming rate.
‘Don’t move,’ I whispered when you tried to pull away.
‘Why?’
‘Two words: boy scout.’
You buried your face in my chest and giggled.
Turning you in my arms, my front was now pressed against your back, as I reached for the edge of the basket and held on for dear life.
I can’t put into words how relieved I felt when we finally landed. I climbed out of that basket at lightning speed before reaching for you. What I really wanted to do was get down on my hands and knees and kiss the damn ground, but that would have been a dead giveaway, so instead I grabbed hold of your face and planted a chaste kiss on your lips.
‘That wa
s amazing … simply amazing,’ you squealed, leaping into my arms. ‘I’m on such a high.’
‘Me too.’ That wasn’t a lie, I was. But my high was from being back on the ground.
‘We need to do that again someday … no actually, we need to go on a plane next.’ The excitement in your voice made me smile despite everything. ‘I’ve always wanted to fly away to some exotic beachside destination with you.’
I had no reply for that. I would have been happy to get on board a plane with you—if it just sat on the tarmac and didn’t take off.
But in my heart, I already knew we would jet off somewhere one day. Especially now that I knew it was something you had always wanted. Being with you, even if it was at thirty thousand terrifying feet in the air, was better than not being near you at all.
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to make you happy.
What we had is far too beautiful to be forgotten.
Yours always,
Braxton
I place the charms inside the envelope before sealing it. A rose to symbolise the flowers I gave her on our first date. And a hot air balloon; my birthday gift from hell.
THIRTY-ONE
Braxton
It’s Sunday, and although it’s my day off, I’m up at the crack of dawn. I’m too worked up to sleep. Jemma’s coming over today to work in the garden.
Last night we talked on the phone for almost two hours. It reminded me of old times. When I went away to university, we’d do this every night. She’d give me a blow-by-blow account of her day, and I’d tell her about mine. Although I was an hour-and-a-half’s drive from her, we didn’t miss a minute of each other’s day. It helped keep us connected. It didn’t stop me from missing her, though.
The hardest part of our conversation last night was saying goodbye, and then trying to fall asleep without her wrapped in my arms. At least there was a smile on my face as I lay there thinking about her. Until there’s reason not to, I’m going to remain positive. Every step forward is a step closer to getting her back.