by Max Walker
“I know, but it’s just hard. This is bringing back so many raw emotions. When I went to Stonewall, I was so naïve. I thought it’d be like a dumb TV show and he’d figure things out in an hour’s worth of story arc. Life’s not a TV show, though. And now not only am I involved, but I’ve dragged Beckham into it, too.”
“Okay, stop right there.” Tyra grabbed my elbows, her big brown eyes locking on mine. “Firstly, you didn’t drag anyone into it. You hired Beckham and ended up falling face-first into his open legs—that’s a win-win situation to me.”
I laughed at that. Tyra always knew how to get me to laugh, even when the world was hell-bent on getting me to cry. It was her superpower. Aside from how incredible she was with animals, she was also extremely capable of handling emotions. I’d known her since my first year at college, and ever since then, Tyra’s been a huge grounding force in my life.
“Second,” she continued, “you’re allowed to feel all those raw emotions coming back. Acknowledge them. Accept them. But don’t let them take control. There’s no need for that. You’ve got this, Olly. You’re safe and you’re surrounded by people who have your back.” She smiled a warm and genuine smile. She was right, and it helped ease some of the rising anxiety inside my chest.
Still didn’t cure it, though.
Ben Lamar walked in through the doors. He was the veterinarian who owned the clinic and was watching over us during our clerkship. “You guys good?” he asked, spotting our little powwow by the X-ray machine. A couple of dogs in the kennels started to bark as Ben walked by.
“Just having a little pep talk,” Tyra answered. She went back to her stool and sat down.
With Ben in the room, I didn’t exactly feel comfortable talking about all my problems. He was a great guy but was pretty stern when it came to his clinic and was always in work mode. Even when there weren’t any patients to take care of, he was always looking for something to keep him busy around the clinic, and in turn, us as well.
I went about my business, checking up on the couple of boarded dogs before the vet tech took them out for a walk. Thankfully the four dogs that were being boarded were here because their owners were on vacation and not because they needed to recover from any surgeries or procedures. I made sure to give some love to all four of the pups before finishing up the rest of my routine.
An hour later and I was sitting in my car outside the clinic, trying to talk some sense into myself.
“It’s okay. This isn’t a big deal. Jonah’s going to be fine with the news. He likes Beckham. Everything’s going to be fine.”
One deep breath later and I was reversing out of my parking spot and on my way to my brother’s house.
The drive there helped calm some of my nerves. The sun was still up and shining even though it was pushing close to seven thirty in the evening. The roads were miraculously empty (well, relatively empty), and the music on the radio was keeping my fingers tapping away on the steering wheel.
I got to Jonah’s place, spotting his and Fox’s cars out in the driveway. I was actually hoping Fox would be home, too, that way I could rip off the “dating your coworker” Band-Aid all at once.
The air was warm and humid as I walked up to the front door. A couple of lizards that were catching the last rays of sun scurried off the path and into the surrounding bushes. I could feel my anxiety start to climb. I had to forcefully remind myself that this was going to be okay.
I rang the doorbell and didn’t have to wait much longer for Jonah to open the door. He stood there, a bright slash of last-minute sun streaking across his chest. He was wearing a dark green shirt and khaki shorts, which was dangerously similar to the light green shirt and white shorts I had thrown on.
“Hey, twin,” Jonah said, noting the similarities as we hugged.
“Hey, Jojo.” I bounced on light feet into his living room, the nerves making my steps a little more dancey than normal. Fox was sitting on the couch, his feet up on the coffee table. He saw me and stood, smiling wide as he came over and hugged me. He was so much warmer than Jonah’s ex-girlfriend, who had been a five-alarm bitchfest through the entire four years of their relationship. I was so happy when Jonah introduced us to Fox, who matched my brother on every single level.
“Want some dinner?” Fox offered. He looked relaxed in a white T-shirt and black gym shorts. I could smell the delicious cooking from the living room, but I politely declined. My nerves had my stomach in a headlock.
“Sit,” Jonah said, taking a seat on the big yellow love seat. “How’s everything been? No more pig heads, right?”
I had told Jonah all about that night. I just neglected to tell him who I was with when it happened.
“Nothing, thankfully.”
“Is that what you said you wanted to talk to me about?”
I shook my head. “No, there’s something else I’ve gotta bring up.”
Fox started to leave for the kitchen, but I stopped him midstep. “You should be here, too.”
“Oh,” he said, surprised. He came back to the couch and sat.
“So I told you that I hired someone to look into what happened with Derrick and I… the only thing is… well, I hired Beckham.”
“Beckham? Beckham Noble? From Stonewall?”
I nodded. Swallowed. Why was this making me so nervous? I felt like I was coming out all over again, except this time I didn’t have any rainbow confetti cannons.
“Okay… but why is that such a big deal?” Jonah asked.
“Well…”
I noticed Fox’s eyebrows rise. It must have clicked into place for him. I knew my brother shouldn’t be too far behind. “That’s not exactly all of it.”
“Olly, you’re acting… you’re acting kind of weird. What’s going—” Annnd it must have hit home judging by my brother’s widening eyes. “Wait, you and Beckham… are you two together?” Only one of my brother’s brows arched.
I gave a small nod. My eyes darted to the floor, to my hands, to the window, before I forced myself to look at my big brother in the eyes. “Beckham and I are dating and… it’s going really well. Like, I’ve never felt this way with anyone before. And we met in the craziest way, too. And we’ve had the craziest adventures that I don’t think I’ll ever forget. I’m so excited for what’s ahead. I haven’t felt that in so long, Jonah. Not since I lost Derrick. Not since Derrick. Not since—”
When had I started crying? Jonah got up and immediately sat down at my side, putting an arm around my shoulders.
“It’s all right, Olly, it’s okay. Don’t cry. You’re with family.” Jonah’s voice was grounding.
Fox added his own voice. “And besides, I love that you’re with Beckham. No wonder he’s been smiling so much lately. I thought he was carrying around that London gray with him permanently, but I think you pushed all that away.”
“Yeah, Olly, I’m fully supportive of this. You deserve happiness, and it’s obvious that’s what Beckham is giving you.”
I sniffled and wiped at my nose and dried my tears. “I don’t know what came over me… I just, I guess you two were one of the biggest barriers for us. If you both didn’t approve, then we’d have some serious issues. I’m so close to both of you, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. That scared me.”
“And why wouldn’t we approve?” Fox asked.
“Because he works with you guys. Because you might have known something about him I don’t.” I took a breath, controlling the tears. “Because he’s older than me. By a lot. And that sometimes bothers people… I didn’t know if it would bother you both.”
“Oliver, does it bother you?” Jonah asked me bluntly.
“No.” There was confidence in my voice, even though emotion made it raw. “No, I don’t care. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I really don’t. I know I’ll never catch up, and I know there could be some challenges we have to face in the future, but what couple on earth doesn’t have to do the same? There’s always something to overcome, for everyone
. I’m just happy I can do it with someone I’m in love with.”
Whoa. Holy Ru Paul’s Drag Race. I said it.
It was too soon. Logically, I knew that. But since when did logic ever factor into love? I wasn’t about to run and tell him, not yet, but I wasn’t about to take it back now it had slipped. And it seemed like neither my brother or Fox were angry about it either.
“And that’s exactly what life is about,” Fox said and Jonah nodded, neither of them making a big deal of me spilling my heart out onto the coffee table in front of me. “That’s how I felt when I found Jonah, and I know I wouldn’t let anything break that connection. The same way you shouldn’t.”
“Seriously, Olly. As long as you’re happy, then so am I. It’s the same thing I’ve wanted since I was pushing away bullies for you and introducing you to eligible friends of mine. Granted, you beat me to the punch with Beckham, but I’m glad you did.” His eyes told me he wasn’t lying. He wasn’t sugarcoating or glossing over this. He was saying every word he meant, the same as Fox.
“Thank you, guys. Really. I don’t know why I was so nervous.”
Jonah went back to his spot on the love seat. “I think it’s because you already feel so connected to him. You were scared something would mess it up.”
“Yeah. I think that was it. Not that I assumed you two would have an issue or anything.”
“Don’t even stress it,” Fox said. “I can’t wait to get to Stonewall tomorrow, though. I’m gonna rib him a little bit for keeping it secret.”
I chuckled at that. “Rib him all you want, I’m sure he’ll give it right back.”
My heart was filled with a vibrant joy. It was such a contrast to the fear I’d been feeling on the lead-up to this meeting. It didn’t help that I was beginning to feel watched at every second. The paranoia only bred with the anxiety, keeping me on a constant edge.
But now, things felt like they were falling back on track. I had the full support of two people who were incredibly important in my life. I still had to introduce him to my parents, but I didn’t have doubts about how that would go. Both my parents were such open spirits, I knew they would get along just fine with Beck.
Now it was just the other bullshit we had to deal with. The life-threatening bullshit that was starting to keep me up at night.
Thankfully, every time I’d wake up in the dark room with my heart racing and pulse pounding, Beckham was there next to me, his body heat serving as a grounding force, his gentle breathing and his sleeping presence making me feel like it was all going to be okay.
19 Beckham Noble
I was buttoning up my shirt when I heard my front door opening. I hurried to the living room, catching Oliver as he came in.
“So how did it go?” I asked Oliver the second he walked in through the door. He wasn’t crying or upset which was a good sign.
“Great!” He came over and planted a sweet kiss. It was hard to control it, to not let the kiss unfold into something greater.
“Of course it went great,” I said as we separated. I matched his smile, feeling the happiness spread from him. I knew how much the idea of talking to his brother stressed Oliver out, although I had a gut feeling there wouldn’t be any issues whatsoever.
Thankfully, I was right on this one.
“I know, I know.” Oliver went over and sat on the couch. Mason came over from his cat tree and hopped up on Oliver’s lap, purring up a storm. Jar was a little slower, stretching first before sauntering over. I’d never owned a cat before, but I had to admit, I really liked those furry little guys. I wasn’t sure how much longer Oliver was planning on staying over my place, but I knew for certain that I wasn’t in any kind of rush to get him out. I was happy he felt safe with me, and I wanted him to keep feeling safe for as long as possible.
Oliver broke down what happened with Jonah and Fox, both men being just as supportive as I knew they would. Of course, part of me was just as nervous as Oliver, but I didn’t let that part show. It was a big deal, there was no denying that. We were a great match, I knew that with my entire being. From the outside, though, I also knew that our relationship could cause issues with some people. Age was a funny thing. It carried a taboo even though birthdays were something that were celebrated every year. With the gap between Oliver and me, there were going to be some people who would cling to the taboo and see nothing else. They’d miss the powerful attraction and the intense connection the two of us shared. They’d only see the years separating us and react negatively to it.
Jonah and Fox weren’t those type of people, though.
“Well, good.” I kissed Oliver again. It was difficult keeping my lips off him. With every kiss, a chain reaction went off in my body, resulting in my cock pulsing between my legs. “All right, come on and get changed,” I said, knowing there wasn’t any time to focus on the needy throb against my thigh.
“Changed? What are we… wait, why do you look so good?” Oliver looked me up and down and bit on his bottom lip, smiling.
I was standing in front of him, wearing my navy blue shirt and a pair of tight light jeans.
“And why are you smuggling some plums in there?” Oliver said, his gaze locked on my crotch.
“What, these?” I grabbed myself through the jeans. It was a handful.
“Mmm, come here.” Oliver leaned forward and grabbed my legs, pulling me back toward the couch. His face was level with my crotch. He looked up at me before rubbing his head on my bulge. He mouthed it through the jeans, almost making me forget about the big surprise I had planned for him.
Almost.
I was able to regain some sense. I stepped back, as much as I didn’t want to. I was fully hard now, the entire length of my erection on full display through the light fabric of my jeans. All I wanted to do was knot my fingers in Oliver’s hair and have him bury my face between my legs. I wanted to feel his tongue gliding everywhere as I held his head down, only letting him come up for air before pushing him back.
There would be time for that later, I had to remind myself.
“Come on, we’ll be late for the show. And I’ve got to make a stop before it.”
“Show?”
My jaw fell. “Oh bollocks, there I go ruining my surprise.” I wasn’t thinking straight considering that every drop of blood in my body had been rerouted from one head to another.
“Wait… are we going… the J.Lo show is tonight…”
My growing smile put the nail in the coffin. My surprise was done.
“Jennifer Lopez? We’re seeing Jenny from the Block? The goddess of dancing, singing, and anti-aging?”
Oliver was up on his feet. He got up so fast from the couch that Mason gave an annoyed meow and jumped off the couch, too.
“One of my clients manages her. I was able to get some VIP tickets for tonight.”
“You’re kidding! Oh shoot, okay, I need to change. Ahh!” His excitement was exactly what I wanted to see after the terribly dark week he had been put through. It had been a difficult few days, and even harder nights. Holding Oliver as he cried himself to sleep was heart-wrenching in ways I never expected to feel.
But seeing him this excited? A damn blessing.
He came to kiss me again, his excitement spilling over, mixed in with the same heat that was scrambling my brains only moments before. I throbbed, feeling even harder now that Oliver’s body was pressed against mine.
“Mhmm,” Oliver said, looking down, “someone’s getting wet.”
I followed his gaze. Sure enough, a dark stain was spreading from where my precome seeped through. Oliver ran his thumb over the slick spot, sending bolts of pleasure through me. He brought his thumb up to his lips and rubbed softly, smiling at me before he sucked on his thumb.
“I want to taste,” I said, my voice a low rumble. Oliver dropped his hand again, but this time he pulled the waistband of my briefs, exposing my leaking cock. With his other hand, he went in, grabbing my shaft in his hand and stroking. I dropped my head back, letting the ple
asure wash over me, letting him hold me in his hand. He stroked, applying a delicious pressure that matched the one I was feeling in my tightening balls.
His thumb ran over my slit as he squeezed, more precome dripping out and soaking his finger. He pulled his hand out from my briefs, his thumb glistening wet. He lifted his hand, and I opened my mouth, accepting him as he gave me his thumb, my precome coating it.
The taste wasn’t a strong one, but the effect certainly was. I sucked on Oliver’s thumb and drank my juices off him.
“All right,” Oliver said, breathless. “We should get going.”
He took back his thumb. I could still taste myself on my tongue. He gave me one last kiss before he walked around me, heading toward the bedroom where he could get ready, all the while singing a J.Lo song I’d never heard before.
If I were honest, I don’t think I’d ever listened to J.Lo much at all. Plus, I was never much of a concert lad growing up, and that didn’t get any better as I got older.
But, oddly enough, I felt more excited about tonight than I’d been about anything in a long while. I knew how much Oliver loved dancing and going to concerts, and he had mentioned how he wished he could go to this one but that being a hundred thousand dollars in debt and still not even making a salary meant that he’d have to watch YouTube videos of it afterward.
I wasn’t letting that happen.
“I’m ready!”
Oliver stood in the doorway to my bedroom and did a little cha-cha, moving his hips as if he wanted to hypnotize me all over again. He looked so good, too, wearing a pair of tight white shorts that hugged his juicy thighs just right. His shirt was white with a small V-neck, and across his chest was written “Let’s Get Loud” in colorful pink and blue graffiti letters. We were never getting out of my place if I didn’t force myself to turn around.