I end up running through the dark, stumbling towards what I hope is the parking lot where I left my car.
My legs feel hot, with the searing pain in my thighs reminding me of the day before, of the way Sean carried me all the way down the hillside.
Reminding me how much my legs rub together, even when I walk, let alone try to run.
With the wind echoing the torments of the past, all the voices of those kids who avoided me by day and then played on my fears at night after crying myself to sleep seem to loom over me from behind.
I don’t dare look back, the feeling that something terrible is behind me is too much to take.
I gasp with relief when I see my car, finally.
It’s not where I thought it would be, and I’m even more relieved to see it when I find it unlocked and the keys still inside.
Faithfully, the old bug chugs to life and I feel my hands shaking on the wheel, my voice stammering out loud as a panicked sound chatters from my freezing lips.
I don’t even know what I’m so afraid of, I just know I can’t go back, only forward. My plan to come down to the car for some clothes and then go back to Sean has failed.
I don’t know what I’m thinking by the time I feel the car starting to move forward. I have the idea that I can drive the car back toward the cottage, that way I don’t have to walk through the camp again, but the rain starts to come down so hard, so fast that I can hardly see, let alone make out which way I’m going.
In a panic, I punch the accelerator and lean forward, peering out into the sheets of white needles slashing against my car.
I’m sorry Sean…
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Sean
I can’t see if she’s alone, or if it's even really Tessa in her car as it pulls away, but there’s no other sign of her anywhere and I’m not about to sit around and wait to find out if it’s her or not.
I sprint to my truck and find my phone on the passenger seat, lit up with messages, I also notice my laptop I’ve faithfully ignored all day.
I just know it will have a ton of emails and the weather reports and warnings waiting for me when I finally do get around to opening it, but I don’t need a weatherman to tell me trouble is coming.
I don’t need a genius to tell me Tessa’s taken off either, and she’s my only focus now. The same focus that made me forget about everything else I should’ve done yesterday, but she’s the only thing I care about now. The only thing that’s important to me.
I rev the truck which throws up mud and I take off after those two, tiny pinpoints of red light which quickly blur into the distance and round the bend in the track.
I can’t see the sky through this stormy darkness, but I can feel the air. It’s getting dry and cold too and even as I drive I let the window down and can feel as well as see the wind suddenly dying down.
The calm before the real storm…
I don’t have the radar map in front of me, but my instincts tell me that we’re both moving in the right direction, away from the camp.
Did Tessa know there was a twister coming?
She might have woken me to tell me…
It’s something else. Something else has her, and when I get hold of it… I swear I’ll make it pay.
Her bug can move that’s for sure. I have to take the corners carefully with a lot of the soft edges of the track washed away already. I grip the wheel tighter, leaning forward in my seat, urging myself forward to get to Tessa, willing her to be safe. Wishing she’d just stop so I can get us both out of here.
Rounding the biggest bend in the track, I feel my stomach lurch as I see the bug’s headlights pointing up at a sickening angle. The car’s spun around and come to rest in a ditch.
Skidding to a halt, I leap from the truck, furious at myself for even letting Tess out of my sight for a second.
In a single movement I lift open the driver side door and breathe a sigh of relief. She’s there.
She’s alright. Unhurt.
She’s hysterical, but she’s not hurt.
She’s crying and whimpering something, and when I reach into the car to scoop her up she fights my hands away, but only for a second. Only until I tell her it’s me.
“Tessa!” I growl firmly, “It’s Sean, it’s me! I’m here now.”
As soon as I touch her, as soon as my arms get under her and lift her up, I feel her arms going around my neck and her sobs are muted as she presses her face into the only place she belongs. Right there in my arms.
I ask her if she’s hurt, but she looks fine. She only shakes her head, crying uncontrollably, murmuring something about the camp, about those girls.
I fear she might’ve hit her head but there’s no time to hang around. There’s an eerie dark green glow in the sky behind us, right over the camp and I know in a second that we can’t go back there.
There isn’t time. We have to get out of here before that storm cell hits.
Grabbing the bag she has on her passenger seat as I scoop her up, I bundle Tessa back to my truck, sliding her into the passenger seat and take my jacket off to cover her with it. She clings to it like a life raft, smelling it and looking up, she finally realizes where she is.
“You’re safe now, Tess. I got you… but we have to go,” I tell her, buckling her in and stopping only to plant a deep kiss on her lips as I hold her face in both my hands,
“I’m never gonna let you go again,” I tell her. And I won’t. Not ever. I swear it to myself and to her.
“I’m sorry Sean…” She whimpers. “I just got so scared… I just…”
I don’t let her finish. I can’t. None of it matters now that I have her again, we just need to keep moving.
The wind’s died down and there’s an eerie silence, with only the rain making any noise.
The faintest gray light in the east tells me it’s almost dawn, but the greenish black, inky sky to the north tells a different story,
“The storm’s easing,” Tessa observes dreamily, looking a little startled when I punch the truck into gear, driving faster than ever along the track to get us going again.
“Sean? What’s wrong…?” She asks, a tremor in her voice, “I said I was sorry.”
I shake my head, wanting to reach out to her but needing both hands on the wheel.
“It’s not that. Tess. That storm? It’s about to become a tornado and I need us to get as far away from here as possible… why’d you run baby? What made you so scared?”
I have to ask her.
Between the storm and her taking off, it’s her disappearing act that has me worried the most.
I glance over to her in the rear view, my eyes a question. She looks away, out the window and I can see her starting to shudder with tears again.
“Tess,” I say, “Tell me what happened back there… what made you run?”
She looks straight ahead, and I can see she’s summoning up the courage to tell me something. I just need to know she’s alright, that nothing back at the camp hurt her or threatened her in any way.
“It was a long time ago,” she starts to say, “And until tonight, until just before, I’d made myself forget all about it.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Tessa
I’ve never been in a tornado, and I don’t think Sean wants to share one with me either. There was one out this way years ago, I heard it on the news, but it was long before or after I’d ever been to camp here.
I enjoyed my trips up to Beaver Pines, I really did. But until tonight I’d always repressed the memories of those kids who were so cruel, so mean to me and the one time they took things too far.
It’s hard enough for me to recall it in my own mind, let alone just blurt it all out to Sean.
A lot of it’s so hazy in my mind anyway, to the point I often wonder if it really happened at all. But the reaction I had being near the place, the nightmares I still have trouble explaining. It doesn’t take Sigmund Freud to tell me I have an underlying issue with camp, even though
I have so many fond memories of it too.
Especially my Sean memories.
Especially the most recent Sean memories.
But before I can tell Sean anything, before I can even bring myself to relive that night. I have to know, why would Sean choose me?
I can tell Sean has other things on his mind, but if he wants me, if he really wants to understand me, he’ll have to accept that I’m battling with his attraction to me.
To one part of me, it just doesn’t make sense.
“Why me, Sean?” I ask, making him frown. “Why do you want to be with me, you could have any girl you want?”
“I don’t want any other girl, Tess.” He says flatly, without even thinking about it. “You’re mine now, I told you… we just… don’t you remember? Have you hit your head on something?”
He looks concerned and protective, as always. Here I am griping about having the greatest man alive wanting me because I don’t believe it. Because it really does feel like it’s too good to be true.
“What happened, Tess?” He asks me again, “Did something happen at camp? When you were younger? If it did, you could’ve come to any one of the counselors.”
Sean is driving at speed, navigating the track away from the campsite, and as soon as we hit the sealed bitumen of the highway, he reaches out and takes my hand, giving it a squeeze.
“I meant what I said, Tessa,” he reminds me, “you’re mine and only mine… remember how we felt together last night? Remember? Don’t tell me you don’t think that wasn’t real.”
“I just don’t get how you could…” I start to say, but I feel all those old emotions boiling over again.
The girls from the dorm, waking me up after lights out and dragging me to the old barn that used to be on the campsite.
“Whoever told you to be so hard on yourself was wrong, Tessa,” Sean says, squeezing my hand again and then stroking my hair as he drives.
“Now, you can tell me what happened or not, but it doesn’t change a thing. You’re my woman now, and I love you. You’re mine for keeps and I’m yours, whether you want to believe that or not. I’m not letting you go again, Tess. Not ever.”
Hearing him say he loves me, it takes away all the pain, the fear and all my self-doubt from the past. All in one go.
To hear Sean say it so clearly, so calmly and matter of fact. It’s the sweetest sound ever and all I can do is hear it echoing in my mind as I try and formulate a thought. To even begin to think where to begin again.
“D’ya hear me, Tess?” he asks, looking into my eyes as he holds my face with one hand, his voice shaking a little as he says it again.
“I love you.”
My eyes narrow at the thought of those girls, what they did. It was harmless enough I suppose, might have seemed that way to some at the time. But it scared me to death. Made me afraid of the dark, scared of storms and I sure as hell never had bacon ever again.
“What happened, Tess? Tell me,” Sean says gently, teasing it out of me like a splinter from an old wound
“One of the last times I was at camp, there was a storm… not like tonight, but a different kind of storm.”
I notice Sean ducking his head, looking up at the sky through the windshield. Dawn light’s struggling through the dark clouds, with an eerie light cast over everything, the woods on our left look like they’ve been bent sideways for good.
“I was never popular… never had friends to speak of at school. Camp was no different. The counselors were great though,” I tell him, blushing before I feel my face fall again.
It’s hardly the time to be recounting childhood traumas, but Sean’s bent on hearing it from me. It’s almost as though he wants to be able to protect me from my past as well as the present.
“There used to be an old barn near the campsite,” I continue and I hear Sean grunt in agreement.
“I had it taken down, years ago. It was a fire hazard, and apart from the-” but he stops, urging me with his eyes to continue.
“Well, you probably know too, that some kids from camp used it as a hangout long after lights out.”
Sean raises his brows and growls another low sound, breathing in through his nose, like he can tell what sort of story is coming up.
“These two girls… they used to tease me all day. But always out of earshot from anyone else, like it was their own private game. They were twins I think, they looked alike.”
I take a breath in myself. It already sounds less intimidating once I start to say it out loud, but back there, at the camp. It was like I was reliving it… like I was…
“They grabbed me one night, after everyone else was asleep. They were bigger than me, stronger and with two of them they were able to bundle me out of the dorm and down to the barn with no real effort…”
“What did they do?” Sean asks me firmly, his jaw set like stone and his hands tightening on the wheel. His knuckles white with his own anger.
“There was an old pigpen next to the barn, sort of ran into it.”
Sean nods his head, remembering it for himself, I guess.
“Well. Long story short, the girls tied something over my mouth then held me while they told me what they were going to do with me… telling me they were going to lock me in the pen with that pig… because that’s what I am… a big fat… pig.”
“Oh, Tess,” Sean says, reaching out for my hand again, but I have to look away as he takes my hand. The tears are coming again, but I want to finish telling him. I have to tell somebody, otherwise it’ll keep haunting me forever.
“They pushed me into this little box, right at the end of the stall, then they locked it… They even used a rusty old padlock they’d found. There was a hatch at the other end, and then they… Then they opened it and that pig… that huge animal came rushing in.”
I’ve never had such a clearer memory of the experience, which was terrifying.
It’s the same feeling I had back at the camp, and I realize. That the place I walked past where I started to feel so scared and all I wanted to do was run, was right near where that old barn used to be.
“I was locked in there most of the night. I was so scared I couldn’t even scream or cry out for help. The pig was huge and I thought more than once it was going to really hurt me, but it was just sniffing me.”
I feel my tears stop wanting to come. Like I’ve let a part of what happened go and I don’t feel like I need to be so affected by it anymore.
“But, they were right though… those girls. I mean… look at me. I was big then and I’m big now, no matter what I do…. I eat right and I walk all the time but I just can’t…”
“Tess, Stop it!” Sean growls, making me jump in my seat.
He checks the rear view mirror, looking at the sky behind us, and despite us needing to get away fast, he pulls over to the side of the highway and turns to face me, holding both my elbows as he speaks to me.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Sean
I know we’re trying to get away and I know Tess is upset by her memory, but I won’t have her talking like this. Not for another second.
It ends right now.
“Tessa. Listen to me,” I tell her firmly.
“What those girls did, it was wrong. It was terrible. I think I know the girls you mean too, they were a pain in the ass and everybody said butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths. They were cruel and willful. I’m sorry you had to experience any of it,” I tell her.
“But! I won’t have you telling me, or anyone else, especially yourself that you’re any of the things they said you were because you’re not.”
“You’re just saying that,” she says, turning away and I can see she’s almost starting to cry again.
“Did you run because of the memory, or did you run because you believed in what those girls said?” I ask her, knowing how I feel but wanting to understand her feelings better.
“I just don’t believe someone who looks like you could possibly want someone like me!” she blurts ou
t, her eyes blazing and her mouth twisting as she fights back tears.
It hurts me to hear Tess speak like this, and I curse those girls and everyone like them, people who leave such a permanent but unseen scar on others by the terrible things they say and do to others.
It hurts me, because it makes Tess believe it’s true and she’s only putting me in another stereotyped category, just because I work out.
Looking back at the storm cell which is coming, I know we don’t have much time to spare but I don’t want to live another minute seeing Tess so upset, thinking the crazy stuff those morons told her and worse, actually believing it.
“I love you Tess, and yes. Your body does turn me on, you’ve seen enough to know that’s true… being around you, just touching you… I can’t help it. You just have that effect on me.”
She looks down at her lap, starting to play with her fingers.
“You say that now, but what about…”
I lean over, pressing my mouth against hers, feeling both her hands come up to my face, stroking me and squeezing me.
“If anything, Tess, I should be the one who’s worried,” I tell her softly, smiling.
“Why? What do you mean?” she asks.
“Look at me!” I exclaim, “I’m so old… I must be twice your age, old enough to be your father.”
“That’s got nothing to do with it, Sean. Age is just a number.” She protests, and I know I’ve proved my point.
“And so is weight. Just a number, and that’s not what I count or think of or even consider when I look at you, Tess. I see the woman I wanted and claimed for my own. I see my woman, nothing less and nothing more.”
“I just wish I was different… thinner for you,” she continues, making me screw my face up.
“I love your body Tessa. If you were skinny or taller than me, shorter or had three heads and an extra thumb, I’d still love you. I’d still want to do this to you.” I tell her.
“Do what?”
I lean in and kiss her again. A slow, easy kiss that feels as good, if not better than the very first time I kissed her not so long ago.
Possessive Camp Counselor: An Instalove Possessive Alpha Romance (A Man Who Knows What He Wants Book 172) Page 6