by Shey Stahl
They kissed a lot, more than I cared for and said things, words I couldn’t hear.
Words that made her giggle and him smile.
I didn’t like that.
In fact, it tore at my heart, stabbed at my very being and made me doubt what I didn’t want to doubt: his promise that this was only sex.
When he would watch me, out of the corner of his eye, the visual of me fucking his best friend, again. He’d get rougher with Addison, slamming into her harder, pulling her hair or his knuckles turning white as he gripped her ass tighter.
Finally, I knew he couldn’t last much longer.
“Where do you want me to come?” he asked, eyes focused on mine but I could tell he was close by the tenseness of his face and the way his movements were erratic. “Inside her?”
I nodded, unsure what else to say.
“Fuck, I’m going to come too.” Jeb moaned, raw and out of control, and then dropped his head back against the chair and closed his eyes.
Twisting around, I watched Jeb for a moment, smiling down at him, smiling down at him, fascinated by the tiny moan of pleasure that ripped through his chest, and then turned back to Josh.
Just then, Josh moved and laid down on Addison, giving her his weight, throwing himself into his movements.
He said something to her, words groaned into the curve of her neck and she smiled, bringing his mouth to hers and kissed him deeply.
I felt that kiss in my gut, my heart aching, but then there was Jeb, kissing my neck and shoulders, whispering dirty words and telling me how good I felt on his dick, how many times he’s jerked off to the memory of us fucking. The idea thrilled me that Jeb couldn’t get enough, but then there was what was happening in front of me, a tender kiss passing between my boyfriend and Addison, a tenderness I didn’t understand. Just as quickly as it was there, it was gone and they were back to rushing and rough, pulling hair and clawing.
Jeb’s fingers worked over my clit, his cock swelling at the same time.
I didn’t know if it was watching, but the moment Josh let go with Addison, his head buried deep in her neck, driving himself into her with frantic pumping, it triggered my orgasm, and then Jeb’s.
Pushing against her, moving along the most sensitive part of her body, Addison screamed out with her need, Josh rocking into her. His thrusts were hard and strong, and his hands gripped the bed sheet beside her head. Powerful, frustrated movements that even I felt.
I finally understood his fascination with it. I was jealous, insecure, but strangely turned on by it. It was like a sexual adrenaline rush.
“ARE YOU OKAY with what happened?”
Drawing in a shaky breath, I stood with the towel around me, my skin fresh and clean from the shower. “I think I am.”
Josh set his own towel on the counter having joined me, only this time, we didn’t have sex after Jeb and Addison left and it confused me. He always wanted me to himself, so what changed?
“Did it turn you on?”
“Yes…” I admitted and then I blurted out my insecurities. “Did she…um…” I swallowed, unable to form the words and hating that I wanted to ask them in the first place.
We stared at each other in the mirror, before he turned and faced me. “Are you wondering if she’s better?”
Oh, God, it was written all over my face. My insecurities. My teenage-girl resemblance.
“I guess I am.” I felt like the smallest person alive under his stare. I wanted to know what he was thinking, if he thought I was as childish as the words felt.
“Let me ask you this…” He sighed, kissing my forehead and then my nose and my freckles. “Does Jeb get you off?”
“Well, yeah…”
He raised an eyebrow. “But do you want him more?”
“No,” I answered right away.
Searching my eyes, his brow scrunched in the middle, willing me to understand. “There’s your answer then.”
Was it?
I frowned, wondering how he spun this on me.
“You’re adorable.” Gently kissing my lips, I had other ideas and deepened the kiss. Letting go of my hands, he cupped my face with both of his hands, his palms now on my cheeks. Kissing me with a few more lingering pecks to my lower lip, he pulled away and then kissed my nose once. “Don’t ever doubt my attraction for you. It’s just different.”
Did I understand that?
IN BED THAT night, the same bed he just had sex with Addison on, I wasn’t sure if I could sleep with all the thoughts in my head about what we were doing, how I felt, how he felt, the future, all of it, but then Josh made the lowest sound right by my ear, sighing. “I love you, Logan,” he whispered, the vibration of his voice tickling me.
The words washed over me, making my lashes feel like a thousand wonderful pounds, and I closed them easily, happily keeping the words with me.
“I love you, too.” I hummed in response this time, and sleep found me before I even knew it.
That was the first time I ever told him I loved him.
And the only time.
Josh wasn’t one to throw the words around. When he said it, the words were spoken with purpose, a reasoning.
I wanted a normal life but nothing was normal about me anymore.
It was if I was a totally normal person by day, like a bank teller or something, and then by night, I worked at a local bordello house.
Not exactly but it felt that way at times.
“Did he say anything when it was over?”
“He just asked if I was okay with everything,” I told Stevie on Monday as we arranged display case for Halloween.
“And you said?” Stevie said she was somewhat depressed she didn’t go to the club with us but then cringed and said she wouldn’t have been able to do girl on girl.
“I said I was.”
“But now you’re not so sure?”
“I don’t know.” I sighed, unsure of how I wanted to explain this. “I mean, I watched my boyfriend having sex with another woman. That’s weird, right?”
“I once dated a guy who licked my armpits. Don’t talk to me about weird.”
“Very good point.”
I didn’t feel like anything I was doing was weird though. And I certainly wasn’t ashamed by it. The sex Josh and I had now was something else entirely. We went at it morning and night, never satisfying our thirst for more. So it wasn’t like we needed it to get off. It was more than that.
ON THE LAST Friday of the month, Stevie and I kept the cupcake store open after hours when the coffee shop next door did their open mic night. It was coffee house rock, nothing crazy and acoustic mostly.
That Friday night, I wasn’t surprised to see Brevin there. Stevie told me he played around town on occasions but it wasn’t something he wanted to pursue. “I think it’s just a hobby for him.”
“He’s good enough to do more with it.”
“That he is.” Steve agreed, informing me he’d been playing since high school.
From the conversations I did have with him, I knew Brevin had no plans of pursing music. He’d tell anyone that asked, “Once something becomes a job, it stops becoming a passion.”
He believed that too.
While Stevie managed to keep the store under control, I snuck away to see Brevin who was just now walking onto the small stage tucked in the back of the shop, the light low and soft. Crowds of people were gathered, all drinking coffee and wine, relaxing and enjoying their mellow night.
Taking a seat on a weathered wooden stool, Brevin propped one leg up and held his guitar across his lap, adjusting the microphone in front of him.
Staying back near the door, I tried to remain in the shadows, in fear he’d see me watching him. I wasn’t sure what his reaction would be seeing me there, or what mine would be.
I hadn’t seen Brevin in at least a month but the moment I did, I realized I felt something for him. The way my heart stopped and then started again and the way my tummy tickled. It was all indications of my body’s
reaction to this brooding boy with a voice that sent shivers through anyone.
Low and croaky sounding, he began to sing, a slow rhythm on the guitar and thumping the edge of it like he was playing a drum.
Brevin Chase was one of the sexiest men I had ever seen. Just breathing the same air as him made you feel seductive. It was always the quiet brooding ones that captured the very essence of sex appeal. And with a guitar in hand, well, he sealed the deal for many.
Even me in some ways. I would be lying if I didn’t say I silently wondered if Brevin would be open to having someone watch him have sex. The thoughts were there before I could stop them.
What the hell have I become?
Whistles broke out when he made his way to the chorus, his voice echoing through the room, bouncing off the walls and the hearts of every girl in there.
I thought, no, I hoped he would play another classic, but he surprised me when he did an acoustic version of “Say You Love Me” by Jessie Ware.
The way he poured himself into every lyric made me believe music could never be a job for him. Not with that kind of power. There was so much pain in his voice it was hard to think someone of his age could carry around that much heartache. Someone had done a number on him at one time or another.
When the song ended, the small crowd cheered for him as he stood immediately and headed to the shadows around the corner of the stage.
Same place I was.
I think he was a little shocked to see me there, his eyes wide.
Neither one of us said a word.
Swallowing, I tried to speak, say something, but the words wouldn’t slip passed my lips.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, breaking the silence.
I didn’t have words for him. Still.
“I uh…I just came by to see how it was going. I didn’t know you would be here.”
The way he watched me made me feel like he was trying to see my soul. Maybe he was. Before I could say anything, the moment passed and Brevin was pulled aside by another man, wanting to talk to him.
Making my way back to the shop, Stevie was outside locking the doors. “What took you so long?”
“I—” I spotted Brevin again, his hands buried deep in his pockets as if he was uncertain what to say.
Stevie looked to me, and then Brevin, like she knew she should probably leave. But she didn’t.
“I remember you,” she said to Brevin, leaning into the side of the building and watching him like she wanted to bit his lips. She probably did.
Brevin grinned at her but said nothing, his stare shifting from her, to me, and then the pavement at our feet.
“We went to the same high school. You had a scholarship to University of Washington, right?”
Brevin nodded. “Yep.”
Holy crap, we went to the same college. That’s…kinda cool.
“I thought for sure you would have played in the minors,” Stevie noted, digging through her bag trying to find her keys in the mess of crap she kept in there.
“I dropped out.”
Stevie and I both looked to him for an explanation but I didn’t think he wanted to give one.
“Why?” I finally asked, speaking for the first time.
Brevin shrugged. “Boring.”
No way was that the reason. He was hiding something but it wasn’t my position to press the issue right then.
The man who’d been talking to Brevin in the coffee shop appeared. “You ready, kid?”
Brevin turned around, giving the man who stood tall, dark eyes that matched Brevin’s. “Yeah.”
And then he left without saying another word.
“He’s weird,” Stevie said, shaking her head. “He’s always been a little strange.” We both watched him as he sunk down into the seat of a Jaguar. “Sexy has hell, but different.”
He was different, but it was refreshing.
I LEFT AFTER that and went home. Josh was out of town so I intended to log onto Adult Friend Finder to check it out. I guess in some ways going to the club had me interested to explore this some more.
Addison and Josh both encouraged me to load some pictures a few days ago, so I did, yet I hadn’t been back on to check. I guess in fear, as soon as I loaded them, I logged off.
As the home screen appeared, I noticed users had responded to the photographs.
The bright red bell at the top lit up with the notification of an instant message. So I clicked on it, my hand practically shaking as I moved the curser over the bell.
Beaslut4me: Hey, baby.
That was all it said.
Fuck…what do I do? Talk to them, Logan. That’s how this works.
Addison and Josh both explained to me numerous times how the site worked and what they did. Addison had also said she had a few regulars on the site that she had sex with online, because that was what they were into and Jeb loved it.
Cutiewitbootie: Hey
Beaslut4me: Thanks for the photo. Your pussy glistens.
I nearly burst out laughing, my hand covering my mouth as I typed with one hand.
Cutiewitbootie: I didn’t know it glistened. Sparkly pussy diamonds?
Beaslut4me: Lol. Sure. But I think I’d like a closer look to verify it.
Cutiewitbootie: Play your game right and you might.
Fuck, look at you, Logan. Oh, my God, I was totally getting into this now.
Beaslut4me: What kind of games do we get to play?
Cutiewitbootie: What kind do you like?
Beaslut4me: I enjoy games that are bareback, ass, role play and even water play.
Water play? What the fuck was that? Like in the shower?
Cutiewitbootie: What’s water play?
Beaslut4me: The really kinky kind – peeing and such.
Peeing? Was he serious?
Cutiewitbootie: Nope. Not happening.
Beaslut4me: Lol. It’s not for everyone. What about you? What are you into?
He was serious. Sick bastard. Who the hell liked to be peed on?
Cutiewitbootie: I like sucking cock. Rough sex, my hair pulled…
Beaslut4me: Do you swallow?
Cutiewitbootie: Yes, I swallow.
Beaslut4me: Anal?
Would I let them do anal on me? I guess it wouldn’t be so bad, would it?
Cutiewitbootie: Yeah…
Beaslut4me: So I see you’re attached, your bf, does he always watch or can I have you one on one?
Cutiewitbootie: He always watches.
Beaslut4me: Is it like a cuckhold thing?
Cutiewitbootie: Kinda, he just watches me with others. And films us.
Beaslut4me: Do you do bareback?
Jesus, he’s from one topic to the next.
Cutiewitbootie: No. Condoms only.
Beaslut4me: God, I really need to fuck your hot ass and shoot my big load in you.
Cutiewitbootie: Sounds possible?
Wait…shit…I typed a question mark.
Crap.
Beaslut4me: How do you feel about being tied up?
Cutiewitbootie: I’m not opposed to it at all. Just nothing too crazy.
Beaslut4me: So if I tie you to the headboard, you’re okay with that?
Cutiewitbootie: Yep.
Beaslut4me: When can we meet?
Cutiewitbootie: I’ll talk to my bf. We require proof that you’ve been tested and you’re clean.
Beaslut4me: I have proof. I was tested last month.
Cutiewitbootie: Okay, bring that with you.
Was this really that easy?
The messages seemed to be coming in like crazy after I posted the picture of me, careful not to have my face showing, but my entire naked body. It took so much for me to do that but the last thing I wanted was someone to see me and think, well, that’s not the girl I wanted.
The site automatically sent you notifications of men in your area based on your personal profile and matched you up. Most of them didn’t catch my eye but there was one I kept going back to, unable to c
lick away from the profile. Wakes22.
His profile picture was blank and I wouldn’t have clicked on him had I not seen he was from Olympia. It made me curious. He was a twenty-four-year-old male.
The one thing I hated about the site was if you viewed someone’s profile, it sent them a notification. Imagine if Facebook did that shit. I’d surely be in jail for stalking half the boys I went to college with and their beautiful wives.
And I know I wasn’t the only one. Stevie would have been right there with me.
So I clicked on his profile and then messaged him. Blame the wine by the computer, or maybe just my fascination with this, but I was curious. If I was going to do this, I’d be spontaneous and open to whatever there was.
Including randomly messaging.
Cutiewitbootie: Hey!
Amazingly enough, he responded. Like right away and my heart about pounded its way right out of my chest.
Wakes22: I should be the one saying hey. You’re hot, honey.
Cutiewitbootie: I’d say the same, but you don’t have any pictures.
Wakes22: Sorry. You’re profile says you’re in a relationship. You steppin’ out on your man?
Okay, so no on the pictures. Hmmm. Hopefully he wasn’t a fifty-year-old man with an armpit-licking fetish.
Cutiewitbootie: I am in a relationship but he knows about this. My bf likes to watch me fuck other guys.
Wakes22: So like threesomes?
Cutiewitbootie: No, he doesn’t join in.
Wakes22: Interesting.
Cutiewitbootie: Yeah. Is there anything you want to know about me?
Wakes22: You messaged me…
Cutiewitbootie: Right. Sorry.
Wakes22: I’m just playing. Lighten up, cutiewitbootie. Let’s see if that bootie matches the name.
He wanted another picture. So I sent him a bootie shot. Bare ass bootie.
Wakes22: Yep. Got me going.
I laughed out loud.
Wakes22 and I continued our conversation a little longer before I heard Josh pull up and told the guy I had to be going.
Wakes22: I’d say sweet dreams, but I think I’ll be the one having them.
Cutiewitbootie: Mmm. Send me pics.
He didn’t and the green light clicked off his name.