by Leslie North
Jasper made quiet engine noises and crashed two cars into one another.
Charlie stuck his hands in his pockets and tried to ignore the inferno at the back of his neck. There was no ticking clock in the room, but he heard one as clearly as if it was dangling next to his ears. He had to do something before her boss came back.
He went with stepping closer to the table and dropping his voice. “I…think it would be best if we kept our past to ourselves,” Charlie said quickly, loathing every word that came out of his mouth. Stephanie was as gorgeous as the first day he’d seen her. More beautiful, if that was possible. He could lose himself in the fine curve of her lips for hours.
He’d done it before.
“Oh, I agree,” said Stephanie. “I don’t want anyone to know what happened.” The decisive firmness in her voice stung like a swarm of wasps at the center of his chest. Her dark eyes flicked up to his. “So we’ll pretend it never happened for the duration of this project.”
“Right.” He nodded toward her binder. “Shall we get started, then?”
“Sure.” Stephanie pushed the binder across the table to him.
Charlie took a seat across from her, vowing to keep up the act.
But he knew it was going to be impossible.
2
Stephanie’s face ached from smiling, but she forced herself to continue. The college student who sat on the sofa in Stephanie’s short-term rental wasn’t at fault for how badly things had gone off the rails the last two days. Allen was the one to blame. Stephanie and Jasper were supposed to be ensconced in an all-inclusive resort in Florida for the week—one that featured a dinosaur-themed day camp for the kids. It was going to be her first real vacation since Jasper had been born. With Jasper booked into the day camp, she was going to be able to lay out poolside. Who knew? Maybe she’d even meet a man.
Instead, she was breathing in the heavy perfume of the apartment and interviewing babysitters and fretting about the acquisition. The vacation—that was one thing. But if the acquisition didn’t go well, then she was out of a job.
It was easier, honestly, to be pissed about the vacation than fret about being laid off.
“We could have a lot of fun,” the latest one said. She had her hair twisted up into two buns on the top of her head and wore overalls decorated with painted handprints. “Do you like music?” She—Jewel or Jasmine, something like that—pulled a kazoo from her pocket and blew it.
Jasper tucked himself more firmly into Stephanie’s side. She rubbed his back and stood up.
“Thanks for coming by,” she said, shaking the woman’s hand. “We’ll be in touch.”
Stephanie saw her to the door, Jasper trailing behind. Stephanie closed the door behind Jewel and looked down at Jasper. His big brown eyes pleaded with hers.
“She was weird,” he said, and bit his lip.
“We’ll find someone else,” she promised, running her palm over his hair. He had gotten so big, but her heart still tugged at the sight of his dark curls. The previous summer had highlighted his hair with streaks of gold that reminded her uncomfortably of Charlie Preston.
He was the reason she was so out of sorts. She’d dreaded the meeting from the second Allen told her he needed her on the trip to the second she’d stepped into the meeting room. She’d dreaded having to face him. And now she dreaded not facing him in a way that made her skin feel too small.
Between Allen and Charlie, she was missing her vacation and having trouble keeping the blush from her cheeks.
It was awful, how attractive he was. Stephanie had chalked up their one-night stand to the heady excitement of being at her first-ever conference, but no—Charlie really was that hot. His perfectly tousled blond hair and golden-brown eyes had nearly taken her out at the knees. Again.
She needed to stop thinking about that conference. For good.
“We’ll check…” The knock at the door behind her cut her off. Stephanie cocked her head to the side. “Go play with your trucks, Jasper. I’ll see who it is.”
He scampered off toward the living room and Stephanie held her breath as he swung close to one of the side tables stacked with figurines. Allen had chosen the rental for her because it had two bedrooms. It was also brimming with fragile knickknacks, and there was nowhere to hide them all away. It was so great.
She faced the door resolutely. She didn’t have any more interviews scheduled, but… “Who is it?” she called, feeling like an idiot.
“It’s me,” came the answer, and her heart flip-flopped in her chest. “Charlie Preston.”
She opened the door, pretending not to be breathless.
Charlie stood in the hall, a sheepish expression on his stupidly gorgeous face. “Hi,” he said. “I brought some dinner. I wanted to apologize.”
“For the dinner?” she joked. “If it’s that bad, maybe you should have brought desert.”
He laughed, a delicious smile curving the corners of his lips. “No, for the way I handled things earlier. It was unprofessional, diving right into…what happened.” He met her eyes, and there it was—that weak-in-the-knees feeling. “Could we talk?”
Stephanie’s stomach rumbled. “If we can eat first, we can talk.”
“Deal.”
Footsteps sped across the apartment behind her, and Jasper jumped into place by her side as she stood back to let Charlie in. “I remember you,” said Jasper. “From Mommy’s work.”
“That’s right,” said Charlie. “I’m going to be working with your mom.”
“Look at this.” Jasper thrust a toy sailboat in Charlie’s direction. “It’s my favorite one. This one could win any race.”
Charlie’s eyes lit up. “Yeah? Is there enough room for a great crew?”
Jasper rolled his eyes. “Yeah. It’s a Catalina. Don’t you know? Come on. I have other boats.”
Charlie shot a look at Stephanie, asking her permission to go farther in, and she gave him a bewildered nod. Jasper had sat through five nanny interviews without connecting like this. With anyone.
Jasper led Charlie into the living room, where he had more boats and trucks lined up in a neat row. A notebook lay on the floor nearby, its pages open to display Jasper’s latest story. His spelling wasn’t all there, but Stephanie wasn’t going to tell him so. Charlie peered at the notebook. “Do you like to write?”
“I like things that go, and I like writing stories.” Jasper sat down and pushed a truck across the floor toward the notebook. “I’ll make books when I grow up.”
Stephanie took the bag of takeout from Charlie. Chinese food. It smelled wonderful. “I’ll plate some of this up,” she said, and went into the kitchen.
From the pass-through window, she watched Charlie sit down on the sofa, carrying on an easy conversation with Jasper. He leaned down and drove one of the boats. Then, when Jasper abandoned the toys, he looked at his notebook. Jasper looked up at him often, waiting to see his reactions, and Stephanie’s heart melted.
She couldn’t afford to get hung up on Charlie—not again. But wow, was he good with Jasper.
Stephanie brought the plates out to the table and the three of them sat down together. “So,” she said, after they’d had a few bites, “do you have kids of your own?” Her pulse thudded in her ears. If he did, if he was married…well, it wouldn’t be her place to be jealous.
“No,” he said, a note of caution in his tone. “I have a nephew. My older brother’s son.”
She could feel Jasper watching her. “You guys were really getting along great.”
He glanced across the table at Jasper, and Stephanie saw it then—the suspicion in his eyes. “I wanted to make sure you have everything you need while you’re here.” There was a strange note in Charlie’s voice, and Stephanie felt the air around them tighten and pull. His words rang with a double meaning, like he knew.
“The takeout did make tonight easier,” Stephanie admitted. “But other than that, we’re good. I have things under control.”
“Do you li
ke trucks?” asked Jasper, his eyes glued to Charlie’s face. “The Raptor is my favorite.”
“I do.” Charlie didn’t miss a beat. “I liked them a lot when I was younger, too. I kept some of my old toy trucks.” His eyes scanned Jasper’s face, searching. Now that they were sitting across the table from one another, Stephanie could see it so clearly—the same slim nose and the shape of her son’s eyes…
She kept the conversation casual, asking Charlie about the company, about Napa…anything to ease the tension in her chest.
Jasper tore through his food, finishing first. Charlie noticed and stood up. “I should be going,” he said.
“No.” Jasper ran around the table and took his hand. “Stay and play with me. Just for a few minutes. Okay?”
Charlie looked at Stephanie.
“It’s okay. You can stay.”
He stayed until Jasper was tucked into bed in the guest bedroom, snoring softly.
Stephanie went back out to the living room, where Charlie sat on the sofa, elbows balancing on his knees. She took a seat across from him in an overstuffed chair and took a deep breath. It was too much, keeping the secret with Charlie right there. But how was she going to say it? How was she—
“He’s mine, isn’t he? The math—” He waved a hand in the air. “I did the math.”
Charlie’s voice was soft, but pain burst through his eyes like a firework. “Yes,” she said. Relief came over her like a warm wave. He knew part of it now.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I tried.” Something deep in her chest cracked, tearing open all over again in an old, dull ache. “I didn’t have your number. The first person I could reach was your mother, and she…” Stephanie swallowed hard against the knife edge of the old wound. “She made it clear you wanted nothing to do with the situation. She offered me some money to go away. I didn’t take it.”
Charlie’s jaw worked, bright color rising to his cheeks. “You—you’ll have to excuse me.” He got up, shoulders rigid, and stalked into the kitchen, his phone in his hand. Stephanie’s pulse threatened to drown out every other sound in the apartment, but still she heard Charlie’s pointed, “Is it true?”
When he came out a few minutes later, his face was pale and set. He sat heavily onto the sofa and rubbed a big palm over his eyes, then looked her in the eye. “Where were we?”
“I decided it would be best to go on alone.”
Charlie considered this. “Why didn’t you take the money?”
“I didn’t want to have anything to do with a family that wanted nothing to do with me. Even if it would have made things easier.” And it would have. So much easier. But she’d made it through without.
“I hope you know…” He balled his hands into fists on his lap. Released them. Folded them together. “That wasn’t the decision I would have made. I hope there’s a way I can make up for it. Or at least try to make up for it.”
No, said a voice in the back of her mind. There was no way he could make up for the lost years. And men like Charlie, who jumped into action without quite understanding what they were doing, did more harm than good. He’d made his own office a little hellscape of plastic toys in the space of five minutes. All that despite the fact that she’d brought things to keep Jasper quietly entertained for the day. But he hadn’t asked Stephanie. What was he going to decide to do now?
And yet…
She’d wanted him to be part of his son’s life. She’d tried to make that happen years before. She could hardly breathe.
Stephanie forced air into her lungs and let it out, slow and controlled. “We’re in town for a week or two,” she hedged. “Maybe we could spend some time together while we’re here. You could get to know Jasper.”
Pain tempered with hope flashed through Charlie’s chocolate eyes. “Thank you.” His voice was choked, strained. He cleared his throat. “I’ll plan activities for the three of us. And we should talk.”
A louder warning sounded in her mind. “Don’t go overboard.” Judging by the toys, he seemed like the type to over-plan. Would he even know what kinds of activities to arrange? He had a nephew, but that didn’t make Charlie an expert. “I’m perfectly capable of planning our time here.”
“I don’t doubt it. I don’t doubt you’re capable of doing everything. Clearly, since you have done everything.”
“Why do I hear a but at the end of that sentence?”
“More of an and.”
“And?”
It made her dizzy, how fast this was happening. A single day, and her biggest secret was out in the world.
“And I could help you so much more. I could give you so much more.” Anger clouded his expression. “I would have all along, if I’d known.”
It crashed over her again, the weight of the responsibility she’d carried all these years. “I haven’t always…” Stephanie sifted through the words in her mind, sorting them carefully. “I haven’t always been able to give Jasper everything he wanted. Finances haven’t always been easy. But I want you to understand something.”
Charlie sat up straight.
“I’m not here to ask you for money.” The old ferocity that had kept her going during all of Jasper’s sleepless newborn nights came raging back. “I’m willing to have the discussion with you. I’ll spend some time with you. I thought…I thought you gave up on your chance to be a father. I see that it wasn’t your choice. But I haven’t decided whether to trust you.”
Charlie looked her straight in the eye. “I’m not the same man I was when you met me.”
“I hope not.” He had been charming—so charming—and a force of nature. And he’d never tried to find her. Why had he never tried to find her? It was too many questions for one evening. “Well, Charlie…” She folded her own hands together and regarded the father of her child. “Now’s your chance to prove yourself.”
3
Charlie faced down the stack of binders, a single flash drive perched on top. In the space of a day, it had become more than an audit, more than a project—Charlie felt like everything in the world was riding on this.
“It’s up to me, then,” Charlie said. Everything he said seemed to hold so many layers of meaning. And with Jasper writing in a notebook at their feet, it was painfully obvious what those layers were.
“Yes.” Stephanie crossed her arms over her chest. “We can expect Allen to be gone most days, but you can let me know if you need anything from him or anyone else on our team.”
No wonder she’d seemed so irritated the day before. Before he’d left her apartment, Stephanie had filled Charlie in. She’d been set to go on vacation. They were already packed when Allen had called, demanding that she travel with him. It didn’t matter that she’d waited five years for the Florida trip. Losing her job wasn’t an option, so here they were.
It wasn’t going to be easy to get through all these materials when they were down a man and up one five-year-old.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to get in contact with a nanny agency?” He kept his tone light and casual. “My brother’s wife, Penny, might even know someone local, and I’m sure—”
“No.” Stepanie’s tone was clipped and sure. “Jasper’s not fond of going with strangers, and he didn’t connect with anybody we met last night.” She cut a glance at him. “Besides, the sooner we get started, the sooner we’ll get done. I might not need a babysitter after all.”
“All right.” He plucked the flash drive from the top of the pile and took it to his desk. “I’ll dive in here.”
“I’ll be right nearby.” Stephanie sat resolutely at the meeting table and pulled out one of the binders. “There’s a report for each department, but I doubt they’re as organized as they could be.”
It took all of ten minutes to realize that whoever had compiled the documents for each department hadn’t had much interest in putting them in a reasonable order. Or even an understandable one.
“Oh, man,” Charlie said softly. He met her eyes over Jasper�
�s head. “This is a mess.”
She shook her head. “The guy who does the books can be…idiosyncratic.”
It was going to take forever to understand the shape the business was in.
“I know you wanted to get to your vacation,” Charlie said, “but I think we might need to find a babysitter after all.”
Stephanie’s face fell, but only for an instant. She lifted her chin. “I’ll put out another ad. Maybe the tenth time is the charm.”
Charlie’s heart went out to her so powerfully it was like it had flown right out of his chest. “Or you could move in with me.”
It had been on his mind all night. He’d twisted and turned, thinking of Jasper in the apartment filled with glass and ceramic waiting to break. He’d thrown off his covers at the thought of Stephanie being so close, but so far away. She’d told him how nobody had been a good fit for the babysitting position. Two days ago, he might have told her to choose the best of the available unsatisfactory options so they could get to work. Now he wanted the absolute best for Jasper. Whiplash. All of this was giving him whiplash.
Stephanie stared at him, her mouth open. “What did you say?”
Charlie tapped his fingers on the surface of his desk. “I have more space than I need. My place—it has a separate guest suite with two bedrooms and a bathroom you wouldn’t have to share.”
Stephanie laughed out loud. “You just invited me to move in with you, and you think the bathroom is the first thing on my mind?”
“I think bathrooms are usually a high priority,” he said, and she laughed again. The sound lit up his core.
“No,” Stephanie said. “We are not moving in together.”
“You didn’t let me finish.”
She waved a hand in the air. “Finish, then.”
“You could move into my guest suite, and my housekeeper Sarah could care for Jasper. I’m sure she would welcome the work.” And it has nothing to do with the way I feel when I look at you. Charlie had the distinct sensation of holding his hand too close to a fire. At the same time, she pulled him in with her heat, just like she had at the conference.