My grin smooths out as I stare at her, and her eyes pinch slightly as she studies me, but she keeps going, “My grandpa was like you. Happy and fun, the peacekeeper between others. Kinda like you are with your parents.”
I swallow, the tightness in my chest easing a bit.
“You’re dedicated and eager, confident but in a respectful way. And you get me.” She laughs, and I raise a blond brow in question. “You’re like the epitome of the guy you bring home to mama—or maybe it’s daddy since I’m a girl.”
“They always say little girls grow up to marry men like their daddies.” I grin, and she laughs.
“You’re an idiot.”
“So, what you’re saying is, I’m perfect?”
“Yeah, Parker”—she chuckles, smiling down at me—“you kinda are.”
I nod, a sloppy smile on my face. “I knew you loved me.”
She busts up, laughing, but she sees it, how much I needed to hear her words tonight. She might not understand why, but she doesn’t need a reason.
When I continue to stare, unable to pull my eyes away, she grins.
“What?”
A soft smile forms on my lips, my eyes taking her in. They lower, following the shape of her body, and slowly rise back to meet hers.
“I can’t believe I didn’t notice when you opened the door. You look amazing, Lolli Bear,” I whisper, and worry lines take over her face. “Your eyes, they’re really blue tonight.”
“It’s the dress,” she responds quickly, trying to read me. “The contrast and shit.”
I chuckle at that, my hand coming up to trace the line of her left eyebrow. “Nah, it’s you.” I give a small smile. “You’re here right now, Lolli. All of you.”
“I don’t understand.” She places her palm on the hand that’s splayed across my stomach.
“You told me what you saw in my eyes. Well, I see things in yours, too. They always have a shadow, a little something in them, hiding a part of you.” My hand lifts from under hers, coming back down to cover it. “But it’s gone tonight. Your eyes … they’re big and bright and beautiful.” My eyes skim over her one more time. “You’re beautiful. And you’re happy,” I say, my face pinching slightly. “Right? You’re happy?”
She nods, searching my face to try to figure out what’s wrong. She sees the pain and confusion but can’t figure out why.
I chuckle again, scrubbing my hands down my face. “I’m kind of drunk, Lolli Bear.” My head drops with a sigh. “I’m sorry. I should go.”
“You don’t have to. You can stay if you want.”
I hop off the bed and make my way to the door. I turn back to her with a fake smile. “Come on, Lolli. Look at you.” I gesture toward her body. “You, in that dress?” I playfully arch a brow. “You and I both know how tonight will end for you.” I wave and open the door, revealing Nate on the other side.
Nate’s head snaps up, his hand frozen midair, as if he was about to reach for the handle. His eyes narrow, and he looks from me to his key card to the number on the door and then back.
His stare shifts to Lolli and then slices back to me, narrowing in a way that tells me my being in here with her is not something he’s okay with. He’s pissed and with reason.
His girl is looking all kinds of beautiful and alone with another dude in a room that was meant as theirs.
“Hey, man.” I nod, pulling the door open wider.
“What’s up?” Nate’s feet widen. Nothing I say will make this all right in his eyes. I get that.
“Just came by to hang with Lolli for a bit. I’m down the hall.” I jerk my head to the left. “Room eleven.”
“This is Room fifty-four.” Nate’s stare sharpens even more.
I scoff and shoulder past him. Okay, so down the hall and around the corner maybe but so fucking what. He can be pissy all he wants, I’m not up for this shit right now. The alcohol is wearing off, and shit’s coming back to the forefront of my mind. I need to get back to my room and knock out before I do something stupid and track Kenra down before she’s gone again, assuming she isn’t already.
“I’m aware, man. Like I said”—I give Nate a hard look he doesn’t deserve—“I came by to hang with Lolli.” I turn to look at her, my features relaxing instantly. “Night, Lolli.”
I stumble a few feet down the hall, and she calls out, “Hero!”
I turn, grin in place, but the facade doesn’t work on her. She sees it. The emptiness I can’t fill tonight, and her brows dip.
“You okay?”
I swallow and force a nod, waving as I walk away.
I shouldn’t have come here tonight. There’s too much going on in my mind, and I can’t think straight.
I make it back to my room and lie in the bed, alone as always.
I’m drowning. It’s as if a tightrope’s around my neck and feet, pulling me to the deepest part of the ocean, and I wouldn’t be able to break free if I tried. Not that I would try.
I wish a wave would come and sweep me under because I can’t take much more of this.
I knew being near Parker would be hard, but I never imagined it would feel this way. Like the weight of the water is crashing against my chest, pushing me down while forcing me still. My lungs burn, and my eyes sting. I didn’t know it would feel as if I were dying inside because I’d thought I already did.
I’m a porcelain doll, put together with special care and precision, but with the slightest push, I’ll shatter.
Most days, I wait for that moment to come, beg for the final bow so I can say I tried, but in the end it was too much.
I want to fall but only if I never have to get up again.
On the days I think I will, the nights I cut a little deeper, Parker’s face appears, and my lungs open instantly. Those blue eyes of his breathe the life back into me.
And all I do is steal the life from his. But I can’t stop. I’m not strong enough to walk away on my own. Not with Kellan’s threats, not with the fallout Parker will have to live with. Because not only am I weak, but I’m also selfish when it comes to time with him.
I should leave and never look back, but I can’t. Being near Parker makes everything better. I don’t even have to be touching him. Just knowing he’s around brings a peace I can’t find anywhere else.
I gave up the possibility of something good the minute I let Kellan take control of my life.
Leaving with Parker tomorrow would be a really bad idea, but my being here already is.
We’ll both hurt more in the end. He knows it just as I do.
I should leave.
But, instead, at 4:59 a.m., I’m standing in the dark, waiting at the side of his truck before he’s even reached it.
The smile that brightens his face when he spots me is more than I deserve, but I take it.
Just like always, I take everything he offers, giving nothing in return.
He sees the turmoil in my eyes and steps close.
“Don’t worry,” he whispers into the dark morning, and I breathe in his words.
“Be happy.”
She came. She’s here, with me, in my truck.
I never would have thought she’d come, but I’m damn glad she did.
Kenra needs to remember what living feels like. So, that’s my goal for the next two days. I’m gonna have fun with this beautiful girl, see her smile wide, and hear her laugh loud. I wanna watch her dance along the street and talk to a stranger. All the things the wide-eyed, lively girl she used to be would have done.
I want to remind her who she is.
I want my Kenra back.
“How much farther do we have?” she rasps through her sleepy voice as she shifts to sit up.
“Morning, sunshine.” I shoot her a quick wink, and she tries to hide her grin but even in my peripheral, I caught it. “We’re almost there, about a half hour out.”
She nods and stares straight, fixing her little cardigan.
“So, when we get there, I figured we’d check in at the hotel and
then get some food. I have a meeting at lunchtime that you’re more than welcome to come to. I’d actually prefer it if you did. It should be only about an hour. Then, tonight, you pick where for dinner. Tomorrow though … I get to plan.”
When I smile at her, she stares, her hand resting on the back of the seat. “Tomorrow is the Fourth of July.”
I nod. “It is. And me and you? We’re gonna have a good one.”
It takes a few glances, but eventually, she smiles back.
“Will there be fireworks?”
“Fireworks, flip-flops, that bay breeze. All of it.”
“This is crazy,” she whispers slowly. “You know that?”
I shrug, not wanting to stop and think about it. “Nothing feels crazy when it’s with you, Kens. We’ve done this a hundred times. We’ll just have a better view here.”
“Nate hasn’t called yet.”
I nod. I already thought the same thing. “That means Lolli’s talked to him.”
Kenra turns her head away. “What do you think she said?”
“Depends on what he asked. If he asked a direct question, Lolli gave him the answer she knows. If he asked something along the lines of why you’d leave with me, she probably answered with, Because she wanted to.” I laugh lightly, smiling wider when a small chuckle leaves Kens as well. “We’re gonna have fun, Kens. I promise.”
“I know we will … that’s what I’m afraid of.”
I swallow back the pained sigh threatening to escape and reach for her hand. “Never be afraid of what you feel when you’re with me. I’ve got you.”
“Always,” she whispers.
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from saying something that would do neither of us any good at the moment.
An hour later, we’re all checked in and stepping into what will be our room for the next two nights. Kenra steps into the bathroom to freshen up, so I take a minute to gather my thoughts. Yes, I had the entire drive here to process her coming with me, but being here, knowing, at the end of the night, it’ll just be her and me, is damn close to torture.
I want to go all in, like Lolli suggested, but that might push the wrong buttons at the start. I’ve gotta take Kenra back, make her remember who we are when we’re together—just a couple of kids enjoying each other’s company. Find that innocence that was us before we suddenly felt more.
“Would it be all right if we maybe walked around and grabbed something light as we go since you have lunch in a few hours?”
I glance at her over my shoulder. “Course we can. Whatever you want.”
She offers a small smile before disappearing into the bathroom once again.
I shake my limbs out and pull on a pair of nice jeans and a T-shirt. The meeting is unofficial and simply a meet-and-greet type of thing. And Al told me to dress like myself, so I am.
Kenra walks out in a pair of white jeans and a loose-fitting black sweater, with her hair lying in tempting waves over her shoulder, making me wish I could run my fingers through it freely. “Ready?”
I clear my throat and glance away. “Ready.”
We decide to walk a while, and she quietly takes in the buildings surrounding us. It only takes a few short blocks for her arms to uncross and her stiff movements to turn into welcoming sways.
“I’ve never been here before.”
I grin her way. “I remember, one night when you came over, it was just after you got your research paper from Ms. Weir. You remember?”
Her mouth opens slightly, and for a moment, her feet pause, but she laughs lightly. “I remember,” she whispers.
“You’d spent weeks working on it. For hours and hours, we’d researched any and all things of the Asian culture.”
“And that old hag gave me a D! A damn D!” she says in surprise, and I laugh. “I was shocked.”
“And what did she say?”
“She said, ‘Ms. Monroe, Wikipedia is not a place to gather your facts from.’ Not once, Parker, did I read a single sentence off there!”
“Uh-huh.” I grin, and she pouts a bit. “And, when you came over that night, what did you tell me you’d do?”
Her mouth pops open to answer, but slowly, she closes it as a memory flashes in her mind.
She burst through my front door that day, not bothering to knock, and tossed her paper on me from behind the couch. She narrowed her eyes and placed her hands on her little hips as she demanded I take her to China, all so she could feel better about her hard work. Of course, I laughed and agreed to take her anywhere in the world.
After an hour of junk food, we settle on Chinatown in good old San Francisco.
Her eyes grow soft as she exhales. “You’re taking me to Chinatown?”
“Tomorrow.”
Tears brim her eyes, so she glances away. “I’d really like that, Parker.”
I smile, grabbing her hand and kissing her knuckles. “I knew you would. Now, come on. We have a city to see.”
We walk and talk around Haight Street. I laugh every time her nose scrunches at the different smells the city brings. She looks my way, shock on her pretty little face, before she starts laughing with me.
We skip the food and grab a quick smoothie instead. And, by the end of the road, she is walking right beside me, her arm brushing mine with every step we take.
As we wait for the light to change, her eyes dance along the daisy-covered grass across the street, shifting to the group of teenagers when they start to laugh. She stands there for a moment, watching as they skate, grinding the curbs of the abandoned parking lot, and her lips twitch slightly.
When I step closer, her eyes fly to mine, a deep crease instantly forming in the center of her brow. I sweep her hair from her forehead, hating how much I love the way her eyes close the moment the pad of my thumb brushes across the skin of her temple.
“We need to head over to my meeting now,” I whisper, trying to take my hand off her but failing to actually do it. “Will you come with me?”
She slowly steps back, and my hand drops to my side. “I don’t want to be in the way.”
“You could never be in the way.”
She inhales while nodding. “Okay, sure.”
When I smile wide, a laugh leaves her, and she lifts her hand to push on my chest. I catch it and quickly spin her once before winking and checking in for an Uber, who happens to be just down the street. They’re everywhere in the city.
We hop into the little Toyota, greet the driver, and then sit back.
“So, who are you meeting today?” Kenra asks. “Are these people Lolli works with?”
“Nah, this is the other owner. Lolli’s grandpa was a fifty percent owner of the Tomahawks, but the other fifty is split between two other investors—fifteen to some big investment banker who likes to remain anonymous, and the other thirty-five to a man from overseas, getting ready to pass the torch to his grandkid. That’s who will be there today.”
“Isn’t it crazy to be involved in all this? I mean, you haven’t even started school yet.”
“Actually, the person I’m meeting today is in the same boat as me, just starting off, so it’s been nice to have someone to chat through things with. And I’ve shadowed Al since I’ve gotten here, sat in on industry meetings. I hardly know shit, but I’m learning. I spend a lot of time going over the business plans, noting things that I don’t understand or want more insight on, and then Al and I go over it, sometimes even Lolli. I’ve got years ahead of me, but I feel like I’m off to a great start, and I’m included in everything. I wasn’t so sure about it at first, but Lolli wanted it this way. She wants me in the know as much as possible. Her only rule is, if I get burned out, I tell her and pull back immediately. Truth is, I love everything about it so far. It gives me …” I glance at Kenra, who stares at me. “It makes me feel like I’m doing something that matters. It’s good for me.”
She smiles lightly, trying to hide the longing that softens her features by clearing her throat. “I’m glad.”
Bef
ore I can respond, the Uber driver pulls up in front of our hotel, and we step out.
“Your meeting is here?” She looks confused.
“Yep. In the hotel restaurant. I thought it would be easier for us.”
She nods lightly, tilting her head back to follow the length of the twenty-six-story building. “Since we’re here, maybe I’ll go up and—”
“Hello again, Mr. Baylor,” comes from my left.
I turn to find Dani Dameron stepping from her service car.
With a smile, I tip my chin, and she grins, making her way over. “Ms. Dameron, great to see you again.”
My eyes rake over the beautiful brunette woman as she steps closer to us. Her smile is wide, her eyes bright and alive. She’s not dressed for a meeting, donned in a pair of tight blue jeans and a low-cut royal-blue blouse that matches her eyes, her tan, toned arms on display.
She’s exquisite.
“What did I tell you? Please, just Dani.”
“Then, I’m just Parker,” he teases.
She laughs, her hand finding his forearm.
My chest constricts at the sight, but I manage to keep my smile in place as Parker steps back, placing his hand on my back. He pulls me forward, and the woman glances my way, a slight crease at the sides of her eyes.
“Dani, this is my Kenra.”
When her eyes fly to his, my cheeks grow warm.
Parker either doesn’t realize what he said or doesn’t care to correct himself. Either way, the woman caught it, and she can’t hide her curiosity.
“Kenra”—she reaches a hand out for me to shake—“it’s great to meet you.”
I shake her hand, returning her sentiment because her words feel genuine.
“I have the corner table reserved if we’re ready to head inside?”
The woman briefly glances at me before giving Parker a smile. “Absolutely. Lead the way.”
Parker nods and leads us inside the building and into the little restaurant, ROH.
Defenseless Hearts (A Tender Hearts Novel Book 2) Page 10