How does he make it so easy to trust him like this?
I clean up, and fix my clothes and hair. My face is a little flushed, but luckily my olive skin hides it reasonably well. Once I feel presentable, I come out and find Ronan standing next to his desk, fully dressed, adjusting the cuffs of his sleeves. He gives me a lazy smile and comes over to slide his hands around my waist.
“That’s a good way to start the week,” he says.
My brow furrows with concern and my eyes flick to the still-closed door.
“Don’t worry,” he says. “Sarah isn’t here yet. And people are going to find out eventually.”
“It’s one thing to find out we’re together,” I say. “Quite another to hear you fucking me in your office.”
He kisses me again. “No one heard anything. It’s going to be fine.”
I let myself relax a little. I ought to at least enjoy the post-sex glow. I can almost still feel him inside me.
“Okay,” I say.
He gives me a wicked smile, his hand sliding around to squeeze my ass. “Now get back to work.”
“You too, boss man.”
He smiles again and goes back to his desk. I unlock the door and open it, glancing out. Relief washes over me at the sight of Sarah’s empty desk. I take another cleansing breath and go back to my office, hoping what I just did isn’t written all over my face.
19: Ronan
After a fucked up day of bad news—delays and roadblocks for both dev teams—I leave the office without talking to Selene. I’m in a shit mood and I don’t want to subject her to it. I send her a quick text so she doesn’t think I’m blowing her off like a total asshole, and go home for a much needed drink.
Sitting alone in my condo, clutching a glass of bourbon, I wonder if I made the right call. I’m wound up as tight as a fucking spring. Maybe spending the evening with Selene would have helped me relax. I’ve been working too much lately, but nurturing the right relationships to get this contract is a full time job in and of itself. Add to that running two separate companies, and making subtle changes that will allow me to integrate some of the research and development people—without pissing them off and making everyone quit—and it’s no wonder I feel like hell.
The bourbon goes down easy, sliding down my throat with a pleasant burn.
My phone rings. It’s Damon. I decide to answer, hoping he’s not calling to give me shit about not seeing our parents.
“Hey,” I say.
“Hey,” Damon says. “How’s Seattle?”
“Good. Definitely the right call.” For so many reasons.
“Glad to hear that,” he says. “Talked to Mom and Dad lately?”
“Is that why you called?” I ask, not bothering to hide the annoyance in my voice.
“No, man,” Damon says. “It was just a question. I’m not trying to guilt trip you. Have another drink or something.”
“What’s up, then?” I ask.
“I’m going to be up your way soon,” he says. “Just thought I’d give you a heads up, see if you wanted to get together while I’m in town.”
That actually isn’t a terrible idea. I wouldn’t mind seeing Damon. He knows how to piss me off, but he’s a good guy. “Sure, just keep me posted.”
“Great,” he says. “So, jumped off any bridges or whatever recently?”
“No, not lately,” I say. Aside from rock climbing in Denver, I haven’t done any of my usual sports in a while. It’s odd, but I don’t have the all-too-familiar itch, the craving for soaring through the air.
“Too busy with the ladies?” Damon says with a laugh.
“Not ladies,” I say. “Just one.”
“One? You’re kidding.”
“Not in the least,” I say.
“You mean one this week, right?” Damon asks.
“Fuck off,” I say with a laugh.
“Seriously, though, do you mean you have an actual girlfriend?” he asks.
“Yes, I guess that’s what I mean.”
“Holy shit.”
I’m kind of irritated at Damon’s reaction, but I suppose it’s warranted. It’s been years since I’ve been with a woman and called her my girlfriend. Not since college. Not since Chelsea.
She’s the last person I want to think about, so I take another swig of bourbon. “Is that all, Damon?”
“Yeah, I’ll text you when I have travel plans,” he says.
“All right, talk to you later,” I say and hang up.
I finish the rest of my drink. What I need is a day off. I’ve been working my ass off without much of a break. I get an idea and send a text to Sarah.
Anything on my schedule I can’t blow off tomorrow?
I wait a few minutes for her reply. No, I can move stuff. You ok?
Fine. Won’t be in tomorrow.
I bring up Selene’s number and hit send.
“Hi,” she says when she answers.
Just hearing her voice starts to uncoil the tension in my back. “Hi, gorgeous. Sorry I left the office without saying goodbye.”
“It’s all right,” she says. “I’m still here, actually.”
I glance at the time. It’s nine fifteen. “What are you doing at the office?
“Having dinner with Justin from Sales,” she says.
She delivers the line totally deadpan, and for a second, I wonder if she’s serious. “Excuse me?”
“I’m working, obviously,” she says with a laugh.
Now I’m even more sure my idea is the right thing. She needs a break as much as I do. “Pack it in and come over. Bring something casual to wear tomorrow. You’re taking the day off.”
“What?”
“You heard me,” I say.
“I can’t take tomorrow off,” she says. “I have way too much to do.”
“I’m your boss, and I’m telling you that you’re taking tomorrow off.”
She’s quiet for a moment. I think she’s trying to decide whether or not to argue with me.
“Selene,” I say, my tone serious. “I’ll call building security and make sure they escort you out if you try to get in the building tomorrow. You’re banned from the office for the next twenty-four hours.”
“You won’t call security,” she says.
“No?” I say. “Show up at work tomorrow and test me.”
She sighs. “Okay, if I’m not working tomorrow, what am I doing?”
“I don’t think I’m going to tell you yet.”
“Come on, Ronan,” she says. “If I don’t know what I’m doing, how will I know what clothes to wear?”
“Pretend it’s a weekend,” I say. “Pants, not a skirt or dress. Although I do love the access a dress gives me.”
“Ronan.”
I laugh. “Bring a coat in case it’s cold.”
“Anything else?”
“Just get that hot ass over here,” I say. “There are some things I’d really like to do to you tonight.”
***
We wake up early and grab breakfast on the way out of town. I still haven’t told her what we’re doing. I like keeping her in suspense. She asks questions as we drive down the freeway, trying to get me to let something slip, but I just smile at her. Eventually we settle into a comfortable silence. I put my hand on her thigh, and she lays hers on top of mine. There’s something soothing about the low hum of tires on the road, my hand touching her. Normally I’d be feeling the first pings of adrenaline, knowing where we’re going. But I’m calm, my mind completely clear. I’m excited for what I have planned, but the deep need I typically feel isn’t there.
I’m not flying down the freeway in a hurry to get to my destination, itching for the high I know is coming. I’m sated. Relaxed. Alive.
I glance over at Selene, wondering how she has this kind of magic over me. It’s not just the sex, although I could fuck that woman every day for the rest of my life and never get tired of her.
That thought comes out of nowhere, hitting me like a train. Goddamn, I really
could. Usually, I’m all about the chase. I love it when a woman is a challenge, or when there’s a hint of danger in being with her. My statistics professor senior year at Stanford. The daughter of the CEO at my first job after college. Women I work with. Women who don’t want to give me the time of day, until I convince them otherwise. I go after them, loving every minute of the prowl. Once I have them, though, the excitement wears off pretty quickly. A few weeks. A couple months. There’s a reason my brother was surprised to hear me call Selene my girlfriend. That implies a level of commitment I don’t usually bother with.
But not only do I not want to share Selene with anyone else, my interest in her isn’t fading. If anything, the more time I spend with her the more I want her around.
And yes, it scares the fuck out of me. Genuinely scared, and I don’t do fear. Maybe that’s what this is—the intrigue of the fear. Maybe that’s what keeps driving me to be with her. To see her again. To spend my nights with her. To walk by her office just so I can get a glimpse of her. I’m driven by the strangeness of the fear, just like I’m usually driven by the thrill of the chase.
That must be it, because the only other explanation is something I’m not ready to contemplate.
We drive down a long road through empty fields, and the airstrip comes into view.
“Ronan,” Selene says, her voice betraying her anxiety, “what are we doing here?”
I grin at her. “Have you guessed yet?”
I find a parking space and we both get out. Selene stares up at the huge hangar, at the words Skydive Kapowsin in big red and blue letters.
“I am not jumping out of a perfectly good airplane,” she says.
I walk around the car and take her hands. “Yes, you are.”
“No,” she says, shaking her head. “No way.”
I put my fingers through her hair at the base of her neck. “Selene, you’re going to do this. Trust me.”
Her eyes lock with mine. “Okay,” she says. “I trust you.”
Suddenly the fear is so strong I almost get back in the car. She does trust me. She’s trusted me with her body in more ways than I expected—letting me touch her, hold her, pin her down, control her. I’ve tried to remain true to that trust and never hurt her, never push her past her limits.
But right now, she’s not just trusting me with her body. She’s trusting me with her life. And for a moment I’m not sure I want that responsibility.
Then I’m flooded with satisfaction, like the verbal confirmation of her trust was something I desperately needed. I kiss her, my fear melting in the face of my excitement.
“You don’t have anything to worry about,” I say. “I’ve done this hundreds of times. We’ll do a tandem jump. That means we’ll be harnessed together and I’ll have control of the chute. I’ll keep you safe.”
She bites her lower lip and smiles. I lead her inside and talk to Sam, the owner. I already made the arrangements for our jump. Normally they only let their own instructors do tandem jumps, but I have more than enough experience and the necessary certifications to make it legal.
They take Selene through the customary training session. It’s not long—with a tandem jump, there’s a lot less for a beginner to learn. We both get suited up and head out to the airstrip. Selene grips my hand as we walk toward the twin engine aircraft. She’s dressed in a bright blue skydiving suit with the harness that will attach her to me. I feel the weight of the gear on my back and adjust the straps on my shoulders. My heart starts to pump as we get in the plane. A tandem jump seems tame after some of the things I’ve done over the last couple years, but sharing it with Selene brings a whole new element to the experience.
The plane takes off and Selene keeps a death grip on my arm. The jump coordinator goes over some last-minute instructions and helps us get the harness connected. We get up to jump altitude. He double- and triple-checks everything and then opens the door.
Selene twists her head around. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
I put my arms around her and plant a kiss on her cheek. “Yes, you can. I’ve got you.”
We move toward the open door, Selene strapped in front of me. I have to push her forward, but I’m not letting her change her mind now. The wind rushes past, almost deafening. I adjust my goggles and take a deep breath, feeling the adrenaline pumping through my veins. Fuck, I love this shit.
“Ready?” I yell above the noise. I put my hand on her forehead and tilt her head back against my shoulder so her neck doesn’t jerk when we hit the air. “Let’s do this.”
Then I grab the bar and hoist us out.
Suddenly we’re falling, plummeting through the air. We accelerate, and I deploy the drogue chute. It’s small, and doesn’t slow us down; it’s there to ensure proper deployment of the main canopy.
I hear Selene’s voice, flying past me on the wind. I spread my arms and legs wide, keeping Selene steady beneath me. We slice through the air and it feels thick, like water. My lungs burn a little, and the heady excitement sends a flood of euphoria through my mind. My entire body is teeming with vitality, tingling from my scalp to my toes.
The freefall is over too quickly, but I won’t take chances with Selene’s safety. I deploy the main canopy and there’s a jerk, as though we’re suddenly being pulled upward. Our descent slows as the chute billows out above us, and we go from horizontal to vertical, our legs dangling in the open air.
I pull the lead on one side and guide us toward the landing zone. Freefalling is my favorite part, but even the slower ride down is a rush. Everything looks tiny below us, but grows quickly as we get closer. The wind roars past, loud in my ears, and it feels like we’re floating. I tug on the lines to steer us in the right direction, reveling in the feel of flying through the air.
The descent is about five minutes, but it feels much longer. Time seems to slow, and the weight of the world is nothing while I’m out here in the chill air, gliding toward the ground. I reach around to give Selene a thumbs up. She throws her arms up in the air, leaning her head back against me, and shouts into the wind. Her enjoyment pulses through me and I wish we didn’t have an hour’s drive to get back to my place. I’m so fucking turned on.
The ground gets closer and I ready myself for the landing. “Pick up your legs,” I shout and adjust so we’re straight. My feet hit the ground and I take a quick step forward. Selene hollers again as we hit the dirt. The chute drops behind us, pulling us down, and we fall backward onto the ground.
The staff is there to help with the gear, and I unfasten Selene from the harness. We get to our feet and she turns to me, throwing her arms around my neck.
“Oh my god, I can’t believe I just did that,” she says, her voice trembling.
I slide my hand to the back of her neck and kiss her mouth. “What did you think?”
“That’s one of the most amazing things I’ve ever done,” she says.
I can’t keep the wide smile off my face. I feel so free, so alive. Selene’s eyes sparkle and she laughs, giddy as a little kid.
“Now are you glad I made you do it?”
“Yes,” she says, looking deep into my eyes. “I’m glad about everything.”
20: Selene
My phone lights up, and I take a deep breath before answering. It’s Kylie. I shouldn’t be nervous to talk to my best friend, but I know she’s going to give me an earful about Ronan. I’m probably a wimp for telling her over the phone instead of in person, but I just want to get it over with.
“Hey, Ky.”
“Hey, babe,” she says. “Got your message. What’s up?”
Might as well get right to the point. “I have a confession.”
“You’re sleeping with Ronan, aren’t you?”
I open my mouth but nothing coherent comes out right away. “How did you know?”
“What?” she asks, her voice almost a squeal. “I was kidding! You are?”
I groan and cover my eyes with my hand. “Yes.”
“Hold on a second her
e, Ms. Taylor,” she says. “Do you mean you slept with him, as in it happened once? Or you are sleeping with him, as in this is now a regular occurrence.”
“The second one.”
“Oh my god,” she says.
I take a deep breath. “I know. He’s my boss. He blew me off once before. I know you’re going to think I’m crazy, or stupid, but this isn’t like that. Yes, when he first showed up at my office, he probably just wanted to get in my pants. But I feel like there’s something more. A lot more, Ky.”
“I don’t think you’re stupid,” she says. “Crazy remains to be seen. But, really? So it’s official now? Dating, the whole thing?”
“Yeah,” I say. “We’re … together.”
“All right,” Kylie says. “So do we get to meet him again soon? The night of your birthday thing wasn’t exactly the best introduction.”
“Yeah, I want you guys to meet him,” I say. “But you have to make Braxton behave.”
“Since when do you think I can make Braxton do anything?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “Promise him something kinky if he’s nice to Ronan.”
Kylie laughs. “That might actually work.”
“Gross, now I’m getting a mental picture.”
“You said it, not me,” she says. “So, you’re sure about this?”
“Honestly?” I say. “Not really. This could turn out to be a huge mistake. But he’s kind of amazing.”
“Wow,” she says, her voice soft. “Okay, babe, I’ll trust you on this. Just be careful.”
“I know, Ky,” I say. “I will.”
***
I look down at the long list of unanswered emails. I’m still playing catch up after our impromptu skydiving trip last week. Every time I think about how it felt to jump out of that plane, I get a renewed rush of exhilaration. I never would have done something like that on my own. My mind was racing with excuses the entire time, but it was incredible. The whole world was stretched out below us, tiny and insignificant. And when we jumped—oh my god. It was fun and terrifying and thrilling all at once.
Always Will: A Bad Boy Romance Page 12