“You know they wouldn’t mind,” Hannah had argued, but it was a losing battle. He’d made an appointment for this afternoon with a real estate agent. She wasn’t entirely sure why she found that so upsetting. Maybe because it was a reminder that he was moving on with his life, while she was still in this self-imposed limbo, not quite ready to go back to her life in New York, not willing to embrace a new one here.
“Hey there, you busy?” the man in question asked from the doorway to the office.
“Not too busy to see you,” she said, smiling at him. “I thought you were going to look at houses.”
“I am. I thought you might want to come along.”
“Why?”
He grinned at the question. “Because I value your opinion,” he responded. “Because I want someplace that might entice you to consider sharing it.”
His words and the allure of that prospect warmed her, even as she steeled herself against wanting it too much. Nothing had changed. She still had the prospect of a cancer recurrence looming over her, and with her next checkup just a few weeks away—the week after Kelsey’s wedding, in fact—it was on her mind constantly.
“Come on, Hannah. Come with me,” he said. “It’ll be fun, and you can save me from buying the first place the agent shows me.”
Since she knew how anxious he was to get this decision behind him, she understood the likelihood that he might do just that. “Okay, but only to save you from yourself.”
“Thank you,” he said solemnly, even though his eyes were twinkling at having won. “Have you had lunch? Want to grab something on the way?”
The truth was, she hadn’t eaten all day, but the thought of food made her feel a little queasy. “I’m not hungry, but if you are, we can stop.”
He studied her with a frown. “You skipped breakfast. Grandma Jenny mentioned it. Are you feeling okay?”
“Just a little off,” she admitted. “Probably a touch of flu or something. Or maybe that fish we had for dinner last night.”
“Maybe I should cancel the appointment and take you over to the clinic to get checked out.”
“Don’t be silly. You’re a doctor. If I keel over, who better to be with me?” She forced a cheery note into her voice. “Let’s go find you the perfect house.”
“Okay,” he said with obvious reluctance. “But if you’re not feeling better by tomorrow, you are coming to the clinic.”
“Fine, whatever.”
He gave her a wry look. “You sound like Gracie, when she’s patronizing me.”
Hannah laughed. “Or Kelsey when she’s patronizing me. Thanks for calling me on that. Should I rephrase?”
“Nope, just be at the clinic first thing tomorrow if you’re not feeling a hundred percent.”
“Thanks for worrying about me,” she said with more sincerity.
“Just part of the package,” he assured her. “Love, honor, cherish and worry.”
“Luke,” she protested.
“I’m going to keep reminding you of how I feel, Hannah,” he said stubbornly. “Maybe one of these days you’ll finally believe me.”
“I do believe you,” she told him. Why couldn’t he see that that wasn’t the point? It was cancer that stood between them and she honestly couldn’t see that ever changing. Even after the checkups dwindled to once a year, there would always be the tiny, nagging fear of a recurrence. She knew firsthand what that could do to loved ones, the toll it would take. She wouldn’t do that to Luke or his children and that was final. Saying no was an act of kindness. Someday he’d understand that.
He cupped her chin with his hand and met her gaze. “If you do believe me, then you should also understand that if the worst happens, I will still grieve for you. The only thing you will have accomplished is to rob of us of the happiness we might have had. Promise me you’ll think about that, Hannah.”
With his words echoing in her head and his gaze locked with hers, all she could do was nod.
23
Luke didn’t like the way Hannah had looked earlier. The whole time they’d been going through houses, he’d been paying more attention to her than their surroundings. Her color wasn’t good and she seemed a little shaky. Then, again, she hadn’t eaten all day.
“Luke, did you see the size of the yard out back?” Hannah said, snapping him back to the task at hand. “It goes right to the inlet and there’s a dock. You could have a boat. The kids would love it.”
“And the house probably floods every time there’s a storm, much less a hurricane,” he said, barely sparing a glance at the yard. “I’ve seen enough for today. Let’s get out of here.”
“But there are three more I wanted you to see,” Sallie Bryce protested.
“Another day,” he said firmly. “Hannah and I have somewhere we need to be.”
Hannah regarded him blankly. “We do?”
“We do,” he confirmed, steering her out of the house and into the car. “We’ll talk tomorrow, Sallie.”
“I’ll look forward to it,” the agent responded with forced perkiness.
Hannah frowned at him. “What is wrong with you? Why are you suddenly in such a hurry?”
“Because I have a craving for a late lunch. I never should have skipped it. How about you? Are you hungry yet?”
“Not really.”
“Well, you can eat some conch chowder or something,” he said, driving straight for The Fish Tale. If that didn’t bring her color back, he was heading straight for the clinic next. He didn’t know what was going on with her, but he intended to get to the bottom of it. For all he knew, she could be pregnant and trying to hide it from him. Something told him, though, that it was more likely that she was worrying herself sick about the cancer and trying to hide that.
At the restaurant, before Hannah had a chance to argue, he gave Jack their orders and led the way to a booth.
“You’re awfully bossy this afternoon,” she commented.
“Lack of food,” he told her.
“That’ll teach me to always make sure you’re well fed. I had no idea that hunger made you so cranky and autocratic.” She took a sip of the iced tea he’d ordered for her, then broke off a chunk of bread and chewed it, her expression thoughtful. “So, did you like any of the houses we saw today? You didn’t really seem to be paying much attention.”
“Nothing knocked my socks off. How about you?”
“I liked the last one,” she said. “Let’s face it, anything on Seaview is at risk in a hurricane, but this was solid enough to have withstood quite a few storms over the years. The view and yard were amazing. The kitchen’s been updated. So has the master bathroom. It’s basically in move-in condition.” She pulled a piece of paper from her purse and began making notes. “You’d have to paint, of course. Fix the screens on the back porch.”
To Luke’s relief, as she made her case, the color in her cheeks improved. When Jack set the bowl of chowder in front of her, she began eating almost without noticing what she was doing. Instead, she continued her enthusiastic recitation of all the positives about the house, jotting a note whenever she thought of a drawback.
“You liked it that much?” he asked finally. “I didn’t notice half that stuff.”
“Which is why you brought me along,” she said dryly. “Men! What do any of you ever do without us?”
“Live in hovels?” he suggested, not entirely in jest. He would have been content for years in the little starter house he and Lisa had bought in Atlanta, if she hadn’t forced him into that showplace she insisted they needed. Was that when their marriage had started to unravel? On some level had he realized then how different they were? Or had there simply been so much room, it had become easier to avoid each other while still under the same roof?
“Hovels?” Hannah repeated. “More than likely.” She tucked the notepad back into her purse. “I’ll type all this up for you back at the inn. Then you should probably take another look at the house and pay attention this time. These problem areas will give you a
stronger bargaining position when you put in an offer.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said with a grin, relieved to see her spunk returning. “And since you’re obviously feeling a bit feistier than you were earlier, mind if I ask you something?”
“What?”
“Have you made any decision about seeing your father? Every time I’ve brought it up before, you’ve changed the subject. I have no idea how you’re feeling about him right now.”
“Neither do I,” she admitted. “I’ve been avoiding it. Planning the wedding has given me the perfect excuse not to think about him at all.”
Luke knew he was treading into dangerous territory, so he chose his words carefully. “A wedding might be the perfect way to heal old wounds.”
“No,” she said fiercely. “I won’t drag that drama into the middle of Kelsey’s wedding and risk ruining it for her.”
“Slow down. I wasn’t suggesting that you see your dad for the first time at the wedding,” he explained. “I thought maybe you could meet, try to work through a few things. That would make the wedding even more of a celebration, if your dad were there to see his granddaughter walk down the aisle.”
“I don’t know,” Hannah said, her skepticism plain. “It could be a disaster.”
“If you two talk and things go badly, then you certainly don’t have to invite him.”
She met Luke’s gaze. “You think I should see him, don’t you? And include him in the wedding.”
“As long as you’re still down here, I think you should take advantage of his proximity, yes, at least to meet with him.”
“But why?”
“Because I don’t think you’ll ever be truly happy until you put the past behind you once and for all,” he said. “I’m not saying you have to embrace him and make him a part of your life now, just see him and put old issues to rest. If you can reconcile, great. If not, I think you’ll be able to make peace with that, too, but only if you’ve seen him and talked.”
“Do you think that’s possible? Can you honestly say you’ve done that with Lisa and Brad?”
“Lisa and I are getting there,” he said. “Each visit’s been a little easier. Brad’s another story, but I imagine I’ll make peace with him eventually. We’ll never be friends again, but hopefully we can be civil.”
“Okay,” she said.
He blinked at her quick acquiescence. “What exactly are you agreeing to?”
“Call my father. Set something up. I want you to plan it and I want you there. As for inviting him to the wedding, we’ll have to see how this meeting goes. I’m still struggling to accept the fact that Kelsey wants her father at the wedding. Dealing with both of them may be more than I can handle.”
“I understand,” he said. “Are you sure you want me there for this meeting with your dad?”
She nodded. “I need you there to remind me that I’ve had a life all these years without him, that it doesn’t really matter how things turn out.”
“Okay. I’ll set it up. When?”
“Soon, before I change my mind. I have to go to the mainland tomorrow to see the caterer about the wedding. That appointment is at ten. We can see him afterward.”
“What about your half brother?”
She shook her head. “One step at a time, okay?”
“The first one’s always the hardest,” he said. “But I’ll be right there.”
Tomorrow—and forever—if she’d let him.
Hannah had fought with the caterer over every little thing. Even as the curt words had left her mouth, she’d known that her irritation had nothing to do with the menu. It had everything to do with this upcoming lunch she was having with her father. With every minute that passed, she was sorrier that she’d agreed to do this. She had enough on her plate with the wedding and all the other decisions looming on the horizon. Lately, she’d been feeling a little off, too, though she had no idea why. Probably stress over the wedding and the cancer screening looming on the horizon just after the wedding.
“How did my father sound when you suggested this?” she asked Luke, twisting the scarf she’d worn on the ferry earlier into a knot.
“As nervous as you are,” Luke said, resting his hand atop hers for a moment. “But he also seemed very eager to see you.”
“He probably won’t come,” Hannah murmured to herself. “I wouldn’t, if I were him.”
“He’ll be here,” Luke said, turning into the parking lot of the restaurant they’d agreed on. “In fact, there he is, waiting right by the door.”
Hannah turned quickly and, indeed, there he was, looking years older, yet much the same as she’d remembered. Her heart climbed into her throat and her eyes filled with tears. “He came,” she whispered, not quite believing it, not quite believing how relieved she was to see him.
“You hop out and join him. I’ll park the car,” Luke suggested. “It will give you a minute alone together.”
Hannah hesitated. “I almost feel as if you should be there to introduce us.” She forced a wobbly smile. “Crazy, huh?”
“Understandable. Now, go. He’s seen us.”
Hannah exited the car slowly. She took one step in her father’s direction, and then something inside her broke free and she was running toward him. “Daddy,” she whispered, launching herself at him as she had when she was younger.
He caught her and held her in a fierce hug, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. “Oh, Hannah Banana, I never thought I’d live to see this day,” he told her, his voice choked.
“Me, neither.”
“I’m so glad you came. I was afraid you’d change your mind,” he admitted.
“Me, too.”
He took a step back. “Let me get a good look at you,” he said. “You look like your mother, Hannah. You’re as beautiful as she was.”
“No, I’m not.”
He smiled at that. “I imagine Luke agrees with me, don’t you, young man?” he said as Luke joined them.
“I do, indeed,” Luke said. “Shall we go inside?”
“I asked for a quiet table when I made the reservation,” her father said. “I thought we might want a little privacy.” He studied Hannah again, as if not quite daring to believe she was real. “I also have Clay on standby, in case you change your mind about meeting him today. He’ll join us for dessert if you want. He’s very excited about meeting you.”
“I want to meet him, too,” Hannah said, overwhelmed by the speed with which things were happening. “But give me a few minutes to decide, okay? All this is happening so fast. There’s so much for me to absorb.”
“Of course.”
After they were seated in an alcove off to one side, she told Luke to order something for her and then faced her father. His face was lined now, but there was still the remembered warmth and humor in his eyes. His hair was gray, but he wore it in the same neatly trimmed style. Despite all the years they’d been separated, she would have recognized him anywhere. He was still the man she’d once loved with all her heart.
And she was still angry with him.
As if he sensed that, his expression was somber and his gaze steady as he met hers. “Where shall I begin?”
“Just tell me why it happened,” she said, then challenged, “Why did you choose them over us?”
“There’s not a good answer to that,” he admitted. “I suppose I thought they needed me more. Your mother was a very strong woman and you two were surrounded by people who loved you. Lucy, that’s her name, she had none of that.” He glanced at Luke. “I imagine Luke told you that she had some mental health issues back then. I worried about how she’d care for Clay. I had no worries on that score with your mother and grandparents. I knew you were in the best possible hands.”
Hannah was about to ask why he’d strayed in the first place, why he’d gotten another woman pregnant, but that offense hadn’t been committed against her. It was between her father and mother. Besides, it didn’t really matter now. It was over and done. She needed to leave i
t in the past where it belonged.
“Did you ever regret it? Did you miss me? And Mom, did you miss her?”
“Of course, but life goes on, Hannah. You’re old enough to know that. You can’t let the past cripple you. If you do, then you’re destroying the present and the future. What good is there in that?”
“Mom died,” she told him. “Did you know that?”
He nodded. “It was in the paper. I almost called your grandmother then, and you, but I decided it wasn’t the right time. I wasn’t sure there would ever be a right time.”
“I have a daughter,” she told him, pulling a picture of Kelsey from her purse to show him. “She’s getting married soon.”
He studied it closely, his eyes misty. “It’s like looking at a picture of the way you must have looked at that age,” he said. “She’s lovely. I am so sorry I missed all those years with you.”
“She’s helping Gran run the inn,” Hannah said, surprised by how proud she was of that. “And she’s having a baby. You’ll be a great-grandfather soon.”
“Oh, my. I’m not sure I’m ready for that. I can’t be that old.”
“I’m still getting used to the prospect of someone calling me Grandma,” Hannah admitted.
He started to hand back the picture, but Hannah shook her head. “You keep it, if you want to.”
“Of course I want to.”
She glanced toward Luke questioningly, knowing he’d understand what she was thinking. “Should I?”
“Up to you,” he murmured.
She’d thought about including her father in the wedding, and suddenly she couldn’t think of a single reason not to. His presence wouldn’t create the scene she’d worried about. She could count on Grandma Jenny to be polite, whatever her feelings might be. If there was a scene, it was far more likely to be between her and her ex-husband.
“Dad…” She drew in a deep breath, then asked, “Will you come to the wedding?”
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