by Bree Porter
I didn’t know why I was avoiding him exactly. Sometimes I thought it was because I was scared of him punishing me for being rude, whereas other times I couldn’t stand the idea of being pulled apart by him.
I looked down at the spotting and sighed.
When I came back to the kitchen, Beatrice and Elena gave me curious looks.
“Are you feeling better?” Beatrice asked.
I smiled at her, swallowing down my nausea. “I am. But do you mind if I borrow a pad?”
“Oh, of course.” She bustled out of the kitchen and upstairs.
Elena eyed me. “You have your period?”
“Yeah.” I looked out the window at Beatrice’s beautiful garden. In the Spring, it was a sight to behold when all the plants bloomed. “I got my period.”
“Sorry.” Elena said. What else was there to say?
Beatrice came back at that moment and gave me the pad. I disappeared back into the bathroom. When I came out once more, neither of them brought it up.
We talked about Elena’s possible future before turning to lighter topics. Nina Genovese was hosting a luncheon for the ladies and had invited us all along. We discussed what we were going to wear and if Chiara di Traglia would bring her cute baby granddaughter.
Eventually, I had to go home. Beatrice would never tell me I was overstaying my welcome but I knew she had things to do.
Oscuro was waiting outside the townhouse and nodded in greeting when he saw me. For all his politeness, you would’ve never thought he had heard Alessandro and I fighting the other night, but we hadn’t been exactly quiet in the backseat of the car. I felt a lick of embarrassment but tried to ignore it.
I’m sure Oscuro has bigger worries than your marriage, I told myself.
I was uncharacteristically quiet on the way home and Oscuro kept sending me worried looks—but didn’t demand an explanation.
The penthouse smelt like cleaning chemicals when we arrived. Polpetto was waiting by the door and yapped happily when I stepped into the apartment. I picked him up and held him to my chest, giving him a nice scratch.
“Teresa,” I called.
Teresa poked her head over the bannister. “Oh, Mrs Rocchetti, I didn’t know you were going to be home so soon.”
“It’s completely my fault.” I told her. “I’m going to make some lunch. Do you want some?” Teresa shook her head. “No.” She went a little pink. “But do you have any of those little bruschetta’s left?”
I laughed. “I’ll heat some up.”
I liked Teresa. She was young, a wife of a Soldati and always ate whatever I cooked her—unlike Oscuro and Beppe, who always refused. Plus, Teresa was always up to chat and keep me company. And Polpetto liked her.
When she was done with upstairs, Teresa came flouncing down the stairs with her bucket and mop.
“Wash your hands.” I reprimanded.
She laughed but did as she was told.
A sudden cramp hit me and I bit down my lip. Where had I put the Tylenol? I think I left it up in my bathroom.
“I’ll just be a moment, Teresa.”
“Of course, Mrs Rocchetti.” She said as she chomped happily on the bruschetta.
Teresa had mopped the floors and cleaned the windows to perfection. Alessandro was naturally quite neat and I insisted on cleaning my own spaces, so Teresa never had to do much more. Plus, making her clean my bedroom and bathroom would be cruel—since they were usually in a pigsty.
I went to the bathroom when I was upstairs and started. I hadn’t bled at all since coming from Beatrice’s house. That was weird—usually once my period started, it did not stop until five days later.
Maybe it was because I was stressed? I knew that stress and a change in environment could mess with your cycle, but this was a little weird. I was definitely on my period, however. I had been cramping, feeling bloated and uncomfortable.
Poor body, I thought. We’ll have a TLC night tonight.
I took some Tylenol for my cramps before going back downstairs. Teresa kept me company until she had to go.
“I’ll be back next week.” She scratched Polpetto’s head. He wagged his tail happily.
“Tell Pasquale I say hi.”
Teresa beamed. “Will do.”
Teresa left and once again I was alone.
When Alessandro came home that night, I hid in my bedroom. I could hear him downstairs rummaging around. Polpetto and I both listened as he opened the fridge and slammed doors.
I felt like an intruder as I pressed an ear to my bedroom door to listen out for him.
I didn’t relax until I heard his bedroom door close.
Warm hands ran up and down my skin. I felt myself arch back, wanting more.
A low laugh curled by my ear. “Do you like that, wife?”
Fingers got dangerously close to between my thighs and I moaned. Everything felt too sensitive, everything felt like electricity. The touch moved away from my thighs and I cried out in denial. The laugh came again and I felt the warm breath over my exposed nipples.
Rough hands gripped my breasts, squeezing lightly. I dug my heels into the bed, trying to stop myself from exploding.
“Please…” I begged, not sure what I was asking for but knew what I wanted.
I felt soft lips running over my exposed flesh. Goosebumps followed behind them. “Do you like me holding your breasts, wife?” Mused the voice. I felt the scrap of teeth as they spoke.
Another moan escaped my throat.
“Answer me.” The voice became harder.
I couldn’t speak words. My mouth opened but no legible noise could escape.
Heat began to evaporate from my body and a strange frosty feeling took over. I squirmed, wanting the heat back. It was too cold—
“Tell me, little bride.”
A familiar face was suddenly in front of me. Blood poured from his cut neck and his eyes were wild with violence.
“Answer me, little bride.” Said the man in a guttered voice. “Did you like slitting my throat, little bride?”
I opened my mouth to scream. Blood filled my mouth, wet and thick, blocking my throat and stopping any noise from escaping—
My hands shoved at the Gallagher but he didn’t move. His lips were moving and blood kept pouring.
“Did you like it, little bride?” He thundered. “Did you like it?”
No, no, I tried to scream but there was too much blood—
“SOPHIA!”
I sprung up, tearing myself from my nightmare.
Sweat covered every inch of me and I could barely breath. It was so dark—I couldn’t see—
“Sophia,” came a hard familiar voice. “Take a deep breath.”
Deep breaths, I told myself. Deep breaths.
I sucked air into my lungs, tying to stabilise myself.
Slowly, the room began to piece together. It was nighttime, I was in my bed and sitting in front of me was my husband.
Alessandro wore his pyjama pants with no shirt. His dark eyes were holding me together.
“You had a nightmare.” He told me.
I shuddered a breath. There had been so much blood. I could still feel its phantom presence on me.
“Take another deep breath.” He commanded.
I sucked air into my lungs. Deep breaths, Cat’s voice soothed. But it was warped now, deeper. Deep breaths.
“I didn’t mean to wake you.” I whispered.
Alessandro huffed. “You were screaming. Let’s just hope the neighbours didn’t wake up.” He surveyed me coldly. “What were you dreaming out?”
I remembered the beginning of the dream. The heat, the sensitivity. The feeling of rough callouses against my soft skin. I looked down to hide my flush. “I dreamt of the wedding. The man…I killed.” Killed came out in a harsh whisper.
“Sophia, look at me.”
I kept my eyes down.
Alessandro’s hands grabbed my chin and he pulled my face up. He wasn’t holding me enough to hurt but the command on his
touch was undeniable. He met my eyes. “If you hadn’t of killed him, he would’ve killed you.”
“I know.”
“Good.” Alessandro let go of me. I could still feel the warmth of his fingers. He rose, elegant and powerful. “Try and go back to sleep.”
I rubbed my exposed arms. Sleep was the last thing I wanted to do. I actually felt like vomiting. “Okay.”
“Oh, and I like your face mask.”
Face mask? I felt dumbly at my cheeks and then flushed. I had fallen asleep with my face mask on after having a TLC night. “It’s made of aloe vera.” I said.
“That’s what that smell is.” He noted. Alessandro made to leave but stopped with his hand on the door knob. “I’m leaving in the morning for a few days.”
I tried to peel off my mask. “Where are you going?”
“Columbus. There are some…things I have to handle there.” I could only guess what those things were. “I’ll be back on the 5th.”
“Be safe.”
Alessandro eyed me coldly. “Yeah, you too.” Then he was gone.
Chapter Twelve
When I woke up the next day, my pad was still clear.
Either this was the weirdest period I had ever had…or something else was going on.
I stared at myself in the mirror and tried to recreate the conversation Cat and I would have. Cat was the voice in reason in situations like these. She would’ve said it was better to be safe than sorry and that just one little test couldn’t hurt.
Ignoring the problem won’t make it go away, she use to tell me whenever I refused to do homework or deal with friend troubles. Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and bite the bullet.
I looked down at Polpetto. “What do you think I should do?”
Polpetto wagged his tail at the attention.
“Yeah,” I sighed. “I think ignorance is bliss, too. But also a privilege.”
I left the bathroom and sought out the tests Dr. Li Fonti had given me all those weeks ago. I read the instructions five times before actually growing the courage to complete the test. Polpetto stayed with me the entire time, watching curiously as I peed. Then he tried to grab the stick, thinking it was a toy, but I darted out of his grip.
“You’re being a bad influence.” I told him.
The test would take a few minutes to give me a result so I forced myself to leave the bathroom.
I’m sure you’re not pregnant, I told myself. Sure, you’ve had some spotting. Cramps. And you’ve been feeling uncomfortable. And nauseous.
But you’re not pregnant. You and Alessandro only had sex once.
The penthouse was quiet, reminding me that Alessandro had gone away to Columbus. It was a little weird moving around the house without him there, but there was also a bit of relief. I could walk on the furniture and eat ice cream for breakfast, and nobody would be there to tell me off.
I did neither of those things, however. Only made myself a reasonable bowl of cereal and sat at the bench with the newspaper.
I couldn’t concentrate on the words. My mind kept going upstairs to my bathroom.
There’s no way, I told myself. Don’t even worry. You’ve just got a weird period.
The minutes clicked by. Second by second. I didn’t even bother trying to distract myself, just watched the clock.
Four minutes to go.
I tapped my nails against the counter.
Three minutes.
You’re not pregnant. You’ve only had sex once. But what if…
Two minutes.
Aren’t women meant to know? Don’t they feel it? Do I feel pregnant? How would I know?
One minute.
I rose from the counter and began my ascension up the stairs. I felt like I was in a horror movie. Some stupid protagonist who had heard a noise upstairs and was now going up to investigate. Polpetto trotted by my side.
You can do this, I told myself.
Just take a deep breath.
I stepped into my bathroom and looked down at the counter.
“Shit.”
I liked Oscuro but I didn’t trust him.
But how would I manage a doctor appointment without telling him what was going on? I couldn’t very well lie while we were sitting in the waiting room of the gynaecologists.
Would Oscuro blabber to Alessandro the first chance he got? Or worse, the other Rocchetti’s?
What other choice did I have?
“Taxi, ma’am?” Fred asked as Oscuro and I exited the building.
I shook my head. “No, thank you, Fred. Oscuro and I are going to enjoy the weather.”
“Can you believe it’s the first day of Spring tomorrow? It looks like it’s going to be a warm one.”
I paused. The first day of Spring… “Tomorrow is the 1st of March?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
My stomach clenched. I considered running back inside and crying into my pillow. Tomorrow was the 1st of March. A day that would be forever cursed in my mind.
How had I not realised? Was I really so lost in myself that I had forgotten the worse day of the year?
“Mrs Rocchetti?” Probed Oscuro. “Are you okay?” I shook my thoughts away and smiled at him. “Just in fairyland. Shall we?” We said goodbye to Fred and made our way through the bustling city. Snow was beginning to melt away, leaving the skeleton trees naked. The wind was still freezing but at least the sun’s rays could be felt once more. It did look like it was going to be a warm Spring.
Oscuro didn’t ask where we were going but I saw his jaw tighten when we arrived in front of the gynaecologists.
“Mrs Rocchetti?” He questioned.
“You can wait out here if such places make you queasy.” I told him, heading up the steps.
“Does the Capo—“ I tried to give Oscuro a reassuring smile. “I’m only here for a pap smear. Dr Li Fonti recommended me one.”
My bodyguard flushed. “Of course, ma’am.”
Oscuro was silent as we entered the building. It was warm inside, and fairly busy. Pregnant women sat on the chairs and women with babies. My eyes ran over them and I felt a slight bond with each of them. I’m pregnant too, I wanted to tell them, I’m going to be like you soon.
The receptionist smiled at me as I approached. “How can I help you today?”
“Hi, I have an appointment with Dr Parlatore at 12?”
“Sophia Rocchetti?” She asked as she clicked away.
“That’s me.”
“Lovely.” The receptionist passed me a clipboard. “Fill this out please. Dr Parlatore will be with you in just a moment.”
I thanked her and ushered Oscuro to the chairs. He looked slightly uncomfortable. He kept staring at the diagrams of vaginas and breasts on the walls with a horrified expression.
I patted his arm. “You can wait outside.”
“I’m fine, ma’am.” Oscuro leaned back against the wall whenever a pregnant woman passed. “Just…fine.”
“I can see that.” I filled out the form. More than once I almost wrote Padovino instead of Rocchetti, leaving to many crossed out P’s. When I saw the emergency contact question, I paused. Was it still Papa? Or was it now Alessandro? I wrote down Papa anyway, since I knew all his details.
We had to wait a little while but Oscuro’s general fear kept me entertained. For a such a big strong soldati, he really was terrified of the gift of life.
“No little Oscuro’s?” I asked.
He shook his head. “I’m not married.”
“You don’t have to be married.” I reminded him.
Oscuro gave me a slightly amused look but didn’t respond.
“Sophia?” Called a voice.
A middle-aged woman with pretty blonde hair and a white coat was calling for me. I quickly got up and approached. Oscuro followed.
“Sophia?” She confirmed.
“That’s me.”
“I’m Dr. Parlatore.” She waved me down the hall and peered over my shoulder. “Your partner?”
&nbs
p; “No.” Oscuro quickly said. “Just security, doctor.” Dr. Parlatore’s eyebrows rose but she didn’t question it. “Sorry for the wait.” Was all she said. We entered her office but Oscuro stayed outside. She didn’t question that either.
I closed the door behind me.
The doctor sat at her desk. Opposite the desk was a examination lounge. I opted to sit at the chair beside her desk. All around were her credentials and diplomas. I thought of the diploma shoved away in my passport.
“You’re here for a blood test, yes?”
“Yes.” I swallowed down my nerves. “I did a at home pregnancy test and when I called, the lady said I should come in right away for confirmation.”
“You should.” Dr Parlatore stood up and went to the cabinet. She pulled out an array of tools.
The doctor was very careful while she took my bloods, speaking me to in a soothing voice when she saw my slight fear of the needle. When she was done, she hid the blood from my view and whipped off her gloves.
“We’ll have those results in a few hours. If you’re pregnant, we’ll arrange an ultrasound for you.”
“Thank you.”
Dr Parlatore gave me a kind look. “You might be feeling a bit light headed, so don’t be afraid to drink some orange juice. Get some sugar into you.”
“A free pass from my doctor to have some sugar.” I laughed. I shrugged my coat back on so I could hide the cotton ball on my arm.
“Yes. What else are we here for?” Dr Parlatore rose and ushered me out into the hallway. “We’ll call you with those—“
“Thanks.” I interrupted. Oscuro stood up and gave me a strange look. “See you soon, doctor.”
Dr. Parlatore flickered her eyes to Oscuro. “Goodbye.” She told me.
I hurried to the receptionist, paid and then ushered Oscuro out. I was feeling incredibly light-headed. Oscuro followed me silently, eyeing me suspiciously.
When we got back onto the street, I insisted we stop at the closest coffee shop. “I’m feeling like something to eat. How about you?”
“It’s up to you.” He answered.
Oscuro was not stupid but I thought I had hid my lie pretty well. Would he tell Alessandro? My stomach clenched. He had probably texted Alessandro my location, as he was required to do. Did his mobile plan allow him to reach Columbus?