Hockey Is My Boyfriend: Part One

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Hockey Is My Boyfriend: Part One Page 9

by Ting, Melanie


  She smiled. “Okay, but can we just hang out for a bit? Like old times.”

  “Sure, I’ll be a perfect gentleman.”

  “As if.” She laughed and went into the house.

  19

  Changes

  “I’m sorry, you broke up with the best-looking guy on the North Shore because he didn’t pass the puck and scored a goal instead? A goal that was for you.”

  April was lying on my bed. She had come over for the full report on Friday night. My cat, Gino, was lying beside her, and both of them were giving me disgusted looks. Gino’s was due to the fact that nobody was rubbing his fat belly. April’s was due to the fact that I hadn’t let Nicklas rub my belly and more.

  She closed her eyes. “Kelly, hockey is not a reason to break up with a nice boyfriend! If you keep this up, you’re going to die a virgin. All shrivelled up and wrinkly, since you don’t have any juices left in you.”

  I was P.O.’ed. As expected, April thought I was an idiot. I felt I had to speak up in my defence. “Not necessarily. I actually have a date tonight.”

  Her eyes flew open. “With who?”

  “Phil.”

  Her eyes closed again. “Oh, of course. Good old Phil.”

  “Well, that’s kind of insulting. Phil is very attractive. You’re the one who’s into appearances.”

  “Attractive, yes. But somehow you have managed to resist his charms for years now.”

  “Have I?”

  Her eyes opened again. She squinted at me. “Have you been fooling around with Phil? You have! When did this happen?”

  “About a month ago. We only made out a little, but it was amazing. Totally amazing.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me right away?”

  “I felt so guilty. I was still going out with Nicklas, and it shouldn’t have happened. So I tried to forget about it.”

  “But if you liked Phil better, why didn’t you dump Nicklas then?”

  “I didn’t know if I did like him better. I really liked Nicklas and I didn’t have a good reason to break off with him.”

  “So maybe you were looking for a reason to dump him?”

  “I hope not. You know that I was ready to have sex with him last night. I still liked him until the game. But who knows? Feelings are such weird things.”

  “Too true. Who am I to lecture you, I never know what I’m going to do until I do it.” She smiled for the first time during our conversation. She rubbed Gino’s tummy and he started purring. “Hmmm, you and Phil, maybe it’s fate. And I know he’s good in bed.”

  “What? How do you know that for sure?”

  “Because he went out with Jenn Valentine, and she talked. She said he was totally hung and knew exactly what to do.”

  Instead of exciting me, this made me feel terrible. I had always found the idea of Phil and other girls gross. Plus I had no idea what to do, so maybe Phil would be totally disappointed with me. Bleh.

  “I can see what you’re thinking. Don’t worry, guys like it when the girl is a little inexperienced. Or a lot, as in your case. How far did you and Nicklas go anyway?”

  “I’m not talking.” And for once I tried to look as inscrutable as my Asian ancestors until April gave up.

  “All I know is that they don’t like it when you have to tell them where things are. But apparently Phil knows already. I wonder how long it will be until you guys do the deed? Maybe I should start a pool. Tell me again how it was when you made out.”

  I threw a pillow at her. For sure, the next time I was thinking about having sex, I wouldn’t ask April for advice. I would be a big girl and keep my mouth shut, before and after. Unlike stupid Jenn Valentine.

  After a big game, I would sit in the dressing room and replay everything in my mind. I figured out what I did right and how I could do it again. I figured out how I screwed up and how to fix that. Now, I thought I needed to do the same thing for my relationship with Nicklas.

  I didn’t regret going out with Nicklas, but I figured I should have taken things a little slower. I had mistaken being attracted to someone for really liking him. It would be different with Phil, because I already knew him as a person. But now I knew my body had a mind of its own, so I had to control that.

  I was already good at that mind over matter stuff. When I was in a game, I could rise above the pain and really push myself to go harder. Now I had to channel that mental discipline into my personal life.

  The main thing was being true to myself. With Nicklas, I had to try too hard to be a hot girlfriend, because that’s what he expected. And trying so hard made me feel like an impostor. That wasn’t me. Sure, April had me looking better, or looking more like what everyone thought a girl should look like. But I was still Kelly underneath: a jock, a goof, and just me. Definitely not a hot girlfriend.

  With Phil, I was going to be honest. If he were making me nervous or uncomfortable, I would tell him. And just because I was attracted to him, that didn’t mean I was going to hop right into bed with him. We could take it slow.

  But was Phil going to be good with that?

  20

  Territorial

  For my first “date” with Phil, we went to a party at Karen Leighton’s place. I was nervous about the reaction we’d get when everyone saw we were dating. But when we walked in together—nothing.

  We’d shown up together at parties for years, so nobody cared. I even saw people looking behind me, as if they were wondering who Phil’s real date was. And even though I was the one who wanted to take things slowly, I was pissed that nobody noticed.

  Phil wasn’t the type to cling all night, so we both got something to drink and went our separate ways. Karen lived with her mom and two sisters. Her mom was pretty easygoing about parties and drinking and stuff. The Leighton women liked having a little testosterone around, so all of them were serial daters. Luckily for them, since they were all tall, blonde, and relaxed, they had no trouble finding dates. Karen went straight from one relationship to the next. That was another reason why I wanted to take things slowly with Phil; I figured you needed some time and space between relationships or else they didn’t mean a thing. I certainly didn’t need a guy around all the time.

  It was nice to be at a party where I knew everyone for a change, so I mingled easily. However I sensed a different vibe around me now. Before I was Kelly-the-jock and guys were my buddies, but now I seemed to be Kelly, a girl who dates and is a possible hook-up. Guys were definitely relating to me in a new way, and frankly that was gross. I went to a pretty small high school and I was way too familiar with these guys. Kissing Phil had made me see him in a whole new way, but I certainly wasn’t going to make out with every guy I knew to find out if they had potential too. Barf.

  That’s probably why I ended up sitting on the living room couch and talking to Aidan Woodhull, a new guy who had moved here from Liverpool. I didn’t know anything about Liverpool, but Aidan was happy to fill me in. He had a cute accent and a really dry sense of humour. He made jokes without smiling, so it took me two beats to even laugh. It turned out that he had relatives in Dublin, which was where my great-grandmother came from. My mom was always mentioning Dublin even though she had only been there once. Aidan had a total obsession with a soccer team called Everton, which he proceeded to tell me about in agonizing detail. If Canadians were this boring about hockey when we moved somewhere else, people must be fleeing at the sight of a maple leaf or a Roots sweatshirt. I started listening again when he switched topics.

  “So Kelly, I’ve seen you about at school, but I’ve never seen you at a party before.”

  “Um, well I’ve been going to different parties.” Not to mention hanging out in the back seat of Volvo SUV's.

  “That’s a shame, innit? You’re really fit.” He edged closer and pulled a loose thread off my cardigan.

  “Well, I try, I play hockey. And I run and go to the gym.” For some reason, Aidan found this funny and started to laugh loudly.

  “You’re very refreshing! It�
��s a bit warm in here, fancy getting a bit of fresh air with me?” Aidan put his hand on my arm and I was about to say no when we were interrupted.

  I didn’t even know Phil was in the living room, but suddenly he slipped onto the couch beside me. He put an arm around me and used his other hand to turn my face towards his. Then he leaned down and kissed me, hard at first and then he opened up my lips and Frenched me. Right in front of everyone! If it weren’t for the jolt of total lust I was having, I would have whacked him. As it was, I shoved him in the chest and he stopped.

  “Hey, Aidan.” Phil’s words were neutral, but his tone wasn’t. I think he and Aidan played soccer together on the school team. “I see you’ve met my girlfriend.”

  I had to give Aidan credit, even though Phil was being very in-your-face, he didn’t back down. Aidan merely smiled and said, “Oh you’re with Phil, are you? Perhaps I’ll check back next month then.” And then he left. Aidan might have only been here a few months but he already knew Phil’s reputation for short relationships.

  Everyone in the room had quieted down and was now staring at us. If I wanted people to know we were going out, I had certainly gotten my wish.

  “Phil, I can handle these things myself.”

  “I thought I could save you the trouble and make sure every other guy knows what’s going on, so they don’t make the same mistake.” Phil shrugged. Then a smile crept onto his face and turned into a huge grin. “Besides, Kelly, I’m pretty stoked about us and I’d like everyone to know that you’re with me now.”

  I made a little face. I didn’t like it when Phil got all macho, but he was kind of irresistible when he was really happy. That was the thing about Phil, when we were alone together he was so nice and relaxed and funny, like when we were younger. But if we were out with a bunch of people, he was all tough and cool. I didn’t like Cool Phil that much, but I figured Goofball Phil was not the good kisser.

  Still it all felt like too much, too soon. Plus he had promised.

  “What happened to being a perfect gentleman?”

  “That starts tomorrow.” And he pulled me a little closer to him on the couch.

  “Na-uh. It starts now.” I removed his hand from my shoulder.

  Phil gave me an appraising look, like he was sizing me up for a hockey fight. Then he grinned and said, “You're the boss, Kel.” And we started talking about the Canucks.

  21

  Jell-O

  The next day, I dropped in at Phil’s place after my run. “So, do you have a copy of your hockey schedule around?”

  “Why do you want my schedule?”

  “I’d like to come to one of your games.”

  Phil gave me a quizzical look and then got it. “Ah, the Tanaka Scale of Dating. But Kelly, we played together for years. You already know what a great player I am.”

  He wasn’t going to win any modesty awards, but he was a great player. His only flaw had been “protecting me” too much: taking out guys who checked me too hard or even getting into fights with guys who ran me. I used to tell him to back off, but he never listened.

  He had a game Tuesday evening, so I went. Of course, he didn’t need to protect anyone and just played well. What I liked about Phil’s game was his creativity. Too many players made the same moves all the time, from the way they exited the zone to the places they liked to shoot from. Phil was always trying new stuff, even in tight game situations. He seemed able to score at will, but he also excelled at setting up goals. I certainly didn’t see anything in his game that made me not want to go out with him. He was the best player on the ice. In fact, watching him play was kind of turning me on.

  It was sad to watch my old hockey team and not to play with them. Some of the parents came over to talk and ask me how it was going in girls’ hockey. A few told me that they missed me on the team, which was really nice.

  Phil drove me home afterwards.

  “How was I?” he asked.

  “Okay,” I told him. Phil didn’t need any ego-boosting.

  He grinned; he knew exactly how good he had been. “I probably broke the Tanaka Scale, and now you want me bad.

  “You wish.” I turned so he couldn’t see me smiling. He was right, he had been hot but I wasn’t letting on. “It would take an NHL superstar to break the Tanaka Scale.”

  “Can I come in?” he asked when we pulled into my driveway. I nodded. It had been ages since we had hung out here. Right off, it was clear that we weren’t just buddies anymore. Phil grabbed my hand as we walked up to the house. I wriggled loose by the time we walked in the door, but it was too late.

  “Why Phil, hello,” my mom said. She had obviously seen the handholding and was way too excited. She was always after me to do all the fun things she did in high school, which seemed to mean wearing slinky dresses and dancing disco with boys. “We haven’t seen much of you around here lately.”

  “Well, I’m going to be around a lot more, Molly.” Phil was so relaxed with my mom. I had never ever called his mom Greta. I even stuttered over “Mrs. Davidson.”

  “Um, Phil just had a game, so I’m going to get us a snack.” I peeked in the family room where my dad was reading a book and my brother was doing something on the computer. I grabbed some drinks, apples, and granola bars. “We’ll be up in my room.”

  “Don’t forget the house rules,” my dad called out. My dad’s rule was that my door had to be open if a guy was in there. It was really the Phil rule, since Phil was the only guy who had ever been in my bedroom. Also, my dad was the opposite of my mom, he would have preferred if I didn’t date until I was 21. Or 41. Or when he was dead.

  Phil and I had lots to catch up on. We started talking about our plans for university next year. While I had hoped for a hockey scholarship to a U.S. college, that dream was fading.

  “I’m playing really well, but my SAT scores sucked. Laura Armstrong is getting interest from U.S. colleges right now, but not me. The good news is that the Mac’s tournament we're going to after Christmas will have some Canadian university scouts there, so I could get a chance to go somewhere else and play. Otherwise, I guess I’ll go to U.B.C.”

  Phil nodded. “I want to go to U.B.C., too. But my dad has this good friend who’s the Dean of Engineering in Calgary. They both want me to consider going there. It’s not as good a school, but Dad thinks I could get a big scholarship and make some connections. He went there, so he’s biased.”

  “Maybe we’ll both end up staying here,” I said.

  “Yeah, who knows though. It’s early days. You could still get something.”

  Phil had way more confidence in me than I did. I was a good player with pretty good marks, but I wasn’t the whole package—and tons of other girls were. Phil reached over to hold my hand, and the warmth of his touch excited me. I swallowed hard.

  “So, you’re away after Christmas?” he asked. “Are you going to be here New Year’s?”

  I shook my head. “If we make it to the final, it’s on January 1st. But even if we don’t, the playoffs end December 31st, and we’d still have to drive home. So, chances aren’t too good.”

  “That’s too bad. I’ll miss you on New Year’s Eve. ” Phil looked at me through his dark lashes. I suddenly felt sweaty and pulled my hand away. New Year’s Eve would mean making out at midnight, which both excited and scared me. Phil saw I was getting twitchy and changed the subject.

  “Is that a new Team Canada poster?” he asked, pointing to my wall.

  “Yeah, I got to chosen to go to a special clinic. Cassie Campbell and Vicky Sunohara were there! They did some work on the ice with us. It was amazing.”

  “Wow, you never told me that.”

  “How could I? We haven’t been talking to each other most of the fall.”

  “Yeah, sorry about that. Everything with you and Nicklas was bugging me. But now we can make up for it.” Phil moved off his chair, and sat down beside me. The bed creaked loudly and then I heard my dad clearing his throat in the family room. I hopped up and sat
on the vacated chair.

  “Phil, I really meant what I said about going slow. I’d rather have some time by myself, but if you insist on us going out… well, I don’t want us to get too physical, too fast. Is that okay with you?”

  He frowned, but only for a second. “Sure. But then what’s the difference from being friends? I don’t think you can deny we’ve got a ton of attraction going on.”

  I sighed. He was right. How could we keep our hands off each other when we knew how hot things could be? “Doesn’t that worry you? We’ve been good friends for so long and going out could mess that up.”

  “That doesn’t worry me at all. In fact, it’s better. We know each other and you know you can trust me.” As he said that, he reached over and put his hand on my knee, and then slowly moved his thumb towards my thigh. It seemed innocent, but all he had to do was touch me and I was turning into Jell-O. Hot, wet-for-it Jell-O. I really had to draw a line here, otherwise I’d soon be having sex with him, open door or not.

  Although every molecule in my body disagreed, I lifted his hand off me. “Stop it. Please, can you just respect that I need time to get my head on straight? I don’t want to rush into stuff the way I did with Nicklas.”

  He opened his mouth, and I could tell he was ready to argue, but I spoke with total honesty. “Oh Phil, come on. You know I care about you and I don’t want to screw things up. When the time is right for us, it’ll be even better. You said you’d be patient, and I want to hold you to that.”

  He groaned. “Awww, I feel like I’ve been waiting so long already.”

  I didn’t say anything. He was right, but I was right too. If he couldn’t do this one thing for me, maybe it wasn’t going to work out. Now I knew that doing what my body wanted wasn’t always the right thing.

 

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