He nodded and tapped on his pipe. She thought she smelled the scent of warm chocolate—like the truffles in Vienna. But that was impossible. Regardless, the memory began to weigh her heart down again.
“You have a troubled mind,” Nicholas said.
She opened her mouth to speak, but she felt a threatening sob. Instead, she brought a hand to her mouth and nodded.
“Zeh heart and mind are always connected,” Nicholas said quietly. “Zey can both heal, but it takes time. Some heal more quickly zahn others.” He paused. “Be patient a little longer, Miss Ballard. His heart vill soon be healed, and vehn it is, he vill come looking for you.”
Gigi blinked against the stinging in her eyes and stared at Nicholas. Whatever could he mean?
Nicholas checked his pocket watch, snapped it shut, then tipped his hat. He stepped past her. Before she could ask him any questions, he strode down the corridor. Not toward the dining car, but in the opposite way. Was he getting off the train?
Gigi remained alone in the corridor for a moment, wondering what had just happened. There was only one man Nicholas could have been referring to. They had no other male acquaintance in common save for Professor Haskins. But how did Nicholas know about the depths of another person’s heart? Was he some sort of fortune-teller?
Gigi had no idea what to think, but regardless of common sense or reason, Nicholas’s cryptic words had given her hope where none had existed before. Still, now she must return to her aunt and push aside any foolish wishes or daydreams.
Gigi opened the compartment door and found Aunt Rowena asleep. She wasn’t sweating or pale, so Gigi took that as a good sign. She adjusted the covers about her aunt, then Gigi climbed onto her own bed. If only she could sleep away the next part of the journey, then wake up in London and have her sister and mother around her to help with her aunt’s recovery.
Which would mean surgery.
On one hand, Gigi understood why her aunt would put it off—surgery didn’t sound like a pleasant scenario in any situation. But now Gigi worried that putting it off might make the outcome more serious. What if the delay meant her aunt’s health was now in even greater peril? Should Gigi have been more insistent about returning when she’d found out in Vienna? Or should she have paid more attention to the times when Aunt Rowena had said she needed to rest?
All these regrets couldn’t be helped, and Gigi knew that her aunt’s stubbornness was hard to crack through. So maybe Gigi had done her best and had done all that was possible. And now she could do better with the new knowledge she had.
Gigi picked up her notebook and flipped through the most recent sketches she’d made. When she alighted on the one of men’s clothing—ones that the professor had encouraged her to create—she found herself smiling and aching and missing him with a fierceness that surprised even her. The ache would diminish in time. She had to believe that.
She picked up her pencil and drew the silhouette of a man similar to the professor. His proportions were perfect for sketching. She had no photograph of him, but her memories were still fresh, and she easily filled in details of his hair and face. Next, she’d work on his clothing. Casual this time. Similar to when they’d spoken that morning on the bridge. But what could she change up? Change the color of his shirt? Add a different color thread to the seams?
Across the compartment, Aunt Rowena stirred.
Gigi immediately went on alert. “How are you feeling, Aunt?” She rose and grasped the glass of water to hand over.
Aunt Rowena’s blue eyes opened. They looked clearer than they had in hours. “Is the professor gone?”
“Yes,” Gigi said. “And the train has begun its journey.”
“How long have I been asleep?”
“Maybe an hour.”
Aunt Rowena took the glass and sipped water, then handed it back. “Write to him,” she said in a soft voice. “Post it at the next stop. I have his university address written in my notebook.”
“He wanted a report of your health,” Gigi said. “I can wait until we arrive in London and know more.”
Her aunt rested a hand on Gigi’s arm. “You write to him. You tell him how you feel.”
Gigi blinked and looked away. “I don’t feel—”
“Georgina, if you don’t tell him, he will never know.”
“Tell him what?” She still couldn’t meet her aunt’s knowing gaze.
“That is for you to determine, my dear,” she said. “Hearts can change, you know. Time does that, and meeting the right person who has the power to change it.”
Gigi exhaled slowly. “I don’t know. He has his own life. He told us both that he is a confirmed bachelor.”
Aunt Rowena squeezed her arm. “It is only a letter. You will know what to say.”
Perhaps she would write to him. But she would keep it informational and casual. She would thank him again for his help. What harm would that be?
ChapteR SixteeN
Dear Lillian,
We just boarded the connecting train in Paris and will arrive in London soon. I likely won’t post this letter, but I’m using it to write my thoughts. Aunt Rowena thinks I should write to Professor Haskins. At every stop, she insists I post something. So far I have resisted, but I am feeling those walls crumble. I’ve imagined many different ways to start a letter, but then I keep failing to begin.
How does one start a letter to a man whom you will never see again, yet a man who kissed you like it was the beginning of something wonderful? A kiss goodbye was what it was. A kiss for the ages. And I will never forget. What if writing to him somehow taints those last moments we had together? What if it pulls our relationship back into the ordinary, the mediocre? What if I find out that he is not who I’ve built him up to be? When stripped from the romantic settings and grand adventure, what if he is nothing special?
Or what if the actualization is even worse? What if I discover I’ve missed my one chance at finding the love of my life . . .
Gigi tore the letter in half, then half again. Then she folded each small bit into a square. She glanced at Aunt Rowena. They were no longer in a sleeping compartment on the lavish Orient Express but sitting on rather ordinary benches. Regardless, her aunt’s eyes were closed, and she was clutching her notebook to her chest. A notebook filled with more lists.
Gigi didn’t know if her mother or sister would have received word in time to meet them at the station. No matter. Gigi planned to escort her aunt home, then send word to her doctor that they’d returned and that Aunt Rowena needed to be seen as soon as possible.
She pulled out another sheet of paper and began to write.
Dear Professor Haskins,
Scratch.
Dear Clyde,
Scratch.
Dear Professor,
Scratch.
Dear Professor Haskins,
We’re on our way from Paris to London. My aunt has reminded me multiple times to write, but I’m sure you aren’t interested in reading about the minute details of traveling on a train. This return trip is not nearly as interesting as traveling in the tour group. I hope you are enjoying the next cities and museums.
I will send another update when we have more news about my aunt’s health. Until then, I wish you well. Once again, thank you for everything. I will cherish the memories always.
Gigi reread the words and decided they were to the point, friendly, and not overly taxing. He could reply or not. She’d made no mention of their shared kiss or their private walks or anything between the two of them specifically.
Still, she wondered how she should close the letter.
Sincerely . . . In gratitude . . . Wishing you well . . . Always your friend . . .
She chose Wishing you well, then signed her name.
And before she could change her mind, she delivered the letter to the conductor to post at the next st
op, which would be London. She could very well post the letter herself, but now that it was out of her hands, she couldn’t change her mind and rip up the letter.
As she headed back to her aunt’s bench, there was no encounter with Nicholas, there were no familiar voices coming from the dining car, and there was no conversation with the professor to look forward to.
Gigi’s life had shifted once again. A new slate, a new beginning, and she must be strong for her aunt.
She hadn’t expected the emotions to hit her as they did when she and her aunt stepped off the train at the London station. They were home . . . unexpectedly. But now, answers could be found. Her aunt could be made well.
“Gigi!” a voice called through the milling crowd.
Gigi turned at the sound of her sister’s voice. “Lillian!” She laughed as her sister ran toward her. Lillian’s dark hair was expertly tucked under a wide brim hat decorated in violets.
Soon, Gigi was hugging her sister. Next, Lillian hugged Aunt Rowena, albeit more gently.
“Is Mother here too?” Gigi asked.
“It’s only me,” Lillian told them. “We had such short notice, and Mother is preparing a room for you, Aunt Rowena.”
Aunt Rowena frowned. “I’m returning to my home.”
Lillian only smiled and put an arm about Aunt Rowena’s shoulders. “We want you to stay with us so that we can take care of you after the surgery. It will only be for a short time, until you are well enough to get along on your own.”
Gigi could see her aunt’s hesitation. “I think that would be wise,” Gigi added. “We can wait on you hand and foot. You can make lists and order us around.”
Aunt Rowena cast her narrowed gaze upon Gigi, but there was amusement in it. “Well, this is an unexpected turn of events. I must think about it first.”
Her exasperated tone didn’t fool Gigi. Aunt Rowena would be giving in . . . soon.
Lillian linked her arm with their aunt’s. “I’ve brought the carriage, and we can discuss it more on the drive to Mother’s. She is hoping to see you right away. We’ve missed you deeply.”
Aunt Rowena’s face softened. “All right then. I’m not making any promises right now, mind you.”
“Of course not,” Lillian said with a sweet smile, then she winked at Gigi.
Gigi held back a laugh. Lillian was not only beautiful, she was also skilled in the art of persuasion. For a moment, Gigi wondered what Professor Haskins would think of her sister were he to ever meet her. Would he find her charming and beautiful? There was no secret to the fact that Lillian had the best attributes out of the two of them. Still, Gigi hoped that her friendship with the professor was solid all on its own two feet.
After they settled into the carriage and their baggage was loaded, Lillian said, “Mother has already contacted your doctor, Aunt Rowena. He’ll be stopping by our house in a couple of hours.”
“So soon?” Aunt Rowena said. “How ever did you manage it?”
Lillian smiled at Gigi. “I received a lot of letters. Nearly every day.”
Gigi nodded, feeling pleased that she’d contributed in some small way. She couldn’t explain the relief that had gone through her at the knowledge that her aunt would soon be under a doctor’s care again.
The return home was a whirlwind of greeting her mother, getting Aunt Rowena settled, unpacking most of their baggage, and filling in both her mother and sister on the events of the last two days.
Aunt Rowena had fallen asleep again by the time the doctor arrived. Lillian opened the front door and brought him upstairs to the bedroom where they’d set up their aunt. Gigi was keeping vigil by her aunt’s bedside, and when the doctor came in, Aunt Rowena awoke.
“I’ll leave you with the doctor,” Gigi said.
“No, dear,” Aunt Rowena said, reaching for her hand. “Stay with me.”
“Mrs. Ballard,” the doctor said, walking to the other side of the bed. “I need to check the size of the growth. This might be uncomfortable.”
Gigi winced along with Aunt Rowena as the doctor pressed on her abdomen.
“The good news is that the growth has not increased in size,” he said. “But it has not shrunk, and you are still experiencing pain when I press in the general area. I’m also concerned about your recent illness. It might be connected, but it’s impossible to tell before surgery.”
Aunt Rowena blinked rapidly as if she were holding back tears.
“We can perform the surgery tomorrow,” the doctor said, “and then focus on your recovery.”
“Tomorrow?” Aunt Rowena blurted out. “So soon? I thought I’d have a week or two or even longer.”
The doctor straightened and folded his arms. “It’s already past the time that I wanted to do the surgery in the first place. No offense, ma’am, but I did not approve your travel. Since you have now returned, I see no reason for delay.”
Aunt Rowena closed her eyes and exhaled. “Can you give us a moment, Doctor?”
Gigi was surprised to be included in the “us,” but the doctor nodded and stepped out of the room, closing the door quietly behind himself.
Opening her eyes, Aunt Rowena looked at Gigi. “Georgina, what shall I do?”
Was her aunt truly seeking her advice on such a grave matter?
Gigi knew the right answer, but how did she suddenly have such great influence over her aunt? The woman was looking at her with an imploring expression, and Gigi realized that the time they’d spent together on the tour had brought them closer than ever. Despite the years that separated them, her aunt was now looking to Gigi for serious counsel. She took a breath, then said, “Do the surgery tomorrow. Delaying could make things more difficult, and I don’t want you to have further complications.”
Aunt Rowena’s nod was grave. “Ask the doctor to return, my dear.”
Gigi rose and crossed the room. Opening the door, she found the doctor waiting in the hallway. She motioned for him to enter, and she remained in the doorway as Aunt Rowena told him that she’d do the surgery in the morning.
After the doctor left, Gigi spent another hour by her aunt’s bedside until the woman fell asleep. Once Gigi was temporarily relieved of her duties, she went into her bedroom to change into her nightdress for the evening.
Lillian waltzed in a moment later, wearing a nightdress that was more lace and ribbons than cotton fabric.
“Now,” Lillian said, sitting on the edge of the bed. “You must tell me everything.”
“Everything?” Gigi echoed.
Lillian batted her eyelashes. “You know, about Professor Haskins. Your dream man.”
Gigi sat on the other edge of the bed. “Don’t call him that. We were friends. Don’t turn him into a spectacle.”
Her sister’s eyes rounded. “Oh. You do like him. I was just teasing, but now I see—”
“Don’t,” Gigi said. “Whether I like him or not, that doesn’t signify anything. We were friends, and that is all. I’ll never see him again, and I don’t want my memories to have any regret in them.”
“Oh, Gigi, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make light of this.”
Gigi released a breath. “It is what it is. I enjoyed my time, and it was cut short, but that’s how life goes sometimes.” She wouldn’t tell her sister about the kiss because then that would change everything.
Lillian rose and crossed to Gigi. Taking her hands, she said, “You’re off duty tonight. Mother and I will check in on Aunt Rowena. She’s requested that you be at the hospital with her, so we want you to get as much rest as possible.”
Gigi wasn’t surprised at Aunt Rowena’s request, not after asking Gigi’s opinion on the surgery. “All right, thank you.” She watched her sister leave the room, and then she climbed into bed. At last, she could let nothingness wash over her.
ChapteR SeventeeN
Dear Professor Haskin
s,
We arrived home safely yesterday and met with the doctor almost immediately, thanks to the arrangements by my sister and mother. By the time you receive this letter, it will all be old news, but Aunt Rowena agreed to have her surgery today. She’s been out of the surgery for about two hours now and is still mostly sleeping.
Her doctor reported that she did well and that he will be sending the mass they removed to the lab for the cancer testing. So at this point, we will wait and see what the test reports bring. It’s Aunt Rowena’s job now to make a full recovery and my job to ensure that she does. It seems that our trip brought a new connection between the two of us, and she is wholly dependent upon me. I don’t mind, although if her recovery is slow, I’ll have to delay returning to work at the dressmaker’s.
I hope all is well with you, and I am sure once my aunt is fully awake, she’ll be asking if I’ve written to you yet. My answer will finally be yes.
Wishing you well,
Gigi
Gigi looked at the way she’d signed her name. Was it too casual? Should she write Miss Ballard instead? Or Gigi Ballard? Or Georgina Ballard?
In the end, she left it, sealed the letter in an envelope and took it to the front reception desk at the hospital to be posted. Then she returned to her aunt’s hospital room. It was a narrow room, but the tall window at one end let in plenty of light. One of the nurses had allowed Gigi to take the second bed, and now, Gigi climbed upon it to work in her sketchbook while she waited for her aunt to awaken and ask for something.
Over the next week, Gigi’s routine became a series of hours of waiting for her aunt to need something. Her mother had been right to set up Aunt Rowena in their home. The recovery was slow and frustrating, but Aunt Rowena somehow stayed busy during her waking hours with making more lists, having Gigi read aloud to her, and sending out letters and notes to friends far and wide.
At the beginning of the second week, the doctor stopped in to make one of his many house calls. After checking Aunt Rowena’s incision site, he declared that it was healing properly. “No activity for another two weeks at least,” he said.
Until Vienna (Romance on the Orient Express) Page 12