by Zoë Archer
Mariana sat back, pulling the bandages completely off.
“What’s going on here, Simon?”
“Mari, I…” He grimaced as if not sure what to say. He took his time deciding how to explain what she was looking at. “I was changed.”
Her gaze shot to his, searching for meaning in his vague words. “Changed how? Did you volunteer for some kind of experiment? I’ve heard rumors about accelerated healing projects, but I’ve never seen anything like this.”
“I didn’t volunteer. I was affected by an injury on a mission. I nearly died. It was a close thing for a while, from what they told me later. I pulled through and this is one of the side effects. I heal really fast now.”
“When?” Facts were spinning and colliding in her mind. “When did this happen to you?”
“On the mission right after I left you. I was sick for a long time and when I was finally well again, I…I thought you’d be better off without dealing with something like this. There’s still a lot of uncertainty surrounding my condition.”
“Oh, God, Simon.” She was devastated by his words. He had left her without a backward glance—or so she’d thought. Now perhaps, she understood why he’d never said good-bye.
“You can’t talk about this, Mari.”
There he went with that need to know garbage again. Sometimes she really hated the fact that he was a covert operator. The secrecy in his life was maddening.
She had to think. She had to regroup. She had to check his vitals and reassure herself that he truly was in as good condition as he seemed. She wouldn’t let him leave later today if there was any danger of internal bleeding or complications from the blood loss he’s sustained earlier. He looked really good on the surface, but she needed hard facts and numbers to be sure he was as healthy on the inside as he looked on the outside.
“All right.” She rested her palms on her thighs and took stock, breathing deeply to regain some measure of sanity. “Let me take your vitals and then I’ll get out of your way so you can get more sleep. You were beat when you showed up on my doorstep and I’ll be damned if I let you go until you’ve caught up at least a little on your beauty rest.”
He smiled at that. Just a small smile. It touched her deeply nonetheless. Simon’s rare smiles had always had that effect on her, which was why she had tried so hard to earn them.
She reached for the blood pressure cuff and thermometer she had brought in with her and proceeded to take his readings. She occupied herself for the next few minutes with routine chores that told her what she needed to know about his inner condition.
“I hardly believe it. Your numbers are good, Si.” She watched him with near disbelief as he bunched a pillow behind him and sat up to face her.
“I told you it would be okay. Please don’t freak out on me, Mari.”
“If I haven’t freaked out yet, I’m not going to, but I won’t lie to you. This is just plain weird. Have you had any other complications from that injury?”
He closed up. “I can’t talk about it. I shouldn’t have told you this much.”
Damn, there was that secrecy again. Ultimately, she realized only now, it was the clandestine nature of his work and experiences that had driven them apart more than anything. She cursed it. Yet in the same moment she knew that without his commitment to duty he wouldn’t have been the same man she had grown to love. He was an elite soldier who lived by a sacred code of honor that she respected as much as she respected him.
And she still admired his commitment, honor, loyalty, and service, even though it had come between them. Knowing what she knew now, her heart thawed. He had left her for her own good. Or what he perceived as being for her own good. He had always put her welfare first. It was maddening at times, as well as being incredibly sweet.
“So I guess my next question is, do you want me to take out the stitches now so you can sleep easier, or wait and do it tonight? Fair warning, it’ll be easier now, while the wounds are still healing. I’m afraid if we wait it might hurt more.”
“Then now it is.” Simon gave her another tiny lift of one corner of his mouth. The man didn’t fear pain, but he also wasn’t stupid. The mixture of cunning and bravery had drawn her to him from the beginning and it was no less potent now.
“I’ll just get a few things and be right back. Do you want me to bring back anything? Maybe some juice or water?”
“Juice would be good.”
Or a seven-course meal with her luscious body for dessert. Simon kept that thought carefully to himself. Being around Mariana again was playing havoc with his control. He’d thought he could handle it, but he’d been wrong. Mari was his Achilles’ heel. She got to him like no other woman ever had, or likely ever would.
He’d just shared one of his deepest secrets with her and she had barely blinked an eye. In all the scenarios he’d run in his mind, he never would’ve expected her relatively calm acceptance of the freak he’d become. She was made of even stronger stuff than he had thought.
She returned a few minutes later. She had a big bottle of orange juice in one hand and a small pan full of instruments, gauze, and what looked like small bottles of liquid in the other. He guessed the medicine bottles probably contained a topical anesthetic of some kind and a disinfectant. Mari was a thorough and careful physician with a truly healing touch. He had always admired her skill and way with people.
She handed him the juice wordlessly, then adjusted the bedside light before sitting once more on the edge of his temporary bed. There wasn’t much room on the small cot, so her thigh and hip pressed against his side.
He longed to stroke her skin with no barriers of cloth between them, but knew it was impossible. He’d made his choice when he’d left her. There would be no second chances for them. Not after what had happened to him.
Still the heat of her body pressing against his, even in this innocent way, brought back memories and longings best forgotten. How she had moved under him. How she had cried out when he made her come. How beautiful she always was when they made love and after, with her dark hair spread out over his pillow.
She was the most feminine, graceful woman he had ever known. Yet he knew her as a capable officer, brilliant doctor, and cunning opponent whenever they battled wits. Her tastes in music and films ran parallel to his, though she did tend to like the odd chick flick. Still, she didn’t object to his penchant for horror movies too strenuously, so they’d rubbed along well together.
Then his life had actually become a horror movie and he knew he couldn’t subject her to any of it. He would die before he saw her in danger. Especially danger he brought to her doorstep because of his work. No, she was better off without him in her life. Nothing would convince him otherwise, no matter how badly he wanted to take her in his arms and wish the world away.
He opened the juice bottle, busying his hands while she worked. She bathed the area in a liquid that tingled and then began snipping and tugging at the neat stitches she had put in him just an hour before. By tonight, if precedent held, he would be good as new, with not a scar in sight. Freak that he now was.
“This may hurt a little. Let me know if you want some more anesthetic.”
“Just do it, baby. I’ve had worse.”
Damn, his voice sounded rough. He needed to get a grip here. Her nearness was wreaking havoc with his libido…and his control. He hadn’t bedded a woman since her. None since the attack that had made him what he was now.
A zombie hunter. A damned zombie magnet. The only thing that stood between the real world and the world of nightmares.
“I’d rather not hurt you if I can help it.” She sounded more than a little annoyed. “No matter how much of a tough guy you are. You have nothing to prove here, Simon.”
Oh yeah, she was annoyed. He’d always thought she was cute when she got uptight about something, which only annoyed her more of course. Simon wisely kept silent but damn if she wasn’t still the most complex, engaging, and attractive woman he had ever known. Even wh
en she was pissed off at him.
“How does that feel?” She’d finished with one row of stitches and was on to the next.
“Fine, doc. Just keep going. I’ll let you know if there’s a problem.”
She shot him a disgusted look. Still, he could see the worry that tightened the tiny lines around her eyes. It touched him that even after the way he had left her, without even saying good-bye, she still cared. At least a little. At least enough not to want to cause him unnecessary pain.
Of course, she was a doctor. It might have something to do with her Hippocratic oath. She would probably do the same for anyone. Even her worst enemy. Even the man who’d left her without a word.
Simon tried to live his life without regrets but the way he had dealt with Mariana was one of his biggest. He felt guilty about what he’d done—or rather what he hadn’t done. Not saying good-bye was a cowardly move and he wasn’t proud of his past actions.
Maybe this was his chance to finally make it right. When he’d first been hired to do this job, he had scoped out what he would do if he was hurt. The base hospital was out of the question. Once a military doctor saw what his body could do now, Simon would never be free of them. He wouldn’t go down that road if he could help it.
When he’d learned of Mariana’s clinic he knew that was his only option. One he wouldn’t take unless there was no other alternative. Last night, his choice had been taken away and now he had to make the best of it.
That he could trust her went without question. He knew her to be a woman of deep integrity. Even after what he’d done, she wouldn’t betray him. Now, perhaps, was his chance to apologize for his cowardly actions and help her heal from the injury he’d dealt.
As she finished with the last of the stitches, he captured her hand. “How have you been, Mari?”
She seemed surprised by his question, but less annoyed than she had been a moment ago. “Better than you, from what I’ve just seen.”
He had to laugh at her wry humor. The tightness around her eyes eased some more.
“You’ve got me there.” He let go of her hand. “I meant what I said before. I’m sorry for the way I left without a word. It was wrong.”
“It was,” she agreed readily as she collected her things back into that curved pan. “I think I understand why you did it a little better now. I just wish…”
“What?” He wasn’t sure he really wanted to know, but had to ask.
“I wish you’d trusted me. I don’t know—maybe I could have helped. I’m a pretty good researcher. Maybe I could have found something to help you.”
Her words surprised him, though on reflection, they shouldn’t have. She had been part of a military led research study when they’d met. She had a brilliant mind and a stellar reputation as a medical professional. She probably would have done all she could to help him, had he told her the true nature of his condition.
The military didn’t even know everything about the changes to his body, and he was careful to keep it that way. As far as they knew, he’d gained immunity to the contagion only. They didn’t know about the other side effect of his run-in with the monsters they had created. He’d been lucky up to this point. He hadn’t learned of the super fast healing until after he was out of the service and being treated by a civilian doctor.
“I’m okay, Mari. Really. I have a doctor I trust and he says I’m stable for the moment.”
“For the moment?” She sounded suspicious and a little annoyed. He could tell she didn’t like that last part at all.
“It’s the best he could do given what happened to me. We’re breaking new ground here, Mari. For what it’s worth, I prefer to do it on my own, without being a lab rat.”
“Si, you know I would never—” She looked so affronted it was actually cute. He cut her off by placing one finger over her luscious lips.
“I trust you with my life, Mari. That’s why I came here when I got hurt and didn’t trek over to the base hospital. I figured if I could trust anyone on this base, it was you, even after what I’d done. I’m gratified to know I was right, but I can’t say I’m surprised.” For once, he hoped his expression conveyed what he was feeling. “You’ve always had my utmost respect.”
She tilted her head, considering him for a long moment. “And you will always have mine, Simon.” Her low voice sent shivers down his spine all out of proportion with the conversation, but then all Mariana had to do was breathe to turn him on. She stood and gathered her supplies. “Get some rest. I’ll check on you in a few hours and bring you some food. How does roast beef on rye sound?”
“Delicious. You remembered.” He still remembered all her favorite things, too. Like her favorite positions for making love, her favorite places to be touched, and her favorite techniques for making him absolutely crazy with need. But those were better left alone for now. He didn’t deserve her. He had never deserved her. All he had now were memories and he would have to be content with them.
“I remember a lot of things, Simon.” The heat that flared in her dark eyes told him her agile mind might be tracking along the same path as his.
That was a danger zone, fraught with trouble for them both. He backed off, yawning to break the sudden sexual tension that lay thick in the air. He was drained both physically and emotionally after the physical rigors of the night before and the confrontation with Mari he had put off too long. He wasn’t really faking the yawn. His body needed to recharge in a big way.
She let it slide, backing away and heading for the door. “Sleep well, Simon. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”
Knowing he would see her again, Simon followed orders and sank into a dreamless sleep on the almost-comfortable cot.
Chapter Three
As it turned out, the clinic was a madhouse for the rest of the day. Mariana was able to sneak in back a few times to peek in and make sure Simon was okay, but that was all she had time for. When one of the nurses went out to get food, she asked her to bring back the roast beef on rye with all the works, plus a salad.
The sandwich was for Simon, the salad for herself. She took a half hour to go in back around two o’clock in the afternoon to find Simon dozing lightly. He was the next thing to ravenous as they ate together, talking about commonplace things and old times. It was light conversation. With the noise from the clinic in the distance, she was just as glad not to get into anything too heavy with him while they ate.
She looked at his wounds once more, shocked by the clear flesh that met her inspection. Not even a scratch marred his skin. Chills went down her spine as she realized how radically his body chemistry must have been altered by whatever had happened to him. He was right to stay clear of any doctor who might not have his best interests at heart. At least for the moment.
Simon could all too easily become some selfish doctor’s lab rat. If the changes in his body could be studied—if the healing power he possessed could be harnessed—well, it would make someone very rich indeed. It could also be something the military establishment could use to make their soldiers nearly invulnerable. It could be something huge. And something very dangerous for Simon, since he was the only one in the world to possess such power at the moment.
He was much better off keeping it a secret for now. For all she knew, it could be a temporary condition. It might dissipate on its own. Or it might morph yet again into something that could kill him.
She wished he had come to her in the beginning. She wished he would let her help him more than by just patching up his cuts. But it was his life. His decision. She wouldn’t pressure him. She just wanted him to know she would be there if he ever needed her help.
“I’m going to call Commander Sykes and tell him you’re much improved and will be on your way after the clinic closes for the day.”
“That sounds about right. After this most excellent lunch, I’ll probably sleep a few more hours. If Matt Sykes sends over his guy with my stuff, I can duck out of here right after your staff leaves for the night.”
&n
bsp; She wished he’d stay, but knew her reasons were purely selfish. “I’ll call him this afternoon then.”
“Mari,” his tone grew serious as he drew her attention. “Matt doesn’t know about the healing. If you could avoid telling him everything…”
“Never fear. I, of all people, can see the potential problems for you if news of your condition got out. I’ll tell the commander that you’re good to go and that’s all he needs to know.”
“You’re a peach, Mari.” The grin her sent her reminded her of their dating days. It was too close to flirting for her comfort.
Mariana stood, gathering up the trash. “I’ll let you rest. If you need anything, you know where to find me.”
“Thanks, Mari. For everything.” The moment stretched and felt just a little too serious. Then he grinned again. “And especially for remembering my favorite sandwich. I’ve been living off field rations for a few weeks. That roast beef tasted like a little slice of heaven.”
He rubbed his stomach with a silly expression on his face and she knew he’d done it to make her laugh. She couldn’t help herself. Simon was his most charming when he didn’t take himself too seriously. It hadn’t happened often, but once in a while he’d unbent enough to act the clown. Just for her.
She left him, still chuckling, and headed for her office to make the promised call to Commander Sykes. She was careful to give the commander the bare facts, not delving into the details of Simon’s physical condition, only assuring Sykes that he was fit for duty and would be leaving the clinic that night after closing time. Sykes seemed satisfied with that and Mariana breathed a sigh of relief.
Sykes reminded her there were to be no records of Simon’s treatment or even his presence. For once, Mariana was grateful for the clandestine nature of Simon’s work. No one would hear of his healing abilities from her—or even know he’d been in her clinic. She trusted her nurses not to say anything, so Simon was in the clear for this incident. She only hoped he would be as lucky the next time he got hurt.