He had pulled me out of the show except in the summer and I stayed with Nana for school. He said that forging friendships with people my own age and graduating with those friends was more important than some silly Wild West show. Little things he did like that instilled a sense of worth and belonging in me.
I met my Monica there. She helped me realize why I always felt like an outsider and understand my feelings. I felt out of place because I was attracted to girls and thought I was supposed to hide it. It was all so confusing to me until she opened my eyes. She was my first true love. I really thought we'd be together forever.
That is until I enlisted and she dumped me with a letter while I was in Basic Training. I'm not sure I ever got over that, and that's why I've never come home since then. I can't be too mad at her though, since she helped me realize who I was and be proud of the person I had become.
I cleaned up and got into some clean fatigues. I'd have to drop by Dad's and dig up some civvies to wear, besides a couple t-shirts I didn't have much that wasn't Army issue. It wasn't too late so I said, “I'm going to go check on Starfire and Dad's place. I might be out late.” The sad look on her face as she nodded made me stutter step. I took a deep breath and hustled out.
I looked around for a map in Crystal's car and harrumphed in defeat. I didn't own a cell, I'd have to hit a gas station for a map. I powered the car up and almost chuckled. A big ol' map popped up on the console. Civilian cars have on-board GPS like military vehicles now? Buck Rogers here we come. I remember only BMW and the other high-end car manufacturers had them back in the day.
I entered my Dad's address and started on the route displayed. He had ten acres just past Bellevue and Eastgate, not quite to Issaquah. I found it in fifteen minutes. I sat there in the driveway looking at the little single story rancher and the stables behind it. It looked an awful lot like our old place in Vancouver and I smiled at that fact.
I parked and looked at the place. Porch light and driveway lights on made it look like someone lived here. A sharp pain hit my chest. Nobody lived here now. I sighed and got out and walked up to the door, it was locked so I fished out my old keychain, there was a key Dad had sent me to replace my old house key. I unlocked the door and stepped in. I looked around. It smelled like old leather and oil. That was what Dad used to call a real man's cologne... Sweat and hard work.
I couldn't do it. I stepped back out and re-locked the door, then I stepped around back and went into the stable as I normalized my breathing. The four trick horses for the show were there and at the end, my heart sped up as I looked into the stall. A brown muzzle with a white star pattern leaned over the rail and nuzzled me, then she nuzzled my pocket. She remembered me!
I leaned my forehead against hers as I stroked her neck. “Hi girl. Sorry, I don't have any sugar for you. Next time, I promise.” I took a minute to brush out her mane. She looked to be in great shape, I wondered if Dad had her rode while I was gone. I put a scoop of oats in her feed bag for her, for a treat, then went back to the SUV.
Why did it feel like a car was parked on my chest and why couldn't I let myself feel Dad's loss? Because McKenzie, you're nothing but a killing machine. God I needed a drink. I started the car and headed back into Seattle. I saw some neon, a bar, a club. They'd have alcohol. I stopped the motor in the parking lot of a joint called the Steam Plant Club and hopped out.
I started to turn away from the door at the sign that proclaimed a ten dollar cover charge. God dammit that's just stupid. I'll just find a little tavern somewhere. I was stopped by a deep voice. “Infantry?” I looked back at the huge bouncer, the guy must have been three hundred pounds of solid muscle, a real mountain of a man. He had a military bearing.
I looked down at my BDUs and nodded with a “Forty-second, Hooah!” He just opened the door with a smirk as he said, “Thought something smelled bad. Marines, first division.”
I nodded at the man with a smirk and switched to the “Oorah!” of the Marines.
He chuckled and smiled as I walked in as he said, “Watch it ground pounder.”
Holy shit on a puma was that not my kind of place. Maybe back before I graduated, not that I was old enough back then. This was some sort of pop dance club wonderland. I felt old suddenly, all these twenty somethings strutting around. Ah, but wait, a bar!
I slid into a seat in the shadows at the corner of the bar and I dropped a couple twenties in front of me. The bartender made his way over and I nodded at him and said, “Something strong, keep 'em coming until I'm tapped.” He nodded and took the cash and poured me a shot of jack. I tossed it back and felt the smooth burn of it down my throat. He refilled it and I sat back and nursed that one a little, waiting for the buzz to kick in.
Huh, now there's something you don't expect to see. I grinned at the dance floor where couples of all types danced, male couples, female couples, male and female couples. I read about the progress in gay equality in the states in my absence over the years. It is one thing to read about it and another to actually see it. And no haters around. I had to smile. Hell I was just happy I enrolled after Don't Ask Don't Tell was abolished.
I turned down a few offers to dance with a couple guys and one gal who didn't look old enough to be drinking. I was nursing a good buzz on my third shot. I switched to beer.
I just sat back to people watch, trying to keep my thoughts off of why I was back in the States. Most of these people were just having the time of their lives except a few, you could see things like loneliness, insecurity, or sorrow in their eyes. The eyes never lie.
I had slowed way down as the night progressed, and switched to water, letting the alcohol work itself out of my system slowly, drinking and driving just isn't a smart thing. It was twenty-two hundred hours, I'd give it two hours more before I headed back to Nana's.
I made a phone with my fingers and shook it at the bartender. He slid a cell to me. I grinned, why was I expecting a land line? I called Nana to let her know I'd be home just after midnight then slid the phone back and nodded a thanks to the man.
I looked around for the latrine and saw it past some tables at the other end of the bar. I mumbled, “Time to make a liquid deposit.”
I started making my way through the crowd and as I passed some tables I froze as I heard the voice of an angel complaining, “Nah, I think I'll just go home Betts. This just really isn't my scene.”
My heart sped up. No way in hell. But there was no mistaking that rich and raspy voice that just seeped sweet honey. I looked in the direction it came from. There were two tables one with three guys the other with a couple of women. I stepped near the table and as quietly as I could, but still be heard over the music, I said, “Valkyrie One, Bugbat One.”
The redhead with her back to me spun around fast enough to give herself whiplash, with eyes as wide as saucers. She stared at me in shock looking me up and down with a small smile quirking on her lips, “Dead Shot?”
Now, you could have knocked me over with a feather right then and there. She looked every inch an avenging angel. She had that wavy dark red hair, a generous helping of freckles and some of the greenest eyes I had ever laid my own on. I saw excitement in her eyes. Eyes don't lie. She reminded me of that girl with a bow and arrow in that cartoon movie... Brave? Hey, don't judge, we got iTunes and steaming video in camp.
I saluted and confirmed, “Ma'am.”
She giggled and grabbed my hand that was saluting and pulled it down. “Put that silly thing away sugar, you might put someone's eye out with it. I'm civilian.” Then she looked around quickly, taking stock of where we were, who was around, and then glanced me up and down again.
She dragged me to a chair at their table. I didn't miss that she was with a stunning blonde, which put a damper on my pounding heart for some reason. “Sit, sit. What are you doing here?”
I opened my mouth but before I could answer she looked over at her friend and said, “Betts, this is...” She paused then looked at me with a silly half smile. “My God, I don't know
your name.”
I grinned oh yeah. I was just an asset to her, I just figured they knew our real names, I guess not. I was simply Bugbat One and Dead Shot to her. Just like she was Valkyrie One to me. I offered, “Specialist McKenzie Meyers.”
Her smile got bigger and she only turned half way back to her friend, but keeping her eyes on me, causing my pulse to quicken again. How was my angel here? “McKenzie.” She said it softly almost like she was tasting testing it, she nodded almost imperceptibly and said louder, “This is McKenzie. We work together.” Then she broke eye contact and added, “Kenzie girl, this is my cousin Betty.” Her southern accent was a little more pronounced now.
This caused me to grin. Her cousin. Why the hell did that matter to me? Because you are a jealous idiot McKenzie, that's why.
I looked at Betty and offered my hand across the table. “A pleasure.”
She let go of my hand and said, “Likewise. You're strong.” She rubbed her hand, but had a genuine smile as she looked between Valkyrie One and me.
I felt self-conscious and sat on my hands. “Sorry.”
She shook her head. “Don't be.”
I turned back to the grinning redhead and tilted my head, raising an eyebrow in question. She got the hint and barked out a smoky laugh then offered her hand. “Katie, Katie DeLong.” I shook her hand a little more carefully, but she wasn't having any of that and tightened her grip. Fair enough. I shook with my regular grip and this seemed to please her. I repeated her name a few times in my head, she did look like a Katie.
Then without letting go of my hand she tilted her head and squinted an eye. “I'm not sure we're supposed to know each other outside of operations.”
My heart sank but I admitted, “I was wondering that too. It just shocked the bejesus out of me when I heard your voice as I walked past.”
She held up a finger to Betty and me and stepped away from the table with her cellphone to her ear. I don't know why but I found it endearing that she was just a bitsy gal, maybe five foot one if she stretched.
I fidgeted nervously and nodded at Betty, who was grinning like a fool now. I noticed that they had honest to God sugar cubes for the coffee at the tables there instead of a little sugar or sweetener packets and I reached out and pocketed a couple of cubes.
Katie closed her phone and sat, pulling her chair closer to mine. “That's that. So long as we do not discuss operations we are free to fraternize.”
My donkey sounding laugh slipped out and I asked, “Is that what we're doing? Fraternizing?” She rolled her eyes at me playfully, she was a firecracker. I grinned.
Betty stood suddenly. “McKenzie, Katie here was just wanting to leave the club, but I wanted to dance some more. Would it be inconvenient if I asked you to drive her home?”
Katie looked at her and blushed, it looked really good on her face. “Betts, you are about as subtle as a bull moose in a chandelier factory.”
I just kept looking back and forth between the two not knowing what to say. Betty just started walking off saying, “Good, now that that's settled. Don't wait up girl.”
We both watched her walk off then we turned to each other with shocked and confused looks on our faces. Then she barked out her smoky laugh again. She leaned on the table with her elbows, putting her head cutely on her balled up fists. “I guess that means you're my ride tonight Kenz.”
I smirked. “There are far worse things in this world.”
A shadow passed over her sparkling eyes as she nodded. “Yes. Yes there are.” Then she brightened up. “Just what are you doing in Seattle? Last time I saw the top of your head last week, you were in the middle of Africa.”
Suddenly I remembered why I was here and my smile disappeared. “Personal business.”
She hopped up suddenly and looped an arm in mine and pulled me off the chair. “You can tell me all about it as we go then.” She stopped a second and looked up as an almost predatory smile appeared on her plump lips. “You are a tall one aren't you?”
I let her drag me out of the club and the sound pressure decreased almost exponentially. My ears had a slight buzz going on from the absence of the loud music. The jarhead at the door gave an appreciative nod as we walked past. I just rolled my eyes at him and he raised his hands up in surrender. That's right Marine, Army all the way! Then I gave him a slight nod of thanks.
I looked down at her, she seemed a happy sort. I brought her to the car and paused. “I really shouldn't be driving for a couple hours. Let me call a cab.”
She tightened her grip on my arm possessively and said, “No. Then let's walk a while until you are ok to drive. It will give us time to talk.” God God, I'd go anywhere she wanted so long as she kept speaking with that heavenly voice!
Chapter 5 – Breakdown
We somehow wound up down near Pike's Place, sitting on some grass by the parking structure, looking down across the Sound. Katie was so easy to talk to, I felt I already knew her. Probably because she has watched over me for over five years. We have exchanged short banter during slow portions of patrols over the com channel. This felt more like two old friends catching up. But I don't generally feel so warm around friends, her closeness was definitely affecting me in pleasant ways.
She had weaseled out of me the reason for my visit and I said, “I think I'm broken though. I can't bring myself to cry. Maybe I've shed too much blood to feel anymore.”
She tilted her head as she looked up at me, like she was taking me in all over again. Then she got a cute little crease between her eyes like she was thinking really hard and leaned up and gently kissed me on the lips. Then she shook her head and said with surety, “No that's not it. Did you feel that?”
Good God McKenzie you're a soldier, stop blushing like a damn schoolgirl! I squeaked out a “Yes.” As I looked down at my feet shyly and nodded. Woman up Kenz! It was that moment that I realized that I had only ever dated one person in my life. Why is my mind bringing that up now at all times? I just got even more nervous.
She smiled. “Good.” And then hugged tighter onto my arm and just laid her head on my shoulder. I relaxed a little and she added, “It will come when it is supposed to sugar. Grief is an odd thing like that.” I chanced laying my head on top of hers as we watched the lights of the ships reflectrd in the water. Her hair smelled faintly of lilacs.
I checked my watch, it was almost midnight so I said, “Want to meet someone?”
She pulled away to regard me and nodded with a smile. So I stood and helped her up, she weighed next to nothing. She looped her hands around my biceps again, stroking it with her thumbs. I grinned, realizing that she liked my muscles.
We got back to the Steam Plant and got in the SUV. I drove her back to my Dad's and we walked into the stable. The night lights there cast long shadows as we peeked into the stalls. She was grinning like a child. Then we got to Starfire.
She had her head immediately hanging over the stall door, seeking my pocket. I laughed and pulled out the sugar cubes that I had pilfered from the Steam Plant for her, then stroked her between her eyes as she munched them. I said, “Starfire, let me introduce you to the voice of an angel, Katie. Katie, this is my oldest friend, Starfire. Dad's been taking care of her for me while I've been deployed.”
That struck me hard suddenly and I started hyperventilating. Starfire had lost dad too. She was his ultimate expression of love to me and he wasn't here anymore. I put my back against the stable wall and slid down it. Katie knelt beside me and asked with concern lacing her voice, “Kenzie girl?”
And I broke. I couldn't hold it. I started sobbing so hard my chest hurt. I couldn't breathe. I felt Katie pull me to her shoulder and I cried for my father. I kept whispering, “He's gone. Oh God, he's gone.” As Valkyrie One once again watched over me.
***
I'm not sure how long I cried but eventually I could breathe again. I brought myself under control and wiped my eyes and pushed away from Katie gently. Ashamed of my outburst. I said in a strained voice, “I'm so
rry.” I pushed all my emotions aside and stood.
She shook her head and looked angry, and chastised me with a definite southern accent, “Don't you dare go all soldier on me lady! You needed that. Don't go all stone cold now!”
I blinked at her and she reached up and cupped my cheek with a hand and smirked as she said wryly, “It's nice to know that the unstoppable Dead Shot is human too. Means I got a chance.”
Huh, wha? I blinked at her. She smiled back, taking charge. “How long you here for?”
I shrugged. “Less than two weeks before I ship off to Chad again.”
She nodded. “Then I'd like to hang around a bit with you. Get to know you a little better. Give you someone to talk this through with. I have some vacation time I've saved up over the past five years.”
She didn't take leave either? Was Guardian One in the Seattle area? I thought about it, she had watched over the Bugbats since we were formed after SandBadger. Was she requesting my team's missions? I'd have to ask later. I wiped my eyes one last time and mumbled, “Bawling like a fucking girl.”
She narrowed her eyes when I cursed. I'm so used to being around other soldiers, profanity is just part of the way we speak. I made a mental note to curb the impulse around her. She bumped my hip with hers. “And, you are a girl sugar.” She glanced back at my butt and bit her lower lip and almost purred in that raspy voice, “All girl.” Damn!
I took a deep cleansing breath and I said, “Let's get you home before the pumpkin police go searching.” She snorted and looped an arm in mine again.
We hopped in the car and she put her hand out wiggling her fingers. “Cell.”
I shrugged. “Not much use for one in Chad.”
She rolled her eyes and pulled a pen and paper from her purse, then wrote something as she said, “We're gonna have to do something about that.” Then she handed me the paper. It had her name and phone number. There was a cute little heart over the I in Katie. I pocketed it with an excited smile.
Dead Shot Page 4