by Tonya Kappes
EIGHTEEN
“You mean to tell me that Nicki came to town to pretend to steal the watch, which she had Bobby Ray hold until she came looking for it?” Dottie asked from her desk in the campground office.
Both of us were pretty pleased with the reservations at the campground. The season was changing to fall, which happened to be my favorite season in Kentucky. As a child I remembered how the green leaves made a beautiful painting across the state as they changed to red, orange, and yellow. I’d yet to be at Happy Trails in the fall and I could only imagine what Daniel Boone National Park looked like. It was something I was looking forward to.
Dottie handed me the final reservation to put into the computer.
“Yes. Can you believe it? Bobby Ray was just at the right spot at the right time.” I typed away as fast as I could. I’d been waiting for tonight for a long time and I needed to get out of here to get ready. “Norman and Camille were actually an item.”
It’d come out that Camille had stopped seeing Ralphie because of Norman. Norman had used his slick salesman skills to talk Camille into convincing Tammy Jo to make her the beneficiary of the insurance policy. When Camille started to get nervous about it, she was going to come clean to Tammy Jo about Norman’s plan because Camille had really grown to love and care for Fifi and Tammy Jo.
“After Camille was found dead, Ralphie went to Norman and told Norman that he knew his little scheme. The day I was there to clean, Norman was there to try to get Tammy Jo to make him the beneficiary because he tried to claim he got better coverage since he was the owner of the insurance agency.” I hit the send button on the computer which sent the reservation to the calendar on the website, showing those days were booked. “Norman wasn’t about to let Ralphie ruin his chances, so Ralphie became an unfortunate victim.”
“Let me get this straight, even with Nicki hiding the watch, the insurance would cover it? Either way, Norman would benefit from it.” I could see the wheels in Dottie’s head churning as she tried to put the pieces together.
“Yeah. Nicki was always planning on giving the watch back. She’d planted one of those Tracphones in Bobby’s backpack with a fake text on it going to no one. She’d put a text on there like it was from him saying he’d scored the watch.” It seemed so unreal to me that Nicki thought this was going to work.
“Now I feel bad I was so mean to Bobby Ray.” Dottie’s feelings for Bobby were changing and that made me happy since he didn’t appear to be leaving anytime soon.
“Yeah. She thought he was really just a hiker that no one would ever find. She planned on meeting him to get the watch back and letting him go on his way. She told Hank she was going to say that she confronted him and he took off, dropping the watch behind him,” I told Dottie what I’d overheard after Hank had made it to the crime scene.
“That’s just crazy.” Dottie rubbed her head. “Harrison always said Nicki only loved him for the money he gave her. When he and Tammy got divorced, Nicki never came around him. Even on his death bed.”
“Nicki only wanted to be in good graces with Tammy Jo so she could get in on some inheritance. She has so many loans from medical school, she’s drowning in debt. Norman just wanted to scam her to get rich. Two different crimes that Hank Sharp is going to have to figure out.”
Dottie and I looked at the office door when it jerked open.
“Tammy Jo,” I greeted her and pushed the off button on the computer monitor. “Fifi,” my voice escalated when I saw the fluffy white poodle squirm out of Tammy Jo’s arms and bounce over to me. I bent down and picked her up. “I’ve missed you.”
Fifi’s back end wiggled with joy as she licked my face.
“Here you go.” Tammy Jo trotted in and dropped Fifi’s pink bag on my desk. “She’s all yours.”
“All mine?” I asked with an uneasy feeling.
“Yep. You let her wander on the wrong side of the tracks. Now her problem is your problem.” Tammy Jo’s frustration was rising with each word.
“What are you talking about?” I was all sorts of confused.
“Rosco? She’s pregnant.” The lines on her forehead creased as her scowl at me deepened. “I can’t insure her now that you’ve ruined her. So, she’s all yours. Besides. . .” Her features hardened. “She’s not been eating since she came home. I think she missed you.”
“No.” I held Fifi out at arm’s length. “I don’t have time for a dog.”
“What about your insurance on cloning and her offspring?” It was strange to me that she’d spend these past four years grooming a dog and taking the time get all the paperwork, insurance, and place in the KKA to just give Fifi to me.
“I’m going to cash it in and take a much-needed vacation far away from Normal. Like I said, she’s your problem now.” Tammy Jo twirled around on the balls of her feet and didn’t even look back on her way out the door.
Dottie Swaggert was bent over, laughing herself silly.
“I’m glad you think this is funny.” I put Fifi on the ground and she sat down, looking up at me with those big, round black eyes. I swear she was smiling. “What am I going to do with a dog?”
“Whatever she wants.” Dottie snorted.
“What am I going to do with her tonight?” I looked up at the clock on the wall. I had to get going. “I’ve been waiting for my date with Ty for what seems like forever.”
“I guess his boys are going to watch her for you.” Dottie grabbed her keys off her desk. “I’m going home for the night. I’ll see you two in the morning.”
“I hope you know you’re taking a puppy!” I yelled at Dottie on her way out of the office.
Fifi stood up and let out a little yip before she did a couple of circles.
“If you’re going to be living here, you’re going to be dirty and tired and have no leash.” I unclipped the harness from around her and stuck it in the bag. “No more vitamins or fancy food,” I told her like she understood me.
She yipped a few more times.
“Fine.” I swept the bag into the garbage can and flipped the light off on our way out.
It was like she did understand everything I said because she darted ahead of me towards the camper. It was a pleasant surprise that she was waiting for me on the steps of the camper like she knew it was her home.
“You are smart.” I couldn’t help but smile at her little white paws knowing it was going to kill me to try to keep her clean.
I opened the door to the camper and she darted in like she owned the place. Down in my heart, it did feel like she belonged. I’d never admit that the past couple of nights since she’d been back with Tammy Jo, I was a little sad. It was a little lonely and for a second - only a second - I’d thought about going to visit the local animal shelter to pick out a dog. I’d never imagined it’d be a poodle, much less Fifi.
“I’ve got a very important date tonight,” I told her, but she’d already curled up on the blanket on the couch. “I think you’re going to fit in just fine here.”
I walked over to her and ran my finger over her belly. She lifted her head and looked at me, blinking those cute eyes. There was a moment between us and my heart fluttered.
“You rest, little mama.” It was then and there that I realized I’d not been alone this entire time I’d been in Normal. I’d spent the better part of my time here trying to take care of everyone around me and now I had a sweet dog to take care of. “I’ve got a dinner date with Ty Randal.”
I had just enough time to get a shower and slip into a little black dress that I’d kept from my past along with the perfect pair of strappy sandals. My face was slightly tan from the last days of summer, which let me use minimal makeup. I swiped some bright red lipstick on and flat-ironed my hair straight just in time for my date to arrive.
“I can’t wait to see where you’re taking me.” I flung the door open. “I’m starving.”
“Wow,” Hank Sharp was standing outside with a boutique of flowers in his hand. “You look great, Mae.”
“I stopped by for some cahoots.” He grinned, holding the flowers out to give me.
My heart sank into my stomach. I glanced over his shoulder and Ty Randal stood behind him about ten feet away.
Hank looked at me and turned around.
“Ty.” Hank took a step back. “Did I interrupt something?”
“Mae,” Ty said my name and walked up. “I think Timmy is getting sick. He’s got a fever and I’ve not gone to the grocery yet.”
By the way he was talking, I knew our dinner date was going to have to wait some more.
“What can I do?” I asked.
“I wanted to know if you had any Tylenol?” He asked and smiled. His face softened and I smiled back.
“Yes. Let me get it.” I shut the door to get the medicine.
I pulled the curtain over the kitchen sink back just enough for me to see out. The two men were standing there, silence between them.
I opened the door and walked down the two steps to give the medicine to Ty.
“Here you go. Keep it. Please let me know if I can do anything else.” Our fingers touched and we looked at each other same time. “Maybe another night.”
“Definitely,” Ty said before he turned back to go and take care of his little brother.
The sun was setting a little earlier than normal, which was signaling the end of summer. Soon it would be dark and all the campfires would be lit, the smell of food, wood, and outdoors would blanket the campground.
“Are those for me?” I asked Hank to break the uncomfortable space between us.
“Yes. I’m sorry. I really feel like I’ve interrupted something.” He handed me the flowers. “I mean, you look like you’re going out.”
“Nah.” I tipped my head towards the camper. “Come in. I’ve got something to show you.”
If anyone would get a kick out of what Tammy Jo Bentley had given me, Hank Sharp would.
He followed me up the steps. While he saw my surprise, I looked towards Ty’s camper before I shut the door. He’d stopped before he went inside his camper. I wasn’t sure if it was one of the last lightning bugs of the season or if it was a twinkle in Ty’s eye, but I’d like to think it was the later.
“Mae?” Hank called me from inside.
“Coming.” I shut the camper door behind me.
RECIPES
Bobby Ray Bond’s Campfire Pigs in a Blanket
Ingredients:
1 can crescent dough
2 tbsp. mustard
8 hot dogs
Directions:
Separate crescent dough into triangles. Spread a very thin layer of mustard over each piece of dough then place a hot dog on top. Roll up, so the dough is wrapped around the hot dog, then skewer each dog.
Cook over a campfire until the crescent is golden and the dough is cooked through, 10 to 15 minutes.
Campfire Waffles and Peanut Butter Cones
Ingredients:
6 waffle cones
mini marshmallows
Reese's miniature cups
Reese's pieces
peanut butter
Directions:
Stuff cones with marshmallows, Reese's cups, Reese’s pieces, and peanut butter.
Wrap cones with foil and throw on the campfire until the candies are melted, about 5 minutes.
Remove from heat and let rest until cool enough to handle.
Foil Breakfast Pack
Ingredients:
6 large eggs
1/2 c. milk
kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1 lb. refrigerated hash browns (thawed if frozen)
1 c. chopped ham
2 c. shredded Cheddar
Butter, for foil
Chopped fresh chives, for garnish
Directions:
In a large resealable plastic bag, crack eggs, add milk, and season with salt and pepper. Stir in hash browns, ham, and cheese.
Butter four squares of aluminum foil and divide mixture among the pieces of foil. Fold tightly and seal.
Place packets over campfire or grill and cook until eggs are cooked and hash browns tender and crispy, about 10 minutes.
Garnish with chives and serve.
Cleaning Hacks:
Get Rid of Rust Spots:
If you notice spots of rust forming on your silverware, there is a simple solution! Soak your stained silverware in a glass of lemon juice, and then rinse them off before drying. As you hand dry them, the rust stains should magically wipe away!
Tortilla Chip Fire Starters:
Got a bunch of wood, but can’t get it lit? Try using some tortilla chips to get it going. They burn like crazy and can help you get a roaring fire going in no time. This will actually work with most fried chips, as it is the oils in the chips that are flammable. Doritos and Fritos seem to work especially well.
Sage as Mosquito Repellent:
One of my favorite things about camping in the American West is the smell of sage. Sometimes on long whitewater rafting trips I will tuck a small sprig of sage into my life jacket strap so I can smell the fresh desert perfume as I float down the river. But sage also has some practical uses, and one of them is as a mosquito repellent. Just pick a few small branches and toss them in the campfire to help keep the mosquitoes from bothering you. Now you can relax and enjoy the fire instead of spending the night swatting at those pesky little bloodsuckers.
Turn the page to see how Mae West became the owner of Happy Trails Campground by reading chapter one of BEACHES, BUNGALOWS & BURGLARIES.
BEACHES, BUNGALOWS & BURGLARIES
ONE
“A campground?” I gulped back a good hissy fit, because no one could ever underestimate the power of a good hissy fit, something I’ve tried really hard not to do in years. “As in tiny little metal houses and port-a-potties?”
“Well, I think they have a toilet in them,” said Stanley Shelton, my lawyer.
He eased back in his big fancy, wingback leather chair with his elbows resting on the wooden arms and his fingers drumming against each other. The grey pinstriped suit was of the finest materials and the nice crystal cufflinks were the touch it needed that screamed successful lawyer.
“I think the toilet is small, but you’re small.” He rubbed his hand over his bald head and then proceeded to draw his hand over his mustache and beard.
I tried as hard as I could to keep it together, but my composure was under attack.
“What about my house in the Hamptons? I’ll just go there.” I let out a sigh of relief. It was a perfect plan. “I’m desperately going to miss the New York City apartment, but I need a break.”
Unfortunately, it wasn’t going to change the fact that my now ex-husband was in jail for a Ponzi scheme. He kept me busy by sending me to the spa, salon, and shopping for most of our two-year marriage. Not to mention, I’d cashed out my 401K to help him start a side business where he said we’d be partners. Little did I realize it was partners in a crime.
“And the house is gone.” Stanley’s jaw set. “I’m going to need the keys to your car and trade you for these.” He dangled a very small key from a flamingo keychain in the air.
“What’s that? A moped key?” I joked.
“It’s to your house and your new car.” He glanced out the window of his fancy office that was filled with plaques and certificates that boasted of his high education.
“You can’t even look at me? Because I clearly remember when we were donating to your son-in-law’s election fund and visiting our friends in the community who ended up being big donors, that you had no issue looking at me. And now that my bank account has taken a hit, you won’t even look at me?” I questioned, with a slight bitter taste in my mouth.
“It didn’t take a hit. There’s no bank account. The FBI seized it all.” Stanley made no effort to make me feel the slightest bit better about my situation.
“Where is
my new house? The Upper-East Side? Not that that’s a bad place to live, but not like where we live now.”
“Ummm,” He licked his lips. “Out there.” He pointed to the window.
I sat up a little straighter in my chair and leaned on the arm of the leather chair.
“There’s nothing out there but an RV; a small one at that.” I laughed and eased back into the chair. “Wait, you mean that. . .” My voice trailed off when I noticed he didn’t find amusement in my teasing about the camper.
“I’m afraid that there’s no money to give you. The only thing free and clear are the camper and the campground.” He stood up and walked around the desk. He eased down on the edge. “I’m sorry, Mae. You don’t deserve this.”
“Are you sure?” I asked.
I mean, I was having a real bad day before I got here, but this just made it almost unbearable. I rested my elbow on the arm of the chair and covered my mouth with my hand. I twisted my head to the side so Stanley couldn’t see my tearing up. There was a glimpse of my silhouette in the door of the mini-refrigerator.
My hazel eyes were sunken with half-moon dark circles under them. I’d not taken time to straighten my long brown curly hair and the humidity in the air wasn’t making it any better.
“Mae?” Stanley said my name. I blinked a few times. I didn’t recognize the image staring back at me.
“Sorry,” I apologized and forced a demure smile.
I was having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I had nothing. No family. No marriage. No place to live. No car. Nothing. “I mean, Paul is a jerk and I’d like to kill him, but he left me with nothing?” I hugged my designer bag to my chest.
That scum, I couldn’t believe that I was so dumb that I put everything in his name.
“He owed a lot of people money and some still don’t have their retirement back. You’re lucky I could salvage this in the settlements since he did have it in your name alone.” He sounded as if I needed to thank Paul. Stanley picked the flamingo keychain up and once again stuck it in my face. “The campground is in Normal, Kentucky.”