by Aiden Bates
“Very good. And if I’m being honest… Well, I imagine you probably helped with it.”
“Me?” Bennet pressed his fingertips to his chest, just to one side of his shirt’s buttons. “What did I do?”
I took a step closer to him, narrowing the gap between my body and his just a little more. “You did plenty. Reminded me that I’ve still got lots of life in me, for one.” Another step closer. “Made me feel like an alpha again for the first time in a long time.”
“Oh, well, I’m glad, Logan.” Bennet’s voice was gentle. Sweet. Just like the rest of him. “That’s chemistry for you, I guess.”
“Chemistry is one word for it.” A final step. We were practically toe to toe now, and with a slow, steady leaning in on my part, nearly lip to lip as well.
I braced myself for the kiss, closing my eyes and breathing in a deep breath like I was about to go head under water. Off the diving board and right back into the deep end of the lust I’d felt for Bennet that first day he’d gone into heat. Back into the place where my mind had been desperate to return to ever since I kissed him goodbye on his doorstep after his heat had finally broken.
I wanted to feel him again. Needed it. Needed to revisit that tangible eagerness, the sense of longing and care I hadn’t been able to share with anyone in so long.
But after a beat, I opened my eyes to find Bennet’s fingers pressing against my chest. Not to clutch at my t-shirt and pull me against him. Instead, pushing me away.
“Logan, I…” His lip trembled as he took a step back, eyes flicking back and forth across my face like a panicked bunny rabbit staring down a big bad wolf and desperately looking for an escape route. “I…can’t.”
“Of course,” I said, shifting my demeanor immediately. Any semblance of passion or need was whisked away from my face without even putting up a fight. “I’m so sorry. I thought… Well, doesn’t matter what I thought. After your heat…” I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck and hoping I’d find forgiveness in his gaze. Trust me to finally find an omega I wanted and immediately fuck it up. “I shouldn’t have made assumptions like that.”
“What?” Bennet blinked, then took a step forward again. This time, when he placed his fingers on my chest they were shaking—but they stroked the fabric of my t-shirt with a tenderness I hadn’t expected and couldn’t imagine I deserved, given how forward I’d just been. “Logan, no, that’s not it at all. God, I’m sorry. I should have said something. It’s just… I had an alpha before, about four years ago. Did, ah… Did Teddy ever mention Chris to you?”
“Chris…” I scratched my head, then shook it. Negative. Not that it mattered. There was only one reason I could think of that Bennet would bring up another alpha after I’d tried to put the moves on him: I’d made my move too little too late. “Suppose I never really kept up with who Teddy’s friends were dating. Sorry. You two…back together now, I suppose?”
“Oh, fuck no.” Bennet shook his head vehemently. “I would never… I couldn’t ever…” He glanced at the lawn chairs sitting near the cooler and inclined his head toward them. “Do you mind if we sit down?”
His face was pale, devoid of the usual flush I found in his cheeks when I caught him looking at me, and there was pain in his eyes that looked like it had been lurking just beneath the depths of his baby blues for a long while.
“Of course. Let me get the steaks off the grill?”
I pulled the steaks out in record time, tenting them and the rest of the food on a plate beneath some tin foil as Bennet took a seat. They’d be a little more like medium rare at this point, but it meant little to me compared to whatever secrets Bennet was about to tell.
Pulling up the lawn chair next to him, I settled in and nodded toward the cooler again. “Not too late to grab a beer, you know.”
Bennet smiled sadly. “No…thanks, Logan, but that’s okay. I don’t have to be drunk to tell this story. At least…not anymore.”
“So, this Chris.” I furrowed my brow. “Is he threatening you or something? You need me to do anything, say something to him, scare him off?”
Bennet laughed thinly, shaking his head. “No, no. Not anymore. But thanks. It means a lot that you’d offer. Luckily, Chris is long gone now. But four years ago…”
He hesitated, glancing at the gate behind me like he was considering bolting again. Whatever this Chris had done to him obviously made Bennet uncomfortable with intimacy now the intensity of his heat wasn’t taking his mind off things. Even, to my dismay, when it came to me.
I reached out to him slowly, folding my hand over his and pressing it down atop his knee. “Take the time you need. It’s okay. The steaks and I aren’t going anywhere.”
Bennet hung his head. “I should have known better. I think I do now. But growing up with my dad being the way he was… I guess I didn’t have a good sense of what separated a good alpha from a bad one. In hindsight, there were so many warning signs… But you have to understand, Logan. I was young, naive and in love, and he was charming. So, so charming.” He swallowed dryly, his Adam’s apple bobbing uncomfortably in his throat. “At least at first.”
“He hit you?” The knuckles of my free hand tensed as I dug my fingers into the arm of my lawn chair. “Hurt you?”
“Not… Not at first,” Bennet repeated. “But he always had a temper. I knew that from the beginning. Only, he told me I wasn’t like anyone he’d ever met before. That I helped him with it. Made him better. He was…protective toward me. Possessive. Especially…” His eyes flashed up at me, a darkness dampening the brightness of his blues. “Especially when I was in heat.”
I nodded. I knew what that feeling was like. When Bennet had been in heat and by my side, I would’ve torn out the throat of any man who’d so much as looked at him the wrong way. Even as I stared at him now, I wasn’t sure I still wouldn’t do exactly the same—in heat or not.
“That sounds…intense,” I said, not sure of how else to respond. Emotions were never my strong suit, but it was brave of Bennet to even bring this up to me. I wanted to do right by him. Be supportive. Show him I cared.
“The longer I was with him, the worse it got. Every heat that came on, he just seemed to get crazier and crazier about me. And at the same time more…paranoid, I guess. The first time he started suggesting that I was cheating on him behind his back, I thought maybe it was just simple jealousy. That’s understandable, right?” Bennet darted his tongue out between his lips as his shoulders raised in a shrug. “What omega doesn’t want his alpha to be a little jealous from time to time?”
“But it wasn’t just jealousy.”
“No. No, it was so much worse than that. He started getting so controlling. Didn’t want me to go anywhere alone. Before I knew it, he didn’t want me to go anywhere at all. And his temper… It got worse and worse every week. One night…”
Bennet’s voice broke, and I squeezed his hand in a way I hoped was comforting. “You don’t have to keep telling me if you don’t want to, sweetheart.”
Bennet closed his eyes for a moment, and then looked up at me, a mixture of pain and trust swimming in their depths. “One night when I was in heat, I wanted to go to the store. Pick up some Eggos. It was stupid, but…” He laughed humorlessly. “You know how my cravings get.”
“And he didn’t let you?”
“He didn’t want to. Kept insisting I was cheating on him. Sneaking out to see another alpha. And then…” Bennet shook his head. “He got aggressive. Then violent. I should have left him so long before that, but by that time there were so many red flags flying I couldn’t even see through them to find my way out the door.”
“It’s not your fault. You know that, don’t you?”
Bennet swallowed again, nodding and looking paler than ever. “I didn’t work up the courage to leave him until after he’d put me in the hospital. Broken arm, concussion… Some internal tearing.” He looked away, staring over the tree line and watching the last rays of light vanish behind it. “Which, after surgery to
keep me from hemorrhaging led to scarring in my womb. That’s why I said I can’t have kids. It’ll probably never happen for me.” When he turned back to glance at me, any previous pain I thought I’d seen in his eyes paled in comparison to the absolute grief I could see in them now. “Anyway, enough of my sob story. Just, since then, being around alphas has made me nervous, is all.”
“I had no idea,” I said, appalled.
It was bad enough, the way Bennet had endured his father’s abuse throughout his entire childhood, but to grow up, get out of it, and find someone he loved only to stumble into the exact same thing all over again? That just seemed like a cruel twist of fate. Something snarling and furious was beating against my ribcage, urging me to track this Chris down and make him pay for what he’d done to Bennet—but before I let that beast out, I stopped myself.
This wasn’t about me. This was about Bennet.
“Thank you for telling me,” I said instead, squeezing his hand again. His skin was clammy and cold beneath mine, but it didn’t matter. My hands were warm enough for the both of us. “I think you’re incredibly brave—strong, too—for getting through all that.”
The smile he forced at that nearly broke my already-malfunctioning heart. “I had help. My friend Mitch, and Teddy, too. It wasn’t like I went through it completely alone.”
“Still… I’ll switch this off, if that’s what you want.” I gestured to myself and the beer cooler—when really I should have just pointed to my dick. “The last thing I want you to feel is unsafe here. With me. Ever. At all.”
“I…” Bennet blinked, his hand twitching beneath mine. Twitching, but not pulling away. “I do feel safe with you, but being with you… It’s a big change, and as much as I realize I have to make some changes, it’s scary, you know?”
I smiled, warmth flushing my skin as he admitted he felt safe around me. “I do know. I don’t have a great history of handling change well. Routine has been my bread and butter since… Well before you were born. I’m used to doing things one way, but I want you to know I like you.”
Bennet stared at me like I’d suddenly grown two heads, then his cheeks tinged pink, just the way I’d come to adore.
“I like you too, but I’m not ready to jump into anything. I think it will take some time for me to really…trust again.”
“That’s okay. If you need to go slow, I can certainly do that. I won’t hurt you, Bennet, you know that, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I know.”
I watched him watch me, and saw a decision flicker in his baby blues.
“So, hypothetically, if we were to just…keep each other company, from time to time…” Bennet’s blush deepened. “Then it would just be a casual kind of thing. Right? Two lonely guys whiling away a few hours with each other?” he asked.
I think it would have been inappropriate to watch my dick start to fill out in my jeans, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t feel it. “I suppose we could do that,” I said.
Bennet’s shoulders eased down into a more comfortable position, the stiffness in his body slowly softening into something more relaxed. “Alright. So, as long as we’re agreed…”
Tilting my head to one side, I rose from my seat and pulled Bennet up out of his. This time, I moved to him just as slowly—but instead of leaning in completely, I made a point of making him meet me halfway.
When his lips met mine, it felt like a victory.
A strange kind of victory. Like winning a war I hadn’t exactly been aware I’d been participating in.
But a victory all the same.
He tasted like butter, garlic and cream—giving me my first indication he might have come over for something more than steak. Made me feel better about trying to kiss him that first time. It hadn’t been me that had been the problem after all. From the sounds of things he’d just needed to talk himself into it. Something I was grateful for, considering how I could now focus on more important things.
Namely, getting into him.
My initial impulse was to take him hard. Use him hard. Make him feel exactly how hard he made me. But as I encircled his wrists with my fingers I knew that holding Bennet down and taking what I wanted from him while he begged me for more wasn’t the right move. Not when he wasn’t in heat anymore. Not this time. Bennet’s revelation about his ex had stirred more inside me than just sympathy. As I kissed him I found my softer side coming out in every slow, pulsating flick of my tongue. In every low sigh, every pleasured moan, every gentle caress.
In turn, Bennet was taking his time with me this go-round. Without his heat to drive him to the brink of madness if I didn’t fill him immediately, intensely, hard and fast, there was an elegance to him now, a sensuality I’d missed before. He let out soft whimpers with every movement our bodies made together as I released his wrists to wrap my arms around his waist. He reached up to smooth his fingertips over the five o’clock shadow roughing up my jawline for the first time since I’d enlisted.
We were gentle. Understanding. Sweet. There was a kindness to every touch shared between us, a kindness we both must have needed in our own ways. Two wounded men, coming together like magnets tuned to opposite poles. Bennet’s past hurts might have long-since healed, but I knew they must have still been aching as he kissed away at my own damaged pride.
We needed each other, I realized. Not like last time. Not because our bodies were screaming at us to tear each other’s clothes off and fuck like wild animals.
This time, it was deeper. More personal. More intimate.
Which didn’t stop us from tearing each other’s clothes off anyway as the kisses intensified—that tentative longing slipping away like the final stray swatches of pink as the sunset sank below the horizon, turning day into night.
We should have made it all the way up to the deck, at the very least, but as he wasn’t on heat there was no need for condoms, so there wasn’t any real need to move from where we were. So we didn’t.
I could feel the desperation growing between us, chest to chest, lips to lips. It was less mind-blowing than before, but at the same time, so much more real. This time, when my cock sprang out of my boxers as Bennet tugged them off of me, it wasn’t his pheromones that were to blame. When I dipped my lips to his neck, licking and sucking at the soft, delicate skin, there was no hormone-addled heat to pin it on.
Not this time.
I lowered him down into the lawn chair, and then pulled his shirt away as my jeans slumped around my hips. His chinos, I pulled off of him with efficiency, and his shoes and boxers got lost in the grass along with them. My cock throbbed as I gazed at him; at his spread legs, his stiff dick that dripped with precum as it pulsed up against his stomach, his parted lips, swollen with my kisses. He was so lovely as he gazed at me in return.
“Please, Logan. Take me. Please.”
I’d never disobeyed an order before, and I wasn’t likely to deny a request—especially not one so sweet that came from an omega so deserving.
If his ex had hurt him to the point of fear, then I knew I wanted to be the alpha who could help him heal from it.
I settled between his legs, putting half my weight on the back of the lawn chair, the other half on the backs of his thighs. His ankles crossed behind me, pulling me closer as I dipped two fingers between the cheeks of his ass. His tight, hot hole tensed and relaxed at my touch. When I pulled my fingers away, they were sticky with his natural lubrication. I moved them against my tongue, tasting him. Salty and sweet, all at once.
“You’re wet for me,” I moaned before pressing my lips against his.
“I want you,” Bennet whispered against my kiss. “Want you so bad, Logan.”
I pushed my tongue into his mouth so he could taste himself on me as I leveled my cock against his ass, thrusting gently until I felt my cockhead pop inside him.
With a shared hiss from both our throats, we reveled in the feel of each other. A slow, deliberate thrust of my hips sent pleasure shooting through me, spreading through my nervous syst
em like wildfire.
He squeezed me like a vice. So tight, so hot, so wet and so in need, it was all I could do not to blow my load then and there.
I clenched my jaw instead, letting out a rough groan before withdrawing and thrusting in again. Harder. Deeper, this time.
Bennet wound his arms around my neck, clinging to me for dear life while I set an increasingly faster pace. The chair beneath us rocked back and forth, the lacquered oak clicking against the patio bricks in the place of a sinfully squeaking bedframe.
“Do you want this?” I gave him a particularly hard thrust, unable to contain myself any longer.
I planned on waiting a beat. Making sure it wasn’t too rough. That my force was just right. But Bennet didn’t even give me a breath before he was gasping and nodding up at me, digging his fingertips into my shoulder blades with urgency.
“Yes,” he said, shuddering beneath me. “Yes—god, Logan, yes please. More.”
More was all I knew how to give him. We rocked together in harmony, our growls and moans rising up between us, unleashed into the night until finally, it all came tumbling together in a flurry of clashing lips and tongues, cock and cum.
I shot into him deep, gasping against his mouth and swallowing up the howl of his own orgasm. With every rope of cum I pumped into him, I felt a corresponding clench of his ass around me. Dragging me even deeper. Milking my seed in.
I should have known then I was in over my head, but in the moments after, I didn’t have the time or space in my mind to think of anything other than how good he smelled, how sweet he tasted, and the way his lips, trembling their way through a smile, sighed over and over again as they sought out mine.
14
Bennet
“Look at you, smiling your way through wiping asses and cleaning bedpans.” Jose nudged me in the ribs with his elbow as I scrubbed my hands clean in the nurses’ station sink. “You’ve got a pretty good attitude for someone who’s worked double shifts all week.”
I glanced over at him as I dried my hands, suddenly all too aware of the way the corners of my mouth were turned up in a soft grin. It had been a good week since I’d told Logan about my sordid past relationship. A perfect week, in fact. I was happy with the arrangement we’d worked out, and as far as I could tell, Logan felt the same. There was no tension between us anymore—except for maybe the good, juicy, sexy kind. No worries to cloud my mind. It was incredible, being with someone who was as, ah…experienced as Logan was. Out of bed and rolling around in it. Work had left me pretty exhausted, but no matter how rough my shifts got, seeing Logan afterward always perked me up enough to make it through the next day.