by Trudy Stiles
“Don’t wait up for me, princess. I’ll be late tonight.” He turns and walks out the door.
Oh. Shit.
Several hours pass and although I’m apprehensive, I’m pleased with myself. I’ve unpacked my one duffle bag, showered, and eaten a healthy meal. I’m so happy to have a ‘home’. I am nervous about starting work in the bar downstairs, but this will be my ticket to a new life. I need to save every dime that I make. I need to be sure that I can make it on my own.
Several hours later, I hear a key jiggling in the apartment door and I slowly back away. Not knowing whom it could be, I’m nervous and cautious.
Tony stumbles in, chuckling. He has a girl behind him and she is giggling as her ample breasts are bouncing up and down.
“Hello, princess. Trixie and I are going to bed. You’ll be OK out here on the couch, right?” He doesn’t wait for my answer as he pushes past me and shuts the door to ‘my’ bedroom.
I have no idea what is happening, but I thought this was my place! I can hear Trixie’s giggles escalate into pleasure and her noises turn animalistic. Tony is grunting like a gorilla as I curl up on the couch using one of my hoodies as a blanket. I cover my ears with a throw pillow and hope this ends quickly.
I fall asleep on the couch wondering if my recent choices were wise and if I should have stayed with the McClintock family in Philadelphia. Even Tobias McClintock didn’t make my skin crawl like Tony. As many times as Toby walked in on me naked or ogled me around the house, I didn’t feel the way I do now. Alone. Confused. Afraid.
I shake my head slowly thinking about the pervert and hope that I made the right choice.
Ding, ding, ding!
I snap out of these awful memories and realize that the bell is ringing and Seth’s food is up.
Shit.
I grab the plates and walk quickly over to his table.
His head is bent down looking at a magazine as I drop the plates in front of him. “Do you need anything else?” I ask with an annoyed tone in my voice.
“No, but I thought you were eating with me.”
“Nope. I’m working. And I’m NOT interested.” I smirk and am happy that for once I hold the power over this conversation. I’m in control. It’s a great feeling.
I turn to walk away and he grabs my arm lightly. I flinch, stop abruptly, and turn around with my finger in the air, “Listen, Seth. You. Don’t. Know. Me. Let go of my arm and eat your fucking lunch!” I’m absolutely furious at this point. I mean, who the fuck does he think he is? Touching me, grabbing me, and demanding that I have a meal with him.
I’m so fed up with this situation, and honestly, all I can think about is getting out of here and going to see Alex at the High Note.
Seth seems flabbergasted. “Tabby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I just thought that since you were alone and this place is empty, you’d want to keep me company.” He looks down at his grilled cheese and tomato sandwich and shakes his head slightly.
Well hell! Now I feel bad. This guy screams ‘nice guy’ and here I am being a total bitch to him. I’m wearing my crazy on my sleeve for all to see.
“It’s OK, Seth. I had a long, hard day.”
I look up at him as he pushes his French fries around the plate. He looks up at me with puppy dog eyes. He’s turning on his charm and I’m falling for it.
“Really, Tabby, I mean no harm. I just would like some companionship. I arrived in Philly six weeks ago and I have yet to crack the social scene. I could use some pointers.”
“Ha!” I say loudly. “Seth, I’ve been here for just a few weeks and I’ve literally had conversations with like four people, other than here at work. I know absolutely nothing about the social scene in Philadelphia and quite honestly, I could give a shit. I work, sleep, work, and sleep again. I can’t be bothered with anything else.”
I turn to walk away and I hear his huff. “Tabitha, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean anything by what I said. I just don’t know anyone, and, well, I can’t live in a city like this without at least trying. I thought I’d try with you since you seem so genuine, but I guess that isn’t happening.” He looks down at his plate and slowly shakes his head. As if I didn’t already feel sorry for him, this gesture is tipping me over the edge.
“Seth, I work in a bookstore over on Spring Street. Why don’t you come check it out and maybe I can get you on the list for a book signing or two?” I smile at him and he immediately looks up at me. I suddenly feel like he played me because his smile is huge as if he just conquered a large country.
“Thanks Tabby,” he says softly while staring into my eyes. “I’ll stop by on Monday.”
I turn away and walk back to the kitchen. I can feel his eyes burning through my back, into my soul.
What is happening?
And why am I excited about it?
~
Several hours later, I finish up with my last customer and stare longingly at the clock. Twenty more minutes and I am so out of here! Seth has been gone for hours and I kind-of miss him. He was genuinely nice without a hint of mystery. I wonder if he’ll show up at the bookstore on Monday. I actually hope that he will.
I shake my head and try to block out these thoughts about Seth. I’m not sure it’s best for me right now to think of the possibilities with either Alex or Seth. I need time to heal. And I’m not sure either one of them will help me get there.
I remove my apron and tuck my tips into the back pocket of my jeans. I made forty-five dollars tonight and that should be enough to pay my cab fare, cover charge and maybe a drink of soda or two.
“Goodnight!” I call to Jeffery our evening cook. “See you next week!”
I walk quickly out of the diner and hail the nearest taxi. It’s a short ride to the High Note and I’m anxious the entire way. Thankfully, there is no line when I arrive. Also, the bouncer isn’t even posted outside yet. I walk right in and begin to scan the crowd and tables for Alex.
A hostess steps in front of me and says, “Can I help you?”
“Yes, please. I’m meeting someone here for dinner. He’s in the band playing tonight. Maybe I’ll just take a seat and wait for him.”
“Sure. How many people are you expecting? “
I shrug my shoulders, “I’m not sure. Maybe the whole band?”
“Follow me. I have the perfect booth for you.” She leads me to a semi-circular booth that could easily fit up to six people.
“Thanks,” I say as I slide in toward the center of the booth.
“Your waitress will be right over to take your drink order. I believe the band is in the back right now. I’ll let them know you’re here.” She winks and skips away.
I try to relax as I look around the bar. Since it’s only seven-thirty, it’s fairly empty. A few families are scattered at various tables enjoying their dinner. There are four men sitting at the bar and from the looks of them, they’ve been there a while. One of them actually appears to be asleep on top of his folded arms.
I chuckle quietly to myself and shake my head a bit.
“Something funny?” I hear Alex ask. I didn’t even see him walk over.
I turn my head quickly to look at him.
“I’m just people watching. I’m a bit amused by the sleeping man at the bar.” I nod towards the bar and Alex turns to observe.
“Lenny is here every day at four o’clock. He spends at least half of his paycheck before he takes his daily nap. He’s a great guy, but clearly is on a toddler’s sleeping schedule.” He laughs heartily and I join him.
He slides into the booth next to me, leaving much of the seat open on his left.
“Did you order anything yet?” he asks.
“Nope, I was waiting for you. And I’m actually on time!” I’m so proud of myself.
“I noticed.”
Our waitress is now standing in front of us.
“What can I get you both to drink?” She pauses and then focuses her attention on Alex. “Hi, Alex,” she says quietly and I swear she batted her eyelashes.
“We’ll both have ice water please. Can we also have some popcorn?”
“Sure.” She smiles and slinks away.
“So, Tabs, how was your day?” he asks in a chipper voice.
“Well, I worked at the diner today, so it was about the same as every other day I work at the diner,” I state vaguely. I smile at him as he slides closer to me and laughs a little.
I can feel his chuckle in my soul. He looks at me and continues to smile. He seems so much more relaxed today. Maybe he is happy with our decision to walk down the ‘friends only’ path.
“You need to spice up your life a little bit Tabby.” He’s so right and I don’t even know how I would go about doing that.
I notice several guys walking toward our booth. They all have varying degrees of smirks on their faces and I can only assume that this is the rest of the band. Oh, shit. I’m not ready for this. I’m not yet comfortable with Alex and now three more are about to invade my space.
Two of them slide into the booth to my right and one slides in next to Alex. I’m pinned in the back center of the booth and I begin to feel my panic rise. I’m already planning my escape route and that’s a bit hard to do when I’m completely closed in. I can feel sweat drip down the back of my neck as my anxiety increases.
Alex can sense a change in my demeanor and he softly places his hand on top of my thigh. He does this to try to calm me down and soothe me. He slowly moves his hand in a circular motion above my kneecap. I start to relax a little bit and at the same time, I feel a tingling sensation travel from my thigh to my core.
“Hey guys,” Alex speaks quietly. I think he realizes that I’m feeling over-stimulated and he’s trying to keep the introductions quiet and low-key.
“This is Tabitha. But you can call her Tabby. And only I can call her Tabs.” His introduction is short and sweet and I find it odd that he claimed a nickname just for him. I tense again at this thought. I don’t want him to have any control over me, much less my name. He can feel me tense and his hand gently squeezes my thigh now as his thumb makes circles just above my knee. This action is making me squirm. I’m not used to someone touching me so tenderly.
“Hi Tabby!” the guy next to Alex says.
“Tabitha,” says the guy on the end.
“Tabs,” says the guy sitting directly on my right. As he calls me by the name that Alex claimed, he rubs his leg up against my right knee. I’m sure this is incidental contact, but this action causes me to move closer to Alex as I move my leg away from his.
Alex begins the formal introductions. “This is Dax.” He gestures to his left. “Tristan is on the end.” He bobs his head toward the end of the booth. “And Garrett is next to you.” He tenses up as he concludes Garrett’s introduction as if he knows he brushed up against me under the table. I’m suddenly startled by his possessiveness.
He turns fully toward Garrett and says, “Dude, I told you her name was Tabitha, Tabby for short. Got it?” Whoa. What the heck?
Garrett seems amused and looks like he is about to say something, but slowly moves away from me and picks up his menu.
Our waitress is back with our ice water and popcorn. She motions to the rest of the guys. “Welcome, gentleman,” she says smiling. “What are you drinking this evening?”
The rest of the boys order two pitchers of beer and request frosty mugs. Then they proceed to order every greasy appetizer on the menu.
She leaves to fill the order and an awkward silence hovers over the table.
“So, Alex told me how you all met. That’s great!” I fumble for some sort of conversation starter. I’m stuck between these guys; I might as well make it interesting.
Dax turns, looks at me, and smiles tightly, “Well, Alex told us nothing about you, Tabby. So why don’t you fill us in? Where did you come from and what have you done to make Alex so possessive of you already?”
Whoa. Nothing like jumping right in!
I stutter a little bit, “Well, I … I’m originally from Philadelphia. I spent a few years out west and made my way back here just recently. Nothing much to tell to be honest.” I am already feeling a cold vibe from Dax. There is no way I’m going to open up and share anything about myself.
“Short and sweet,” he replies. He still has a bit of a smirk on his face and his eyes lock on mine as if he is trying to read me or catch me in a lie. He’s clearly protective of Alex and wants to make sure that I know he’s got his eye on me.
I shift in my seat and accidently brush up against Garrett’s leg. He inhales deeply and chuckles a little bit.
“No need to make the chick uncomfortable, Dax. Everyone knows that you have Alex’s back and will pretty much squash anything or anyone that hurts him. Right?” Garrett turns toward me as he says this.
Holy hell! What is up with these guys? I don’t know what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn’t expecting this kind of treatment.
Tristan is scanning the bar area and quickly jumps up. “I’ll be right back; I need to say hi to someone.” With that, he takes off toward a redhead sitting at the corner of the bar. Clearly, his priorities are in order. At least he didn’t waste any time taking jabs at me to make me feel more uncomfortable than I already do.
Alex is remaining oddly quiet during this ‘interrogation’. Why isn’t he speaking up to come to my aid?
“Guys, I have no intention of hurting anyone. I’m Alex’s friend. Nothing more.” I look over to Alex who is looking down at the table.
The waitress arrives with several frosty mugs and a couple of pitchers of beer. “Your appetizers are on the way. Cheers!” She turns on her heel and walks away.
Garrett begins to fill up everyone’s mugs. “Tabitha, beer?”
“No thank you,” I reply. “I’m good with my water.”
He pushes a full mug toward Alex. Alex puts his hand up abruptly to stop him. “Garrett, you know that I don’t drink.”
“Dude, she didn’t even card us. Take advantage!” Garrett is smiling as he tries to convince Alex to drink.
“No. Thank. You,” Alex says forcefully.
“Suit yourself. More for us,” Garrett says as he raises his mug to clink with Dax’s.
I wonder how Alex is even friends with these guys. They don’t treat each other with respect. Hell, they don’t even seem to like each other. Yet they are in a band and spend almost all of their free time together. I don’t get it.
I’m so nervous that I’m picking apart a cocktail napkin, tearing pieces off and making little balls in front of me.
Tristan slides back into the booth next to Garrett and grabs his mug full of beer.
“To new friends,” he says as he winks at me. “Cheers!”
I raise my ice water and nod my head toward the group.
“Thank you,” I say. “Cheers.”
Alex remains silent through this entire discussion.
I feel his hand on my thigh again just above my knee. He starts softly rubbing my kneecap and he leans into me so his mouth is pressed into my hair against my ear.
“Tabitha, I’m so sorry,” he whispers as his warm breath lingers on my neck. “I’m sorry.” This gives me the chills and I shiver. I’m sure he noticed and now I’m embarrassed by my reaction. I just can’t help it. I have a physical reaction to his presence. I’m starting to burn all over and I just can’t yet tell if I like it.
I don’t want to pull away, but I have to. We don’t need to get any more grief from the guys. I can’t endure this discomfort any longer. I need to get up but I’m trapped.
I lean back into
the booth so that Alex’s mouth is no longer dangerously close to my ear, turn to look at him and smile. I mouth the words, “It’s OK.” But really, it’s not. I don’t like being made to feel like I’m such a virus. I already hate myself, and what I’ve become. The icy reception I’m getting from these guys is just adding to my issues and I just can’t take this anymore.
“Excuse me,” I quietly say. “I need to use the restroom.” Dax smirks at me, slides out of the booth, and Alex slowly follows him. I now have my escape route.
I scoot out of the booth and start walking toward the bathrooms. Dax grabs my arm and pulls me close to him so he can speak into my ear. I tighten up and try to pull away. “Don’t hurt him, Tabitha,” he says and quickly lets go of my arm. Shit, that’s going to leave a bruise.
I’m flustered as I practically run into the bathroom.
I lock myself in a stall, sit down on the closed seat, and put my head into my hands. This is too much. Is Alex even worth all of this grief that I’m getting from his friends? I have to get out of here. Run. Again.
I spend about ten minutes trying to calm down. I step out of the stall, wash my hands, and splash some cold water on my face. I look into the mirror at my pathetic face. “You are such a coward,” I say to my reflection.
I open the door and walk out, right into Alex.
“Whoa!” I say. “What are you doing back here?”
He reaches out, grabs my hand softly, and leads me into an empty room. This must be the lounge where the band hangs out while waiting to perform.
As the door shuts, he turns me around so that my back is pressing against it. He places his hands on either side of my head and leans in close, our lips barely touching. He’s staring into my eyes, almost burning holes through my head. I inhale deeply and he slams his lips into mine. His kiss is rough and hungry. His tongue immediately parts my lips and assaults my mouth, intertwining with mine. I tense up and try to pull away. I can’t catch my breath and begin to panic.
He pulls back and looks into my eyes again. “Tabitha,” he says softly and licks his lips. He then bites down on his lower lip as he continues to stare. “Please tell me that I didn’t just go out of bounds with that.” He looks worried.