“Look Rob, what happened at your flat?”
He looked up with lucid terror and again Josh thought he wouldn’t speak.
“Man, it was the Blue,” he said eventually.
“The Blue?”
“The what?!” Rufus asked.
“Th-the Blue.” Rob stuttered out.
There was a knock at the door and Rob’s mum peered round with two mugs of steaming coffee.
“Are you all alright?” she asked nervously.
Josh took both mugs and placed them on the nearest set of drawers. “Oh, we’re fine. Thanks.”
She looked at them both, then to Rob and then, clearly still suspicious, withdrew from the room closing the door behind her.
Josh paused a few seconds, giving her time to move away. “What’s blue Rob?”
“I don’t know. It comes in little capsules.”
“A drug?” Rufus asked, shocked. “Man, drugs don’t do that to people!”
Rob sat silently, seemed to be deciding what to say next. Josh spoke before he had a chance to.
“Are you really saying this has something to do with drugs?”
Rob seemed undecided and clumsily reached down for his open weed tin. “Wait, wait, I need to take another hit.”
“No you don’t. Jesus!” Josh said, taking the blue cylinder from his hand.
“I don’t know what it is.” Rob said suddenly. “I’d tried it a few times before. Real weird shit! Man I ain’t never had anything else like it. Man, never.” He stopped talking, now again looking inward.
“Rob, Rob? Hey Rob!”
He looked up again.
“Are you talking about a drug called—Blue?”
He nodded.
Josh looked back at Rufus. “Hey, you ever hear of Blue?”
“Yeah, I think someone asked me for it a few weeks back. Said it was liquid acid, I think.”
Rob laughed, shocking them both. “Man it ain’t acid! It’s this blue liquid in weird little capsules. you see things. Man, do you see things!”
“Hallucinate?”
“Maybe, but it seems more. you can see bits of the city, like you’re there. Talk to people, be a thousand places in seconds. If you’re with your friends, you sort of become them.” He stopped, put his head back in his hands. “Oh, jesus my head hurts.” He moaned.
Josh took a sip from the coffee. It scalded his mouth but he didn’t care. “Go on!”
“Like dreaming! yeah, that’s it. Everything and nothing is real.”
Josh’s ears picked up. “Like dreaming?”
“What’s this got to do with Sarah and...” Rufus stopped and reached for his own mug.
“Oh shit man. We’d all dropped a couple of capsules but Cally wanted more. It was cool at first, like ecstasy, all love but like, we all knew what each was thinking. Shit, we were one. Then we started to, er, fool about.”
“I don’t want to know!” Josh grimaced and gritted his teeth.
Rob went silent, again a pained expression again on his face.
“And?” Rufus question impatiently.
“Oh, fuck I need a bong!” Rob complained.
“Finish and you’ll get one!” Josh told him.
“Man this is real hard.”
“Rob!” Rufus warned.
“Oh shit man. Oh shit. Okay, okay. Well after a while Cally started talkin’ about weird shit. She was really freaking us out. Saying she wasn’t in the room any more. Said she couldn’t even see us. She started screaming and running about, and, and she was yelling for someone to get away from her but there wasn’t anyone about. She just screamed and screamed and started flailing at the air. I tried to hold her down but she just started kicking harder. Oh fuck man, and then Sarah starts saying she can see something too. Ah, shit man and they’re both saying that there are, I don’t know... things? yeah things everywhere, man, but there wasn’t! Jesus, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck man!” Rob’s voice was fast rising into a high pitched hysterical tone. His terror finally overcoming his drugged calm.
“Yo calm down man.” Rufus hushed.
Rob looked at him, didn’t seem to know who he was. “Man get out! Get out!”
“What happened next?” Josh pleaded in desperation.
The door exploded open behind them, hitting Rufus’ back and sending the mugs tumbling to the floor.
Rob’s mum stood there sternly. “I think you should both leave!”
Josh ignored her. “What the fuck happened next?”
“Get out!” Rob yelled
“I’ll call the police!” The woman warned.
Rufus put his hands in the air, gesturing for her to calm down. “Yo, lady it’s cool. We’re going, we’re going.” He soothed.
“What happened!” Josh demanded.
Rufus grabbed him by the shoulder. “Come on man, we’re gone!”
Both Rob and his mum were both yelling “Get out!” now.
Slowly Rufus managed to drag Josh away. He was easily stronger, but Josh was seized by some kind of frenzy which made him hard to move.
Eventually, surrounded by chaos, Josh swept round on him. “Okay, I’m coming.”
The door slammed hard behind them and they were back in the calm of the street. The only sound being children playing in a school playground somewhere.
COMPLICATIONS
THE STEERING-WHEEL GRIPPED in Josh’s hands felt reassuringly real. Little else did. He was driving maybe a little too quickly, eager to get back to Sarah but had no idea what he could do for her. What Rob had told them had confused him further. Some kind of paranoid talk about blue drugs? It hadn’t provided the answers he hoped for. What had he been hoping for?
Rufus sat slumped next to him staring out at the leaden sky. His reflection on the glass revealed a troubled expression. There were a lot of unanswerable questions constantly being fed through his mind. He felt like he could burst into laughter at any second and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop again.
“What now?” he had asked and Josh had found he didn’t know. He felt he was pursuing something but had no idea what. “This is all wrong,” he mumbled to himself and stopped the Hed PE CD that was spinning.
“Hey, I was listening to that,” Rufus said annoyed.
“I can’t think straight while that rap shit’s playing.”
Rufus shrugged, muttered to himself. He looked back up, fixing heavily bloodshot eyes onto his friend. “What are we doing Josh?”
Josh looked at him blankly, he felt tired and lost. “You know anything about that drug Rob was on about—I mean, anyone who, er, deals it?”
“I don’t even know what the fuck it is! Man, all I know is I’ve heard it mentioned a few times. That’s it!”
Josh nodded. “Could you find out?”
Rufus seemed to weigh something up. “If it’s out there I guess I probably know someone...” He paused. “Thing is I’m not sure what this is all about. What I’m saying is maybe, maybe we should just leave this shit all alone. Fucking drugs and monsters?” He laughed out loud, looked a little too wild and was shaking his head.
Josh struggled for something to say and was slightly relieved when Rufus’ mobile began to ring.
“Yo?” he answered when he finally managed to work the phone. “What?”
The shock in Rufus’ voice caused Josh to feel a stab of panic. “Who is that?” he asked anxiously.
Rufus paused, clearly didn’t want to reply.
“Karen, just Karen,” he told him a little too quickly.
Josh grimaced. “Rufus, what have you done?”
Rufus held his hand up to silence Josh, again talking to his phone. “What? Who? Oh shit!”
“What’s going on Rufus?”
“Wait! Sorry what?” He lowered his voice. “What are they doin’ now? No, no it’s okay, you did fine.”
“What’s going on, Rufus?” Josh’s voice was rising in annoyance.
Rufus ignored him. “Okay, okay honey. So are you okay—and is Sarah? No that’s coo
l, yeah we’ll come and get you.”Rufus hung up and fixed his eyes onto his friend.
Josh waited expectantly.
“Sarah’s in hospital.”
Josh grimaced and punched the horn. “Oh sweet Jesus! Why the fuck would...”
“Hey I told her to! Shit man, what else could I do? You see her fuckin’ eyes man?”
“Yeah, Rufus I did see her eyes, now tell me what the hell you think they’re gonna’ do when they see her eyes in that place?” He slapped the steering wheel and turned back to the road cursing to himself. “Shit, shit, shit!”
Rufus frowned at him. “Look, listen up man, we’ve got to get to the hospital.”
“Damn straight we are because I’m getting Sarah the hell out!”
“Think straight Josh! What can we do for her? Fuck man, I don’t know what the fuck’s going on but they can help her more than we can! So just chill the fuck out man!”
Josh reluctantly began to calm himself and gather his thoughts as Rufus fumed beside him.
“So, she’s okay?” he said at last.
Rufus turned a cold smile on him. “Which bitch?”
Josh was mildly taken back, realised he’d been thinking of Karen. “Well, both.”
“Karen’s hysterical and she didn’t mention Sarah.”
Josh let that all sink in for a second. “Right, okay, so what did she tell the police? Are they going to want to talk with us?”
“Nah, nah, she made up some bullshit story.” Rufus paused. “Hey who the fuck mentioned the cops?”
“You did.”
“What? Did I?”
“Sure you did, Just then.”
Rufus stared in silence at him for a long time. “Rrrrright, okay.” He shook his head, realising he was pretty stoned. “So er, yeah we’ve got to go and get Karen.”
Josh nodded. “Right, and then we’re going to find out whatever the fuck this Blue stuff is!”
It wasn’t a suggestion.
DOWN TIME
JOSH AND KAREN were sitting silently in Josh’s bedroom. NIN was playing quietly from his computer, while the screen filled with colours and shapes from some music program he had installed. Karen took in some more weed smoke and as she exhaled watched the colour dance behind the slowly dissipating veil? Her pupils widened and her head swam mildly. The world grew slightly less real.
‘So now wish?’
She snapped round, panicked. “What?”
Josh was staring through everything, a troubled look set on his face. His eyes were little more than windows to the infinite void that sat behind them. As he sat, in one hand a joint was dropping ash to the carpet and the other was drumming impulsively on the table beside his bed. If he had spoke then he had not been conscious of doing so.
Karen was watching him with an only mildly less troubled expression now.
What had she just heard? The words had made very little sense to her, didn’t seem real, the way they had... or did they? That, she realised, was what was troubling her, they had seemed more real than was possible, flashed to her with a heightened sense of reality. And had that even been Josh’s voice? It had sounded like, like a girl?
Karen detached from her thoughts and found she was still staring at Josh, who sat oblivious of her attention as was so often the case.
He looked a mess. His hair was lank and greasy, long even for him and looked as if it hadn’t been washed for weeks. Mank stubble was gathering over his jaw. His long face was pale and drawn, dark purple flesh sat beneath his eyes. It was his eyes that troubled her the most though. Gone was that pained spark and now all she saw was what she could only describe as darkness. He looked insane but maybe she was beginning to understand why.
She coughed but Josh didn’t react. “Josh?” she said more explicitly.
He turned to her with a slowness and precision that chilled her; while his eyes were looking at her, they remained blank.
“Josh?” she repeated, with obvious concern.
He jolted, eyes blinking. “W-what? Oh christ, I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you.” Josh looked mildly panicked, glanced about the room as if he didn’t know where he was.
Karen just stared at him. He found the pained look, that strained her face hard to read. Jesus, was she scared of him, or for him... or both? Some warmth broke free in his chest and he smiled. Instinctively she smiled too and then, shyly looked down.
Josh’s smile began to turn into his usual frown as full realisation came creeping in. Did she...
Karen spoke before he could fully analyse the emotion that he was slowly becoming aware of.
“Josh, level with me.”
Behind where she sat the sun was slowly dying into night. Patches in the dark brown clouds that had gathered over the dimming city revealed lakes of gold, crimson and blue light from behind. The last of the sun’s radiant glow was basking over the side of her face. He struggled against the vision and managed to speak. “About what, Karen?”
She shook her head in disbelief. “Sarah? That guy at the shopping mall? This! All of this!”
He nodded, tried to think. “Honey, I really don’t know—Jesus I wish I did.”
She nodded slowly deciding whether or not to ask the question that was still bothering her. Lastly she realised she couldn’t resist. “Josh, did you just say something to me, a few moments ago?”
He just looked at her perplexed and then something seemed to click and his eyebrows slowly raised above his glasses into a look of surprise. When he spoke it was with exasperation. “You heard it too!?”
“What, it wasn’t you? Then who was it?” She shook her head. “No that’s silly. It had to be you because...”
Josh was smiling now, seemed delighted. “Wow, this is great!”
Karen shook her head, all wide-eyed. “What is, Josh? What did I, we just hear?”
Josh laughed. It was the last thing she had expected. For the first time in a long time he seemed to be shifting out of himself. “I mean, I knew I wasn’t crazy, not now, not after what I’ve seen but... that you can hear it too!”
Karen grew frustrated. “Hear what damn it! Hear what?”
Josh seemed taken back. “So you don’t hear it now?”
Karen was bewildered, was shaking her head and smiling. “You’re not making any sense.”
“So you can’t hear,” Josh snorted out a laugh at what he was about to say. “So you can’t hear the voices?”
She was visibly taken back. “voices? God no! And you can? Now?”
He frowned. “Now look,” he started.
“What are they saying, Josh?” She was speaking with a calm he knew she didn’t have.
He was silent for a second, gathered his words. “It’s distant at the moment, I can barely make them out, most of the time I can ignore them, it’s only occasionally when I hear them clearly. Except when I sleep, it’s worse,I can’t escape them then.”
Karen’s mind was racing. She thought of Sarah, those impossible black eyes, but even so she couldn’t fully accept what she was hearing. Did he know how crazy he sounded? Was he crazy?
She forced herself to remain calm. Mature as always. “Who are they, Josh?”
He knew it wasn’t the question she really wanted to ask and smiled. “They tell me to kill, over and over again.”
“What?!!?”
“No relax, Jesus Karen, I’m joking.”
She breathed out. “Josh, don’t joke. Not now. Something weird is going on and I want to know what it is.”
“Okay, okay, sorry.”
She spoke softly. “So who are they?”
He nodded. “I think they’re just people, yeah most of them are just people but there’s something else too...” He caught the look in her eyes. “Hey I know how this sounds, but me and Rufus have seen something that... something not human.”
Karen remembered the joint in her hand and stubbed it out into an ash tray. “Okay start at the start.”
“Okay. It started a couple of months back. I had some strang
e vision, a painting, the one with a guy on a crucifix and...”
“What happened?”
“It seemed to come alive and then I started hearing voices and seeing things, more visions. It started slowly and I wasn’t sure it was real. I thought it was the weed. you know that it can trigger psychosis and schizophrenia and all of that.”
“You have been smoking a lot recently.”
“Yeah but it’s not like that, look I really do know how this sounds but I’m not crazy! I think I’m,” he hesitated, didn’t want to say the word. He looked away from her, couldn’t face her and say it.
“What, Josh? What?” Her face, eyes and voice were pure concern.
“Psychic,” he said. “I think I’m psychic.” He looked at her expectantly.
Karen had no idea what to say. “Like, er, ESP?”
“Yeah, and something’s happening in this city to trigger it. Something to do with a guy, or something, named Carthy... maybe. Shit I don’t know! All I know is that Sarah’s got something wrong with her and it may be to do with a drug she took.”
“A drug!?” Karen was exasperated, this was all quickly becoming too much for her. “But I just made that up. It wasn’t real.”
“Thing is Karen, that story you made up for the police, may have been more true than you thought.”
“A drug?” Karen questioned again.
Josh nodded. “Yeah... Blue.” He told her matter-of-factly.
This was all completely crazy. Why am I even partly accepting any of this? She asked herself, but she knew why. In Sarah’s black mirror glass eyes alone she’d seen something beyond explanation. “So what’s Blue, is that a new drug?”
He shrugged and sucked in some more smoke. “I don’t know. That’s what Rufus is doing now. Talking to his drug dealer friends to see if anyone’s heard of it.”
“He’s, what? Trying to buy some Blue?”
“Well not to buy it, no. I just have to find out who’s selling it. Look whatever this is, it’s about a lot more than drugs!”
Karen shivered and convulsed, her red ponytails flailing in the air and her chakras erupted violently.
“Urghhhh! Josh I can’t accept this! It’s all paranoid madness. I think you need help. What exactly do you and Rufus think you saw? A monster?”
Dark Side Darker Page 11