Ishq nahi hota.
Ishq khule mein hota hai.
Logo ko lalkarke hota hai.
Mann ke talon ko todkad hota hai.
Takht-o-taj hilake hota hai.
Kisi purani soch ki tanashahi to girake hota hai.
Tez hawa ka rukh modhke hota hai.
Oonche-oonche lehron se sambhalke hota hai.
Sadak ke beech chilla ke hota hai.
Ishq sirf khule mein hota hai.
As Afsana stared at the words, she knew it was time to enact her plan. A plan that would bring her and Nirmaan together but would destroy everything else that she was associated with. It was like burning up one world in order to keep another alive. Picking up her cell phone, Afsana went back to Nirmaan, and lay down beside him on the floor. She clicked pictures of their naked bodies taking care to ensure that his face was not very clear although hers was in each of them. She replaced her SIM card with a new one and switched on the phone. She tapped on the WhatsApp icon on the phone and registered the new number, made a new group that included Shanay, his parents and everyone in his family whose number she had. She loaded all the pictures she had just clicked, shut her eyes and muttered the lines of the poem that she had penned a moment ago. Afsana pressed the ‘send’ button. Then she extracted the SIM and splintered it. Sometimes the present needs to be eradicated so that one can build the future afresh, she thought as she put her arms around Nirmaan and buried her face in his neck. She had never felt stronger.
CHAPTER 13
Every picture sent to the group was seen by each member of the group. Instead of finding out who sent them, the photos were forwarded to their respective wives and other relatives, who further forwarded them to their extended families. In no time it was an established fact in the entire Bansal family, far and near, that Shanay’s wife-to-be was having a torrid pre-marital affair.
The pictures were sent to Afsana’s parents as well. An urgent meeting was arranged between the two families. Shanay wanted to intervene but Mr Bansal asked him to keep quiet.
‘I know who sent these pictures,’ Shanay was one hundred per cent certain that it had been masterminded by Nirmaan to sabotage his marriage.
‘It doesn’t matter who sent the pictures to us,’ Mr Bansal said, ‘what matters is whether what was sent is true or not.’
When Mr Bansal telephoned Mr Agarwal, he only wanted Afsana to confirm or deny the truth of those pictures. Afsana was asked to remain at her parents’ home where both families were to meet at noon and discuss the implications of the scandalous photographs.
When Afsana came home, without telling Nirmaan anything about it, she knew she would have to face the music. Her disgusted father categorically told her that she was the biggest mistake of his life and had never given him a moment’s peace from the time she had been conceived. Now she had maligned his name so badly that the entire Agarwal family was reduced to a laughing stock in their community and business circles.
Afsana was silent.
Only Shanay’s parents arrived to represent the Bansal clan. Mr Bansal asked her a simple question, ‘Beta, is there another man in your life?’
Afsana nodded.
‘And you want to marry him and not Shanay?’
Afsana nodded again.
‘Why didn’t you tell us before?’ asked Mrs Bansal.
Afsana remained silent.
Mr Bansal suggested to Mr Agarwal that he get his daughter married to the man of her choice. As for the marriage alliance between the Bansal and the Agarwal family, it stood cancelled.
‘Whoever sent those pictures sent it to almost everyone in our family. However much both my wife and I love Afsana, it will be very difficult for us to accept her as our daughter-in-law now. I hope you understand, Mr Agarwal, and not make a fuss about it,’ Mr Bansal said regretfully.
In the silence that fell, the Bansals walked away.
‘I’ll not spare the bastard who sent those damn pictures,’ Mr Agarwal muttered furiously. He glared at Afsana, ‘If I knew I had sired a slut, I would have killed myself a long time ago.’ He shut himself up in his room.
Afsana knew it would be impossible to conclusively trace the origin and sender of those images. Her mother remained strangely quiet throughout this altercation.
An hour later, driving back to her apartment, Afsana checked her phone and found Shanay’s message: Are you ready to get married to a man who circulates your private pictures? Great! Both you and I know that Nirmaan has done this, and you know what? You actually don’t deserve me. You deserve that dog. Goodbye.
She promptly deleted the message.
Nirmaan, dressed in a formal suit, was waiting for her on the couch. He was due to fly to Bhubaneswar later that evening after a business meeting in Kolkata. When Afsana entered the flat, Nirmaan immediately sensed that something was terribly wrong. He rose to hold her hands and draw her down to sit beside him.
‘What happened?’
She smiled at him wanly, ‘I destroyed myself today for you. Now I want to begin again. With you . . . beside you. I want to resurrect myself holding your hand,’ her eyes were moist, she raised his hand to her face.
‘What happened, Affu?’ Nirmaan repeated. She buried her face in his chest, ‘I had to burn my world to start a universe with you.’
Nirmaan broke the hug and cupped her face.
‘What did you do?’ he asked. Afsana took a few minutes to summarize everything that had happened after their passionate encounter. The obvious consequence was that the marriage had been called off.
‘Please tell me you didn’t do that,’ Nirmaan urged in disbelief.
Afsana gazed at him, smiling.
‘I did,’ she confirmed.
‘You . . . actually sent those pictures . . . yourself?’ Nirmaan was still having trouble coming to grips with reality.
‘I tried explaining to Shanay that we weren’t meant for each other. But he simply wouldn’t listen. And I couldn’t live with him. I want you, Nirmaan. I lost you once but then when you met me again . . .’ Nirmaan hugged her tight.
‘Kehte hain peepal ke ped ko ghar pe nahi lagate. Lekin peepal ke ped mein hi ghar mil jaaye, toh?’ Afsaan whispered in his ears. Nirmaan whispered back, ‘Kehte hain talaab ke paani ko, rasoi ke matke mein nahi rakhte. Lekin, zindagi ki pyaas talaab ke paani se hi mite, toh?’
‘Kehte hain ishq mein qaid nahi, azaadi honi chahiye. Lekin, kisike qaid mein hi azaadi mile, toh?’ Her body shuddered as she whispered again. Nirmaan broke the hug, wiped her tears away and said, ‘Kehte hain khuda mein koi aeb nahi hota. Lekin, kisike aeb mein hi khuda dikh jaaye, toh?’
She sealed his lips with hers.
‘I swear, Affu, if I’m a real man, I won’t let you regret this decision of yours ever,’ he promised fervently. ‘Wait for me here. I’ll be back soon. Get packed and be ready,’ Nirmaan kissed her forehead and walked out.
CHAPTER 14
With Nirmaan gone, Afsana stayed where she was as the enormity of her actions sank in. She hadn’t asked when he would be back. She simply sat on the couch staring out of the window and gradually dozed off. When she woke up in the wee hours, memories of the first cycle ride she had had with Nirmaan to the lovemaking that had happened the previous night returned to her vividly.
Nirmaan came home that evening.
‘I’m sorry to have kept you waiting. I’ve already signed it and you can follow suit after reading it,’ he said, handing her some official-looking documents and gathering her into his arms.
‘What are these?’ she asked, peering at the papers.
‘When one has the right connections, anything is possible. I called up a few people and got hold of a marriage registrar who prepared these papers for us overnight,’ he said beaming triumphantly.
Afsana felt as if she were dreaming. She hurriedly signed the papers before someone woke her up and told her that none of this was real. She noticed three witnesses had already signed it.
‘They’re my friends, don’t worry,’ Nirmaan
assured her. She hugged him tight.
‘Have you packed?’ he asked. ‘We’ll leave right away. We’ll stay at The Park for a few days and after that we’ll shift to a three-bedroom rented apartment in Rajarhat. I’ve had a talk with a broker as well,’ he murmured holding her close as she seemed reluctant to let him go.
‘You wanted me to pack everything I need. I’m holding everything I need right now,’ Afsana said. He kissed her forehead.
After a few minutes, she said, ‘Tell me, Nirmaan, this isn’t temporary. Tell me this is permanent . . . for always.’
Nirmaan cupped her face and gazed into her eyes, ‘You and I are all about permanence, Affu. D’you think we met again just like that? I deliberately held back from confessing that I couldn’t survive without you. I knew that if I said anything like that you would have no qualms about setting your world ablaze to return to me. But you . . .’ he kissed her hard.
‘I’m glad you realized it without my having to spell it out,’ she kissed him harder.
Nirmaan finally excused himself, saying wryly that he needed to wash and shave and become human again. Afsana relaxed, feeling normal after ages. She was about to sort through her stuff to pack a bag, when the doorbell rang. Her father along with a contingent of her male cousins barged in as soon as she opened the door.
‘Where is that scoundrel?’ Mr Agarwal demanded furiously. Her cousins were already in the bedroom.
‘What are you doing?’ Afsana asked.
‘I know that bastard is here. He’s the one who circulated those pictures to the Bansals,’ Mr Agarwal hollered.
Afsana was about to reply, when Nirmaan responded, ‘Yes, I did.’
He stood in the doorway of the en-suite bathroom. The cousins converged on him looking like jackals to a kill.
‘Papa—’ Afsana began.
‘Affu, don’t worry and stay out of this,’ Nirmaan picked up the marriage registration papers from the centre table as he approached her father.
He faced Mr Agarwal. ‘I have loved your daughter for the last fifteen years. She loves me as well. Now, she is not only your daughter,’ he waved the documents in his hand, ‘but my legally wedded wife as well. If you want to fight me, you’re welcome to try. Is there any law in this country that can separate two consensually married adults?’
‘Is this the truth?’ spluttered Afsana’s father. She nodded.
‘You—’ Mr Agarwal’s face was red with fury.
‘I request you to lay off calling my wife names.’
One of her burly cousins stepped threateningly towards Nirmaan. Mr Agarwal and the other cousins deterred him from launching an onslaught. Mr Agarwal considered Nirmaan with fulminating eyes, took the registration papers with shaking hands and perused them.
‘Don’t show me your face ever. Let’s go,’ he said hurling the documents to the floor. All of them left.
‘I’m sorry, Affu. You had to fight with your family for me.’
‘Don’t make us sound like hormonal teenagers, Nirmaan. We have chosen each other. I know my father. He’s angry because he doesn’t know you. With time, he’ll get to know you. He isn’t as evil as he sounded.’
Afsana grinned. ‘But thank you. When the person you love turns out the way you always thought he would, life seems like a blessing.’
‘“Thanks” coming from you sounds like a profanity, so, please,’ he smiled and she joined in.
They stayed for a week at The Park. Afsana’s mother phoned to convey her blessings. However, Afsana didn’t disclose her whereabouts to her mother. A week later, they moved into a swanky rented apartment in Rajarhat.
‘After we get back from New Delhi, I’ll bring Ma here.’
‘I’m dying to meet Aunty. It has been a long time since I last saw her.’
With a reminiscent smile, Nirman said, ‘she once said she wanted a daughter-in-law like you.’
Afsana smiled and said, ‘I remember, the Bangali-meye avatar.’ And then added, ‘But why New Delhi?’
‘Our start-up has been nominated for an award by Business Right Now.’
Afsana was surprised to learn that Nirmaan would be competing for the same award as Shanay. It was during their flight to New Delhi that she told Nirmaan about it.
‘If you aren’t comfortable, we can fly back without attending the show. I don’t have a problem,’ he offered without a moment’s hesitation.
‘No. Let it be,’ she shook her head. After a pause she added, ‘I want to confess something.’
‘Sure.’
She held his hand tightly and said, ‘I’ve slept with Shanay. I lied to him about my virginity but I don’t want to lie to you. I first had sex with a French painter whom I had met in Milan. We were not in love but whenever we made out, we always said we loved each other. Then I was briefly with a client of mine in Milan. I think he genuinely loved me. I may sound like a bitch but I wanted him to crave me. I don’t know why. So, I would make out with him time and again. I even promised him that I’ll return only for him. I wanted someone to wait for me . . . I’m not in touch with anyone any more.’
Nirmaan looked at her impassively.
‘Say something,’ she said.
‘Affu, it does not matter who you were with earlier. It doesn’t change anything. I respect your choices. During all those years when we were apart, I realized that the purest love is that which you set free, which you don’t try to alter. You love the other person for who they are and not for what you want them to be. I would never want to change you, Affu. You’re my inspiration. As long as your love for me stays uncompromised, I don’t really care about your past boyfriends or flings.’
Afsana was touched. She leaned her head on his shoulder as their flight entered a crowd of clouds.
The award ceremony was a gala affair at the Leela. Business magnates from across the globe, political leaders and distinguished dignitaries from various walks of life were present. Shanay snagged the award in the category that Nirmaan was also competing. Although he noticed Nirmaan and Afsana at the cocktail party that followed, he steered clear of them.
The next morning, Nirmaan and Afsana were at terminal 3 of the Delhi airport, waiting to catch a flight to Guwahati.
‘I want to visit the RBI quarters there. I want to see if the mango tree is still there. That was how I first met Raisa,’ Nirmaan had explained as he booked their tickets.
‘I’ll go with you,’ replied Afsana promptly.
As they waited for the boarding call, Afsana said, ‘Dipannita was asking—’
‘Dipannita . . . oh, yes, your friend who thought we were going to have an extra-marital liaison,’ Nirmaan grinned.
Afsana elbowed him and continued, ‘She wanted to know whether we would go off on a honeymoon now that we’re married.’
Nirmaan looked at her and asked, ‘What did you tell her?’
‘That we are each other’s honeymoon.’
Nirmaan gave her a you-are-incorrigible smile and kissed her hand.
‘Your hands are frozen. D’you want some coffee?’
‘I wouldn’t mind.’
‘Wait,’ Nirmaan wandered off to the hot beverages stall.
Shanay was watching them from a distance. His flight to Kolkata was around the same time as theirs. As Nirmaan left, he approached Afsana.
‘Hi,’ he said, as she looked up at him in surprise.
‘Don’t worry I’m not here to fight or anything. I just wanted to clear a small doubt.’
‘What is it?’ she asked.
‘Ever since our relationship started going downhill, I’ve hated you so much and bad-mouthed you. But perhaps that was just my way of dealing with the thought of losing you. I realized something only a few days ago when I ran into one of your cousins at a pub. He told me that you’ve married the man who had circulated those pictures. Something about that didn’t sit right with me. I wondered how a feisty girl like you could tamely give in to a man who had so thoughtlessly put out naked pictures of the woman he allegedl
y loved. And then it struck me. It was you who did it, isn’t it? You chose to crucify your own character to be with the man you truly love.’ He paused for a beat before continuing, ‘My blood ran cold even thinking about it. I don’t think I could ever have done such a thing—destroy myself for someone else. It was then that I realized that I never deserved you. Strangely enough I feel a lot better now and happy for you too. You were right. We would have driven each other mad if we had gotten married,’ he laughed mirthlessly.
Afsana didn’t know what to say.
‘I’ve a final request. Can I stay in touch with you until I find a life partner? I told my parents not to look for alliances for me. I’ll tell them when I’ve found someone who is worthy of me and I’m worthy of her.’
Several seconds ticked by before Afsana said, ‘Of course, we can remain in touch.’
‘Thank you. Fly safe.’ Shanay was gone. Half a minute later, Nirmaan joined her with two paper cups of coffee.
‘Shanay was here,’ she said.
‘I saw. But I didn’t want to interrupt you two.’
‘He seemed apologetic. He wants to stay in touch with me until he gets someone in his life. I said yes, but—’
‘But?’
‘Will you be okay with it?’
‘As I said, Affu, it’s your choice. I trust you. And when you trust someone you don’t ask questions. You just know the answers.’
She gave him a peck on the cheek as the boarding announcement was made.
As Nirmaan and Afsana disappeared into the aerobridge for their flight, another flight was ready to depart to Kullu. The first person to cross the boarding gate for the flight was Raisa Barua. She waited impatiently till her flight took off and steadied in the air; she unbuckled her belt and went to the washroom. She gagged her mouth with a handkerchief and cried so hard that the veins on her neck stood erect and her eyes got all bloodshot.
Epilogue
Two days later,
Spiti Valley, Himachal Pradesh,
11.11 a.m.
The temperature outside is two degree Celsius. Raisa is standing naked in the shower of the small room she has rented. She squeezes her eyes shut and turns on the shower. Icy cold water cascades down her skin, freezing her to the bone. She communes with her spirit, willing the physical body to overcome the extreme discomfort and analyses her thoughts during this process.
Half Torn Hearts Page 20