“Olivia?”
I turned my head. “I believe he was a great general, but I do not know. I have never met him. This is not our normal romance novel.”
“You haven’t heard a word I’ve said.”
“I heard you, but my mind was elsewhere.”
He smiled, and all my negative thoughts fled. “Elsewhere? Where?”
“What?” I couldn’t fight returning it, the corner of my mouth curled under its own volition, and I was caught in the excitement in his expression. There was just something about him I couldn’t resist, even with my foul mood. Lips came to mine. Soft. Arms gathered me close and pulled me into a hard body, where I could feel the beat of my heart thump in time with his.
“You’re doing it again.” His eyes twinkled.
“Am I?” I blinked and pushed the daydream from my head. In my thoughts, I’d kissed him, but I’d yet to find my courage to really do it. I studied his mouth. So close.
“No heaving breasts here.” Axel grinned and rolled to his belly. “Unless they belong to a beautiful princess hiding in her secret garden with her knight in shining armor.”
“Ah ha, you’re my knight in shining armor, now?”
“Milady, I wouldn’t be anything but.” He tossed the book to the side and crawled over me, straddling my body, resting his weight on his hands and knees. The humor fled his expression. “You would not need a knight if we had a man like this General Tzu on our side. I should like to meet him, a man who could subdue his enemy without effort and save us.”
I was still stuck on the knight-in-shining-armor comment, dreaming again about Axel sweeping me off my feet and carrying me away. They’d shaved his head, and his beautiful eyes were no longer hidden by thick hanks of dark hair. They held so much emotion, those windows to his soul. Intelligence. Passion. Courage. Unlike Michael’s.
And talk like that would get him killed. “Don’t ever say that loud enough for them to hear. They would believe you mean to rise up against them. They would execute you.”
Axel looked away. “Perhaps I do. What is a life if it isn’t worth fighting for?” He turned back. “Speaking of getting into trouble, where did you find this book?”
“In my father’s study, with maps of the United Regions. He has had many late night meetings recently. No one will catch me. They sleep into the afternoon, and no one watches what I do. I can go anywhere in the palace without notice.”
“Be careful anyway. These are dangerous times. I believe your father plans to make war with the United Regions. He has asked General Axis to train us. They have given us uniforms, put weapons in our hands, and changed the security girdles to collars, so as not to hinder our movement. They count on the fact we will do as they say without resistance. These insure it.” He plucked at the digital band around his throat, pulling it up from where it had been hidden inside his shirt. Nowhere near as vulgar as the girdle, but still a reminder of the chasm between us. I wanted so much to reach up and remove it, but that single move would guarantee his death.
I knew of the drills he spoke of, the clones out in the fields, training. They had been foremost in my thoughts since I’d witnessed them. “I saw you, this morning. It was why I brought this book today.”
“You are putting yourself in grave danger, Olivia.”
“No. They did that when they put you in a uniform. I cannot let my father do this, or stand around and watch them send you off to slaughter.” My heart pounded. I did not want to contemplate all the late night councils, the military leaders who had been in and out of our home in the last month. In the distance, I could almost hear the war machine growling, and it caused me to tremble.
I did not want to think about losing Axel. Yes, what he said was true. My father meant to use the clones to attack the United Regions. Yet Axel failed to mention why. I had an idea. He would use them so the loss of life would be limited to the clones alone. He would kill Axel and others like him to increase his holdings and power.
“And that is why we should study more of these books on tactics,” I said.
My father was certainly securing his seat of power, using whatever means he needed. General Axis was a strong ally, one he couldn’t risk turning on him. By betrothing me to him, he would be able to control him through his title and greed. The Brauns didn’t get where they were because he was stupid. I was almost certain that was his intent. Why else hand me over to a man his age?
“Perhaps. You already take a great risk, Olivia.” Axel reached out and cupped my cheek. “I would never put you in danger. You shouldn’t take chances like this.”
“The danger is already here. They are going to use the clones to attack the UR and overthrow its leaders. We can’t let that happen. I believe the UR braces. You can feel the tension in the air and would have to be blind not to see the units of clones they train. We nearly destroyed our planet with war before. I will not stand by and watch while it happens again.” I wanted to make it clear I wouldn’t be excluded from the sedition, nor would I back down. Axel, I—we were in this together. There was no way I would be a pawn in this game, but rather a key player. A rebellion would be our only chance—for the clones and the citizens.
Axel studied me with that intensity I’d grown used to. He understood what I wasn’t saying, but didn’t like it. We both knew the consequences should we be caught. By teaching him to read, sharing this information, I had already committed treason, but I didn’t stop there.
“Don’t make me regret this,” he whispered.
“Never.” I gave him a soft smile, but he didn’t smile back.
That night, I stole the codes and changed them. I alone had control. My father, my mother were unaware of the shift in power.
I would not allow Aeropia to send the clones blindly to slaughter to quench my father’s lust for power. I would not allow another war like the one that split our country into two factions and nearly wiped us from existence. Their savior came to them as a sick girl, weak in body, but like Joan of Arc, I had no lack of faith. I could free them—and I would.
Sometimes a princess needed a knight in shining armor, and sometimes she kicked ass and waited for him to catch up.
Things changed after that. Every chance we had, we studied, created our own campaign like generals on a field of battle. Maps, documents I wasn’t supposed to see—and most certainly not share—were passed between us and discussed like the Sunday news. I learned Axel was as brilliant a general as the man he was cloned from, but where Michael was driven by greed, Axel was by passion.
At night, I dreamt of defeating my enemy without war, and someday holding my love without fear of retribution. The future changed because we had changed it, and for once in my life, I knew my destiny—my place in society. I had been born sick for a reason, so nobody would ever perceive me as a threat.
Olivia—the wolf in sheep’s clothing.
* * *
My nineteenth birthday finally arrived. That morning I sunned in a field of wildflowers. I’d donned shorts and a T-shirt to lay out on a blanket. Sunshine struck my flesh and warmed me for the moment. Inside, ice lay siege to my heart, tempering my determination to free the clones.
We would be leaving for winter quarters soon, and my father and his advisors would make their move before then. They wanted the fertile fields of the UR, having turned a blind eye to the capability of our own land to bear crops—or perhaps they wanted to take them to hide the lies they told about growing our own. Or had my father used the excuse the land wasn’t safe in order to provoke war, to give him a reason to cross the borders with his troops? The fact I had been growing crops for two summers, safe crops, proved there was more to it than I had thought.
I hadn’t seen Axel for two days, but I was also aware General Axis had been running them through drills in the south pasture, and I might not see him until later in the afternoon, when everyone prepared for the Ascension Day party, my father’s annual hurrah to celebrate his chokehold on Aeropia.
Every day that ha
d passed since I’d discovered the truth, the clones’ training had grown more intensive, and it triggered the tick-tock of the clock in my mind. Time would run out soon. Pieces were being moved around on the game board, and plans were falling into place. It both terrified me and gave me the strength to do what would become necessary.
So, I took that afternoon to think. In that meadow, I planned how I would free the clones and escape my future. I ran through every possible scenario, until my stomach knotted and I questioned if we could pull it off. Would we be successful? The odds were against me, but I could not stand by and do nothing. We had one chance, one only and whatever the outcome, it would certainly end in my death.
I wanted to free them close to the border, away from General Axis’s reach, and close enough to make a speedy escape into the United Regions. The codes I’d stolen would free all, not just the soldiers. It didn’t matter. There was no way to separate one from the other. It would be all or nothing. But hadn’t that been my intent from the beginning?
When I released them, I’d never see Axel again. I hadn’t mentioned it, but it was there, hanging between us. A life together had always been an impossibility. My heart ached at the thought of going on without him. If you love something, set it free. And I would, even if it crushed my soul.
Oh, I’d been a fool to believe I could free them without bloodshed, but thinking back, I knew if I had it to do all over, I would not change what I’d done, other than I would have saved the man I’d loved.
Sometime while I basked, I fell asleep, waking to discover I’d been buried from the top of my head to my toes in blossoms, my delicate skin protected from the intense rays. Off to the side, Axel watched. He sat on a stump, his thoughts as unreadable as his expression. The black uniform made him look every bit a soldier, except for the i-dent in his cheek that blinked at me.
In his hands, he held a twig and kept snapping it into smaller and smaller pieces. “I don’t think we should continue with your plan.”
“No?”
He shook his head again. There were bruises on his face and a split lip from recent abuse. He glanced away, staring at something in the distance as he continued to sit there. Snap. Snap. Snap.
Had they caught him sneaking off to meet with me? No, I wouldn’t see him again had that been the case. Snap. Snap. Snap. Look at me! “Did you do this?” I brushed the flowers off as I sat up. He’d placed them so carefully I had not stirred while he’d covered me.
He nodded but continued to remain transfixed on whatever it was in the distance.
“Why?”
“I didn’t want to see you burn.” He made brief eye contact and turned away again, staring at that invisible target. Snap. Snap.
“Look at me.” I rose to my feet. He jumped from his seat. “Don’t run.” I charged over to where he stood, before he could bolt, and grabbed his hand. “Please.”
“General Axis caught me watching you yesterday.”
Reaching up, I cupped his jaw and guided his face back to mine. “Axel,” I said softly.
He closed his eyes. “Don’t. He suspects I have been doing something I shouldn’t. I don’t want to take you down with me. I’ve come to tell you it’s over. We have to stop this.” The mutilated twig dropped from his fingers, falling to my toes. I did not look down but held his gaze. Strength did not come from muscle, but from the heart. There were stories I’d heard of mothers, who’d lifted heavy objects off their children in danger of being crushed. Mankind could do impossible things when the fire of the soul fed them. And though he might be bigger, physically able to do more than I ever could, I was stronger, and in that moment, he needed all I could give him.
“No. I refuse to stop until you’re free. Until you’re all free. We’re so close, and I’m not quitting now. I’m as deep into this as you. We can do this—will do this.” I gave him a smile, even though my insides felt as though someone wrung them like a wet towel. “We’ll be together without fear—free to show the love we’ve kept hidden.” I could not share my suspicions that my father intended to marry me off, not now. Axel would certainly back out of the plan to protect me instead of seeing it through. He’d never intentionally put me in danger.
He scrunched his eyes shut, as though his head hurt.
“Please don’t. Never close your eyes or look away.” And then I tried to soften what I said with humor. “You’re giving me a complex. Am I that hard to look at?”
His lids lifted, but he didn’t smile. His mouth formed a hard line, and the muscle in his jaw ticked. No laughter. Not a sound came from his lips. The serious expression on his face told me he’d taken it wrong. The next words that fell from his lips, confirmed it. Axel never got the punch line. He’d never had a reason to joke. I should have known better. The joke had fallen flat, and it made the situation all the more awkward.
“Axel?”
“No. I could stare at you all day and never grow tired of it. You are so beautiful, but I shouldn’t be here, talking to you, looking at you.” This time, when he said it, he stared into me, not breaking away, looking deep into my eyes until my knees shook. I loved this man more than I could possibly express. It angered me he thought he was unworthy of me, when it was I who should’ve questioned worthiness.
“And why the hell not? You are as much flesh and blood as I am. I find you very handsome, and kind.” I bit my lip. “You really think I’m beautiful?” I had dreamed of him looking at me that way many sleepless nights, of his arms wrapped around me, of him holding me, kissing me, his hands touching me in forbidden places. Axel was the reason my heart continued to beat. Without him, I would cease to care about living or fighting. He was my reason for being, my torch in the darkness.
“I would have to be blind not to see it. Those flowers faded beside you.” He swallowed. “I think I’m falling in love with you. I can’t help it.”
“You love me?” Pain. Happiness. I wanted to cry. I wanted to laugh. How did one react when someone they couldn’t love, someone they couldn’t stop loving, shared their feelings?
“Yes.”
“You’re such a romantic.” There was one gift I could give him no one else could. I’d saved myself for love, and finally I’d found it. “I want to kiss you, but I’ve never done this.” And so I would kiss him first, and then I would share my body as I’d fantasized doing for the last two years.
He blushed. The crimson spread across his cheeks and down his neck. “Neither have I,” he said softly.
“You haven’t kissed another clone?”
He shook his head. “Contact is…”
“Forbidden.” I leaned in and lifted up on my toes. I had to pull his head down to brush my lips against his. “Then we shall be each other’s first,” I whispered against his mouth. I let the moment seep into my brain, saturate my soul with warmth. The brief touch set my body on fire. Little jolts of electricity zipped through me from my center to my fingers and toes. I wanted more, so much more. Needed it, and the way he kissed me next, told me I wasn’t the only one.
Axel had been chewing the mint in the field. I found his taste intoxicating. So, I kissed him again, lacing my fingers into his hair. He was all man, solid, strong, everything I wasn’t. The borders between us faded, and I stepped into forbidden territory.
At first he stood there, frozen, but moments later, he reached out and pulled me into his arms, taking the kiss deeper. Our tongues danced, our hearts tangoed. And then we were rolling around on the blanket of blooms, touching, groping, exploring, hungry for contact.
“My princess,” he whispered. “I will love you to the day I die.” His hands pushed up under my blouse, cupping my breasts, stroking my nipples. I groaned and rocked against him, primal instinct demanding our clothes disappear and we feed the needs pulsing through us. I was wet, hot, and so needy. Lord knew I’d tried to fight the attraction, to protect him, but when it came to Axel, I was weak. I always would be.
“Olivia!” In the distance, someone called my name. We both stilled, fr
eezing with our hands in places they didn’t belong. Had they seen us?
“I should not have taken advantage of you.” His breath tickled my neck, where he’d buried his face. “I should not be here. His daughter or not, he’ll have you executed if he finds out you were part of the uprising.”
“He won’t find out, and you did not take anything I didn’t freely give. I would have given more. Much more.”
“No. They would not see it that way. This is a plan of fools. I don’t want you to get hurt. I need to get back to work before they notice I’m missing. We are rebuilding the walls around the city. There were so many clones working, I didn’t think they’d notice I’d snuck away, but eventually, they will.” He lifted his head and stared in the direction of the palace. “Maybe they already have.”
“Olivia!” The person calling my name drew closer.
“See me tonight. Meet me in the kitchen.” I wanted him with every bit of my being, and for once in my life, I would have something I wanted, not what my parents thought I should have.
“No.” Axel backed off. “This should end now.”
“Where are you, girl?”
“Please,” I begged. I needed to touch him again, finish what we’d started. I refused to take no for an answer, crossed my arms and lifted my chin. “With or without you, I’m doing this. Meet with me tonight. In the kitchen.”
He nodded and ran into the trees, disappearing so quickly, I barely saw him go. Already my arms ached for his return.
Moments later, my father’s mistress was in the field, her hands on her hips, staring down. Her hair looked like fire in the sunlight. “What are you doing?”
“Are you my keeper now?” I didn’t bother to address her by name. I never had and never would. I reached up and plucked a bloom hanging in my hair.
She snorted, her gaze landed on the spot in which Axel had disappeared moments before. “It’s not safe out here, unescorted.”
“Ridiculous. The entire estate is fenced and guarded.” A lie. I’d been witness to how well my father’s men patrolled the grounds, but I wasn’t about to give her that information and prove her right.
The Book of Eva: Clone, Book One Page 13