by AKM Miles
“Robbed, stabbed, kicked,” he moaned.
“Man, you’re not having a very good day, are you, son?”
At the word “son”, Daniel looked at the men. It was the two that he’d gotten away from before. They were both older and their hands on him were gentle.
“They took all I had. He cut me. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have anything now.” How true that was.
“Listen, don’t look so panicked. We didn’t follow you here. We eat here whenever we’re in town. We’ll get you something to eat and can talk about what you need to do. My name’s Tony, and that’s Randall.” The man talking pointed to the other man, who nodded at him. “The cut isn’t bad. Randall, get some wet towels and I bet we can get the bleeding stopped.”
Randall got some of the brown paper towels and wet them at the sink, bringing them back to Tony. Daniel sat up, with their help, and pulled his shirt up enough for them to clean the wound. Both men looked relieved, so Daniel figured he’d live. They helped him stand up and he gasped at the pain in his ribs.
“Hurts.”
“Let me see. Come on, son, I’m not after your body, nice as it is. Randall’s enough for me. Let’s see what damage was done to your ribs. When we saw that guy hotfooting it out of here, we were afraid he’d been up to no good.”
Daniel resignedly pulled his shirt up and flinched when Tony’s hand pressed gently into his ribs up and down his side, checking on how much trauma was there.
“I don’t think they broke any, but it’s gonna hurt to breathe for a while. Come on, we’ll get you something to eat and you can tell us what you’re running from.” At Daniel’s shake of his head, Tony said, “Oh, don’t worry, we’re not going to turn you in or make you go back to whatever it is, but we need to know if there’s some way we can help.”
“Why would you? Seems like everybody else I’ve run into wants something.” Daniel wasn’t ready to trust anyone, but these two had been nicer than anyone else and he was tired, hungry, and scared out of his wits.
When they left the bathroom, the waitress was at the counter with his sandwich. Tony told her, “Add an order of fries and a big chocolate shake to that, Myrna. We’re paying for the boy.”
Myrna turned to yell the order through the window for the fries and headed over to a machine to make the shake.
“Th-thank you.” Daniel barely managed the words as the severity of his situation hit him. What was he going to do? Where was he to go? He could not, would not go home. It was like the bottom had been pulled from his world and he was free-falling. Nothing made sense without his dad there.
“So, you’re running away from something. That’s clear. You don’t have to tell us what it is, but will you tell us your name?” Randall asked.
“Daniel. My name is Daniel.” He’d give them that much. He owed them that much.
“Daniel. Okay, here’s the deal. We’re truckers. We’ve got about another hour before our truck will be loaded and ready to go. We’re on our way to Gainesville, Florida. If you want to ride that far, we’ll take you. Are you sure you want to leave, though? Be sure. You don’t look like a typical runaway.” Tony looked at him closely.
Daniel didn’t know what to do. He just couldn’t go home. He had no money, no way to make any, and no idea what was safe. With his wallet gone, he had none of his identification. He was a nobody from now on.
“What do you want from me if I ride with you?” Daniel wasn’t stupid. Even nice people didn’t always do things for nothing.
“We’ve got a little place in Gainesville. You’re welcome to stay there for a little while. You’ll have to figure something out, but I don’t think you’ll make it on your own very long without something worse happening, and I’m not comfortable with that thought.” Tony leaned back when Myrna brought the fries and shake to the table.
Daniel looked at the two men across from him. “What about him? What does he think about that?” So far it had mostly been Tony talking.
“Tony knows whatever he wants to do is fine with me. We’re partners, in every way. You need to know that up front. We’re gay. If that bothers you, you’ll need to find help somewhere else,” Randall said that with just a little bit of intensity.
Daniel almost laughed at the irony of it. But instead, his eyes watered and he lowered his head. Gay. These two were gay and they thought it would bother him, and his dad had disowned him upon hearing that he was.
“What’s wrong, Daniel? Does it freak you out?” Tony asked. He didn’t sound mad, just curious.
“Not at all,” Daniel made himself look back up at them. “That’s kind of why I left home. It didn’t go well when I came out, so I left. No planning, no thought. I left my car and clothes and everything just to get the hell out.”
“No hope that things will change?” Tony asked, sympathetically.
“None. Disowned, outright. Not going back. But, you all…” Daniel didn’t know how to ask if he’d be safe around them. Instinct told him he would, but his instincts hadn’t done well for him lately.
“You don’t have to worry. We’re not into young pretty boys. We love each other.” Tony’s voice had dropped, not wanting to advertise to anyone else in the small diner. “And we have no interest in anyone else. We just want to help.”
“Just like that?” Daniel’s voice, he knew, held doubt.
“Not everyone is like that guy who robbed and beat you up. You need a break, kid. You ready to head to Florida?” Randall asked.
Man! Florida sounded like it was so far away. Was he ready to leave Tennessee? What did he have here?
Without his dad, he was like a boat with no rudder. There were friends from school, but what was he going to go to them and say, or expect from them? He had no direction. Florida was as good as any other place. His life as he’d known it was over. He may as well get used to a new one. How could his life have turned from happy and carefree, loved and adored, to one of fear and uncertainty, alone and desperate?
Daniel figured he wasn’t going to get a better offer.
At least this was a chance to go with someone who seemed nice and wasn’t interested in raping, robbing, or beating him.
§ § § §
Nick went straight to Mama Sasy’s to see Sally Ann. He was so afraid to believe that the boy that Sally Ann’s son, Easy, and his new man, Mano, had seen was really Daniel. Was he about to find his son, at last? When he opened the door to the diner at the truck stop, all eyes turned to him and he knew that Easy had told his mother what he believed.
“Nick? Oh, Nick!” Sally Ann said, coming around the counter to open her arms to him. He thought he was going to cry right there in the middle of the diner full of truckers and staff. He wrapped her in his arms and held on, hoping that her goodness and caring soul would give him some kind of good luck mojo. If that could come from anyone, it would be Sally Ann Stanton Young.
“Sally Ann, do you think it could be Daniel? Did Easy sound sure to you? Am I crazy to hope? I’m so scared. I don’t know what to think.” Nick was a babbling wreck.
“Nick, relax, hon. I believe in my heart that this is your Daniel. You know how I felt when you first showed up here,” she said, pulling him to the “family” booth in the back. “I thought you deserved to hurt after what you’d done to that boy. But, Nick, I know your heart, and I believe that you love and accept your son. You’re going to bring him home.”
They were sitting across from each other, her hands grasping both of his on the table top. His eyes filled with tears as her words were like a salve on a painful sore.
He’d come here because he’d needed just this. “Thank you so much. I’m going down early in the morning so I’ll be there when they come back through that truck stop. Easy told me that the waitress said they come through there on Tuesday mornings and Wednesdays at lunch. I’m going to be there early, and I’ll wait for them. If it’s Daniel, I’ll find a way to bring him home.” Nick couldn’t help the shakiness of his voice.
“Nick
, honey, you need to be prepared. Daniel may have gone through things that you can’t imagine. He may not be ready to accept you. I’m not being mean here, but you hurt him deeply, and from what the boys said, he doesn’t seem to be in a good situation with this older man. He may need rescuing, but he may not be ready to just run into your arms. I don’t want your heart broken.” Sally Ann tightened her hands on his, and he returned the pressure. This woman had no idea how much she meant to him. That was another story for another time.
“I know that. I want to ask you, Sally Ann, if he doesn’t want to come home with me, can he come here, stay here with you? Will you help him?”
“Nick, you don’t even have to ask. Whatever either of you need.” Sally Ann, well, Mama Sasy’s, was known far and wide, in most major cities and in the surrounding states, as a safe haven for gays in trouble. She had helped countless young men who found themselves in need of a place to stay, someone to help them in a myriad of ways. She was Mama Sasy to so many thankful young men whose lives had been changed by her good heart and never-ceasing efforts.
“Thank you. That means a lot,” Nick said.
“You have helped me and my boys so much, Nick. So many young men have better lives because of the contacts you’ve made for them, the help you gave them. I know that every time you were able to help you were hoping that someone, somewhere, was helping Daniel. You’re a good man. You’ll be able to reach him. You’ll just have to give him time, or space, or whatever he needs. It’s all about Daniel now.” Sally Ann pulled one hand away and reached up to wipe away the tear that was running down his cheek.
Nick put his hand over hers and pressed it to his cheek for a second. He saw her eyes widen at the gesture and let her go. She blushed as she leaned back in the booth and asked, “So what kind of plans are you making?”
“I’ve got some of his clothes, in case he needs them, a blanket and pillow in case he just wants to sleep on the way home if—if he’ll come with me. God, he will, won’t he? How am I ever going to make up for what I said to him, what I made him feel like he had to do? Run away. I can’t believe that he felt like he couldn’t stay at his home. I can’t even begin to think about the things he’s gone through. If I’d only recovered from my appalling mental break a few minutes quicker, maybe I could have caught him before he was gone.” Pain laced his voice and it, and his hands, shook as he couldn’t help but think of the horrible things that could happen to a good- looking young runaway.
§ § § §
Daniel’s private head-movie was interrupted when the door he was leaning against moved from a resounding kick. Jack’s drunken voice came through, chilling Daniel to the core.
“Da-an-iel? Are you sleeping, pretty boy?”
Daniel shook, silent, hoping the lock held. He didn’t think Jack would force him, but he’d been getting more and more sexually interested in Daniel lately.
A foot hit the door again.
“Daniel! You better answer me, boy. I’ll kick this door down.”
Daniel didn’t doubt him. When Jack was drunk he was really strong and mean.
“Yes, sir. I’m sorry. I just don’t feel good.” Daniel hoped that Jack would let it go at that. Sometimes the man was fine with just throwing his weight around and scaring Daniel, and sometimes he wanted a more hands- on victory over Daniel’s instinctive pulling away.
Daniel let out a quiet sigh as he heard Jack muttering as he walked down the hall to his room. The house was small, and Jack’s room was next to Daniel’s. He heard the television come on and knew that Jack was putting one of his porn tapes in the machine under his TV. Soon the moans and noises of men having sex would be heard through the walls.
Jack was a bit of an enigma to Daniel. Daniel had never seen him with another man, but he knew that he watched gay porn. He’d never touched Daniel, but he looked at him in such a lustful and threatening manner that Daniel was on edge all the time. The reason he’d been safe so far from advances from Jack was clear to Daniel because of the things Jack had said when they’d first met.
§ § § §
Daniel had been with Tony and Randall for almost a year and a half when it all went wrong. They had all gotten along well. Daniel had helped them out at their house. They jokingly called him their houseboy. Not being able to finish high school really weighed on his mind, but without his records and information, he had no way of enrolling. The house, small and in a rural setting, was both a haven and a prison for him. He was afraid to go out much for fear of being seen by someone and reported for not being in school, so he stayed at home most of the time.
The culture shock he went through, going from being a wealthy, privileged teenager to a lower middle class kid with no sense of home, was problematic for Daniel. There was a huge feeling of loss and grief for the life he’d known. He wasn’t unhappy with Tony and Randall, but he felt empty. His life was missing something vital. There was a feeling of sameness to his days. Giving Tony and Randall their due, they tried to make him feel like they were a sort of family. They cared for him, fed him, clothed him, and he truly got the feeling that they thought of him as a sort of stand-in son, the one they’d never thought to have. It was really a strange existence.
Daniel couldn’t help but mourn the life he’d known, and he felt guilty when he did, because Tony and Randall tried so hard to make him feel like he had a home. The memories Daniel had of his father haunted him. They’d been everything to each other for so long, doing literally everything together, sharing their thoughts and planning trips and doing good things for others. That was one thing he’d always admired about his father. The man was generous, gave to different charities, and was always kind to people. His father had seemed to not even recognize class distinctions. He was as kind and thoughtful with the doormen and waiters as he was with his colleagues in the law firm he spearheaded.
Tony and Randall were good to him and he liked seeing how they treated each other. The love they shared was evident in the way they took care of each other. There weren’t any big displays in front of him, but he had seen furtive touches and quick kisses that made him feel good inside. They bought him what he needed, though he had no extras. Since they’d taken him in, and that was a burden on them, he didn’t feel like he had a right to ask for more.
Daniel thought about his father more than he really wanted to. He’d loved the man more than anything and could not stand to think of the look on his dad’s face as he spewed the hateful, final words that had severed their relationship. He did wonder if his father missed him, thought of him, regretted his words. One thing about his father, he didn’t take things back or change his mind.
His existence now wasn’t dismal. It wasn’t horrible. It just wasn’t happy. He liked the two men, and they did a few things with him, took him with them a few places. They did the best they could. Birthdays and holidays weren’t really noted or celebrated. Daniel didn’t mind.
About eighteen months after he’d joined them, sometimes traveling and helping one or the other when one of them was sick, tragedy struck. Daniel expected them home from a run on Friday afternoon, and it was now Saturday night. There’d been no call from them, and he didn’t know who to go to for information. When Sunday morning came with no word, he began to fear that something had happened to them. He went to the little den of the house and started looking through papers, finding a folder with information about the company for which they drove.
He called the office number and the news he was given brought him to his knees. There’d been a wreck on one of the mountain roads in Tennessee, and both Tony and Randall had been killed. The company didn’t know about Daniel so they’d not had anything to tell him about what was to be done. Daniel didn’t know if someone would come to take the house or the stuff in it. They hadn’t talked about anything like this. He had no idea what to do. He didn’t have a way to pay the bills that would be coming in. Unsure of who might be showing up, he made plans to leave, having no clear idea about where to go. Again, with no papers
, how would he get a job? Daniel was once again scared out of his wits.
§ § § §
Daniel could hear the television in the room next door, and he could hear the lewd sounds of the porn that Jack often watched. Nerves made him shake, and his stomach rolled again. Soon he could hear Jack’s breathing, loud and fast, and he covered his ears. His eyes went to the bottom of the bed where he kept a ratty old duffle bag with a few essentials saved in case he ever needed them.
Daniel wished again that he could leave, just run away and start over somewhere else. He’d tried. Twice. The first time Jack had found him within a couple of hours, since Daniel had simply started out on foot. The second time it was one of the men that Jack played poker and drank with that found him and brought him back. Jack had made him very sorry both times. Daniel had never been hit so hard or so often as when he lived with Jack Basham. Daniel was bruised most of the time, though he’d never had any broken bones. His ribs took the brunt of it for some reason. Jack never hit him in the face, and he knew it was because Jack thought he was pretty.
Daniel worked hard for Jack at the small property that Jack owned, far from anything you’d call civilization. Luckily, Jack’s place was in Florida, and therefore Daniel didn’t have to worry about freezing to death. Most of the money Jack made driving was spent on alcohol and a little food. How Jack managed to never be drunk or hung over when he drove the rig, Daniel didn’t know. He would swear, though, that Jack never had been.
The noise from next door was getting louder, as if Jack had turned up the volume. Daniel figured Jack wanted him to hear it, maybe hoping that it would get Daniel excited. That was so far from reality. The irony of his present situation was that despite the fact that he’d admitted to his father that he was gay, he lived the life of a celibate, and God knew he wanted to keep it that way. He was scared that Jack would find out that he was nineteen, not seventeen as he’d been told. Daniel couldn’t imagine how Jack thought he was anything near pretty. He’d lost so much weight, his skin wasn’t clear like it used to be, and his hair was long and lank, most often dirty. That was one of the worst parts of his current life. Daniel had always loved showers and being clean. It hadn’t been something he’d thought about, just taken for granted. Now that he didn’t have it, he missed it. There wasn’t a shower here, and he was always afraid of being caught alone and naked, so he made sure to wash quickly.