by AKM Miles
“Uh, fast food might not be the best for Daniel’s stomach. How about somewhere he can get a chicken dish or something like that? Mashed potatoes and chicken sounds like it might be good for him.” Mano looked back at Daniel for confirmation.
“I hate to be a drag. I’m okay,” he said, not wanting everything to be about him.
“Not a problem. I have the perfect solution. Trust me?” Easy asked the group and all agreed that they did.
“Cracker Barrel, here we come.” Easy laughed when they all made an eager sound.
“Chicken and dumplins for Daniel, or maybe French toast. God, theirs is so good, made with sourdough bread and all that good syrup.” Easy licked his lips as he talked and they all laughed.
“I want the roast beef dinner. Yum, with mashed potatoes and gravy and those sweet little baby carrots. How about you, Benny?” Mano asked.
“I’m all about the breakfast there. Pancakes, bacon and hash brown casserole. None of that for you, Daniel, it’s got little bits of onion in it. But you can have some of my pancakes. Or wait, I usually get the blueberry ones, and those wouldn’t be good for your stomach. I’ll get plain ones this time. I just like them ‘cause the edges are always crispy. Oh, man, I’m hungry now,” Benny said, grinning.
“I’ll be fine with the French toast. Get your blueberry ones. You all think about me too much. I’m not used to it.” Daniel hated feeling like others were changing their ways to accommodate him.
“It comes naturally to us, Daniel. Don’t let it make you uncomfortable, okay? It’ll ease up as you get healthier and happier. Get used to it. Wait until Mama Rosa gets here next week. You’ll have another one wanting to take care of you. When you think about it, it’s not a bad thing.” Easy set the blinker and turned into the drive for Cracker Barrel.
Daniel actually felt a little hungry for the first time he could remember, without any pain.
Lunch was fun, filled with conversation, plans, jokes, teasing, banter, laughter, and delicious food. Daniel could not remember having such a good time in well over two years. He looked forward to spending more time with this group at the zoo. At one point he felt Benny touch his leg. Daniel put his hand down, and they held hands for a few minutes. It was like a secret between them, and Daniel glowed with the knowledge. It wasn’t that the others would mind in the least, but it was just something between Benny and him.
The zoo was even more fun. They walked off the big lunch, and it seemed like they covered the whole zoo.
Daniel loved the elephants and giraffes, and Mano liked the reptiles. Benny and Daniel left Easy and Mano there, and they agreed to meet at the front gate at five.
Benny took his hand, and at first Daniel worried about what others would think, and then figured it didn’t matter. He didn’t care about what anybody thought anymore. He wasn’t all about impressing anyone as Nick Webster’s son and heir. He was Daniel Webster, on a date, sort of.
“This feels like a date.” He could have smacked his head for saying that out loud.
“Sure does. I like it. Our first date. Wanna go steady?” Benny asked, smiling over at him. They were the same height and both as skinny as could be. Daniel thought they probably looked like two scraggly scarecrows walking together.
“You’re silly,” Daniel said, and at the hurt look on Benny’s face, he hurried to say, “Yeah, I do.” Well, he did.
“Fucking queers!”
The sneer came from two bigger boys walking quickly past them. Daniel jerked and tried to take his hand from Benny’s. Benny held on tight and watched the two walk past, throwing disgusted looks over their shoulders.
“Are you queer?” Benny asked Daniel quietly.
“Yes.”
“Then don’t let them bother you. It’s their problem. Come on. Let’s go back to the elephants.”
Daniel was stunned. It was that simple? Just ignore the hate and go on. He guessed so. What else was he going to do? He turned and they headed for the area with the elephants.
Behind them they heard, “Hey, faggots!”
They both turned, and the two were standing looking at them. One, the bigger of the two boys held up his middle finger in the universal “fuck you” symbol. Daniel looked over at Benny to see what he’d do. Benny held up his hand, making a perfect circle, touching his index finger to his thumb and curling all his fingers, making a hole and holding it up. He made a show out of looking the boy up and down, squinting as if measuring, and then the made the circle smaller. Daniel couldn’t help it. He snorted laughter, and when the boy figured it out, he started to run toward them. Benny tugged, and they took off running, dodging people on their way.
Daniel was afraid to look back, but he was getting winded. Being so out of shape shamed him.
“Benny, stop. I can’t run anymore. I’m sorry. I’m not much good at all these days.”
“Shut up. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard you say. You’re getting better and stronger each day. I’m a little tired, too. But, hey, little and quick beats big and clumsy, huh? They’re not behind us anymore. Let’s go see the elephants and then we’ll meet up with Easy and Mano. Can you believe he likes snakes? Yuck. Now, that’s just not right.” Benny shivered for effect, and Daniel was smiling again.
They headed out, and Daniel laughed.
“What?” Benny paused and looked over at him.
“I can’t believe you did that. Boy, he was pissed, huh?” Daniel watched Benny as he ducked his head, taking it as a compliment, and Daniel thought he was so pretty. His hair was shiny and healthy, long and smooth as silk. Benny’s eyes were gleaming with what looked like pride and happiness.
“Yeah, he probably has a peanut dick,” Benny said, and Daniel was lost again, laughing as they headed to the elephants, shoulders bumping and hands clasped. To hell with the world, Daniel was on his first date and having a wonderful time. They spent some quality time with the big mammals and got to the front gate just as Easy and Mano walked up. The small crowd had thinned out, and Daniel stood, mouth agape, as Mano slipped away from Easy and took a running leap, twisting and turning, flipping over and landing squarely on his feet, facing Easy, who was shaking his head.
Daniel could read Easy’s lips as he said, “Showoff!”
“Yep, catch me!” Mano said and ran back to Easy. Just before he got there he leaped, and Easy caught him easily in his open arms and swung him around. Mano’s legs were wrapped around Easy, and he laughed loudly, head leaned back, totally trusting Easy’s grip.
“Good Lord.” Daniel breathed, as Easy put Mano down and rubbed his head, affectionately.
“Wow,” Benny managed.
“Don’t try this at home, folks,” Easy said, as they came up to the boys. “You have to forgive him. He just can’t help it. Scared me to death the first time he did that. When he’s happy, he tends to flip around. You should see him dance.” Pride and love were so evident in his face and voice that Daniel could easily see what Benny had talked about before. Mano was looking back at Easy with his heart in his eyes. Adoration, plain and simple. Yeah, he wanted something like that.
“Hey, anybody hungry? I’ve got a treat planned for supper,” Easy said.
“Don’t we need to get back and help with the supper crowd?” Daniel felt really bad about leaving the diner with no help.
“Nope. Not tonight. We’re going to dine at a nice restaurant and enjoy the end of a great day. Don’t you worry, this was Mama’s idea. I’ve got a run tomorrow, and when I get back I’ve got a week off to help move Mano’s mom up here and get her settled in. I’ll even help some in the diner during the days. Maybe next weekend I can talk my man here into a little side trip for a couple of days.”
Personally, Daniel figured Easy could talk his man there into just about anything, and when he saw Mano eagerly nod his head, he knew he was right. Daniel realized his heart felt light and happy for the first time in over two years.
“Thanks, guys. Today has been really fun. It’s been a long time since I
’ve had a good time. This means a lot,” Daniel told the three others, hoping the stinging in his eyes would go away before he embarrassed himself.
“Hey, we enjoyed every minute of it. I think Benny’s had an equally good time, huh?” Mano said, looking at Benny who nodded as well.
As they headed for the truck, Daniel told them about the two older boys and what they’d said and done and what Benny had done in return. Both Easy and Mano cracked up as he’d expected they would.
Chapter Six
The meal at the nice restaurant proved to be just as much fun as lunch but a little more quiet. They talked of the day, and Daniel looked around, amazed that he was accepted as an equal part of this group. They all, even Benny, whose situation wasn’t much better than Daniel’s, seemed to be so, together. Easy and Mano exuded confidence in their sexuality, and their love for each other was clear in every move they made. They seemed, in Daniel’s eyes, to be connected in a way that put a glow of awareness around them. Mano gravitated toward Easy with a naturalness that made it seem like it was meant to be, and Easy drew Mano to him as if he needed Mano to make his world complete. It made Daniel feel warm to watch them.
They pulled back into the lot at Mama Sasy’s and headed for the front door. Before they reached it, Easy stopped and said, “I don’t believe it.”
They all looked in the front window. Daniel’s dad, Nick Webster, was inside, wearing an apron over his dress shirt and pants, serving coffee to a table. As they watched, he went back, set the pot down, picked up the dish container, and started bussing another table. Daniel felt like the world as he knew it was turning off its axis.
Benny reached over and took Daniel’s hand. Daniel jumped, and his first thought was that his dad would see. His second thought was, “Who the fuck cares?”
They all walked in, and Nick looked up, smiling when he saw them. That surprised Daniel. Above the surprise of seeing his father working in the diner, he was shocked that Nick seemed so comfortable doing menial work. Daniel was so confused about his feelings for this man. Hate, love, admiration, and disgust were all things warring in his mind. He didn’t know what to do with all of them. He ducked his head, not wanting to meet his father’s eyes.
“Hey, guys. I hear you had a day on the town. I hope you had a good time.” Nick never stopped working as he spoke to them as a group.
“We did have a good time,” Easy answered.
“We went to the zoo, and it was cool,” Mano added. “The snakes were the best.”
Benny shuddered and said, “Nope. Disapproved. The elephants rocked.”
Mama came out from the kitchen and said, “The good thing about it is there’s something for everyone. Welcome back, boys. Anybody hungry?”
There were groans all around as they all held their stomachs.
“Okay, I get it. Well, your day off continues. You’re free until tomorrow morning. Go on, Nick and I can handle things here. See you all at breakfast.”
Easy and Mano turned and headed back out, Easy saying, “Hey, Daniel, let’s get your new stuff out of the truck. I’ll take Mom’s sack to her, and Mano, I’ll meet you at home.”
“Thanks, Mama Sasy,” Daniel said, and turned to leave. He couldn’t help it. He looked at his dad. Nick was standing, dish bucket in hand, looking broken because Daniel hadn’t acknowledged him. Daniel nodded toward his dad and walked out. It was all he could do.
§ § § §
Daniel and Benny headed for the outside door to the dorm and, as if choreographed, they turned together to watch Easy and Mano as they reached the door of their apartment at the back of the complex. It was clear that the two of them weren’t aware of their audience, or maybe they just didn’t care. As they reached their door, Mano turned and gave a little hop, and Easy caught him easily. Mano’s arms wound around Easy’s neck, and his legs wrapped Easy’s waist. Easy pressed Mano against the door, and they shared a very long, hot kiss.
“I feel like a sleazy voyeur,” Daniel admitted, but he didn’t quit looking.
“Maybe, but it’s not like they care. They’re so much in love, they don’t notice anyone else half the time, and I think that’s just the way it should be. Now you see what I mean, don’t you? They’re like, inspiring.” Benny laughed as he said it, turning to go in their own door. “They’d crack up if I told them that.”
“Yeah, I don’t see them as being in your face. They just feel it.”
The two young men hurried inside, and Daniel took his bags of new things to his area and began putting them in his locker, chest of drawers, and closet. When that was done, he went to his bed and sat down, lost as to what to do next. He looked over, and Benny was sitting on his bed, watching him.
“Kind of strange, not having something to do, huh?” Benny asked.
“Yeah, I’m sorta lost. It’s too early to go to bed, but I don’t know what I should do. Any ideas?” Daniel looked to Benny for help.
“Got a few. Can I come over there?” Benny asked.
“Sure.” Daniel didn’t have any qualms about his answer. He trusted Benny pretty much more than anyone right now. He liked him, too. But he wasn’t sure he was ready to go there.
Benny hopped off his bed and joined Daniel. He sat beside Daniel and then scooted until his back was against the wall. Daniel copied him, and they sat close. Benny brought his knees up and circled them with his arms, and for some reason Daniel did the same. Benny giggled, and Daniel blushed, putting his knees down.
“Oh, no, honey. I wasn’t laughing at you. Come on, get comfortable with me. I was just, well, to be honest, nervous,” Benny said, putting his hand out and touching Daniel’s knee after he’d drawn them up again.
“I’m sorry. I’m a little quick to be…” Daniel didn’t know how to continue.
“Hurt?” Benny supplied.
Daniel nodded slowly and said, “Yeah, I guess. Today was so different for me. I’m not used to being happy and having fun. My old life, when I was all those things, seems so long ago.”
“Daniel, if you ever want to talk about it, what you went through, I would listen. I’d never tell anyone. I’m surprised they haven’t made you go to counseling or something like that.”
Daniel gasped, scared at even the thought of that. The idea of having to meet with some stranger and tell him or her everything he’d lived through in the last two years made him shiver.
“Shh, it’s okay. I understand. Like I said, I haven’t gone through anything as bad as what I figure you have, but really, if it would help, you can talk to me. I don’t judge, and Daniel?” Benny paused until Daniel turned to look at him. “I like you, a lot. After all, we’re going steady, right?”
Daniel chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, and after only one date. I’m afraid you’re going to think I’m easy.”
“No, Easy’s the big guy back there.” Benny gestured toward the back of the building. “You know, the one who carries his lover around all the time.”
“Smarty. He has to, I guess, to get on the same level. There’s such a difference in their heights, he’d have a bad back from leaning down to kiss Mano, so he just brings Mano up to his level. I think it’s kind of cute.”
“Well, we don’t have to worry about that. We’re the same height. Neither of us would have to bend a lot if we wanted to kiss.” Benny just left that statement out there. Daniel didn’t know what to do with it.
Did he want to kiss Benny? Did he want Benny to kiss him?
There was silence. Daniel felt his face flame, and he was afraid to look at Benny. He felt like Benny was waiting for him to say something, but he was, frankly, chicken.
“It’s okay, Daniel. I’m not trying to pressure you into anything. I was just sayin’.”
“I know. I hate feeling so awkward. I didn’t used to,” Daniel said, trying to remember how he had felt before his life blew apart.
“Tell me about Daniel Webster, from before. What you were like back then, and do you want to be that person again? Do you feel like the things you
’ve been through have changed you too much to get the old Daniel back again?” Benny quietly asked, and Daniel knew it wasn’t just being nosey. Benny cared about him.
Daniel thought about his answer, deciding it was time to do a little soul searching, looking inside to see if what was in there was truly broken.
For some reason, when he started talking, it wasn’t to answer the question, but to tell Benny everything that had happened to him. Benny reached over and took his hand as soon as he started. That made it easier for him to go on. The hand, the tender touch, grounded him.
Daniel hadn’t gotten very far when he realized that Benny had made a distressed sound. He stopped and turned just a little to see Benny.
“Please, ignore me. Go on. You’re breaking my heart. I can’t believe how much I feel for you. I need to hear the rest, if you can keep on.” Benny used his other hand to wipe his face.
Daniel thought for a minute. Should he go on? Benny saying that his heart was breaking was almost enough to make Daniel stop. But he had started this, and he would finish it. Maybe there would be something good that would come from telling it all. At least with Benny, he had a sympathetic listener.
Daniel went on and told about his life with Tony and Randall; how he felt safe, but lonely most of the time. When he got to the part about losing them, he felt Benny tighten his fingers, and Daniel squeezed back. He managed to get through the attempted rape in the alley and the save by Jack Basham. When he explained that he thought he was going to be safe with Jack, he was surprised when Benny growled.
“Ooh, you sound fierce.”
Benny pulled Daniel closer and put an arm around his shoulders, drawing him near. “Is this okay?”
Daniel liked it, soaked it up. “Yes.”
He went on with the rest of the story, telling Benny how it wasn’t long before the hits and slaps started, the endless work he had to do for Jack, and how Jack’s repeatedly referring to his age and how you don’t mess with kids and when was Daniel going to be eighteen kept him so full of fear that he was unable to eat or sleep. Daniel even talked about hearing the porn through the wall and when Jack would stand outside his door and chant his name.